


Cold Heart, Colder Games

by lesbians_on_ice



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Alternate Universe - Hunger Games Setting, Angst and Tragedy, Battle Royale - Freeform, Character Death, Eventual Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Slow Burn, So many people you love are gonna die, Strangers to Lovers, Violence, for The Hunger Games series at least, i'm sorry in advance, kind of, mentions to Hunger Games canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:33:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 84,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23573161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbians_on_ice/pseuds/lesbians_on_ice
Summary: When six-year-old Axel Nishigori gets reaped for the 125th Hunger Games Quarter Quell, Yuuri Katsuki volunteers to protect her for her mother. However, the Hunger Games are no easy feat, and even if Yuuri does not plan on coming out alive, he needs to survive long enough to save Axel. In order to manage that, Yuuri seeks out the help of aloof victor Viktor Nikiforov, their mentor. However, Viktor is a cold and callous man, uninterested in Yuuri's struggle. Yuuri is going to have to work hard to convince Viktor that he and Axel are not a lost cause, and more importantly, to survive the games.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 199
Kudos: 217





	1. The Reaping

**Author's Note:**

> Did anyone ask for a Hunger Games AU? No? Okay, I'll write one. Fair warning that a lot of beloved characters are going to die due to the nature of this AU. This isn't going to be a happy story.

Yuuri scrubbed at his fingernails harshly, trying the get the stains of coal dust off of his hands. He did this every night after his twelve hour shift, but he’d never seemed to be able to truly get rid of the stuff since he’d started working in the mines 6 years ago. At the very best, he was able to get his hands to a light grey color, but never clean. Maybe tonight would be different, though, he told himself. After all, he didn’t have to work the next day due to the Reaping. Maybe he could get his hands clean for once.

Yuuri continued scrubbing at his hands until there was a knock at the bathroom door. It cracked open to reveal Mari, a tense expression on her face. She was a tall and broad-shouldered woman, strong from years of carrying grain and other supplies for the more wealthy elderly of the district for money. “Yuuri,” she said to her brother, “it’s time.” Yuuri put down the blackened scrubbing brush and followed his sister into the living room. Tonight was the night before the Reaping for the 125th Hunger Games, so the Capitol mandated that every family watch a special program unveiling this year’s Quarter Quell. At 24, this was the first Quarter Quell Yuuri had lived to see, but he had heard how terrible they could be. The last one, taking place when Mari was only 5, had apparently forced the tributes selected to be crippled before being sent into the Arena. The Capitol was particularly cruel that year, blinding some, breaking the legs of others, all before the tributes had even stepped foot in the Arena. Yuuri shuddered to imagine what twist the Capitol might put on this year’s games.

Yuuri settled down in front of the small, staticky television in their living room. Mari sat next to him, taking his hand in hers, and their parents sat behind them on the old, collapsing couch. The family shared a solemn silence as they waited, watching a rerun of an older Hunger Games playing on the Capitol feed. A boy was throwing a spear at a younger boy when the screen suddenly cut to live footage from the Capitol. The President, an old, seemingly immortal man, delivered a speech about the honor of the Hunger Games, and the Katsuki family watched in grim silence as the President was presented with the envelopes containing centuries of future Quarter Quells. “I heard from someone at the Market that once, they reaped from the pool of existing Victors,” said Mari suddenly. “That was the 75th Hunger Games.”

Hiroko, their mother, placed a gentle hand on her daughter’s shoulder, but regarded her sternly. “Mari, you know better than to talk about those games,” she warned. Mari hung her head. Yuuri knew why their kind mother had to be harsh, though. Mention of the 74th and 75th Hunger Games was forbidden.

The President selected the envelope marked ‘125.’ He opened the yellowed thing, unfolding the paper within. His voice was booming and commanded attention. “In memory of those who have sacrificed themselves to honor their districts,” he spoke, “for the 125th annual Hunger Games, the reaping pool will be expanded to every living member of the districts between the ages of 5 and 80.”

There was a horrified gasp behind Yuuri, and Mari bolted up to comfort their mother. “Impossible,” said their father, Toshiya. Yuuri, however, just stared blankly at the screen, completely deaf to the President’s closing speech and the return of the boy spearing the other on screen. _That might be him_ , he realized. Yuuri had long since aged out of the Hunger Games, but now? That didn’t matter. Not just him, but his family, _everyone_ older than 4 and younger than 81 was at risk of being reaped this year. Yuuri felt the telltale ice prickles of anxiety welling up within him. Before he turned 19, the Reaping had terrified him, especially before Mari aged out of it. For a while, both Katsuki children had been petrified, certain that one day, one of them would be chosen and sent to fight 23 other kids to the death. That had never happened, though, and on Yuuri’s 19th birthday, the family had celebrated their luck of never having been selected. That might change now, though.

“Mom, it’s not going to happen,” reasoned Mari. “We’re four names in thousands. It’s not going to be any of us.” Yuuri admired his older sister for being so calm under pressure, but his gut twisted painfully. Yes, they were four people, but each of them had needed to sign up for Tesserae multiple times in their youth in addition to the 7 times each of their names would already be entered due to their ages. Mari was right, though, Yuuri tried to assure himself. Even so, thousands of people were in the same situation. Thousands of people had their names in multiple times, some even more than Yuuri’s family.

What were the odds that it would be any of them?

Yuuri carried a small sack of wild strawberries he’d picked in the meadow. It was summer, and edible plants were luckily quite abundant this time of year. He stepped up to the doorway and knocked, and the door was quickly answered by Yuuko, who smiled and invited Yuuri inside.

“I brought some wild strawberries,” Yuuri said. “I figured, after the Reaping today, you could make some sweet jam to go with bread for the girls.”

“Thank you, Yuuri,” Yuuko said, gratefully taking the pouch of berries. As if summoned, three identical twin girls charged into the living room, hugging Yuuri around his legs.

“Yuuri!” they said in excited unison. Each of them was already dressed up, wearing matching white blouses with skirts identical except in color: purple for Axel, blue for Lutz, and pink for Loop.

“Hi, girls!” Yuuri greeted, patting their heads and ruffling their hair. “Wow, you three look so pretty today!”

“Of course,” said Lutz.

“Mama always dresses us up nice for the Reaping,” chimed in Loop.

Then, it hit Yuuri that for the first time, the girls would all be in the reaping pool. The fact was like a punch to the stomach. Yuuko seemed to notice this and ushered the girls away, telling them to go do each other’s hair. Then she sat down.

“Yuuri,” she said, voice dropped to a soft and sensitive tone. “What am I supposed to do?” Yuuri knew what she meant. Her girls, only 6 years of age, would never survive a Hunger Games. However, with this Quarter Quell, they were eligible to be reaped for the first time in their lives. The thought of a 6-year-old having to go into the Arena was sickening. It was barbaric that it was even a possibility.

Yuuri put a comforting hand on his best friend’s shoulder. Once upon a time, long before the triplets, Yuuri had loved Yuuko. It was a childish infatuation, blossoming when they were both kids, but it never amounted to anything. It had been clear from the beginning that Yuuko loved Takeshi, her now husband. The family had been just as lucky as Yuuri’s own, but in a different way. Yuuko should have died, giving birth to triplets in a place like Twelve. Yuuri’s mother was a healer, though, and she had miraculously seen Yuuko through the pregnancy and labor. Their families had always been close, but as soon as the girls came into the world, their dynamic changed entirely. Yuuko was like a sister to Yuuri, the girls like the nieces he’d never had.

“You don’t need to do anything,” Yuuri said consolingly. “Their names are only in once. They won’t get picked.”

“But what if _I_ do, Yuuri?” argued Yuuko, tears welling up in her soft brown eyes. “Or Takeshi? Both of us did the Tesserae. Either of us could get picked, and then—“

“Yuuko,” Yuuri interrupted, gripping her shoulders more firmly. “It won’t happen. And even if it did, you know I’d take care of your girls. We’re family, aren’t we?”

Yuuko sniffled, wiping her eyes. “Oh, Yuuri,” she whispered, pulling her dear friend into her arms. “Thank you. I know you’d do anything for us.”

Yuuri had helped support the Nishigori family for years. He, Yuuko, and Takeshi had always shared what little they had, but when the triplets were born, Yuuri always made sure to give anything he could spare to the struggling family. He and Takeshi had worked together in the mines for years, but one worker’s salary wasn’t enough to support a wife and three girls. Yuuri and his father both worked, so Yuuri always gave some of the money he made to the Nishigoris. Additionally, on days like today where he didn’t work from sunrise to sunset, he’d forage food from the meadow and make trades at the Market, and he always split his spoils evenly with Yuuko despite her insistence that he keep most of it for himself. However, Yuuri’s family got by well enough with two working men, so it was never any skin off their backs to help support Yuuko, Takeshi, and their growing girls.

Yuuri hugged Yuuko back, stroking her auburn hair comfortingly. She truly was his best friend, and he’d do anything for her. However, the threat of the Reaping loomed over both of their heads like a black cloud. Yuuri tried to reassure himself with his own words. The odds were in their favor. They wouldn’t be chosen. They _couldn’t_ be chosen.

Yuuri and his family trudged together toward the square where the Reaping would take place. Yuuri was uncomfortable, wearing the same slacks that were just a little bit too small and button down that he’d worn for the Reaping ever since he’d grown into them. Mari walked beside him, holding his hand and looking equally displeased to be wearing a simple blue dress handed down form their mother despite how lovely it made her look. It was a wonder that Mari hadn’t married by now at 30 years of age. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been courted, but she’d never shown any interest in men or the idea of starting a new family. She seemed content where she was, taking care of their aging parents. As for Yuuri, he had never been sure about the idea of love or starting a family. Maybe someday, he thought.

Peacekeepers were everywhere, lining the entire perimeter of the square. The whole district couldn’t possibly fit there, but Yuuri and his family had arrived early enough to be in the crowd that did. Yuuri kept his eyes down from the authoritative figures clothed in white suits. The Peacekeeper presence in District 12 had been heavy ever since Yuuri could remember, but it was particularly so on Reaping Day. Some people in the crowd were shoved along roughly by the Peacekeepers, but Yuuri didn’t dare say a word. The last thing he wanted was to be dragged to the whipping post and beaten.

Yuuri and his family exchanged hugs as they were separated to go with their designated age groups. Yuuri, being the youngest, was ushered to check in closer to the stage than the rest of his family. He barely noticed the pain when his finger was pricked and blood sample taken. His hands were too numb from the nerves. After checking in, Yuuri searched the crowd for familiar faces and locked eyes with Yuuko and Takeshi, who were able to stand together since their ages were close. Yuuri waved and walked over to join them. Far past them near the very front, Yuuri could make out the pigtails, bun, and ponytail of the triplets, huddled close together. Being able to see them made Yuuri sigh in relief.

It took a long time for the Reaping to start, since nearly every member of the district had needed to sign in. Yuuri stood wordlessly with Yuuko and Takeshi, holding the former’s hand in reassurance. It was okay. They wouldn’t be picked. It would be two other unfortunate souls, and they could all get together to have a celebratory meal when it was over.

Then, Yuuri thought grimly, they could have another 6 years of peace before the girls were thrown into the reaping pool again.

Finally, the Capitol representative for their district, Celestino Cialdini, appeared on the stage. He was a loud, boisterous man who always wore the most ridiculous of brightly colored suits. Today, he was donning a purple getup that looked like it was made of plastic. Yuuri couldn’t imagine it was very comfortable.

The man enthusiastically stepped up to the microphone, tapping it twice. “Welcome, welcome!” he greeted the citizens of Twelve enthusiastically. Yuuri was almost envious that someone could be so energetic at a time like this, but he supposed that Celestino’s circumstances were drastically different than his own, weren’t they? “Happy Hunger Games! May the odds be ever in your favor!” Celestino gave the same spiel he did every year about the generosity of the Capitol and what a wonderful opportunity it was for the oldest and youngest of their district to have a chance to represent their district in the so-called pageant of honor. Yuuri wanted to roll his eyes, but he could see the crowds of Twelve projected onto screens everywhere, so he didn’t risk it.

“And now,” boomed Celestino in his rich voice, “we have a treat for you! A special film all the way from the Capitol! Let’s watch!”

The projectors changed to the same film they played every year at every Reaping since Yuuri could remember. The film described how the Hunger Games had originally started after the First Rebellion of the districts against the Capitol. The Hunger Games were a punishment for the districts’ defiance, so every year, each district had to offer up one boy and one girl between the ages of 12 and 18 to fight to the death in a televised arena. Except this year, the Quarter Quell, where the reaping pool was extended to the 5-80 age range. Yuuri felt sick.

The video then went on to describe the events of the Second Uprising, which took place after the 74th Hunger Games and continued until after the 75th. Those were dark days when many people, both in the districts and the Capitol, had died, and the original District 12 had been burned to the ground due to the actions of the one who started it all. The radicals responsible for the uprising, said the Capitol film, had been swiftly captured and put to death after the 75th Hunger Games, and the rebellion ended. All those who were involved in it had their names forbidden and were erased from history.

Yuuri had always wondered what exactly had happened. In school, the history books always said that a foolish teenager from District 12 had managed to rile up the districts with their impulsive behavior during the 74th Hunger Games, but the Capitol was easily able to put a stop to it. Yuuri wondered if that was the truth. Likely, there was more to it than that, but Yuuri would never know. All mention of those people and all showings of those games were strictly forbidden throughout Panem, and what little information the districts were given about the Second Rebellion was heavily filtered by the Capitol.

After the Second Rebellion, though, District 12 had been rebuilt. The country still needed coal, and so the surviving war criminals and poorest of the other districts were gathered, and a new Twelve was created. This Twelve, Yuuri had heard, was not too unlike the old one, except it was far stricter due to the natures of the people who had originally populated it. There were rumors that the old District 12 had been so relaxed, the 20 foot fence surrounding the district had seldom been electrified, and the Peacekeepers back then even participated in an illegal black market that used to exist. Those were just rumors, though. Yuuri couldn’t imagine a Twelve like that, having grown up watching the daily televised beatings and executions of lawbreakers in the square. Even now, Yuuri glanced back at the stocks that broke the crowd and shuddered. He’d never been punished himself, luckily, but he’d seen it happen. His mother had cared for the bloody victims of whippings his entire life. It had always made his stomach twist into knots.

The film ended, and Celestino cheerily announced that it was time to select this year’s tributes. “Ladies first!” he said, walking over to the tank of names. Usually, it was just a large glass bowl, but this year, they had had to use huge containers to fit nearly every name from the district in them. Celestine removed one of his purple gloves and reached into the tank, digging until he finally pulled out a single slip of paper. He walked back to the microphone and unfolded the paper. _Please_ , thought Yuuri. _Don’t let it be Mom or Mari. Don’t let it be Yuuko._

And it wasn’t.

“Axel Nishigori,” spoke Celestino into the microphone, and Yuuri’s blood went cold. The cameras honed in on the little girl in the purple skirt, who was white as a sheet. Beside Yuuri, Yuuko kicked and thrashed in Takeshi’s arms, but Yuuri was too stunned to notice. Axel. How? How could it have possibly been her? She was one name in ] _thousands!_ How could she have possibly been the one chosen? The odds were always in her favor!

Yuuko let out a muffled scream, and Yuuri snapped out of his frozen state. Takeshi held his hand over Yuuko’s mouth, and by the way he was wincing, Yuuri assumed she was biting him. Yuuri could guess why exactly Takeshi was holding her like that, and he shook his head rapidly. “Yuuko! Yuuko, listen to me!” Yuuri said, stepping in front of her to look her in the eye. “You can’t volunteer for her. Lutz and Loop need you, and Axel would never forgive herself if her mother sacrificed herself for her. You have to stay here!” Yuuko stared at Yuuri hopelessly before melting into sobs, completely collapsing in Takeshi’s arms. Yuuri turned his attention back to the stage, where Axel nervously approached Celestino. He greeted her enthusiastically, making a comment about their matching outfits, and Yuuri felt sick. It was clear nobody was happy to see a 6-year-old reaped for the games, much less beloved Axel. Nobody dared to speak up for her, though, and Yuuri felt the beginnings of panic take over him as Celestino approached the tank containing the boys’ names. No, no, this wasn’t fair. That little girl couldn’t possibly survive the elements, let alone an adult with a blade. Axel quietly sniffled to herself, her legs shaking visibly on the stage. This was impossible. How could anybody expect a little girl to survive the games on her own?

She couldn’t do this alone.

Yuuri didn’t even hear what boy’s name was read from the tank. “I volunteer!” he shouted at the top of his lungs, raising his hand. “I volunteer as tribute!” All eyes turned to him, and Yuuri froze again. What? What did he just say? His face was projected on every screen in Twelve, and Yuuri was certain he’d throw up.

“Well!” boomed Celestino. “It seems we have a volunteer! Come on up!” Yuuri mechanically started to walk before his arm was grabbed in a bruising grip. He turned to see Yuuko, tears streaming down her face.

“No!” she shrieked. “You can’t!”

“She can’t do this alone.” It was like the words didn’t even come from him. “Lutz and Loop need their parents, but nobody needs me. I’ll go with her.” Before Yuuko could protest further, Yuuri wrenched his arm from her grasp and marched toward the stage. Peacekeepers surrounded him to make sure he wouldn’t make a run for it, but Yuuri was too overcome with shock to even entertain the thought. What had he just done?

As he walked onto the stage, Yuuri was overwhelmed with a sense of dread. He’d just made the most foolish decision of his life. He couldn’t survive the Hunger Games, let alone protect Axel from them! He was nothing special, just another coal miner! He had no skills! All he knew how to do was mine! However, as Yuuri met the eyes of Axel, staring at him like he was her only hope, Yuuri steeled himself. Mining might not be much, but it was more than Axel had. He had to protect her. Maybe the odds were against either of them surviving, but if Yuuri could do anything for that little girl, then he would.

Celestino asked Yuuri’s name, and Yuuri couldn’t choke it out at first, only managing a soft wheeze. He tried again, and managed to speak, “Yuuri Katuski,” in a stable enough voice into the microphone.

Celestino congratulated him on his bravery before saying, “I present to you, District 12’s tributes for the 125th annual Hunger Games! Shake hands, you two!” Instead of shaking Yuuri’s hand, though, Axel ran straight to Yuuri and hugged his legs. Yuuri instinctively hugged her back, and Celestino cooed over how precious and adorable the scene was to him. Yuuri and Axel faced the cameras again, each of them putting on the bravest face they could manage despite the coils of fear and dread choking them both.

Yuuri was going to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes about this AU:  
> 1) As explained in the chapter, this takes place 50 years after Katniss in an AU where she was captured by the Capitol after the 75th Hunger Games and executed, ending the rebellion. However, despite this taking place in the same universe, no characters from the Hunger Games canon are going to appear in this fic except in vague mention.  
> 2) District 13 was also finally destroyed when they revealed themselves again, so no, there will be no revolution in this. Sorry.  
> 3) I've read the series about 10 times, but I didn't specifically reread it for this fic, so if any details are off, I'm sorry. I rewatched the movies, so I'm partially going off of them. For instance, I know that the announcement for the Quarter Quell was supposed to happen long before the Reaping, but I made it happen the day before. Sue me for the inaccuracies, but I'll try to keep it as close to canon as possible.  
> And that's it! This is my first multi-chapter fic on this site, so I'll try my best to update as consistently as I can! Chapter 2 is already a good deal written, so hopefully I'll have that up soon! Chapters also might be longer in the future. Please let me know what y'all think, and thank you for reading!


	2. Viktor Nikiforov

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri says goodbye to his family and boards the train to the Capitol. He meets his and Axel's mentor, Viktor Nikiforov, but the victor is a cold and unpredictable man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Updating in less than 24 hours? Don't get used to it. I just happened to have this chapter mostly written when I posted the first one. Chapter 3 is drafted, too, but after that, updates will probably slow down a bit.

Yuuri stood alone inside the Justice Building. Despite only being fifty years old, the room was coated in dust from disuse. Yuuri’s supposed that this was probably the room they used every year for the tributes to say their goodbyes. Given that, he doubted anyone wanted to purpose it for anything else. Yuuri felt dizzy.

The door to the room finally opened, and Yuuri found himself enveloped in warm hugs. He looked upon the faces of his family and felt the urge to cry press against the backs of his eyes. However, Hiroko was already crying, and Yuuri didn’t want to upset his mother more.

“It’s going to be okay, Mom,” Yuuri reassured her, tenderly pulling to older woman into his arms. “You still have Dad and Mari. They’ll take care of you.”

His mother sniffed. “I don’t care about that! I care about you!” The exclamation struck Yuuri like a slap to the face, and he looked to his feet.

“It’ll be okay,” he said again, turning away. However, when he looked up at met the eyes of his sister, Yuuri’s heart ached. She looked at him with a steady gaze, staying strong despite everything, and seeing that from her was what made Yuuri finally break down. Tears flowed from Yuuri’s eyes, and Mari pulled him to her chest. “Mari,” he sobbed, shaking in her arms. “Mari, please, take care of them.” Then, quietly, he whispered, “I’m so scared.”

Mari pulled back, holding Yuuri by the shoulders and looking at him sternly. “Yuuri,” she said. “You can do this. You’re strong, so much stronger than I could ever be.” Yuuri smiled weakly. He wasn’t. He was never strong. That was always Mari. Yuuri couldn’t do this, and even if he could, he’d be sacrificing himself for Axel. He’d never see her or his family again. Mari seemed to read his thoughts and tilted his chin up with a steady hand, smiling slightly. “Keep your head up, and don’t forget why you’re doing this. I believe in you.” She stepped back and Yuuri turned to face his father.

Toshiya regarded Yuuri with a neutral but somehow loving expression, pulling his son into a hug. When he did, though, he whispered in Yuuri’s ear, “Do you remember what I taught you?” Yuuri reflected on those days with his father down by the lake and nodded slightly. His father pulled back and placed a hand on his son’s shoulder, smiling. “You can do this,” he said with so much certainty, it made Yuuri feel like crumbling. “You’re smart, Yuuri. You have an advantage they don’t know about.” Toshiya let go of his son. “You can win, Yuuri.”

Only Yuuri wasn’t planning on winning, and it seemed only Mari understood that.

The Peacekeepers opened the door, signaling that their time was up. The Katsuki family hugged one last time before filing out of the room except for Yuuri, who was left behind, alone. He sat on the dusty couch and put his face in his hands, weeping.

Yuuri was left in silence for a little while before the door opened again. This time, the Nishigoris rushed in, and judging by the redness of their eyes, they had already said their goodbyes to Axel. Lutz and Loop ran over to hug Yuuri’s legs, crying as children do. Yuuri hugged them and then looked up to Yuuko only to be stunned as a hard hand struck him across the face.

“Why, Yuuri?” Yuuko screamed, hand held up from where she’d just slapped him. “Why would you do that?” She was heaving, and it was obvious that she was barely keeping it together.

Yuuri hung his head. “I just wanted to give Axel her best chance,” he finally said. Yuuko looked ready to scream at him again, but her expression wavered and she melted into a fit of sobs. She pulled Yuuri into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized, weeping. Yuuri silently hugged her back, his best friend that he’d never see again. Takeshi wrapped his arms around both of them, and the three of them stayed like that in silence for several moments. The door opened again, and they pulled back. Yuuko kissed Yuuri’s cheek before rushing from the room as if she couldn’t bear to stay a moment longer. The girls instinctively followed their mother, leaving Yuuri alone with Takeshi.

Takeshi put a hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. “Yuuri,” he said in a wavering voice Yuuri had never heard from him before. However, he smiled as the tears welled up in his eyes. “Thank you,” he said, the emotion behind those two words conveying every bit of gratitude he felt toward Yuuri. Yuuri simply nodded. The Peacekeepers grabbed Takeshi and pulled him from the room, leaving Yuuri alone again.

Axel and Yuuri held hands as they were escorted to the train in a car. Yuuri found the motion of the vehicle sickening, having never ridden in one before, but he was determined not to throw up. Cameras were still everywhere, and he refused to show the country his weakness. As the two tributes were ushered by Celestino to board the train, Yuuri took one last look behind him at District 12, his lifelong home, before finally stepping onto the train.

He wouldn’t be coming back.

Celestino chattered about the wonders of the Capitol as he led Yuuri and Axel through the train. Something about chandeliers was all Yuuri caught, too wrapped up in his own thoughts. Those thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt, though, as the two tributes were led into another car. Yuuri’s jaw dropped. He’d never seen so much food in his life. There was everything he could think of, various meats and fine rolls and soups, even a table completely dedicated to desserts. Celestino commented how the banquet was specially prepared just for them, and Yuuri couldn’t believe it. This much food could feed his family for weeks, and it was all for them?

Axel, evidently, did not need as much time to process it as Yuuri. She squealed excitedly and made a beeline for the desserts, shoveling pastries into her mouth with her bare hands. Celestino grimaced. “Why do you all always have such atrocious manners?” he asked in a way Yuuri could tell was not intended to be as rude as it was. Yuuri smiled at Axel, though. She had the right idea; both of them could stand to gain a few pounds. Yuuri made his way to one of the tables and began stuffing his face with decadent breads dipped straight into the platters of soup. The taste was indescribable. The soups were so rich, it was almost overwhelming. However, they were undoubtedly the best thing Yuuri had eaten in his life, so he bit past the richness and gorged himself.

However, the feasting was interrupted when the door to the car opened again, and a man walked in. Yuuri’s dropped the roll in his hand when he laid eyes on Viktor Nikiforov.

Viktor Nikiforov. Of course, Yuuri should have realized earlier that he’d meet him here. Yuuri had seen him before, but the man was even more beautiful in person, with ash blond hair that looked almost silver cut in an attractive fringe over his left eye. Those eyes were gorgeous, too, sparkling blue like the sky but with an icy quality to them. He was taller than Yuuri and well-built despite never having worked in the mines. He didn’t have to. Viktor had won his games thirteen years ago at the young age of 15.

There were rumors about Viktor. Some admired him for his strength and resourcefulness. After all, Viktor had managed to survive the Hunger Games so young by being clever and quick-witted. However, not everyone viewed the victor so favorably. Part of that was due to his demeanor. Viktor had a cool air about him. He was charming, apparently, but aloof. He was known for icy smiles and cold regards. Likewise, he didn’t get involved with anything that happened in Twelve. When people were starving, begging for help and food, Viktor simply remained hidden in his home in Victors Village with all his riches and winnings. Many resented him for his coldness and refusal to help others, others resented him for his actions in the games. Viktor hadn’t just won because he was resourceful; he’d also won because he was strong, having killed four tributes during his games. Yuuri had heard the whispers. “Murderer,” he was called. In districts like One and Two and especially in the Capitol, murder was glorified, something praised and expected. In outlying districts like Twelve, though, what was done in the games was not so easily excused. Viktor was a social pariah in much of Twelve. “He should have died,” some said bitterly, though Yuuri figured many of these people were just jealous of Viktor’s wealth.

Yuuri, on the other hand, was unsure what to make of Viktor. When Viktor had won his games when Yuuri was only 11, Yuuri had been enamored. People from Twelve never won the games, so seeing a boy from his district come home for once filled Yuuri with hope. He watched Viktor’s games over and over as they were continuously played that year, and Yuuri began to idolize the 15-year-old who had beaten the odds. He studied what Viktor had done, the things he’d eaten, the traps he’d set, the skills he displayed. Yuuri took notes in a journal he’d received for his birthday, writing down everything Viktor had done and studying it. Yuuri went out into the fields of twelve, drawing and memorizing the plants he’d seen Viktor eat and use, and when his parents weren’t looking, Yuuri practiced setting snares for animals. It had taken quite some practice to teach himself the art of trapping. At best, he’d only managed a basic snare, but the day he caught his first rabbit, Yuuri had never been so proud of himself. He’d eagerly run home and showed the dead animal to his parents.

However, they didn’t receive it proudly. Instead, they’d worn matching looks of fear and horror and had asked if anyone else had seen him with the rabbit. Yuuri tearfully answered no, but his parents didn’t relax. They took the rabbit from him and told him that he must never do something like that again. If the Peacekeepers saw him poaching, he’d be whipped in the square or worse. Yuuri argued that he’d done it because Viktor had done it and showed them his journal, but that just scared them more. They took away the journal, and after that, Yuuri wasn’t allowed to watch reruns of the games anymore.

As a kid, Yuuri had been dejected. He hadn’t understood why his parents reacted so harshly, especially when they made the rabbit he’d caught into stew for supper. He thought, wasn’t he doing his family proud by being resourceful like Viktor? But as Yuuri grew up, he began to understand. He saw people beaten and killed for breaking even the smallest of laws. He saw people cry as their children were killed on television every year. Yuuri grew up, and he understood why his parents had freaked out; they didn’t want him to look up to someone like Viktor.

However, Yuuri’s feelings toward the victor became more muddled than changed. He caught glimpses of him sometimes in the merchant part of the district. He saw him every year on television as a mentor in the Games. Once, while Yuuri was selling some medicinal salves his mother had made at the Market, he could have sworn Viktor had met his gaze for a second before Yuuri hurriedly looked away. Yuuri had dreamed many nights about that gaze he swore he’d caught. Viktor Nikiforov was handsome. He had grown taller since his games. His willowy frame filled with broad shoulders and toned muscle. Yuuri remembered the year when Viktor showed up on TV with his long hair cut short in its current style, but that hadn’t taken away from his looks in the slightest. When Yuuri reached his teenage years, he thought about Viktor more than he should have. He had thoughts that he knew were inappropriate. He didn’t tell anyone about them but Yuuko, who he swore into secrecy. His infatuation with Viktor was something that he felt deeply embarrassed and ashamed about. “It’s fine,” he’d try telling himself sometimes. “He only hurt those people in self-defense.” That was true; despite his body count, Viktor never attacked another tribute first. He fought viciously, but never on the offensive. Did that excuse murder, though? Yuuri wondered. Was it okay to kill to save oneself? Yuuri didn’t know, and so he buried those thoughts deep in his mind once he reached adulthood. He went into the mines and stopped seeing Viktor Nikiforov. The blonde man with piercing eyes became a memory.

Until now.

Yuuri slowly swallowed the bite of bread he’d been chewing. He was staring at Viktor with wide eyes as the other man watched him with an unreadable expression. What? Why was Viktor looking at him like that? Yuuri squirmed under that intense gaze.

“Yuuri Katsuki,” said Viktor finally. Yuuri jumped to his feet nervously.

“Y-Yes?” He stammered. Viktor strode over to him in big, confident steps. Yuuri resisted the urge to run away even as Viktor stood close to him, those piercing eyes just inches from his own. Viktor was silent for a long time, staring into Yuuri’s eyes.

Finally, Viktor spoke. “You volunteered. Why?”

Yuuri jumped at the sudden speech. “U-Um, What?” he stammered nervously. Viktor was so close.

Viktor looked Yuuri up and down. “You don’t seem like much. You’re skinny, and from the coal dust on your hands, you must be a miner. What makes some dime-a-dozen miner volunteer for the Hunger Games?” Viktor leaned in closer with narrow eyes, and Yuuri flinched backwards on instinct. Viktor sniffed. “You have the disposition of a frightened child, and you’re shy. So why? Why did you volunteer?”

Yuuri wasn’t sure if he should be more offended or scared. Viktor spat harsh words at him, but they were all true. Viktor was Yuuri’s mentor, though. More importantly, Viktor was Axel’s mentor. If Yuuri wanted to protect Axel, he needed this man’s help.

Yuuri gulped. “F-For Axel,” he stuttered just above a whisper.

Viktor cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

Yuuri took a deep breath and spoke more firmly. “Axel Nishigori is the daughter of my childhood friend. Her mother wanted to volunteer for her, but she has two other daughters. So I volunteered t-to,” Yuuri swallowed. “To protect her.”

Viktor narrowed his eyes, and Yuuri tried not to shake nervously as Viktor stared at him for another long period of time. Finally, though, Viktor broke into a cold smirk and stepped back. Yuuri sighed in relief as he got his personal space back. However, Viktor merely turned around and walked toward the door to the train car. He paused at the door, though, and looked over his shoulder. “Yuuri,” he said, and Yuuri jumped to attention again. Viktor smiled. “With thinking like that? You’ll be dead in the first day.” He then turned and left, the door closing behind him.

Yuuri was shocked by those words. What? What the hell? Viktor had just told him that he would die quickly in the games. His mentor, who knew more than Yuuri ever could about these games, had predicted his quick demise. Yuuri turned and left the dining car out the opposite door that Viktor had taken. He didn’t feel like eating anymore.

The train car Yuuri entered was lined with plush seats facing large televisions scattered throughout the room. Yuuri took a seat on one of the couches and sighed, pressing his face into his hands. What was he supposed to do? The television was just background noise for Yuuri’s own anxious thoughts. Viktor was just like the rumors had said. Cold and ruthless, unwilling to help anybody. Yuuri had really drawn the short straw having that man as a mentor. Why, though? Why had Viktor immediately dismissed him? He hadn’t even asked Yuuri about his strategy, only his motivations! Viktor didn’t know anything! Yuuri felt heated, but the metaphorical cotton in his ears was pulled out when the Reaping Recaps began to play on the televisions. Yuuri looked up in curiosity, wanting to know what he was up against.

The tributes from District 1 probably stood to Yuuri the most out of all of them. The girl was an older women with a stern face, her hair pulled back in a tight bun. “Lilia Baranovskaya,” she was named. At first glance, Yuuri wasn’t overly intimidated by her. Her age alone made her seem like less of a threat, but then Yuuri took a second look and considered her. Yes, she may have been older, but she had a cold, determined look in her eye that sent shudders down Yuuri’s spine. Besides that, she was from District 1. It was common knowledge throughout the districts that the tributes from districts 1, 2, and 4 were Career tributes, or people who trained in special academies in order to eventually volunteer for the games. Lilia hadn’t volunteered, sure, but there was a good chance that she had that same skillset. Yuuri decided to be wary of her.

The boy from District 1 really caught Yuuri’s eye. As soon as the name was drawn, he had aggressively volunteered. He didn’t look like much, having a willowy, petite figure, but Yuuri was quickly proven wrong as the boy, only aged 15, stomped onto the stage and snatched the microphone from the Capitol representative’s hands.

“I am Yuri Plisetsky, and I will be the winner of the 125th Hunger Games,” he spat with venom and determination. “Anyone who gets in my way will have their throat slit.” Lilia eyed the teen curiously, and Yuuri was disturbed to share a name with such an apparently bloodthirsty boy. Even if he was just a kid, Yuri had the malice of any Career tribute, though Yuuri had to wonder why he hadn’t waited until age 18 to volunteer. Regardless, the tributes from District 1 were terrifying.

Two young adults volunteered from District 2, and a teen and a kid were reaped from District 3. Seeing another young child like Axel reaped made Yuuri’s stomach twist. This Quarter Quell was incredibly cruel. The next tribute to really catch Yuuri’s eye, though, was the man who volunteered from District 4. He was tall, broad, and tanned, an obvious fisher. He had quite the muscle mass, though, and from the way he purred into the microphone, he was a sexual type. Yuuri frowned. “Christophe Giacometti.” He was quite attractive. People like him were possibly the most dangerous, though; smooth-talkers could seduce their way into your good graces and then backstab you. Additionally, with his good looks, Christophe was sure to woo the Capitol and attract sponsors. That was bad for Yuuri.

After Christophe, there were no more volunteers with the obvious exception of Yuuri. An elderly lady was reaped from Seven, and the man who was reaped with her stood tall and broad like an ox. “Otabek Altin,” he was named, and the unreadable expression on his face as well as his strong build caught Yuuri’s eye. Something about him seemed less vicious than the tributes from One and Four, though, so Yuuri dismissed the caution he felt toward the man. All of the remaining reaped were teens and adults, some younger, some older. Yuuri was relieved to see that at least no more children or elderly were going into the games. It could have been worse. Or maybe, conversely, it couldn’t have been worse, because most of the tributes were young enough and able-bodied, making them potentially the worst group Yuuri could have faced if he planned on surviving. Except, he didn’t plan on surviving, did he? He planned on Axel seeing this through, not him.

Axel couldn’t do this without Yuuri, though, and Yuuri couldn’t do this without help. Yuuri got up and went out the door he’d come in through. He needed to find Viktor.

Yuuri froze as soon as he stepped into the bar car and saw Viktor sitting there, nursing a glass of whiskey. Yuuri studied the man for a moment. Brash and cruel, yes, but by himself, Viktor wasn’t necessarily the most intimidating. He was taller and broader than Yuuri, sure, but Yuuri himself had quite the muscle mass from years in the mines. Yuuri took a deep breath. He could do this. He could convince Viktor.

The silver haired man looked up at Yuuri and smirked. “Ahh, it’s the little piggy!” Yuuri recoiled at the nickname. Piggy? Was Viktor calling him that because he’d walked in on him eating? “What have you come to me for?” asked Viktor with an amusement that got on Yuuri’s nerves. “Have you come to, hmm, what? Try to convince me you’re not an idiot? Try to persuade me to try and keep a child alive in the Arena?” Yuuri was silent, and Viktor scoffed. “You’re wasting your breath. You knew she didn’t have a chance, and yet you chased her into this anyway. You’re a fool.” Viktor took a drink from his glass.

Yuuri felt heat creeping up to his ears, his blood boiling. “I am _not_ a fool!” he snapped.

Viktor slammed his hands down on the table suddenly, making Yuuri jump, and stood up, striding to Yuuri. This time, unlike earlier, he didn’t stop. He grabbed Yuuri’s wrists in either hand and backed him into the wall of the train car, pinning him with his body. Yuuri’s squirmed and tried to wrench his wrists from Viktor’s grip, but Yuuri had been wrong. The other man was in fact stronger than him.

“What?” Viktor hissed in Yuuri’s face. “Are you just here to prove a point then? Is your ego so weak that you need me to take it all back just so you can feel better about your own idiotic decisions? Don’t make me laugh. You have no chance in that Arena as you are.” Viktor squeezed Yuuri’s wrists, and Yuuri took in a sharp breath, beginning to panic as he was immobilized by the other man. Viktor’s lip curled. “You can’t even handle looking me in the eye without flinching. What makes you think you can handle looking death on the eye, then? What makes you think you’ll be able to do anything when a knife or a sword is pressed against your throat?” Viktor swapped both of Yuuri’s wrists into the grip of one hand above his head, the other hand grasping around Yuuri’s neck.

Yuuri’s heart rate spiked. He stared at Viktor with wide eyes. Was this man going to kill him? He felt that hand squeeze around his throat and choked. However, it was anxiety he was choking on, not the pressure of Viktor’s hand. Viktor was squeezing firmly, but it was as if he was doing so to prove a point, to intimidate Yuuri. The look in Viktor’s eyes was loathing and condescending. It pissed Yuuri off.

Yuuri met Viktor’s cold gaze with a fiery one, staring him in the eye firmly. He relaxed in Viktor’s grip, forcing his tense muscles to loosen until he was no longer fighting back against the other man. Instead, he set his jaw stubbornly and glared. Viktor frowned, searching Yuuri’s face for a moment. He sighed, releasing Yuuri before walking back to his seat and taking a swig from his glass. Yuuri panted, chest heaving as he watched Viktor leave him. Viktor looked indifferent, swirling the amber liquid in his glass, and Yuuri clenched his fists. “You—!”

“Are you going to yell at me now?” Viktor interrupted, looking up at Yuuri almost boredly. “Going to tell me what a cold-hearted bastard I am? Go ahead. Putting on an aggressive face isn’t going to save your life.”

Yuri grit his teeth, taking a deep breath before approaching Viktor’s table and taking a seat across from him. This seemed to surprise the other man, but he outwardly showed it as only an expression of curiosity. “No,” Yuuri finally said, forcing his tone to be level. “I’m going to ask you a question.”

Viktor seemed amused again. “And that is?”

“If I’m so useless, if my chances of survival are so small, then,” Yuuri snatched Viktor’s glass from the table just as the other man reached for it. “Why don’t you _mentor_ me? Why don’t you teach me how to survive?”

Viktor leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms. “Tell me, why should I? What have you done to prove that you’re worth the effort?” he asked. “Stuff your face? Cower? Tell me, what do those things say about you?”

Yuuri looked at his own coal-stained hands for a moment. However, he met Viktor’s gaze again. “Those things mean that I’m afraid. So blindly, incredibly, deathly afraid. I’m scared shitless, and yet here I am, talking to you. Why do you think that is?” Viktor was silent, tapping his lips with one finger. “Because even though I’m afraid of dying and suffering and meeting your eyes, I’m willing to go into that arena with everything I have if it means there’s even a minuscule chance that I can save Axel. So this time, I’m not asking; I’m _demanding_ that you get off your ass and teach me what you know!”

Viktor stared at Yuuri with an unreadable expression for several moments, and the anxiety returned to Yuuri's stomach. Then, Viktor laughed. “Passionate. You have heart.” He reached across the table and snatched his glass back from Yuuri’s hand. “Heart won’t get you anywhere in the Arena.” Yuuri fumed, opening his mouth to snap at Viktor when the other man continued. “However,” Viktor hummed, “heart does win you sponsors.” Viktor took another swig from his glass and finished it before setting it back on the table. He smiled slightly at Yuuri. “And if you can get sponsors, then maybe, just maybe, there’s a minuscule chance that you’ll survive the first day.”

Yuuri furrowed his brows. “Does that mean—?”

“It doesn’t mean anything,” Viktor interrupted, “except that I can help you dazzle the Capitol. You and Axel both, you have a dynamic I can work with. ‘The poor helpless child and her protector.’ The Capitol eats sentimental shit like that up. Help me sell it, and I’ll help you. Deal?” Yuuri looked offensively at the hand outstretched to him. Viktor was just as the rumors said: cold, arrogant, ruthless. However… he was the only chance Yuuri had, so Yuuri took his hand and shook it.

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, I can already hear the cries: "But Lez! Viktor is so out of character! He should be immediately infatuated with Yuuri!" I will start off by saying, I respectfully disagree. In canon, yes, Viktor loves Yuuri from the start. But this isn't the Viktor from canon. This is a Viktor that has suffered the trauma of the Hunger Games at a young age, who has since been ostricized and hated by his home district. Given that, I felt that this portrayal of Viktor was more accurate. Give him time and read the tags, though. Character development is a thing.
> 
> Also, not every tribute will be named, namely because there are not enough girls in this gay ass series. It shouldn't affect anything, since not all the tributes were named in the canon Hunger Games, either.


	3. Eros

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Axel arrive in the Capitol and prepare for the Tribute Parade. Yuuri is shocked by the work of his stylist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back again with another chapter! There's admittedly a lot of smaller Hunger Games references in this one. Things are gonna move fast in the Capitol, I warn you - I'm not actually rewriting a novel. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy reading!

That night, Yuuri didn’t sleep. He shared a bed with Axel at her request, and the little girl snored softly beside Yuuri. Yuuri couldn’t get his mind to turn off, though. Part of it was the anxiety. Knowing his death was coming so fast was not exactly a comforting feeling, and Yuuri had always been weak-minded. He knew he didn’t have the kinds of skills that won the Hunger Games. He tried to map out what he did know: he knew how to mine. That was useless. He knew how to forage for food. That might be helpful, depending on the Arena. He knew how to build a fire, thanks to the cold winters in Twelve. That skill could come in handy. Then, there was everything he’d learned from his father. Yuuri pursed his lips. That was very Arena-dependent, too.

However, what Yuuri completely and sorely lacked were battle skills. He’d never been a fighter, or even been in a fight unless one counted wrestling matches with his sister as a child. If someone came at Yuuri with a weapon, Yuuri wouldn’t know how to defend himself. That scared Yuuri. Even though he didn’t plan on winning, he wanted to make it to the finale with Axel, and then when it was down to them... Yuuri shuddered at the thought. He was a coward, terrified of death, but he knew what he’d have to do. To get that far, though, it would likely come down to a battle with another tribute. That’s what scared Yuuri; if he couldn’t even defend himself, how was he supposed to defend a child? People without battle skills seldom survived the games.

Another branch of Yuuri’s anxiety rested in the nature of their mentor. Yuuri had hoped the rumors about Viktor were wrong, that he was just misunderstood. Yuuri was wrong. Viktor was a cold, callous man. Yuuri rubbed his throat where Viktor had grabbed it earlier. What kind of mentor was he? Of all people, Viktor was the one with the most power to save their lives, and he just... didn’t want to. At first, at least. Yuuri wasn’t sure what exactly he’d done to change the man’s mind. It was like he’d flipped a switch, and Viktor had decided he was worth the entertainment. Entertainment. Yeah, that was a good word to describe it. Yuuri couldn’t imagine Viktor had agreed to help them out of the goodness of his heart. His exact motivations were a mystery, considering how unreadable the man was, but Yuuri guesses that Viktor had decided to amuse himself by acting as a mentor for two people he was certain would die. Yuuri clenched the blanket tightly. That condescending gleam in Viktor’s eye had really set him off earlier, and even now, anger brimmed under the surface of Yuuri’s anxiety. Viktor was their only hope, and he was acting like a smug jackass.

Yuuri tossed and turned in bed, trying not to wake Axel as he did so. All he could hope is that Viktor kept his word.

Yuuri finally managed to catch a few hours of sleep, but when he woke up, he was exhausted. He rubbed his sore eyes and stretched his lethargic muscles. _Shit_ , Yuuri thought. Getting behind on sleep wasn’t a good start to his survival strategy. Yuuri turned to wake Axel, but she wasn’t there. Yuuri looked at a clock and saw that it was already a quarter past 11. He’d really slept in. Yuuri dragged himself out of bed and dressed himself in a comfortable pair of loose pants and a deep blue tunic the Capitol had provided. He left his room barefoot and headed to the dining car.

When Yuuri arrived, there was an entirely new feast spread out before him. This one was of breakfast, pancakes, biscuits served with an assortment of jellies and jams, even bacon and eggs. Yuuri grabbed a plate and began serving himself when he saw Viktor and Axel sitting at one of the tables. Axel giggled wildly at something, and Viktor flashed a charming grin at her. Yuuri couldn’t help but stare at that smile, feeling his heart rate kick up a notch. Viktor really was a beautiful man, despite everything. When Viktor looked up and met Yuuri’s eyes, though, that grin morphed into a smirk.

“Ah, so Sleeping Beauty has finally decided to join us,” said Viktor in that cool tone of his. Yuuri flushed in embarrassment.

“Ah, sorry,” he murmured sheepishly. “Didn’t sleep well.” Yuuri took his plate and took a seat next to Axel and across from Viktor.

Viktor raised an eyebrow and plucked a piece of bacon from Yuuri’s plate. “Food like this is going to make you fat, little piggy,” Viktor said before popping the morsel into his own mouth, and Yuuri shot him a glare.

“That’s kind of the point,” shot back Yuuri, scooting his plate away from Viktor. Viktor laughed.

“Well now, no need to be so defensive. After all, while you were getting your beauty sleep, I was just discussing your strategy for getting sponsors with sweet little Axel here,” Viktor commented, sending the girl a wink that made her giggle. Yuuri tried not to blush at it.

“What is our strategy, then?” asked Yuuri as he began eating his breakfast.

Viktor smirked victoriously, and Yuuri tried not to roll his eyes. “Well, piglet, I was just telling Miss Axel what a doll she is. The Capitol will absolutely adore her. We can use that.” Viktor’s expression turned serious. “We’ll he arriving in the Capitol soon. When we do, you two are to stay joined at the hip. Hold hands, and most importantly, smile and wave. Make the citizens of the Capitol think you’re happy to see them. Act grateful,” Yuuri opened his mouth to argue, but Viktor cut him off, “ _no matter how you actually feel_. This is a television show. Your job is to convince the audience that you’re the picture of innocence. If the audience eats it up, I might just get someone to sponsor the cute little girl and her doe-eyed protector.” Yuuri recoiled. Doe-eyed? Viktor fixed Yuuri with a look. “Is there a problem, piggy? Need I remind you that I don’t have to help you, so if you’d rather go at this on your own, feel free to ignore my advice.”

Yuuri shuffled in his seat, biting down his annoyance. “No,” spat Yuuri finally. “We’ll listen to you... Thank you for your help.” Viktor looked pleased.

The three of them discussed their strategy for a while longer, talking about how to act and present themselves to the Capitol audience. Eventually, though, the train went dark as they went through a tunnel, and Viktor stood. “It’s time,” he said. “Yuuri, hold up Axel by the window. I want both of you to smile and wave to the audience, but show them that you’re together, a team. After the train comes to a stop, you’re both to continue smiling and waving as you’re escorted to the center where you’ll be washed down and styled for the Tribute Parade. Act excited: the Capitol loves nothing more than a tribute that interacts with them.” The train left the tunnel, and Viktor walked away. “Now go.”

Yuuri and Axel did as they were told. They stood at the window, smiling and waving to the Capitol people for so long, Yuuri’s jaw began to hurt. He tried not to gawk at them. He’d heard tales of the strange Capitol fashion, and he’d of course seen Celestino, but compared to these people, the boisterous man’s wardrobe was tame. Yuuri saw everything: dyed skin, strange wigs, body modifications and implants. He saw feathers, whiskers, mutilated ears, tattoos, and piercings. He’d never seen anything like it, but he kept his brightest smile on and continued waving to them. As much as his pride hated following Viktor’s advice, he knew it was in his best interest to listen. He and Axel continued the display as they were escorted from the train and didn’t stop until they were safely inside another building where the crowds could no longer see them. Yuuri put Axel down and rubbed his jaw. He wasn’t used to such happy charades.

The following hours were hellish. He was stripped naked by a team of people in strange Capitol fashion. Before he could even complain or be embarrassed about the nudity, he was hosed down, various hands of strangers rubbing him with a weird smelling soap. Yuuri felt self-conscious as his entire body was touched against his will, but there didn’t seem to be any malicious intent behind it, so he just grit his teeth as he was sprayed down with more water and coated with other funny smelling substances. The worst part was the waxing; every part of his body was covered in hot wax that was then ripped off, taking his body hair with it. The process was painful and by the end of it, Yuuri felt like a plucked chicken. His eyebrows underwent the same treatment, and Yuuri wondered what the Capitol’s strange aversion to hair was when they left only his scalp’s intact. Not that they didn’t do strange things to it, too, coating it in more strange oils and soaps before snipping away at it with scissors.

Finally, Yuuri was ushered into another room, still naked, and told to wait for his stylist. Yuuri felt exposed, covering himself with his hands to the best of his ability. The man he saw in the mirror there was odd and foreign to him. Yuuri barely noticed that the stain of coal had finally come off of his hands.

After a while of shivering in the cool room by himself, the door opened to reveal a woman. As far as Capitol fashion went, she dressed rather tame, clothed in a sharp pantsuit that was far too luxurious to have come from the districts but wasn’t too strange. Her hair was a natural brown color, and the weirdest thing about her was her makeup, with fantastical patterns drawn around her eyes.

“So, you’re my charge, eh?” she spoke in a casual tone, walking a circle around Yuuri as if inspecting him. He felt scrutinized under her gaze, and she apparently noticed because she laughed good-naturedly. “Now, now, no need to be shy. I’m your stylist. My name is Minako Okukawa. Here,” Minako tossed Yuuri a robe. “Put that on if it makes you more comfortable. I’ve seen what I have to work with.”

Yuuri graciously pulled on the robe, tying it around his waist tightly. “So you’re my stylist?” he repeated. “What does that mean?”

“Well, you didn’t think you were just going to show up to the Tribute Parade naked, did you?” she laughed. To be honest, the possibility had realistically been there for Yuuri. It wouldn’t have been the first time stylists for the games had done something like that. “No, no,” said Minako. “I’m here to make sure you go out there as impeccably dressed and beautiful as possible.” She stepped up to Yuuri, grabbing his jaw and tilting his face to either side. “I seem to have gotten lucky this year. You’re a handsome fellow. I can definitely work with you.”

Yuuri felt flustered. Him? Handsome? Right now, he felt like an animal under experimentation. However, Minako waved Yuuri along to another room filled with racks and racks of brightly colored clothing. “When I saw that you’d volunteered,” said Minako, “I was inspired. So few people from District 12 ever do that, you know? That decision was bold and brave, so I wanted to design a costume that mirrored that.”

Yuuri was confused. “But aren’t the costumes in the Tribute Parade always based on the industries of the districts?” he asked.

“Yes, yes, don’t worry about that,” Minako assured before continuing her tangent. “If I could, I would have lit you with synthetic fire and really shocked the audience, but unfortunately, fire has long since been banned for stylists.” Yuuri was secretly grateful for that. “So instead, I decided to focus on a different aspect of coal: diamonds.”

Yuuri tilted his head. “Diamonds? But don’t you know that that’s a myth? You can’t actually compress coal into diamonds.”

Minako waved her hand dismissively. “Nobody in the Capitol knows that. Coal might as well be compressed into pearls, for all they know. So yes, diamonds. Not just that, though.” Minako went to one of the racks and dug through the various hangers. “When I saw it was you, I just knew I had to bring out that natural beauty of yours as much as possible. I want to make you look fierce, stunning, and irresistible.” Yuuri didn’t quite understand what she meant until she pulled out the costume, and his jaw dropped.

“You... You want me to wear _that?_ ” he sputtered in disbelief. Minako grinned.

“You’re going to make the audience love you. They’re going to be so caught up in their desire for you, they’ll forget about every other tribute they see.”

Yuuri shook his head. “There’s no way. I’m nothing special. I’m not particularly handsome or anything like that. How could someone like me possibly enthrall the audience?”

Minako pat Yuuri’s shoulder. “You’re not giving yourself enough credit. You’re a pretty man, and I’m going to make you beautiful.”

Yuuri hadn’t believed Minako. He was always average-looking, and he was certain there was nothing she could do to make him as alluring as she described. However, once the prep team came back, putting Yuuri through more hours of styling torture with makeup, hair, and nails, he was shocked what he saw in the mirror.

“That’s... not me,” he said, stunned. Minako smiled with her hands on her hips.

“That _is_ you. I just brought it out of hiding,” she said, and Yuuri was slack-jawed as he studied himself. His hair had been slicked back in a style that Yuuri never could’ve imagined on himself, and his face... The prep team had replaced his glasses with contacts, and his face was shadowed with makeup in a way that gave him high cheekbones and a chiseled jawline. His eyes stood out the most, though—the plain brown looked almost golden red against the heavy black makeup surrounding them, his eyelids lined with a liquid black and studded with tiny diamonds. His long lashes had been further extended by mascara, his lips painted a deep seductive red, and he looked... he looked...

“Beautiful!” squealed the prep team, excited about their work. Yuuri couldn’t help but nod in agreement. The man in the mirror wasn’t him, but rather an alluring creature from another world. But he moved when Yuuri moved, talked when Yuuri talked, and Yuuri finally had to accept that it was in fact _him_ that looked like that.

“Here,” said Minako, holding up the costume and helping Yuuri slip into it. Before, he couldn’t imagine himself in the getup, but now it seemed to mold against him like a second skin. It was perfectly sized to him, a gorgeous black costume with sections of mesh and real, large diamond crystals angled down his chest almost suggestively. There was a half skirt colored a deep red inside on one hip, and Yuuri was astonished as he looked at himself in the mirror. The creature before him wasn’t a man or woman. It was the very picture of...

“Eros,” Minako spoke, appearing behind Yuuri with a hand on his shoulder. “That’s what I named this design, and it suits you perfectly.” Yuuri couldn’t help but nod in agreement. It was true. With this costume, with this hair and makeup, he was the very embodiment of Eros.

Yuuri was escorted to another room where all the tributes had gathered in their various costumes, and he felt more confident than he ever had in his life. He saw the way every head turned when he entered the room, jaws dropping all around. The feeling in his chest was almost smug as he studied the other tributes. They were each glamorous and beautiful, but none were as stunning as Yuuri, not even Yuri Plisetsky in his angelic white and silver outfit that made him look the very picture of innocence. That innocence was marred by the deadly glare he was giving Yuuri, though.

“Yuuri!” greeted Celestino, wrapping him in a hug. “You look magnificent.”

“Wow!” gasped Axel. She was dressed similarly to Yuuri, but her costume was a bit different. It lacked the mesh and insinuating pattern to its crystals. The skirt was a full one and went to her knees. While she, too, looked beautiful with hints of makeup that brought out her natural features and lovely curls added to her trademark pigtails, she wasn’t striking the way Yuuri was. “They made you beautiful!” she said, gaping.

Yuuri chuckled, his tone dripping with a quality he didn’t recognize from himself. “They made you beautiful, too, Axel!” He said, dropping to a crouch to properly hug the girl.

“You both look positively ravishing,” said a deep voice behind Yuuri. Yuuri’s blood went cold and he stood, turning to face Viktor. The man wore a frown, but not a bad one. Rather, he looked contemplative as he studied Yuuri, a finger pressed to his lips.

“Oh? Do I actually meet your standards for once?” snarked Yuuri with the confidence he usually lacked. He cocked his hip, fixing Viktor with his own smirk and heated glare. “Do try to keep it in your pants, Viktor. There are children here.”

Viktor chuckled quietly. “Don’t worry about me,” he said, eyes twinkling with mirth. “Worry about the audience. They’re going to being fighting each other for a piece of you.” Suddenly, Viktor’s expression went serious. “That is, if you sell it. Yuuri, I want you to hold Axel’s hand as we discussed before, and Axel, do as I told you earlier. Smile and wave, act happy. However, Yuuri,” Viktor strode over to him, standing close. Instead of backing down like he normally would, Yuuri crossed his arms and met Viktor with a fierce gaze. Viktor hummed for a moment, considering Yuuri, before continuing, “I want you to play it a little differently. Instead of trying to act innocent and kind like earlier, I want you to do the opposite. Be aloof, but charming. Smile, but not excessively. Rather, act alluring and flirtatious. Throw some winks, blow some kisses, but sparingly. Make the audience want more. I want them to crave you and your attention. Think you can manage that, piggy?”

Yuuri felt indignant that Viktor would still use that nickname at a time like this. On impulse, Yuuri stepped even closer to Viktor, their chests almost flush against each other. He gazed up at Viktor through heavy eyes and smirked. “Are you still doubting me?” he whispered in a way that almost came out like a purr. He spoke so close to Viktor’s face, their lips were almost touching. “I’ll have you know that I can enthrall the entire audience and you, too.” Yuuri backed off, turning away from Viktor, but in another impulsive moment, he threw the man a wink. “Don’t take your eyes off of me,” he demanded before walking to the District 12 chariot with a sway in his hips. Later, he’d probably be mortified by his actions, but right now? He had never felt so certain that he could entrance the other man.

 _Take this, Viktor Nikiforov_ , he thought.

The chariots rolled in a line into the artificial lights one by one, and Yuuri could hear the audience going wild. Yuuri squeezed Axel’s hand in his own as he steeled himself, holding his chin high. Viktor would be watching. If he could seduce Viktor now, he could seduce the entire audience. As soon as their chariot came into the light, Yuuri put on his most dazzling grin.

To say the audience went crazy was an understatement. There was screaming, loud applause, and a shower of gifts as soon as the Capitol laid eyes on Yuuri. Yuuri caught a rose, blowing a kiss in the general direction it had come from. That entire half of the audience reached to catch his kiss, screaming in delight. Yuuri realized what power he had and shot a wink to the other half of the audience, evoking uproar from them. All eyes were on Yuuri, and he knew it. However, the audience wasn’t who Yuuri really wanted to seduce. He looked straight into the camera and smirked, the expression intended for Viktor. Let Viktor see how alluring Yuuri was. Let that stuck up man want for something he couldn’t have.

The chariot made its circle, and Yuuri continued flashing winks and blowing kisses, but not so often that they ceased to evoke a reaction. He was a temptress, and the desires of the audience were in his control. The chariot finally came to a stop in a line with the others, and Yuuri was so exhilarated, he hardly heard the welcoming speech the President gave. He didn’t even realize it was over until the chariots entered the dark of the loading area again, and Yuuri suddenly snapped out of his glamour, panting with exertion. He looked to Axel, who stared up at him in awe. The other tributes looked at him, too, but their reactions were mixed. There was awe as well as jealousy, and in some cases, there was hatred. Yuuri didn’t care, he decided as he stepped off the chariot. Let them envy him. He had stolen the show.

Yuuri was sauntering over to Viktor to rub it in his face when a rude voice barked from behind him, “Hey! Twelve!” Yuuri turned around to find Yuri Plisetsky glaring daggers at him. The teenager crossed his arms and turned his nose up at Yuuri is disgust. “What do you think that was?” he spat. “I saw your Reaping. You’re nothing more than a plain-faced coal miner.” He stomped over to Yuuri, poking his chest with an accusing finger. “Don’t go getting haughty and thinking that _you_ , of all people, can seduce the Capitol. You’re nothing more than a scrawny pig from the poorest district.” Yuuri wanted to scream because of _course_ , this kid had adopted the same offensive nickname Viktor had for him. The other tributes as well as Capitol guards were watching the altercation carefully, and Yuri seemed to notice, backing off. He shot Yuuri one last glare. “The games don’t need two Yuris. I’ll make sure you’re the first one to die.” With that threat, the teen stormed off. Yuuri stood, petrified at the implication. He now had a Career tribute with a hit out on him. That was undoubtedly _bad_. Suddenly, all the confidence Yuuri’s good looks had given him evaporated away, and he was left with the familiar ice of anxiety in his gut. He was done for.

However, before Yuuri could enter a full blown panic attack, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head to see Viktor... smiling at him? The man looked oddly _proud_ , and Yuuri was baffled by it. “Don’t worry about him,” said Viktor. “Kids like him are all bark and no bite. He’s just jealous because you’re so much more beautiful than him.”

Yuuri felt heat creep to his face. Viktor thought he was… beautiful? Yuuri looked down to his feet and shook his head. Yes, he thought, of course Viktor thought Yuuri looked beautiful. Minako and the prep team had done an amazing job with him. It didn’t mean anything. Brushing off the interaction, Yuuri took Axel’s hand again, and Celestino eagerly announced it was time to go to their apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said, it's rather fast-paced. Viktor's making himself useful, though, and his and Yuuri's dynamic will continue to develop. I already have Chapter 4 drafted, and it'll likely be up tomorrow evening. I only have a rough outline of Chapter 5, though, so expect my update schedule to slow down after that. I hope you all are enjoying the read so far, and please let me know what you think!


	4. Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Axel are sent into training to learn some new skills for the games. Yuuri has some secrets and makes some mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I didn't update yesterday! Something came up. Here's Chapter 4, though! I'm going to work on drafting Chapter 5 today, but it may be a few days before it comes out.

When they arrived at the apartment, Yuuri gaped at the sheer size of it. As the twelfth district, they were assigned the penthouse of the building. Supposedly, all of the apartments were the same, but Yuuri hadn’t imagined they would be so big, especially for two people. Or maybe three people? Surely, Celestino wasn’t staying with them, but what about Viktor? Yuuri eyed their mentor beside him only to find he was staring right back at Yuuri. Yuuri snapped his gaze back to the apartment.

It was sleek and modern. The Capitol style really showed with the décor, all of which was what Yuuri assumed to be high end. The main living area that they’d entered contained two large couches perpendicular to each other, both facing a large, flat television. Connected to the large room was an adjacent area containing a long dining table, already set with a decadent meal not unlike the ones on the train. Celestino and Viktor approached the dining table, bantering about something Yuuri had been too zoned out to listen to. He and Axel looked at each other nervously before moving to join them. They’d been told to change out of their costumes after the Tribute Parade, but both still wore full hair and makeup. Yuuri took a seat next to Axel and across from Viktor.

Celestino and Viktor were already serving themselves, so Yuuri helped Axel get a plate before loading his own. Tonight, he tried a delicious smelling stew with a side of mashed potatoes and mixed vegetables. Like the soups on the train, the stew was rich and flavorful to an almost nauseating degree. Yuuri loved it, but he admittedly missed his mother’s cooking already. His throat felt dry, so he drank some water. The water tasted awful, and Yuuri reflexively spit it out, dropping the glass, which shattered on the floor.

“Oh!” exclaimed Yuuri, kneeling down to help as a servant dressed and red rushed to clean up the mess. She was quick and efficient, accomplishing more than Yuuri did, and as she dusted up the glass, Yuuri said, “Thank you.” She merely nodded and hurried from the room. Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows at her strange reaction to his gratitude.

“She’s an Avox,” spoke Viktor, cutting into his steak. “Don’t expect much talk out of her.” Yuuri tilted his head. Avox? He’d heard the word before, but he couldn’t remember where. Then he remembered. Avoxes… Criminals who had their tongues cut out as punishment. Yuuri felt nauseous. “Here, said Viktor, handing Yuuri another glass full of clear fluid. Yuuri took it and eyed it suspiciously, making Viktor roll his eyes. “It’s water. Notice the shape of the glass? The one you drank from before was an emetic. They always serve those at meals in case you don’t have enough room to taste everything.” Yuuri realized what Viktor meant, but it baffled him. People here would make themselves throw up just to eat more food? That seemed like a slap in the face to someone who’d grown up hungry. Yuuri took a sip of the ice water, and it helped soothe him somewhat.

“So!” said Celestino after everyone had mostly finished their meals. “The Tribute Parade was fantastic! Between that and Yuuri’s volunteering, we’re all anyone is going to be talking about in the Capitol tonight! However, we need to keep that momentum going or it might just fizzle out. Viktor, you mentioned that you’ve decided to help this year.” Yuuri frowned. Did that mean Viktor hadn’t helped the tributes in past years? “Do you have any ideas?”

Viktor took a sip of his wine and licked his lips. Yuuri followed the motion with his eyes. “Well,” said Viktor in a low voice that made Yuuri shiver slightly. “At first, I was going to say we play off Axel’s strengths. She’s a cute, innocent little girl, and nobody, not even the Capitol audience would want to harm someone so young. Using that angle, I was planning to use her and Yuuri in tandem as a child and protector duo in order to attract sponsors. Yuuri, with no skills on his own, could play off of Axel and still manage to garner decent support.” Yuuri grit his teeth at the “no skills” comment, but Viktor wasn’t done. “However,” he said, fixing those piercing blue eyes on Yuuri. “In light of Yuuri’s performance at the Tribute Parade, I’ve been corrected. I thought Yuuri had no charm of his own and would need to rely on Axel’s, but that’s not true. Yuuri has shown us tonight that he is capable of remarkable Eros.”

Yuuri’s jaw dropped. “W-What?” he stammered. “Eros? Me? No! No, no,” he shook his head. “My stylist and prep team did all the work. I didn’t do anything. I have no Eros on my own.”

To Yuuri’s surprise, Viktor smiled. “Yuuri, you’re underestimating yourself. Yes, the costume and makeup brought it out, but—“

“You have incredible Eros!” boomed Celestino. “We couldn’t take our eyes off of you! Everything you did, every smile, every tilt of your hips, it all _oozed_ sensuality!”

Yuuri blushed furiously, though he doubted it was too noticeable under the layers of makeup on his face. “I just… did what felt right,” Yuuri reasoned. “The costume gave me confidence. It’s not because I have Eros!”

Viktor hummed, pointing his fork at Yuuri lazily. “That’s your problem. You lack confidence. If we can build that confidence, you will positively radiate pure Eros. Tell me, Yuuri,” Viktor stood suddenly and leaned across the table. Yuuri squeaked as Viktor grabbed his chin, gently tilting it up. Viktor was gazing at him with half-lidded eyes. “What is it that makes you tick? How did you manage to hide this side of you so well that not even you realized you had it? You took me by surprise, Yuuri. What else are you hiding?” Viktor’s thumb went to stroke Yuuri’s bottom lip. “You have amazing Eros, Yuuri. Can I see more of it soon?”

Yuuri yelped and scrambled away so fast, he fell out of his chair. He heaved deep breaths on the floor, so scarlet-faced he was sure everyone could see it, makeup or not. Viktor tapped his lips with his finger, that heated expression on his face gone and replaced by something calculating. “Hm… So sexual situations don’t bring out that part of him, then. I wonder what we can do to evoke Yuuri’s Eros again?”

“Lay off the boy, Viktor,” laughed Celestino. “You about gave him a heart attack!”

Viktor shrugged and sat back down, looking down at Yuuri who remained on the floor. “Regardless of how you find it, Yuuri, you need to bring back that Eros. It wasn’t just the costume that gave you it. There’s something else, and I want you to dig deep and bring it to light. You have three days of training starting tomorrow, then an individual training day to prepare you for the televised interviews. Your Eros is your ticket to winning over the audience and getting the sponsors you both need to survive, Yuuri. By Interview Day, I need that Eros back, got it?”

Yuuri could only nod weakly and try to fight the blood coursing through him to both his face and unmentionable places. He wasn’t a teenager, and the last thing he needed now was to be aroused by Viktor. After dinner, Yuuri took a very cold shower to wash the hair products and makeup from his body. It was unpleasant, Yuuri having only ever taken baths before, but he could handle cold water. It soothed him, the scent of the fancy Capitol soaps incredibly artificial but calming. Axel asked to sleep with Yuuri again, and the two of them snuggled up in Yuuri’s designated room. Wanting to catch up on the sleep he’d lost the previous night, Yuuri did his best to push Viktor out of his mind. There was no point in getting attached to a man like _that_ , anyway

The next morning, Yuuri and Axel were woken early by Celestino and the stylists. Axel’s stylist led her to her room, while Minako all but tore Yuuri’s night clothes off of him. Yuuri protested that he could dress himself, and Minako threw his training outfit on the bed with an eye roll before leaving the room. Yuuri inspected the clothes. They were just a simple pair of flexible black pants paired with a form-fitting black and grey shirt and boots. Yuuri was relieved that today, at least he’d get to wear something comfortable. He pulled on the clothing, and under the pile were his glasses, which he was grateful to see again. He’d thrown out the contacts he’d worn the night before, having been unsure what to do with them, and Yuuri’s vision wasn’t the best.

Yuuri joined Axel and Celestino for breakfast, but Viktor wasn’t there. When Yuuri asked where their mentor was, Celestino replied, “He went to the training center early. I assumed he wanted to see what they’ve done with it this year.” Yuuri frowned, but ate his food nonetheless. Training, huh? He wondered what that would entail.

After breakfast, Yuuri and Axel, who wore an identical outfit to his own, were led by Celestino downstairs to a car that took them to the training center. As Celestino had said, Viktor was waiting there, that same contemplative expression he often wore on his face. “You’re late,” he said to the three of them, and Celestino panicked and looked at his watch.

“Shit! We are!” exclaimed the loud man, turning heads toward them. Celestino cowered under the negative attention, though, and fell quiet before scurrying off to go do “representative things.”

That left Viktor to lead Yuuri and Axel to the room they’d be training in. Before he let them go in, though, Viktor turned, fixing his eyes on Yuuri. “Okay, you two. Pay close attention. Training is the second most important resource besides sponsors to get you through the games. Several stations will be set up, and it’ll be up to you which ones you choose to pursue. My advice is to learn something new. If you already know how to build a fire, skip that station. And this goes to both of you but to Axel especially: _avoid_ the combat stations. That’s where the Careers will be, and neither of you need to go picking fights or making enemies with them. Yuuri, it wouldn’t hurt you to see the self-defense instructor, but that’s _it_. I want you both to focus on survival skills.” Viktor stepped aside, making a path to the door. “If that’s all clear, then go. And remember: don’t talk to Careers.”

When Yuuri stepped into the training hall, his jaw dropped. The room was the biggest he’d ever seen, and like Viktor had said, it was lined by every station Yuuri could imagine being relevant. The other tributes were all already there, spread out among different stations. There were the obvious combat stations, swordfighting, bow-and-arrow targets, all the like. There was a wrestling mat with an instructor beside it, and Yuuri guessed that was the self-defense station Viktor had mentioned. Beyond those, though, there were so many useful skills being taught. Fire building, like Viktor had said, but also things like plant identification, camouflage, snare and trap setting. When Yuuri’s eyes fell on the fishing station, he was immediately drawn. He knew Viktor had said to learn new things, but Yuuri hadn’t done anything in the way of fishing in such a long time that it might as well be a new skill. “Come on, Axel,” Yuuri said, taking the young girl’s hand. “I’m going to teach you how to fish.”

The two of them settled down with an instructor who taught them the basics of making fishing hooks, weaving nets, carving holes in ice, and about types of bait. Yuuri frowned at the ice part. Ice fishing was a thing, but it was only relevant in very cold climates. Yuuri had done it before, being from the northern edge of District 12, but it wasn’t common practice. Then, it hit Yuuri: if they were teaching them something like that, then that meant the Arena was probably cold. Yuuri shivered. He just hoped it wasn’t a frozen wasteland.

Yuuri picked up the skills quickly and then helped Axel with her attempts. It seemed that she didn’t have a knack for it, though, and asked Yuuri if she could go learn how to build a fire instead. Yuuri nodded, and the girl changed stations, leaving Yuuri alone to practice making hooks.

“You’ve done this before,” said the instructor to Yuuri with a proud smile as he carved a decent hook out of wood. Yuuri nodded but didn’t elaborate. “If you’d like,” continued the instructor, “I can teach you how to tie a better, more efficient net.

Yuuri paused what he was doing. “Would you?”

“Of course!”

The instructor taught Yuuri the more complicated knot and how to make it into netting. It was a bit more difficult than the nets Yuuri was used to making, but he started getting the hang of it. As he was fumbling tying another knot, though, two large, tanned hands snaked around either side of him, finishing the knot for him easily. Yuuri turned around and scrambled backward when he saw Christophe Giacometti’s face mere inches from his own. “A-Ah,” Yuuri stammered. He remembered what Viktor had said about not talking to Careers and kept his eyes down. “Sorry. I’ll go to another station.”

“No, no, don’t leave,” purred Christophe, snaking a hand around Yuuri’s waist to prevent him from doing so. Yuuri was stiff as a board as Christophe guided him back into a seated position, settling beside him a little too closely. Yuuri was panicking. What did he want? “That was quite an entrance you made at the Tribute Parade,” commented Christophe, smiling languidly. “Such Eros. You managed to even put me to shame.”

Yuuri tried to remember Christophe’s costume. It had been something revealing involving gold and scales. “Ah, t-thank you,” Yuuri stammered quietly. “You looked nice as well, Christophe.”

“Oh, please, call me Chris,” insisted Chris with a cat-like grin. “We’re all in the same boat now, so I don’t see any need for formalities.”

The same boat? The Hunger Games? But didn’t Chris volunteer? “R-Right… Chris,” Yuuri said, turning his focus back to his net to try and weed out some of the nerves. Chris took the other end of Yuuri’s net and began knotting as well. Yuuri was in full panic mode, now. What did this Career want with him? Surely it wasn’t to form an alliance, so why approach him at all? Did he have it out for Yuuri like Yuri did?

Chris interrupted Yuuri’s flurry of anxious thoughts by commenting, “This is a rather advanced weave. You much be quite experienced with netting to be taking on something like this so quickly.” Chris dropped the net, leaning over and propping his chin up on his elbow. “Tell me, Yuuri,” the way he said Yuuri’s name sounded like liquid butter, “how does a coal miner from Twelve end up with advanced fishing knowledge?”

Yuuri froze. He’d been caught.

Yuuri had a secret. When Yuuri had turned 12, his father had taken him down to the lake one day with strange poles and nets. He told Yuuri that Toshiya’s father, Yuuri’s grandfather, had been one of the original settlers of the new District 12. However, before that, he had been a poor fisherman in District 4. Now, in Twelve, hunting wild animals was illegal, including fish. It was considered poaching and was punishable by whipping or even death, so Toshiya’s father had had to abandon fishing and learn coal mining like every other member of the district. However, Yuuri’s grandfather had taught what he knew to Toshiya in secret when he had turned 12 and aged into the reaping pool. He’d told him that if he at least had this skill, he’d be better off should he get selected for the games. Toshiya kept his secret knowledge and heritage a secret from Yuuri to avoid causing trouble, but now that Yuuri had turned twelve, he’d decided that it was time he passed on the knowledge to him, just as he had to Mari.

First, during the summer, he secretly taught Yuuri how to fish using poles with hooks and lines down by the lake. Then, they moved on to spear fishing. Then, to nets. When Yuuri had become proficient at all three, Toshiya taught Yuuri how to make his own hooks, pole, spears, and nets within the safer confines of their home. When winter came, he taught Yuuri how to cut holes in the ice and fish in the frozen lake, and with that, Yuuri’s education form his father was complete. However, Toshiya warned, Yuuri must keep these skills a secret. If he was convicted of poaching, he’d be beaten or worse. Yuuri listened, and consequently, he seldom used what he learned in fear of punishment. However, when times got tough and his and Yuuko’s families were starving, Yuuri would fish in secret. His parents always chastised him when they found out, but he felt a sense of pride in his ability to fill his family’s bellies for a night.

Yuuri remembered those says down by the lake with his father now as Chris searched his face for an answer. Yuuri looked back at his hands, finishing the knot he was on. “I learned from the instructor,” he half-lied before standing. “I think I might try another station,” murmured Yuuri.

“Wait,” Chris said, and Yuuri looked at him in surprise when the man’s tone actually sounded genuine for once. The sandy-haired man gestured to some bait. “Let me teach you about different kinds of bait you can find. No matter how you learned to fish, I doubt you know as much as me. I’m sure you’ve realized from the stations that the Arena is going to be cold. Let me teach you about bait you can find in the winter.”

Yuuri eyed Chris cautiously. He could hear Viktor’s warnings not to engage with the Careers echoing in his mind, but Viktor had been wrong before. He was wrong about Yuuri. Besides, Chris looked surprisingly… human at this moment. Yuuri took a seat by Chris again and allowed the man from the fishing district to walk him through different kinds of bait and how to find it. Chris also suggested that as soon as the gong rang, Yuuri find a knife or some other blade he could use to cut ice and carve poles and hooks with. Yuuri nodded and listened to Chris’s advice, and even when Chris grabbed his butt at the end of the training day, Yuuri found he’d grown fond of the man.

Viktor, however, had not.

“Yuuri,” Viktor said over dinner, which up until that point had been silent. Judging by the look on Viktor’s face, Yuuri guessed this wasn’t going to be praise. “How exactly did you learn such advanced fishing techniques in a day?”

Yuuri froze. Viktor had been watching, then. “Chris taught me,” Yuuri half-lied once again, keeping his eyes on his plate.

Viktor raised an eyebrow. “’Chris’? Meaning Christophe Giacometti? _The Career?_ ”

“Yes,” Yuuri spat defensively, stabbing a bit of potato with his fork. “He’s quite nice.”

“He’s a snake,” Viktor hissed. “I can spot a smooth-talking backstabber from a mile away, and he’s one of them. What did I tell you about talking to the Careers?”

Yuuri took his time chewing, deflating a bit. Right… Chris was a Career. His good looks, charm, and easy way of talking made it so easy to forget, but Yuuri had gotten the same uneasy feeling from Chris when he’d watched the Reaping Recaps. Viktor was probably right. Chris was probably just trying to win him over so he could betray him later.

Yuuri swallowed. “Right… I understand. I won’t talk to him again,” Yuuri agreed, still not meeting Viktor’s eye. Viktor searched Yuuri’s face before letting out a sigh.

“And tomorrow, try to learn a _new_ skill. It was obvious you already knew how to fish.” Yuuri didn’t argue this time, just giving a shallow nod.

The next day in training, Yuuri ignored Chris’s friendly wave from the fishing station and decided to try his hand at snares. When he was 11, he had managed that basic one he’d learned from watching Viktor’s games, but he knew nothing about trapping besides that. The instructor was eager to have a student and taught Yuuri a few basic snares that even he could manage. Yuuri was trying his hand at a type of leg snare when suddenly, a foot came down, breaking Yuuri’s swivel. He gaped and looked up to find the dagger-like eyes of Yuri Plisetsky glaring down at him. Remembering Viktor’s warning about not making enemies, Yuuri simply kept his eyes down and got to work making a new swivel.

“Hey, piggy! Are you deaf or just stupid?” the voice was right next to Yuuri’s ear now, and he turned on instinct to find himself face-to-face with Yuri. The blond sneered. “Oh? Finally going to acknowledge me? I don’t know where you think you get off, ignoring someone like me.” Yuri stomped on Yuuri’s snare again. Yuuri was annoyed by the teenager’s antics, but said nothing and keep working. “Hey! Pig! I’m talking to you!” goaded Yuri. “You think you’re so much better than me now because your stylist gave you a fancy outfit? Let me tell you right now: you’re _nothing_. You’re a sniveling little piglet that volunteered for the games out of pure _weakness_. Don’t you dare try and put yourself in the same league as me!”

Yuuri was starting to get irritated. “I want nothing to do with you,” he said quietly, trying to keep his temper under control.

“What was that?” spat Yuri. He took a handful of Yuuri’s hair and pulled his head to face him. “You actually have the audacity to call _me_ the nuisance? Why don’t you speak up and say it to my face like a man, then?”

Yuuri winced at having his hair yanked. However, he was losing his patience. He grabbed the teen’s wrist with a strong grip, making the other let go. “I. Want. Nothing. To. Do. With. You,” Yuuri said again, louder this time and enunciating each word separately.

Yuri wrenched his wrist from Yuuri’s grasp. “Oh? You want me to leave you alone?” spat Yuri in Yuuri’s face, making the latter cringe. “Fine! Fight me, then. If you win, I’ll leave you be to set your stupid little traps.” Yuri stomped on Yuuri’s trap again, digging his heel into the ground.

Yuuri froze. He knew he should just ignore Yuuri. It was a taunt meant to make him angry and goad him on. He should be bigger than that. However, Yuuri found himself feeling more than annoyed at this point. He just wanted to be left alone to practice his snares. In a moment of rashness, Yuuri snapped, “Fine!” Before he knew it, he had followed Yuri to one of the combat stations.

It was only when the wooden sword was placed in Yuuri’s hands that he realized he’d made a mistake. He knew nothing about swordfighting, and this kid had probably been doing it since he could toddle! However, Yuuri couldn’t exactly back out now. A crowd had gathered to watch the fight, and Yuuri couldn’t just chicken out in front of all the other tributes. Yuuri took a deep breath and held up the sword. Okay. He’d seen tributes do this in the games before. It didn’t look that hard. He was sure he could manage it. When the instructor blew the whistle, Yuuri swung, and Yuri expertly twisted his sword around Yuuri’s, wrenching the wooden blade from Yuuri’s hand and disarming him instantly. Then, Yuri swung his own sword, hitting Yuuri hard in the side. Yuuri doubled over, wheezing, and Yuri kicked him in the chest, sending Yuuri toppling to the ground. There was a chorus of laughter from the various Career tributes watching the fight, and Yuri stepped on Yuuri’s face, squishing it to the ground with a sneer.

“You’re _nothing_ ,” hissed Yuri before throwing his sword down and sauntering away. Before he left altogether, though, he looked over his shoulder and said, “I _will_ make sure you die first.”

The crowd around the station dissipated as Yuuri laid on the ground, recovering both physically and emotionally. He already knew he’d made a big mistake in accepting Yuri’s challenge, but how big of a mistake was it? Possibly huge, as the Gamemakers watched him curiously from their balcony above the training hall.

The sword instructor helped Yuuri up and offered to teach him, but Yuuri decided he was done for the day and trudged in defeat to the exit of the training hall. However, as soon as he opened the door, he came face to face with Viktor, who looked royally pissed. _Oh no_ , Yuuri thought.

“What,” spoke Viktor coldly, “the hell was that?”

Yuuri rubbed his own arm sheepishly. “I just… He wouldn’t leave me alone, and—“

“So you tried to fight a _Career?_ ” shouted Viktor, startling Yuuri. He’d never heard Viktor raise his voice before.

Yuuri felt defensive, though. “He provoked me!” he snapped back.

Suddenly, Viktor shoved Yuuri’s chest, and Yuuri barely managed to keep from toppling over. “Like this?” sneered Viktor, getting in Yuuri’s face and pushing him again. “Did he provoke you like this? Huh? Can’t handle a little push?” Yuuri fumed, but deep down inside, he knew Viktor was right. Yuuri had made a stupid mistake, so he stayed silent. Viktor searched his face before snapping, “Congratulations! You’ve just made yourself an easy target.” Viktor turned heel and stormed out of the training center.

That night, Viktor didn’t show up to dinner. Yuuri’s stomach twisted with dread.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, Yuuri. Ya done fucked up.
> 
> That's 2 days of training down! We've got 1 more, the evaluation, private training, interviews, and then it's time for the games! I've been asked how Viktor will stay a relevant character once the games begin, but don't worry. I have my plans hehe.
> 
> Please let me know what you think, and I'll try to have Chapter 5 up soon!


	5. Risks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri meets amicable tributes on his last day of training. During his evaluation before the Gamemakers, though, Yuuri decides to take a risk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had quite a bit of writing inspiration yesterday and was able to whip out this chapter and Chapter 6. Chapter 7 is outlined, too, and I plan on drafting it today. Also, my state's Stay At Home order has been extended, so I'll have lots of writing time through the end of April! Yayyy. Anyway, enjoy this slightly shorter chapter!

The next day, Yuuri was exhausted. He’d tossed and turned all night, anxious about his altercation with Viktor. What if Viktor decided not to help him anymore because of what he’d done? Without Viktor, Yuuri and, more importantly, Axel were as good as dead. Yuuri looked across the training hall to the edible plants station, where Axel was sorting berries, and felt a knot of guilt in his gut. Yuuri had acted rashly, and that mistake may have been that girl’s death sentence.

Yuuri turned his attention back to the instructor as she demonstrated an efficient way to break free of a choke hold. He had decided to take his mentor’s advice and learn self-defense. The instructor put Yuuri in the same hold so he could practice breaking free, and after a few tries, he got it. The rest of the training session continued like that with Yuuri learning basic maneuvers for dodging ranged weapons, blocking blows with objects, and of course, breaking free from various hand-to-hand combat holds. Yuuri felt he was getting a decent grasp of the skills, but when Yuuri saw Yuri approaching the station along with a red-haired female Career, Yuuri decided that running away was better than fighting with the tribute again. Yuuri left the self-defense station, ignoring the mocking laughter behind him.

Yuuri considered what station to try next. This was his last day of training, so he wanted to get the most out of it that he could. Yuuri scanned the training hall, considering his options, when something caught his eye. Over by the practice dummies, where Christophe and two other Careers were hacking away with various weapons, there was a rack of weapons. Among them was, of all things, a pickaxe. Yuuri stared at the tool, puzzled. Why was a pickaxe among the weapons? Then, Yuuri realized: it was for _him_. Just as the Capitol had provided tridents for District 4, the pickaxe was there because it was something Yuuri would know how to use. Up until this moment, Yuuri had considered mining a useless skill in the Arena, but maybe it wasn’t. A good pickaxe in the right hands could easily be used to kill another tribute. Yuuri instinctively began to approach the station, curious what combat skills he might have without even realizing it.

However, after a few steps, Yuuri paused. Viktor’s instructions rang in his head like an alarm bell, explicitly telling him _not_ to go to the combat stations. Yuuri bit his bottom lip, looking at the ground. He didn’t know where Viktor was or if he was even watching, but… the least Yuuri could do at this point was actually listen to his mentor’s advice for once. Turning his back on the practice dummies, Yuuri approached the fire building station instead. He knew how to build a basic fire from wood and flint, but if the Arena was going to be cold, it would probably be smart to learn alternatives.

There was one other tribute at the fire building station. If Yuuri remembered right, the scrawny boy was from District 3, but Yuuri couldn’t remember his name. However, as Yuuri settled down with the instructor to learn a variety of fire starting techniques, he felt the heavy weight of eyes on him. He looked over his shoulder, and the boy from District 3 was staring at him with a strange expression on his face. Considering the boy wasn’t a Career or even particularly threatening, Yuuri decided to dismiss it and focused instead on trying to get a fire started using a stick and piece of wood. He had to have the placement of his hands corrected a few times, but Yuuri finally started to see smoke rising from his efforts and felt pleased.

Yuuri felt a presence behind him and turned his head again. The District 3 Tribute was right behind him now, looking over his shoulder with an expression of awe on his face. “Wow!” exclaimed the boy, a tanned blond but with a build almost opposite to Chris. “I’ve been trying to get mine started for an hour, but you got it just like that! You’re amazing!”

Yuuri blinked in surprise. The boy looked weirdly excited as well as overly friendly, almost like a puppy. Yuuri considered ignoring him, but he wasn’t a Career, and it wasn’t like Viktor had told him not to talk to anyone. Yuuri shrugged at the boy’s praises and got back to work, determined to actually get a fire going. “The instructor helped me,” he said quietly.

“You volunteered for that little girl, right?” the boy asked suddenly, and Yuuri almost dropped his stick. Was it that obvious that Axel was the reason?

“Y-Yeah,” Yuuri stammered. “She’s the daughter of my close friend.”

“Wow!” exclaimed the boy again, eyes practically sparkling as he stared at Yuuri. “You’re so brave! I wish I was like you!”

Yuuri felt incredibly uncomfortable. “Right,” he murmured dismissively, hoping the District 3 tribute would go away on his own.

That plan didn’t work at all. “Your name’s Yuuri Katsuki, right? I memorized your name as soon as you volunteered. I’m Minami!” The boy’s words were like a spitfire of excitement, as if he was meeting his idol. “You were so cool at the Tribute Parade, too! Everyone was staring at you! Ha, you should’ve seen the looks on the Career Tributes’ faces when you showed them up like that! They looked like—“

“Minami,” interrupted Yuuri. He couldn’t take much more of the whirlwind of admiration, and he especially didn’t want to hear about how the Careers had it out for him. However, Yuuri was at a loss of what to say, so he just held out his stick to the blond. “Here, I’ll help you get a fire started,” he decided to say. He almost regretted it as soon as he said it, but Minami practically had stars in his eyes. Yuuri spent the next twenty minutes practicing his technique with Minami until, finally, they both got small fires going. The instructor was pleased with their work and suggested they each go learn another skill. Yuuri got up and decided on the edible plant station just in case the Arena’s flora was vastly different to that of District 12.

As Yuuri started walking away, Minami piped up again. “Yuuri!” Yuuri turned, and the boy looked nervous, fidgeting with his hands. “Thank you for helping me. Be careful, though. I overheard some of the Career tributes talking about you. They think you’re too nice and see it as a weakness. But,” Minami smiled brightly, “I don’t think that’s true at all! Your kindness is sure to get you lots of Allies!”

Yuuri felt his blood turn into ice. “Thanks,” he said to the boy shortly before hurrying away. He’d known that he was seen as weak after losing to Yuri the previous day, but hearing it confirmed that the other tributes were picking apart his actions like that terrified him. Viktor was right; he’d painted a big red target on himself. He could practically imagine the words “Kill me!” hanging above his head.

Yuuri settled down at the edible plants station, but he hardly heard what the instructor said. When it was Yuuri’s turn to identify the plants, he mindlessly sorted them without much care for if he was doing it right. As he placed a black berry into the “edible” pile, a voice quipped, “Now, now, have you been paying any attention? That’s nightlock. It’d kill you in a minute!” Yuuri turned to see the speaker was a tanned boy with dark hair from District 11.

“Ah,” Yuuri mumbled, feeling stupid. He knew very well what nightlock was, and yet he’d really been so zoned out he’d classified it as edible. Putting it in the “poisonous” pile, Yuuri nodded to the other tribute. “Thanks.”

The boy gave a cheeky smile. “I’m Phichit. You’re Yuuri, right? My mentor wouldn’t stop talking about you after the Tribute Parade. You really stole the show!” Yuuri stiffened. He didn’t want to hear about the Tribute Parade or his own damnation any more. However, Phichit seemed to pick up on his body language and changed the topic. “You sorted all those plants wrong, by the way. Would you like some help?” Yuuri eyed the other boy apprehensively. District 11 was much like District 12, both being poor, outlying districts. That being said, Phichit was far from a Career tribute, and unlike Minami, Phichit seemed to be very receptive to social cues. Yuuri quietly nodded, and Phichit grinned. The tan boy went through every plant they’d been given to sort and described their uses. He was knowledgeable, and Yuuri made sure to actually pay attention to what he said. While Yuuri recognized some of the plants he was presented with like the nightlock berries, many were foreign to him. Phichit seemed to have intimate knowledge of them all.

Deep down, Yuuri knew that Phichit was possibly lying about which plants were poisonous in order to kill Yuuri, but somehow, Yuuri got the feeling the boy was trustworthy. He was charismatic and charming, but not in the snake-like way that Chris was. Rather, Phichit immediately took to Yuuri as if they’d been lifelong friends, and by the time they got through every plant in the pile, he’d gotten Yuuri to come out of his shell. Yuuri felt a sense of deep comradery with the other boy. They joked and laughed together like old pals as they left the training center at the end of the day. As Phichit got in his separate car to return to the apartments, he called out to Yuuri. “Hey! Good luck out there! I’ve heard about your mentor; he’s a piece of work, apparently. You’re a smart man, though. I believe in you!”

Yuuri felt warm as he smiled at the District 11 tribute. “Thank you,” he said gratefully. “The best of luck to you, too, Phichit,” he said sincerely, and Phichit gave him an award-winning grin before disappearing into the car. Yuuri joined Axel in their own vehicle, and he told her about his day in training. “Did you meet anyone nice?” he asked the young girl.

“Yeah,” Axel said, grinning. “The girl from Eleven, Sara. She’s super nice. She helped me sort the berries so I’d know which ones not to eat.” Apparently, both District 12 tributes had had positive experiences with District 11 today. Yuuri hoped that Minami was right and that friendliness could turn into an alliance in the Arena.

That night, Viktor made an appearance for dinner. To Yuuri’s relief, he discussed the following day’s evaluation strategy with Celestino, but his tone felt far away and cold. Viktor never addressed Yuuri directly, and Yuuri focused on his food rather than provoking the victor any further than he already had. However, Yuuri felt those cool blue eyes on him several times throughout the meal. He wondered what that meant.

The next day, Yuuri and Axel were escorted back to the training center by Viktor and Celestino. Today would be different, though. Instead of training together like the past three days, the tributes would individually be called into the training hall to present their skills before the Gamemakers. After three days of evaluation, they’d receive scores between 1 and 12, determining their estimated likelihood of survival. Celestino explained all of this, rambling on about how incredibly crucial these scores were for gaining sponsors. Yuuri swallowed the lump in his throat. Such high stakes made him incredibly nervous.

“Listen,” Viktor interjected after Celestino had finished his explanation of how evaluations worked. He fixed Yuuri with that same unreadable gaze he always did. “You all learned a variety of skills during training. I told you to focus on things you didn’t already know. Now’s the time to do the opposite. Whatever you feel you’re best at, whether that be fishing or foraging or whatever, that’s what you want to show the Gamemakers. Now’s not the time to go attempting a new station, so stay away from the swords, _Yuuri_.” The way Viktor hissed Yuuri’s name made him shrink back. Viktor crossed his arms. “Axel, you may not have known how to do much before training, so just do whatever you feel you learned best. Now go, and for god’s sake, do your best.” With that, Viktor left the room, abandoning Yuuri and Axel with Celestino.

Celestino led Yuuri and Axel to a room they hadn’t been to before and ushered them inside, wishing them good luck. The rest of the tributes were already there, waiting around on benches. Phichit and Sara waved to the District 12 tributes, so Yuuri and Axel gravitated to a seat next to them. The four of them chatted amicably. Yuuri hadn’t met Sara before, but she was a kind, friendly woman who, like Phichit, took an instant liking to Yuuri. Perhaps a little too much of a liking, though, as she was a little more tactile than Yuuri was comfortable with. Yuuri knew that she was probably just projecting feelings onto him because they were likely all about to die, but he knew the games were no time for romance.

Viktor lingered at the back of Yuuri’s mind, and he shook that thought away.

However, when the first tribute, Lilia, got called to her demonstration, Yuuri froze as Yuri Plisetsky stomped over to him. What did the Career want now? The blond stood in front of the four tributes, scanning them with a disgusted look in his eye. Then, he set his sights on Yuuri and sneered. “You think making a couple friends is going to help you, pig?” he spat. “Well guess what? ‘Being nice’ isn’t a skill, and it’s not going to gain you any points with the Gamemakers. You really think you’re going to get a decent score with what meager abilities you have? You think they’re going to be amazed by your ability to make a fish hook? Good luck!” The sarcasm dripping from Yuri’s tone was acidic. “You’re going to get a pathetically low score, and then you’re going to die. Everyone hates that stupid weak shtick of yours. If someone else doesn’t kill you as soon as the gong rings, I will.” Yuri’s name was called, and he shot Yuuri one last glare. “You’re going to fail, just as you did when you fought me. Get ready, pig.” With that, the blond Career stormed out of the room.

Yuuri sat, shocked, with his mouth hanging agape. “Hey, don’t listen to him,” Phichit tried to assure. “He’s just jealous because the Capitol likes you more than him. You’ll do just fine.” Yuuri nodded weakly to his new friend, but there was a considerable weight in his gut.

Yuri had made an important point that Yuuri hadn’t considered until now: how the scores would be assigned. The tributes who made high scores, the 9’s and 10’s, were always the Careers with battle skills. Yuuri had never in all his life seen a forager from an outlying district score above a 7 or 8. That was a best case scenario, too; much more likely, Yuuri’s ability to construct a half-decent fishing pole wouldn’t score him higher than a 6. A 6 out of 12 was laughable to the Capitol audience. Who would want to sponsor someone who had essentially scored a 50% likelihood of survival? It was a joke!

Sara was called, then Phichit, and Yuuri’s head was swimming. Phichit frowned, placing a solid hand on Yuuri’s shoulder before he left. “It’ll be okay, Yuuri,” the boy assured before leaving for his own evaluation. That left Yuuri alone with Axel. The little girl seemed nervous, but not as panicked as Yuuri, and she grabbed his hand. Yuuri felt pathetic, having a child comfort him. Axel got called, and Yuuri was left alone.

It was only when Yuuri truly had silence that the gears in his head began to turn. Yuri was right; survival skills practically guaranteed a low score. Was that all Yuuri had, though? Yuuri remembered the previous day when he’d seen the pickaxe on the weapons rack and swallowed. Viktor’s warnings not to try anything new rang loud and clear in his head, but what choice did he have? If he messed up, he’d get a lower score, but that was guaranteed if he didn’t take the risk.

When Yuuri was called to the training hall, he felt cold anxiety coil around his guts. The Gamemakers looked at him with disinterest, having seen the stations he’d attended during training. They probably were expecting yet another forager or trapper or something along those lines from him. Yuuri’s palms were sweaty, and he wiped them on his pants as he approached the weapons rack, feeling the interest of the Gamemakers pique above him as he grabbed the unused pickaxe and approached the training dummies. He took a shaky breath. He had one shot at this before he lost the Gamemakers’ attentions altogether.

Yuuri closed his eyes and counted to ten, taking deep breaths in the way his mother had taught him to calm his nerves. Then, he opened his eyes and swung the pickaxe. Having spent 6 years in the mines, the tool was like an extension of Yuuri’s body as it whizzed through the air, right into the target-painted heart of a dummy. He propped a foot against the dummy for leverage to pull the pickaxe out before whirling around, this time sinking its sharpened tip into another dummy’s head. Yuuri was impressed by his own aim, the years of picking away for hours and hours a day making the motions as natural as breathing to Yuuri. He peaked at the Gamemakers out the corner of his eyes, and they were practically leaning forward in their seats as they watched him. Yuuri felt a spike of adrenaline in him and swung the pickaxe into yet another dummy, and another, over and over. He even made a show of downing one, before hacking away at it over and over until it was littered with holes and bleeding cotton onto the floor. Yuuri panted, looking up at the Gamemakers, who seemed to be jotting down notes.

“You’re dismissed,” one, presumably the Head Gamemaker, said. Yuuri nodded, putting the pickaxe back on the weapons rack before exiting the training hall the way he had every other day. Electricity was buzzing through him, and Yuuri’s hands shook with it as he approached Axel, Phichit, and Sara.

“How’d it go?” Phichit asked, concern shining in his eyes. Yuuri appreciated the other boy’s care for him.

“I… Good. I think,” Yuuri stammered, still high on nerves and endorphins. Phichit smiled at his friend’s answer and patted him on the back. They went on to chat about what they’d done before the Gamemakers. Phichit had shown off his apparently impressive climbing skills, and Sara had sorted the various plants so quickly, the Gamemakers had apparently had to blink to make sure they’d seen correctly. Axel was shy as she told the group about how she’d really liked camouflage when she’d learned it, so she’d painted herself to look like a tree. Yuuri noticed the bits of mud under her fingernails and leaves in her hair despite the fact that she’d apparently washed up afterwards. He picked out a twig from her pigtails and congratulated her. However, Yuuri didn’t take the torch and describe what he’d done. Rather, he stayed quiet, and Phichit raised an eyebrow at him. Before he could interrogate Yuuri, though, they were called to their separate cars to go back to their apartments.

Over dinner, Yuuri stayed similarly quiet. He felt Viktor’s eyes on him as he asked what skills they’d chosen to demonstrate, but Yuuri refused to answer. Inside, Yuuri was shaking like a leaf, the adrenaline having worn off. He’d taken a big risk. Would it be worth it, though? What if the Gamemakers thought impaling dummies with a pickaxe was a useless skill? What if Yuuri scored low? Worst of all, what if Viktor found out why? Yuuri could have pulled a 6 or 7 with his fishing knowledge. If he scored any lower than that, he’d have to own up to his own mistakes again. What if Viktor refused to help them anymore because of Yuuri’s repeated lack of obedience?

Yuuri didn’t sleep again, staring at the ceiling as Axel snored softly beside him. This anxiety was choking him, and he’d have to endure it for three days until the scores came out. What was he going to do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri, Yuuri, Yuuri. Will you ever learn?
> 
> It was nice writing some actual friendly characters for this chapter. Yuuri's an impulsive little shit, though, so we'll see where that gets him. I'm excited for the next chapter! I won't spoil anything, but it's a breath of fresh air.
> 
> Anyway, please let me know what you think! I should have Chapter 6 up tomorrow, so keep an eye out for that! :-)


	6. Children's Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Axel have three days of freedom before their evaluation scores are announced. They spend these days together in a rooftop garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been speed writing. I've got through Chapter 8 drafted already!
> 
> Also, Ahhh (that's the name they used) linked me some wonderful fanart they did of Yuuri and Axel! You can find it [here!](https://comiks.tumblr.com/post/615422176915587072) I almost cried at receiving fanart, so thank you very much, Ahhh :'-)
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is a breath of fresh air. I hope you enjoy it!

Yuuri was woken the next day by Axel shaking him roughly. Yuuri shot up, looking around in fear. “What? What’s wrong? Did something happen?” he asked Axel.

However, she just giggled. “Yuuri! It’s already 11:12! C’mon, get up! I want to play a game!” Yuuri instantly calmed down. He smiled, ruffling the girl’s hair.

“Wow, I slept in late again, didn’t I?” he said. “What game do you want to play?”

Axel had a mischievous look in her eye. “I’ll tell you when we get there!” she snickered.

Yuuri’s raised an eyebrow. “Get where?”

“Get out of bed, and I’ll show you!”

Yuuri shooed Axel from the room for a minute so he could get dressed, throwing on a flowy top and loose pants. Games with the triplets always required loose clothes. He met Axel outside his door, and she took his hand and led him out of the apartment. Yuuri didn’t recognize the path they were taking and asked her, “Axel, are you sure we’re allowed to go this way?”

The girl nodded. “I asked the lady in the red clothes earlier if we could go outside, and she took me to where we’re going.”

Yuuri shuddered at the fact that Axel had asked the Avox servant, probably not even realizing what an Avox was. However, he allowed Axel to lead him up a set of stairs until she opened a door, and—“Oh, wow,” Yuuri gasped softly. Axel had taken Yuuri to a rooftop garden. It was beautiful, filled with flourishing flowers and greenery and the gentle song of wind chimes in the air. “You said the lady in red took you here?” he asked again.

“Yep! She didn’t say anything. She just showed me the way then left.” Yuuri figured the Avox hadn’t wanted to get herself into trouble, so if she had taken Axel up here, then it was likely okay for the two of them to be there. Yuuri closed the door behind them and walked into the garden. The scent of the flowers was abnormally strong, and Yuuri figured they were probably modified in some way to have more potent fragrances. Despite that, though, the place was undoubtedly lovely. Yuuri wouldn’t mind spending some time here with Axel.

Yuuri crouched down to Axel’s eye level and asked, “So, what game did you want to play?”

Axel lit up. “It’s a game Mommy showed us! One of us hides while the other counts to twenty, and after that, the person counting has to find the person hiding. When they find them, they have to chase them until they catch them, and then they take turns counting. I used to play it with Lutz and Loop all the time!” she cheerily explained.

Yuuri paused. Axel wanted to play Hide and Seek? It was a simple, well-known game in Twelve. Yuuri had played it with Yuuko and Takeshi all the time when they were kids. Yuuri smiled somewhat bitterly at the fond memories before clearing his mind of them. There was no point in getting sad and nostalgic about it now. Axel wanted to play a game that reminded her of her sisters, and Yuuri could grant her that. “I used to play that game with your parents, too. Do you want to count or hide first?” he asked.

“Hide!” Axel giggled.

The two of them played Hide and Seek for what must have been hours. Axel was particularly good at hiding, and Yuuri remembered that she’d said she loved the camouflage station at the training center. That showed for sure, as the girl expertly concealed herself in bushes and trees, burying herself within the leaves. Yuuri always feigned slowness when he found her, allowing the little girl to run away from him for a while before easily catching up to her. When it was Yuuri’s turn to hide, Axel always found him quickly, and the two would run around the garden for a while as Axel tried to catch the much faster but also clumsier man.

Yuuri was running away from Axel, laughing freely into the air when he saw Viktor leaning against the wall by the door, watching them. Yuuri froze, and Axel tagged him. “I caught you!” she proudly proclaimed. “It’s your turn now!”

Yuuri looked nervously between her and Viktor with just his eyes, but Viktor spoke up. “Oh, don’t stop on my account,” he said, waving a hand. “It’s quite refreshing to see people enjoying themselves.”

Yuuri cocked an eyebrow at the strange comment, but Axel urged Yuuri to hurry up and count, so Yuuri covered his eyes. “One… Two…” The two of them continued their game of Hide and Seek until sunset, only stopping to quickly snag lunch from the dining room in the early afternoon and again at dinnertime. They ate both meals on the roof, using a spare blanket to sit on for their picnic. They tapped their glasses of juice together as the sunset gave way to stars, and Yuuri told Axel about every constellation he could name. “That one,” he said, “is the Big Dipper! There’s a smaller one, too! Do you see it?” Yuuri’s mother used to sit out with him and Mari at night and do the same thing, pointing out the various patterns in the sky and giving them names that had been passed down through generations of stargazers.

After dessert, Yuuri carried sleepy Axel to bed, and for the first time since their ordeal had begun, he slept deeply and peacefully.

Yuuri woke early the next day, the bright morning light seeping through his window. He looked beside him to find Axel was gone, but he had a guess as to where she would be. Dressing in another comfortable outfit, Yuuri snagged a pastry from the dining room breakfast before jogging upstairs to the roof.

When Yuuri got there, though, he was shocked at what he found. On one of the stone pathways in the garden, Axel had drawn a path of numbered squares in chalk, and playing Hopscotch with her was none other than Viktor. Yuuri’s jaw dropped as Viktor threw back his head and laughed loudly, wearing the most genuine smile Yuuri had ever seen on him. Yuuri’s heart leapt at the sight, and he instinctively prepared to close the door and run far away when Viktor locked eyes with him and grinned.

“Come on, Yuuri!” Viktor shouted, but in a kind tone rather than the angry one Yuuri had experienced two days before. “Axel and I are playing Hopscotch! Come join us!”

Yuuri was hesitant, but when Axel smiled at him expectantly, he couldn’t say no. Yuuri nervously crept over to the Hopscotch squares and joined the game, tossing a pebble to determine which square he’d have to hop to. However, it didn’t take long for Yuuri’s apprehension to melt away, and he laughed along with Viktor and Axel, especially when one of them lost their balance and toppled over. Viktor and Yuuri extended the Hopscotch path down the entire length of the pathway, giving themselves more of a challenge as they competed to see who could hop on one foot the farthest. Viktor grinned dazzlingly at Yuuri as he declared that he’d easily beat Yuuri, and Yuuri grinned right back as Axel cheered them on. The three of them played in the garden until sunset again, and this time Viktor joined them as they looked up at the stars, pointing out patterns that Yuuri himself didn’t know.

Yuuri looked at Viktor curiously. He couldn’t help but wonder who had taught Viktor about the stars. As long as Yuuri had known about him, Viktor had always been alone. Who was Viktor’s family? What had happened to them? Yuuri wanted to ask, but between the presence of Axel and the atmosphere of pleasantness that surrounded the three of them that day, Yuuri couldn’t bring himself to ask any potentially dangerous questions. Instead, he laid back until his eyes fluttered shut, waking shortly after to find Viktor watching him with a strange expression on his face. The two of them took Axel to bed.

Yuuri sat at his bedside, stroking Axel’s hair as Viktor tucked her in. The silver haired man stood and moved to leave the room when Yuuri found himself calling out, “Viktor.” Viktor turned to face him, a soft but unreadable look on his face. Yuuri gulped, flushing a bit. “Goodnight,” he said finally.

Viktor gave Yuuri the smallest of smiles. “Goodnight, Yuuri,” he said before quietly leaving and shutting the door.

The next day, Axel was still asleep when Yuuri woke up. It was early, just after sunrise, and when Yuuri tried to rouse the young girl, she groaned and said she was too tired to play. Yuuri accepted that and decided to leave her be, getting dressed before going to the dining room and serving himself a plate of breakfast. Yuuri no longer was gorging himself like he had the first day, but he’d still managed to gain a little bit of weight. He certainly wasn’t plump, but his body was softer now, with gentle curves around his hips instead of angular, protruding bones. He could imagine how proud his mother would be to see him like this on television, but the thought made Yuuri stop eating. That was right—the evaluation scores. They’d be showing them tonight. The familiar ice of anxiety that Yuuri had managed to forget about for two days creeped back in, and Yuuri left the rest of his plate untouched. He needed some fresh air.

When Yuuri got to the rooftop, he found Viktor there, facing away from him. However, instead of being intimidated into fleeing like he had been previously, Yuuri walked over to Viktor’s side. The older man was looking at a large, fully bloomed white rose. The scent of it was strong, almost nauseatingly so, but Yuuri peered closely at it with Viktor.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Viktor said after a long silence. “Roses like these don’t grow back in Twelve, not even in Victor’s Village. The only time I see such unnaturally lovely roses are when I have to come to the Capitol or a fan sends me a bouquet. I still get those, even all these years later.” Viktor went quiet again.

Yuuri found himself asking, “What’s your favorite flower?”

Viktor seemed to think about it for a moment. “Evening primrose,” he finally said. “The yellow ones. They grow wild in Twelve, and there’s a house in Victor’s Village with a whole bunch of them in the garden.” He paused. “Did you know that Victor’s Village is the only part of Twelve they didn’t destroy after the Second Rebellion? The houses there are still the original ones from 125 years ago. It makes the place feel haunted, considering the rest of Twelve is essentially a graveyard.” Yuuri wasn’t sure how to respond to this. Talking about the Second Rebellion always felt dangerous, and Yuuri was certain they were under constant surveillance here. However, Viktor’s voice was so soft that the ring of the wind chimes mostly covered what he said, anyway. Viktor changed the topic, though, asking, “What’s your favorite flower?”

Yuuri didn’t even have to debate it. “Dandelions.”

Viktor looked amused. “Dandelions? Aren’t they weeds?”

Yuuri huffed. “Maybe to people like you. To me, dandelions were always the first sign of springtime. When the dandelions grew, I knew the hard winter was over, and I’d soon be able to feed my family again.” Yuuri hummed. “I guess, to me, dandelions mean ‘better times are coming.’”

Viktor seemed to consider this a moment. “That’s really nice,” he said at last. The two of them walked through the garden, discussing the different flowers and which ones they’d seen wild versions of back home. There were no primroses or dandelions here, though, and before Yuuri realized what he was doing, he found himself grabbing Viktor’s hand because Viktor, despite everything he was, was from home. Yuuri worried Viktor would pull his hand away in disgust. He didn’t.

They stayed up on the rooftop until the heat of the sun signified it was late afternoon. Wordlessly, Viktor and Yuuri let go of each other’s hands and went inside, back to reality where the Gamemakers’ scores were waiting.

Celestino arrived at the apartment, and he, Yuuri, Axel, and Viktor sat on the two couches in the living area. The program announcing the scores would be starting any minute, and Yuuri could feel his palms becoming clammy again. Spending the morning with Viktor in the garden had been a nice reprieve from the stress of the games, but now it was coming back to hit Yuuri like a train.

“Remember, you both did your best,” assured Celestino. “No matter what the scores are, you both did everything you could to earn them. Be proud of your efforts!” Yuuri wished that was the case, but his rash decision before his evaluation might have been about to bite him. Yuuri still hadn’t told anybody what he’d done. Meanwhile, Viktor was in one of his contemplative silences.

Finally, the program began. The show’s host, Antony Bruté, explained how the evaluations worked and the scoring system. Then, the scores began. In all of Hunger Games history, only two people had apparently ever scored an 11 or above, so when Yuri Plisetsky and Lilia Baranovskaya both pulled 10s, it was equal parts expected and intimidating. The tributes from Two, Jean Jacques Leroy and Isabella Yang, pulled a 9 and a 10 respectively, as one would anticipate from Career Tributes. That boy from Three, Minami, only managed a 5, and to Yuuri’s surprise, Chris only pulled a 9. Yuuri had expected a 10 from the Career who had shown his skills with a trident in practice, so he had to wonder what Chris had done to dock himself a point. His female counterpart, Mila Babicheva, pulled a 9 as well.

After the Career tributes, the scores were mostly low. The man from Seven, Otabek Altin, broke the pattern with a score of 10, but nobody scored above an 8 after that. Phichit managed a 7, and Sara pulled a 6. Then, it was down to District 12. As the males’ scores were announced first, Yuuri curled in on himself in anticipation and fear. This was it, the moment that determined the course of everything else.

Yuuri barely registered the ‘9’ that flashed on the screen.

Celestino burst into cheers, patting Yuuri on the back and clapping. He congratulated Yuuri on his high score excitedly, enthusing about how “everyone would be talking about them!” However, Viktor was silent, and Yuuri still hadn’t processed his own score, even after Axel’s score of 5 was announced, and the program ended.

Yuuri snapped out of his haze when Axel grabbed his hand, looking disheartened. He turned to face her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Hey,” he said, “that’s really good! Camouflage usually doesn’t score that high, so to make a 5, yours must have been amazing!” Yuuri told her. She sniffled a little but offered him a smile.

However, their moment was broken by Viktor. “Yuuri, what did you do?” he asked suddenly. Yuuri froze, knowing he’d been caught.

“What do you mean?” he asked, trying to feign innocence.

Viktor wasn’t stupid, though. “Yuuri, survival skills never score above an 8 in evaluation. Not even the most exquisitely crafted fishing pole could have gotten you a 9. So, tell me: _what did you do?_ ”

Yuuri sighed. “I… I took out some dummies with a pickaxe,” he admitted at last. He hurriedly tried to defend himself. “But I knew how to use a pickaxe, and I know you said to focus on survival skills, but—“ Yuuri realized he probably should omit the fact that Yuri had once again provoked him into rash disobedience. “I… just wanted a higher score,” Yuuri said instead, looking down at his feet. Viktor was silent. The mentor stood and left the room.

Yuuri stared at where Viktor had disappeared, fear once again coiling in his gut. Celestino waved a hand, saying, “Don’t worry about him. He’d just upset that you did so well without his help, Yuuri,” the boisterous Capitol representative assured again. “Now! Let’s have ourselves a grand dinner to celebrate both of your excellent scores!” Yuuri didn’t feel like eating. In fact, he felt like throwing up, but he sat at the table with Axel and Celestino anyway. Viktor’s empty chair staring at him from across the table weighed heavily on his conscience, and Yuuri swallowed, his throat incredibly dry in a way no amount of water could fix.

Volunteering, making a grand entrance at the Tribute Parade, a high score, _none_ of it meant anything without Viktor. Those things only helped Yuuri and Axel if it got them sponsors, and if Viktor refused to help them anymore? If he refused to accept those sponsorships and assist them during the games? All of it was worthless. Viktor had the power to just let Yuuri and Axel die.

Yuuri excused himself to bed early as Celestino and Axel cheerily shared dessert. Every time Yuuri thought he’d taken a step in the right direction, it always shook down boulders that sent him toppling backwards. Just when Yuuri had thought he was getting somewhere with Viktor, he’d quite possibly ruined it for him and Axel both. Yuuri felt selfish, like he was the scum of the Earth. Why had he let Yuri get to him? Why had he disobeyed Viktor again and again, fully knowing what the consequence might be? He was supposed to be doing this for Axel, and yet over and over, he’d only acted for himself. He’d acted in fear and anger and everything the games evoked within him, but he was supposed to be acting out of love for Axel and Yuuko. If Yuuri couldn’t control himself and focus on why he was here, then his sacrifice for them was completely pointless!

Yuuri curled up on his side in bed, burying himself in blankets so that nobody could hear him cry. He hated being so entirely helpless.

Suddenly, there was a soft knock at the door. “Yuuri?” came Axel’s muffled voice, and Yuuri hurriedly wiped his face.

“C-Come in,” he stuttered.

Axel slipped inside, closing the door softly behind her. She crawled up onto the bed, sneaking under the blankets with Yuuri, and curled up facing his back. “You’re not happy about your score,” she said.

Yuuri sniffled and cursed himself for doing so in front of Axel. “Of course I am,” he assured her. “It’s just…”

“Viktor,” she finished the sentence for him. She grabbed the back of Yuuri’s shirt in her fingers and made a fist. “Viktor makes you sad a lot.”

Yuuri was surprised to hear that from her. After all, she was only 6, so that kind of perception was impressive. “Yeah,” Yuuri admitted after a moment of deliberation, “he does.”

“Viktor is kind of mean to you,” she said. “He’s always so nice to me, but he’s not nice to you. He yelled at you.” Axel buried her face in Yuuri’s shirt. “You’re so nice, Yuuri, so why doesn’t Viktor act nicer to you?”

Yuuri didn’t have a concrete answer for her. He was trying to figure out the man himself. “I don’t think he likes me very much,” Yuuri said, though to say that was a simplification was majorly understating it.

“No, he does,” Axel said with certainty.

Yuuri frowned. “How do you know?” he asked.

“Because he smiles at you a lot,” she said. “Like today, when you were holding hands with him on the roof.”

Yuuri felt his face burn. She had seen that? “I didn’t know you came up. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you were smiling, too,” she answered.

Yuuri went quiet. He turned around in bed to face her. “You’re really smart, you know that?” he told her.

Axel smiled. “I know.”

Yuuri ruffled the girl’s hair. “Your mom would be so proud if she could see you right now.” Axel giggled, and Yuuri reached to turn off the lamp. “Let’s go to sleep. We have our individual training tomorrow, so we’d better get some rest.”

“Okay, Yuuri.”

Yuuri laid awake awhile longer, staring at the ceiling as Axel snuggled up to his side and began to softly snore. The girl really was smart; she’d somehow managed to make Yuuri feel better despite everything. Listening to her rhythmic breathing, Yuuri was slowly lulled to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternate title for this chapter: Viktor Not Being an Asshole for 5 Whole Minutes
> 
> Also, did I make a Julius Caesar joke in my Hunger Games AU? Yeah. You're welcome. Props to anyone who caught my various Hunger Games references, too. Y'all earn a cookie.
> 
> Also, yeah, Axel is probably too smart for a 6-year-old, but whatever. I don't talk to kids, so I wouldn't know. That whole last bit with Axel was added in when I was proofreading this chapter, anyway, so it wasn't even originally going to happen. However, leaving Yuuri depressed and anxious at the end of every chapter is getting old, so I decided to throw in some fluff.
> 
> Welp, this chapter was basically a nice commercial break from the stress and angst that is this fic, so next time, back to angst! Please let me know what you think in the meantime, and I'll most likely have Chapter 7 up tomorrow! :-)


	7. The Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri goes to the roof for his individual training and finally gets some answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Chapter 7! We're getting close to the games, now, so everyone prepare your tissues or possibly mop buckets because shit's about to get sad.

Viktor didn’t show up for breakfast the next day, either. The anxiety was choking Yuuri so much that it was difficult to get the bites of pancakes down his throat, but he forced himself to eat. He had a long day ahead of him.

“Yuuri, after breakfast, you’ll be going to the roof for your individual training,” Celestino told him. “I’ll be meeting you up there. We’re just going to go over your approach for the interview and how to answer the kinds of questions Antony might ask you. It’s nothing too scary.” Yuuri nodded, washing down his meal with orange juice. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to spending the day with Celestino, but he wasn’t going to complain about it, either. The Capitol escort could be a bit overwhelming and insensitive without realizing it at times, but he was good-natured and friendly and always had the best of intentions. Yuuri tuned out while Celestino gave Axel her instructions on where to go after breakfast, musing about the upcoming interviews.

Yuuri had seen the interviews on television every year. The charismatic Antony Bruté would interview and banter with each tribute one by one, usually asking questions that pertained to their individual qualities. Career tributes were usually asked about their high evaluation scores and motivations for volunteering, while more charming tributes were asked about their love lives. Antony didn’t seem like a bad guy to Yuuri; he never asked questions meant to throw off the tributes or make them look bad. Rather, he tried his best to play to their strengths and brighten their images as much as possible to the audience. While Yuuri was still nervous about being interviewed live in front of the entire nation, he wasn’t particularly worried about being thrown a curveball or being asked something he couldn’t answer.

As soon as Yuuri finished his meal, he returned to his bedroom to quickly change clothes. If he was going to be on the rooftop again, he could afford to wear a more comfortable and weather-suited outfit than the sweater and pants he’d originally thrown on. Once dressed, Yuuri took the now familiar route to the rooftop garden.

When Yuuri got there, however, it wasn’t Celestino waiting for him. Viktor stood there expectantly, arms crossed and tapping his foot. “It’s about time,” he snarked. “Even the Victory Tour trains haven’t kept me waiting as long as you have.”

Yuuri stared at Viktor nervously. “Where’s Celestino?” he asked.

“Change of plans,” Viktor said. “I was originally going to work with Axel today, but Celestino and I decided that you need more work than she does to prepare you for your interview. Consequently, I am now coaching you instead. I had the Avox bring us up some chairs, so take a seat. This is going to be a long day.”

Yuuri gulped and nervously scuttled to one of the plush, white chairs that had been placed by the garden. The good news was that Viktor didn’t seem mad. The bad news was that he didn’t seem happy, either. While working with Celestino hadn’t been appealing, Yuuri would’ve taken that in a heartbeat over a day under Viktor’s harsh scrutiny.

Speaking of scrutiny, Viktor eyed Yuuri like livestock he was preparing to sell. He walked up to Yuuri, grabbed his chin, and tilted his face to either side. “Minako was right about you,” he mumbled, but Yuuri wasn’t sure what he meant by that. Viktor took a seat in the chair across from Yuuri and fixed him with an intense gaze. “Alright,” he began. “As we discussed at dinner after the Tribute Parade, your approach is Eros. Your job is to charm and win over the audience with that sexuality you managed to entice them with during the parade. We’ll talk more about that later, but first I want to run you through some questions you will most likely be asked.” Viktor pulled a set of notecards from the pocket of his pants and flipped through them. “These are questions previous tributes have been commonly asked. Because you volunteered from an outlying district and because you made such an impression with your Eros, you’ll most likely be asked questions pertaining to that. You may be asked about your evaluation score, too, but Antony will likely try to focus on your charm.” Viktor pulled out a few cards from the stack before putting the rest back in his pocket. “I’m going to ask you a few questions. Answer them the way you normally would, and we’ll work from there. First question: why did you volunteer at the Reaping?”

Viktor looked at Yuuri expectantly, and Yuuri squirmed under that gaze. “U-Uh, I…” he stammered before nervously clearing his throat. “Axel is the daughter of my close childhood friends. She’s like family to me, so I wanted to protect her.”

Viktor seemed to consider his response before making an unimpressed ‘hmph’ sound and shuffling the notecards. “Next question: is there a girl you like back home?”

Yuuri squeaked. “W-What?”

Viktor sighed. “Yuuri, your approach is all about sexuality. Antony is almost definitely going to ask you about your love life.”

Yuuri gaped like a fish. “U-Um! I… I don’t know. I don’t really have a girl, o-or anything like that—“

Viktor dropped the notecards to the ground and stood up, looming over Yuuri with his hands on his hips. “Yuuri,” he bit out the name like it tasted bad, “responses like those are going to get you nowhere. At best, you seem nice, but you’re completely forgettable and uninteresting.”

Yuuri flushed. “You told me to answer honestly!” he shot back.

Viktor huffed and sat back down. “Yes, I did, but I didn’t think someone with that level of Eros would be a virgin.” Yuuri went beat red and gaped, but before he could respond, Viktor continued. “We’re going to have to modify your answers a bit to make you seem more interesting. Since both of those questions are almost definitely going to be asked, we’ll knock out two birds with one stone. Yuuri, the reason you volunteered for Axel is because you’re in love with her mother.”

Yuuri’s jaw dropped. “ _What?_ ”

Viktor pinched the bridge of his nose. “It doesn’t matter if it’s true; nobody is going to care about your Eros if there isn’t an interesting story behind it. Portraying you as the sexy playboy trying to win a married woman’s heart by volunteering for her daughter is going to make the audience captivated by you. Some will love you, some will hate you, but all of them will _remember you_. Understand?”

Yuuri shrunk back and nodded meekly. “Y-Yes,” he murmured. “I guess that makes sense.” The idea of lying about his relationship with Yuuko in front of the nation didn’t sit well with Yuuri, but Viktor was right; it was an interesting story. Viktor picked the notecards back up, and they went through several other questions and how Yuuri should answer them. Viktor wanted Yuuri to play off his training score mysteriously, and Yuuri felt like he could manage that.

However, the team hit another bump in the road when Viktor told Yuuri to try answering the questions again, but this time the way he’d be doing it during his interview: with Eros. “Yuuri, tell me,” said Viktor, playing the role of Antony, “is there a special girl back home?”

“Y-Yes,” Yuuri stammered, crossing his legs and trying his best to pretend he was sexy. “Her name is Yuuko, and she’s—“

“Stop.”

Yuuri faltered. “W-What?”

Viktor looked unimpressed. “Seriously? That’s how you’re going to act on live television? Stammering and puffing your chest out like a little virgin pretending he’s big and bad?” Yuuri flushed again at the ‘virgin’ comment, recoiling defensively.

“W-Well, what am I supposed to do? You told me to pretend I’m sexy, so—“

“I did _not_ tell you to pretend!” Viktor interrupted. “I told you to show me your Eros. You have it already, so there’s no make-believe about it. You just need to bring it back out.”

Yuuri sighed in annoyance and tried again. “Yes,” he said, voice dripping with strain. “Yuuko is—“

“Now you sound like you’re about to strangle me. Real sexy.”

“Well, what do you want from me?” Yuuri snapped. “I’m trying my best here!”

“ _This_ is your best?” Viktor sneered. “If this is all you have to give me, then I’ll go back inside right now. Don’t waste my time!”

Yuuri felt panic rise up his throat. No! He didn’t want to risk losing Viktor _again._ “I-I’ll try again. Just tell me what to do,” Yuuri said.

Viktor sat back in his chair. “Pretend you’re a playboy who’s come into town to seduce the most beautiful woman. In fact, pretend it’s me. Seduce me with your masculine charm.”

Yuuri took a deep breath before locking eyes with Viktor. He sat up straight, striking a pose one would read as cocky, and answered the question with his lie about Yuuko again, not taking his eyes off of Viktor the entire time. At the end, he relaxed again and looked at Viktor expectantly.

Viktor had his brow furrowed. “It’s wrong,” he said, sounding irritated.

Yuuri gaped. “What do you _mean_ it’s wrong? I did exactly what you said!”

“Yes, but it’s not what you did during the Tribute Parade,” Viktor snapped. “You had Eros then; what you have now is just cocky and off-putting. Nobody is going to be enamored by _that._ ”

Yuuri jumped to his feet in frustration. “Well, I don’t know what else you want me to do! I’m trying my best to embody Eros, and it’s never enough for you! What do you want?!”

Viktor stood as well, getting in Yuuri’s face with anger of his own. “I want you to bring back the Eros you had that night! I know you can manage it, so the fact that you’re fucking it up now just tells me you’re not trying hard enough!”

Yuuri fumed. “’Not trying hard enough’? I’ve done _nothing_ but try for you! No matter what I do, no matter what I say, you’re always pissed at me! Have you considered that the problem may be _you?_ Have you considered that maybe, just maybe, the reason I can’t show you my Eros is because I’m fucking terrified that you’re going to shoot me down again? How am I supposed to feel confident and sexy in front of a mentor that looks at me like a failed experiment?” Yuuri panted, having blown off the steam of his anger, but still feeling heated. “I’m trying my best to save Axel’s life,” Yuuri said in a calmer but still furious tone. “You’re supposed to help me do that, but I can’t read you at all. Are you trying to help us or not? Just tell me already so I can decide what to make of you.”

Viktor was silent, staring at Yuuri with an unreadable expression. Yuuri continued panting after his outburst until he calmed down. Then, he curled in on himself. He’d just yelled at Viktor. If there was any chance that Viktor was going to abandon him now, this was probably the time. However, Viktor just stood there, staring at him with that look on his face. Yuuri wanted to scream at him to say something already, but he stayed silent.

Finally, Viktor spoke. “Yuuri, sit down,” he commanded, but his tone was softer than Yuuri had expected after that. “I need to tell you a story.” Yuuri took his seat along with Viktor, and the two men stared at each other for a while. Viktor began again, “I won my games 13 years ago. I was only 15, but when I got here, I dazzled the Capitol.” Yuuri remembered. Viktor had been radiant, quick-witted, and charming. Nobody could have forgotten about him, even before the games had officially started. “Part of it was my good looks and charisma,” Viktor said, “but not all of it. Do you know what I did that helped me win the games before I even stepped foot in the Arena?”

Yuuri shook his head. Viktor smirked.

“My mentor, Yakov, was an old man. He passed a while ago from alcohol poisoning, but he was a good soul. His advice was sound: focus on the survival skills, don’t pick fights with the Careers, and don’t try to risk everything during evaluation. Sound familiar? Well, guess what I did?” Viktor paused. “On my first day of training, I challenged a Career to a wrestling match. And guess what? I won. I had an unfair advantage, as that Career had been a lot like Yuri Plisetsky in build, but what I did made sure that the Gamemakers remembered me when I went in for evaluation. Yakov was _furious_. He yelled at me so loudly, I’m sure the District 1 tributes heard it from their apartment on the first floor. I pissed Yakov off in a way no one else could. I followed his advice and learned the survival skills, yes, but I also tried my hand at the combat stations. I talked to the Careers and even befriended one who taught me a bit about swordfighting. He was a lot like Chris, a smooth-talking backstabber, but so was I. I acted cheeky and arrogant, and I charmed my way into good repertoire with the Careers. They even offered to let me join their pack, but I refused. Yakov told me not to do anything flashy during my evaluation, and instead I hacked off so many dummies’ head with a sword, I earned myself a 10. You should’ve seen the look on Yakov’s face when I proudly announced what I’d done. He was so red, he looked like the tomatoes they serve in the pasta here.” Viktor laughed, and Yuuri gaped. He couldn’t believe was Viktor was saying, but it explained a lot. Viktor had indeed scored a 10, and nobody had known how, at least until now.

“Anyway,” Viktor continued, “I’m sure the reason Yakov fought so hard to keep me alive in the Arena was so he could strangle me himself. However, he secretly adored me. He admired my boldness and hearty spirit in a way he’d never admit out loud.” Viktor seemed to reflect on the man with fondness, but he suddenly turned his attention to Yuuri. “Yuuri, do you know why I’m telling you this?” Yuuri shook his head, and Viktor sighed. “Because you think that I’m going to give up on you. It’s obvious; you’re scared shitless of me. You think that if you piss me off, I’m going to just up and throw you to the wolves. But Yuuri,” Viktor leaned forward, looking intensely into Yuuri’s eyes, “don’t you understand? That rebellious spirit of yours is exactly the reason I _don’t_ give up on you. I don’t abandon you precisely because you don’t listen to me.” Viktor suddenly smiled, and Yuuri was taken aback by it as well as his next words. “You have a defiant, incredibly strong spirit. You do what you think is right, no matter what anybody tells you.” Viktor sat back, looking content. “That, more than anything else, is how you’re going to survive the games.”

Yuuri was speechless. What was Viktor saying? He had just told Yuuri that the reason he continued to support him, the reason he didn’t just give up on him and Axel… was _because_ Yuuri was disobedient? Yuuri’s knack for pissing off Viktor was what kept Viktor on his side? Yuuri couldn’t believe it. This entire time, he’d been walking on eggshells around Viktor, and he had felt like an idiot each time he stepped too hard and broke one. In reality, though, he was doing himself a favor by listening to his gut instinct. He was winning Viktor over by taking risks, and now, because of Yuuri’s own rashness, Viktor was… _fond_ of him. At least, that’s what Yuuri thought Viktor was trying to say with his story about Yakov.

Yuuri had thought he was making Viktor hate him. In reality, he was just like Viktor.

Yuuri didn’t say anything, and neither did Viktor. In fact, they sat there for so long that it was Celestino calling them in for lunch that broke the silence. However, said silence wasn’t uncomfortable. For the first time since this ordeal had begun, Yuuri felt like he understood Viktor. They stared at each other for all those hours, but instead of ridiculed, Yuuri felt acknowledged by his mentor. This entire time, Yuuri had thought Viktor was untouchable; in truth, Viktor had been ready to meet Yuuri where he was.

Viktor gave Yuuri the rest of the day off, and Yuuri spent it with Axel in the garden. They didn’t play any games this time, just walking around and chatting about light topics. The sun beamed down on them brightly, and Yuuri felt warm.

Yuuri was woken the next day by his prep team. Before he could even register what was happening, Yuuri was swept into the bathroom and aggressively bathed. He nearly cried with relief when the team decided that they could shave his body instead of waxing it again, but the entire beauty process was still torturous. When Minako arrived, Yuuri was having his hair scrubbed at for the umpteenth time, and she tossed him a bagel. He accepted the food gratefully, ignoring his prep team’s complaints about his clean teeth as he bit into the pastry. He allowed the team to scrub and shave and pluck away at him until he once again felt like a naked chicken, but Minako’s presence made the ordeal more comfortable this time around. She chatted with Yuuri as his nails were filed to perfection, making quips and joking about the ridiculousness of the beauty process. The prep team seemed insulted, so Yuuri made sure to thank them individually for their efforts when they were done painting his nails a bright red with silver crystals. They seemed pleased.

Minako ushered the prep team from the room, leaving her alone with Yuuri. She passed him a towel, which he gratefully wrapped himself with, and got down to business. “Yuuri,” she said, “we’re doing to do your makeup a lot like last time. Your hair will be the same, too, but instead of a costume, you’ll be wearing a tuxedo. Don’t worry, though—I made the outfit myself, so it should be as comfortable as formal attire can be. I designed the tux to flatter your assets as well as bring back the audience’s memory of the Eros costume. Like before, we’re going to do your makeup first, but I’ll be back shortly with the tux.” With that, Minako opened the door, and the prep team barged back in, this time armed with makeup brushes and mascara. Yuuri watched the process in the mirror as the team expertly shadowed his cheek bones to highlight his facial structure and filled in his brows to make them more intense. The eye look was less heavy than it had been the first time with hints of black, red, and silver at the corners of his eyes instead of a full blown smoky eye. His eyes were still lined with black liquid, though, and studded with tiny crystals. Rather than a solid lipstick, his lips were tinted red and glossed, and the mascara was applied last. Yuuri, once again, was stunned as he stared at himself while the team slicked his hair back with gel. He was just as alluring as he had been the first time—in fact, even more so. The lack of heavy-handedness made his appearance more enticing than forcefully sexual, and Yuuri was incredibly impressed. This time, when he thanked the prep team, he meant it wholeheartedly.

The prep team scurried away again, and Minako appeared in the doorway with a hanger carrying a large protective bag. She unzipped it, and Yuuri’s jaw dropped at the costume. It was just as beautiful as Eros and quite similar, featuring black pants and a matching jacket studded with diamonds in a similar pattern to the original. It lacked the mesh this time, though, instead being worn over a white collared shirt with a deep red vest and bow tie. “It’s magnificent,” Yuuri told her. He was deeply amazed by how Minako had managed to turn the Eros costume into a tuxedo, but he was unsurprised at the same time considering her skill.

Minako led Yuuri back into the bedroom and helped him put on the tux without getting makeup on it. She told him not to look into the mirror until it was fully on. She laced the black shoes for him and straightened his bowtie before giving him a once over and smiling proudly. “That’s it. You’re perfect,” she declared before gesturing to the full length mirror. Yuuri looked at himself and softly gasped. Just like the original Eros, the outfit was fitted to him perfectly and looked absolutely breathtaking with the hair and makeup.

“Minako,” he breathed. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

The brunette looked smug, hands on her hips. “No, _you’re_ beautiful. Now, Yuuri, show me your Eros.” Yuuri thought about what Viktor said and struck a masculine pose, radiating the confidence of a playboy. However, Minako shook her head. “Yuuri, what are you doing?” she asked, frowning.

Yuuri turned meek. “Viktor told me I should try to embody a playboy attempting to seduce the most beautiful woman in town.”

Minako smirked. “Viktor’s an idiot,” she said bluntly. “Yuuri, do you know why I designed Eros the way I did for you?” Yuuri thought about it and shook his head. “Eros is a mixture of masculine and feminine elements. Features such as the half skirt were supposed to hint at femininity. The reason why is because as soon as I saw your face, I knew that your Eros wasn’t that of a playboy.”

Yuuri was confused. “What do you mean?”

Minako laughed. “Yuuri, you’re the beautiful woman who seduces the playboy. Your Eros is that of a woman.”

Yuuri felt his face heat up in embarrassment. “Minako!” he exclaimed. “I’m not—“

“Yuuri,” she warned, “don’t you dare start dissing feminine Eros. If anything, a seductress is infinitely more powerful than a playboy. Now, Yuuri, I want you to show me your Eros again, but this time, try to imagine you’re a beautiful woman.”

Yuuri fought down his embarrassment and considered what Minako said. Now that he thought back on the Tribute Parade, she was right—he hadn’t felt like a playboy at all. Yuuri closed his eyes and imagined it. Yes, he was the most beautiful woman in town. He was a heartbreaker who strung along men and seduced the playboy only to throw him aside like everyone else. Yuuri channeled that mental image into himself. He tilted his hips, adjusted his posture, and carried himself in a completely different way before opening his eyes and looking up at Minako with a half-lidded gaze.

Minako grinned and clapped her hands. “There it is! There’s still something missing, but that’s it! Just keep channeling that feminine Eros, Yuuri. Play with it, shape it, and make it your own.”

Yuuri nodded, and there was a knock at his bedroom door. “Yuuri,” Viktor called out as he cracked open the door. “It’s time to— _oh._ ” Those blue eyes went wide, the silvery eyebrows shooting upward. “Oh,” he repeated. “Yuuri… You look—“

“Magnificent, we know,” Minako interrupted, ushering Yuuri past Viktor and out the door. “We have a show to get to, though, so let’s go!”

Yuuri peaked over his shoulder at Viktor as he was hurried away to find the other man was staring after him with that same awe-stricken expression. Yuuri felt his cheeks warm and tried to ignore the way his heart thumped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually drew some art of Yuuri for this chapter! I had such a clear mental image of his interview look that I decided to draw it. You can find it [here!](https://noname-chan.tumblr.com/post/615579137657192448/me-drawing-art-for-my-own-trash-fanfic-its-more) I know my art is shitty lol. The proportions are exaggerated intentionally, so don't @ me. Jk you can totally make fun of me all you want lol I know I'm not the best artist. I also can't draw digitally AT ALL, so pen and paper it is.
> 
> Anyway, we finally get some answers! Viktor's mindset had been questioned by a few of you, and we still haven't fully unearthed it, but now we at least know some of his motivations! Next chapter, the interviews! And something else hehe~ Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the read, and please let me know what you think!


	8. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri has his interview, and it doesn't go according to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read the rating. Read the tags. Read the rating again. All done? Okay, now proceed.

When Yuuri and Axel arrived to the place the interviews would be happening, they were ushered into a room with the other tributes. Apparently, they had been on the late end, and the interviews were soon to begin. Axel looked lovely, wearing a red knee-length dress with a black sash and little crystals on her cheeks. Yuuri was incredibly amazed that their stylists had managed to put together a theme and yet still capture both Eros and innocence so distinctly. As soon as Yuuri and Axel entered the room backstage, the other tributes’ heads all turned towards them. Like before, some stared in awe, others in hatred, and Yuuri felt that confidence welling up in his chest again.

“Wow, Yuuri!” Phichit chirped, bounding over to him. He was dressed in a dark brown suit with green and gold leaves beautifully embroidered on the lapels. “You look absolutely ravishing!”

“Don’t forget about Axel,” Sara chimed in behind Phichit. Her dress was the same green as Phichit’s embroidered leaves, and she likewise had fake leaves sewn into the sheer fabric of her skirt. “I’ve never seen a lovelier little girl in my life!”

Axel giggled, and Yuuri smiled genuinely. “Thanks,” he said. “You both are looking magnificent yourselves.” Before they could really talk much more, though, the music signaling the beginning of the show played, and all four of them were called back to the line. Yuuri felt the deadly glare of Yuri on him, but he chose to ignore it. He was tired of letting the Career get to him.

Yuuri watched the television backstage as the program began, and Antony Bruté greeted the nation. He was as loud and charismatic as he’d always been, but the sheer power of that charisma was much more apparent in such close quarters. Yuuri felt almost blinded by Antony’s radiance. Antony moved on to introduce the first tribute to be interviewed, and Lilia walked onto the stage in a deep purple evening gown. As Yuuri watched the interview, it was clear that, like him and Axel, each tribute would have their own unique approach to winning over the audience. Lilia’s was maturity and elegance. She was older than most of the tributes with the exception of the elderly woman from Seven, and her grace was apparent in how she carried herself and spoke to Antony. Yuuri was too caught up in analyzing her body language to listen to much of what she said, but he caught that she was a skilled knife thrower and made sure to store that tidbit of information in the back of his mind for later.

Lilia’s interview ended, and she went to her place on the risers at the back of the stage while Antony introduced Yuri. His stylist had thought similarly to Minako, dressing the blond in a white and silver tuxedo much like his chariot outfit. Unlike the peaceful, ornate costume, though, Yuri’s approach was a simple one: angry, antagonistic, and dangerous. He snapped rudely at Antony and cursed freely throughout his interview, which Yuuri noticed was censored out in the televised version. He was arrogant, too, bragging openly about his skill in various forms of combat and radiating venom and hatred toward his fellow tributes. Even Yuuri shivered at the look in the teen’s eyes as he glared into the camera at the end of his interview.

The tributes from Two, Jean Jacques ‘JJ’ and Isabella, were both cocky and arrogant. Isabella’s confidence was more subdued than her male counterpart’s, but JJ’s was like that of a peacock. He was full of himself, talking in the third person like he was some kind of god. He was intimidating, though, tall with a broad, muscular build that was evident even beneath his green and purple tuxedo. Yuuri had seen his combat skills during training, and they were nothing to laugh at. Sure, the man came off as a pompous jackass, but that didn’t make his battle prowess any less dangerous.

The little girl from Three was bubbly and energetic, her brand of purity contrasting with Axel’s more shy, withdrawn innocence. After her was Minami, who carried a bright, boyish charm. Both of their costumes were childish, and a red streak had been dyed in Minami’s blond hair. Yuuri thought it suited him well and wondered if it was permanent.

The woman from District 4, Mila, was fierce and confident. She had a dangerous smile, but she wasn’t angry and rude like Yuri. She also had quite a bit of sex appeal, too, and Yuuri found himself thinking she reminded him of a fox. Regardless, she was stunning in her deep blue gown with her pearl-studded shoulders, and the audience ate her up. However, the audience didn’t truly go wild until Chris stepped onto the stage. Yuuri vaguely remembered what the man had said about his sex appeal outdoing Chris’s during the Tribute Parade, and lord, was the man making up for it now. Unlike the strict formal attire the other tributes wore, he donned dark blue slacks with an iridescently blue and green button up that was just a little bit too tight and was unbuttoned a little more than was appropriate at the top. Over that, his suit jacket was unbuttoned as well, and Antony whistled and fanned himself as Chris stepped on stage. Chris was heart-stopping, flashing the audience dazzling grins and winks. His sexuality, unlike Yuuri’s, was playful and masculine rather than intense and feminine, and Yuuri had to place a hand on Sara’s shoulder to stop her from swooning too much. Yuuri frowned as Chris purred his responses in that deep voice of his. _Shit_. Yuuri was going to have to work hard to win the Capitol’s hearts after _that_ performance.

District 5 was unmemorable. District 6 was interesting in that the woman was sexy and put together, but the man was an absolute disaster. He cried the entirety of his interview about how he and the woman from his district had apparently broken up shortly beforehand. Yuuri couldn’t help but roll his eyes. This kind of thing was why looking for love in the Arena was unwise. However, the spectacle greatly engaged the audience, who hummed with excitement and screamed at the slightest provocation after the display.

The elderly woman from Seven was sweet, and Yuuri’s heart ached knowing that she was most likely going to be one of the first to die. After all, she barely made it to Antony, hobbling slowly with a cane, so she wouldn’t exactly be able to run when the Bloodbath began. The man from Seven, Otabek, was aloof and mysterious. He was quiet, barely speaking even to answer Antony’s questions, but that approach worked for him, considering he’d scored a 10 in evaluation. He came off as a lone wolf type, and if Yuuri had been a Capitol citizen placing bets, he probably would have bet on him.

Both the woman and the man from District 8 were unmemorable in themselves, but being from the textile district, their costumes were something to behold. The man wore bright purple pants and a suit jacket adorned entirely in multicolored feathers making a rainbow blending into his bottom half. Yuuri found the costume garish and unappealing, but Phichit was smiling a little bit too much at the screen backstage. Yuuri elbowed him, raising an eyebrow, and he could’ve sworn Phichit’s cheeks went pink. Yuuri sighed and paid attention this time as the man’s name was repeated. ‘Seung-Gil’ had apparently wooed his new friend without even realizing it.

The tributes from Nine and Ten weren’t very interesting, either, except for when the boy from Ten, a radiant brunet with tanned skin, confessed his love for the meek boy from Nine in front of the entire nation. The audience went _wild_ , and Yuuri was in disbelief. How much romantic nonsense had taken place in the past week? Yuuri thought it was common sense that the games were no place for love, but… well, maybe he was a hypocrite, considering he’d volunteered out of a form of love in the first place. Still, Yuuri pretended not to notice when Sara kept shooting him glances in line.

Finally, it was Sara’s turn, and she was beautiful illuminated by the stage lights. Her forest-inspired dress and painted-on golden tattoos made her look like some sort of tree nymph. Antony commented on her loveliness, and she responded with shy gratitude. Her approach was one of a quiet, intelligent girl. She allowed Antony to prod her about her skills before admitting how fast she could sort plants by their uses. She told a heartwarming story about identifying plants with her twin brother at home, and the audience was positively enamored by her and her apparent love for her sibling. Yuuri admired her for her soft, subtle grace as well, and in another life, he might have returned her apparent feelings toward him. Here, though, he could only see her as another life that was soon to be extinguished.

Phichit was next, and he hardly had to act at all to nail his approach. Phichit was naturally charming and charismatic, leaning back in his seat comfortably like he’d been there a thousand times. His personality meshed seamlessly with Antony’s. The two bantered like lifelong pals, poking fun and making jokes that had the audience roaring with laughter. The chemistry onstage was unmatchable by the other tributes, and Yuuri smiled for his friend. Despite everything, he’d managed to stand out in the crowd. Phichit took an overzealous bow when his time was up, and the audience cheered loudly for him. Yuuri knew it was Axel’s turn next and gave the girl a quick hug for luck before she was called onto the stage.

Like Phichit, Axel didn’t have to act. Her natural shyness and innocence were apparent the second she greeted Antony. It was during her interview that Yuuri really appreciated how Antony tried his best with each tribute. While Axel didn’t say much herself, Antony went on and on about how adorable she was and how he hated to see her going into such dangerous games. He played to Axel’s age and childish cuteness in order to garner sympathy from the audience, and even Yuuri found his heart aching at the way Antony portrayed her tragic circumstances for pity. Of course, Yuuri’s heart ached for Axel anyway, but Antony was truly a master at manipulating the audience’s emotions. By the end of Axel’s interview, Yuuri could hear sobs echoing throughout the crowd.

Then, it was Yuuri’s turn, the last tribute. After seeing all those different acts, Yuuri’s head was spinning as he tried to conjure his own. He remembered what Minako said, and when he was called onto the stage, he sauntered to Antony with a purposeful sway in his hips. Yuuri had to fight to keep his jaw from dropping when he saw the sheer size of the audience. He’d known it was big from the loudness of the cheers, but it went on so far that Yuuri couldn’t even see the end of it. Ice-spiked nerves crept up Yuuri’s spine as he took his seat, crossing his legs like a woman.

“Yuuri!” Antony greeted, snapping Yuuri out of his impending panic attack. “You look lovely tonight! Now that outfit, it’s inspired by your costume from the Tribute Parade, am I wrong?”

It took Yuuri a moment to force the sound out of his mouth, but he managed to answer, “Yes. I owe it all to my wonderful stylist, Minako, as well as my talented prep team. They really worked magic on me.”

Antony grinned. “Well, let them take a bow, then! Minako, where are you?” The spotlight shone in the crowd until it found the waving brunette as well as the prep team, who looked absolutely ecstatic to be receiving attention. The light moved away and shone back on Yuuri and Antony. “I say, though,” Antony continued, “you aren’t giving yourself enough credit for your natural charm. I know the theme of your costume, but you can’t actually make diamonds from coal, can you?”

Yuuri laughed, the sound feeling like it came from somebody else. “You caught me!”

Antony laughed with Yuuri, and the audience loved it. However, then Antony pushed the expected question that Yuuri was dreading so terribly. “I have to ask, though, Yuuri—with looks like that, you _have_ to have someone special in your life. Who is it?”

This was it. The lie that Viktor told Yuuri to tell, this was his time to sell it. However, he couldn’t get it out. _Say it_ , he told himself as he remained silent for several moments. _Tell them that you’re in love with Yuuko._

However, then he thought about it. When Viktor had told him to say that, it was because he was pushing the angle that Yuuri was a sexy playboy. That wasn’t true though, was it? As Minako had said, Yuuri was the seductress, not the playboy, and how would that work if Yuuri said that he was trying to break up his best friend’s marriage? That was something a man would do. Yuuri was supposed to be a woman.

No, Yuuri needed a different approach. He was the one pursued, not the one that pursued. So who was he trying to seduce? Who was it that Yuuri wanted to impress above all others, who Yuuri desired to see him at his most beautiful?

The answer was obvious.

“Viktor,” Yuuri said at last before he could talk himself out of it. “Viktor Nikiforov.”

The audience _lost it_. There were screams and cheers louder than there had been all night, and Antony made a show of gaping wide at the audience in shock before turning back to Yuuri. “Viktor Nikiforov? Isn’t that your mentor, the charming victor of the 112th Hunger Games?”

Yuuri tilted his head with a sultry smirk. “Yes, that’s him. He’s the most beautiful man I’ve seen in my life.” The audience roared.

“Well, Yuuri,” Antony said, “you must be a true god of Eros to go after someone like _that!_ I wish you the best of luck!”

“Thank you,” Yuuri purred, shooting Antony a wink.

The buzzer signaled that Yuuri’s time was up, and Yuuri turned and made his way onto the riser beside Axel. As soon as he was out of the spotlight, the anxiety he’d felt before increased tenfold. What had he just done? The show concluded, and as soon as the cameras were turned off, Yuuri bolted from the stage.

The entire ride back to the apartment, Yuuri was silent. He’d been given spare clothes to change into, and not wanting any trace of Eros left on his skin, he’d scrubbed the makeup from his face in the bathroom. Minako had found him to give him back his glasses, hugging him wordlessly. She could apparently sense Yuuri’s anxiety.

Axel had looked like she wanted to tease Yuuri when he got in the car beside her, but upon seeing the look on his face, her cheeky grin dropped to a frown. The ride wasn’t long, but by the end of it, Axel was yawning, and Celestino declared that he’d put her to bed as soon as they got upstairs. He scooped up the little girl and hurried ahead of Yuuri, who trudged behind them lethargically. All he could feel was dread. By the time Yuuri reached the penthouse, Celestino was on his way out, patting Yuuri on the shoulder in a strange way before getting in the elevator.

As soon as Yuuri opened the door to the apartment, he knew why.

Viktor sat on one of the couches in the living area, nursing a glass of bourbon. He looked tired, an unreadable expression in his face as he swirled the golden brown liquid in his glass. Yuuri’s instinct was to run, and he almost did, hurriedly walking toward the hallway to the bedrooms when Viktor called out, “Yuuri.” Yuuri froze, looking over his shoulder to see the older man staring at him with that same unreadable look. “Stay.”

Yuuri felt like a kid about to be chastised as he slowly made his way to the other couch, taking a seat far from Viktor. The lump in his throat was like a rock. The two of them sat in silence for what felt like an eternity, neither looking at each other.

Finally, though, Viktor offered Yuuri an icy smile. “So, me, huh? I’ve got to say, you have a gift for surprising me. I thought after you pulled the 9 that you’d never shock me that much again, but you’ve proven me wrong. Bravo.” He took a sip of his drink. “You’re smart. I saw that you figured out your Eros, but you knew that the story I told you to tell wouldn’t fit it, didn’t you? So you used me instead. After all, having a love interest like me boosts your desirability significantly.” Viktor sat back, his lip curling slightly as he gave Yuuri a dagger-like stare. “Though it’s rude to use someone like that without asking first. I must say, your act was magnificent. You fooled everyone.”

Yuuri panicked and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “I wasn’t acting.”

Viktor stood suddenly, walking over to Yuuri, and Yuuri scrambled back until his back hit the arm of the couch. Viktor was glaring, now. “What do you know about me?” he spat coldly.

“I know that you like evening primroses,” Yuuri found himself saying before he could even think about it. “The yellow ones. You like the big Capitol roses, too, but wild primroses are your favorites.”

“Yuuri—“

“I know that you love the stars. You know more constellations than I ever could. I know that you drink red wine with your steak, but you prefer whiskey when you’re by yourself. You’re alone all the time, but you don’t want to be—“

“Yuuri, _stop._ ”

“You love spending time with others like you did with Axel and me. You actually smiled when you were with us. Y-You—“ Yuuri realized there were tears streaming down his face and sniffled. “You like me for my spirit,” Yuuri said.

Viktor looked at him with an almost pitying look on his face, and Yuuri’s heart ached. He hadn’t realized it until that moment, but he liked—no, _loved_ Viktor Nikiforov. Everything about the man, from his coldness to his warmth, Yuuri adored it all. He wanted it to be his.

Yuuri couldn’t stand the way Viktor was looked at him and stood up to leave, brushing past Viktor. However, Viktor grabbed his wrist in a tight grasp and pulled him back. Yuuri hardly registered the lips on his until a tongue was swiping against his bottom lip, and he eagerly opened his mouth to receive it.

Everything that happened from there was a whirlwind. One second, they were kissing in the living area, and the next thing Yuuri knew, he was pressed against the wall in Viktor’s bedroom. The man’s hands touched Yuuri ravenously, as if they’d been holding themselves back a long time from doing so, and Yuuri moaned into Viktor’s mouth. How long had he wanted this without realizing it? How long had _Viktor_ wanted this? Yuuri didn’t know, but right now, he couldn’t bring himself to care, slipping his hands under Viktor’s shirt to touch the toned muscle beneath. Viktor shifted his weight, pressing his thigh between Yuuri’s legs, and it occurred to Yuuri that he was still a virgin. He realized he didn’t care about that, either.

Yuuri was spun around and pushed onto the bed. He stared up at Viktor through half-lidded eyes as the other man pulled his shirt up over his head and flung it aside before crawling over Yuuri. Yuuri put his hands above his head as Viktor grabbed the hem of his own shirt, pushing it up over Yuuri’s pectorals. “A-Aah,” Yuuri moaned as Viktor caressed his bare chest before leaning down and swiping his tongue over a nipple. “Mm-!” Yuuri squirmed beneath Viktor as the man then took his nipple into his mouth and sucked. He bit down gently, just barely grazing his teeth before switching to the other side of Yuuri’s chest and giving the other nipple the same treatment. Yuuri was writhing beneath Viktor already, his member hard and aching between his legs. He’d never been so aroused in his life, and Viktor seemed to realize this, palming at Yuuri’s erection through his pants.

“V-Viktor,” Yuuri stammered as the other man played with him until a wet spot had formed on the front of his pants. “Viktor, please, I can’t—“ Yuuri begged incoherently. Viktor seemed to understand what he was asking for, though. He pulled at the elastic of Yuuri pants and underwear, pulling them both down and off in one swift movement. Yuuri shuddered as his hardness was exposed to the cool air, but it wasn’t cold for long. Before Yuuri could protest, Viktor took him into his mouth, swallowing the entire length in one movement. “A-AH!” Yuuri shouted, fingers grasping at anything and everything and settling in Viktor’s hair. Viktor looked up at Yuuri, those blue eyes more heated than Yuuri had ever seen them, and pulled back until just the tip was in his mouth. Yuuri squirmed, making keening sounds as Viktor sucked and licked the head, swirling his tongue around it before sinking down again, taking Yuuri deep into his mouth and bobbing his head.

Yuuri grasped Viktor’s hair tightly, and some distant part of him knew he was probably hurting the other man, but he didn’t care right now. His hips instinctively thrusted up, and Viktor’s hands moved to pin them back down, letting his mouth do all the work. Viktor bobbed his head up and down rapidly, sucking and licking all the while, and Yuuri knew he wasn’t going to last long. “V-Viktor,” he tried to warn, “I’m—“ Viktor just intensified his efforts though, bobbing hard and fast before sinking down to the hilt and sucking as hard as he could. That’s what pushed Yuuri over the edge. “AHH!” he screamed, back arching as he came harder than he ever had in his life into Viktor’s mouth. His cock throbbed and pulsed, cumming over and over until finally, Yuuri collapsed on the bed, panting heavily. He looked up as Viktor pulled back, about to apologize for finishing in his mouth, when Viktor made a show of swallowing and licking his lips.

“Delicious,” Viktor said in a low growl. Yuuri’s flushed bright red.

Yuuri was weak, but he could see the bulge straining in Viktor’s pants and started to sit up. “Do you want me to—?” he started to ask, but Viktor gently grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him back down.

“Actually, I have a different idea,” Viktor said. He reached to the nightstand, fumbling around for something in the drawer before retrieving a bottle of what looked like oil. Yuuri paled as he realized what was coming next, but Viktor simply chuckled deeply and caressed Yuuri’s cheek. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m not going to do _that_ tonight. As much as I’d love to make love to you, I couldn’t risk hurting you right before the games.” Yuuri relaxed, and Viktor pulled down his pants, unveiling his own erection. Yuuri was secretly glad they weren’t doing anything penetrative this time, as Viktor was rather large, but he felt his mouth water at the sight of his cock nonetheless. Viktor popped open the vial of oil and poured a little in his hand before tossing to bottle aside and slicking up his member. Then, he pushed up Yuuri’s legs, putting one calf over either shoulder. Yuuri realized what he was doing and pushed his thighs together as tightly as he could while keeping his ankles apart. Viktor settled into a comfortable position before sliding his cock between Yuuri’s thighs with a groan.

Yuuri panted heavily as Viktor began to thrust his hips, sliding his cock in and out between Yuuri’s thighs. Despite the non-penetrative nature of it, the action felt incredibly lewd, and Yuuri’s face was burning. Viktor smirked down at him as he began to thrust faster, taking Yuuri’s ankles in his hands. Yuuri was grateful that Viktor had thought to use the oil, but the ease with which Viktor’s cock fucked his thighs made his overstimulated member twitch. Viktor continued ruthlessly thrusting, the slap of his pelvis hitting the backs of Yuuri’s thighs filling the room over and over. It took what felt like both forever and no time at all for Viktor to say, “I’m cumming, Yuuri!” before thrusting forward one last time and finishing, spurting cum in stripes up Yuuri’s abdomen.

Both of them practically collapsed after that, Viktor colliding with the bed beside Yuuri. They both just laid there for several moments, panting, before Viktor got up, and for a moment, Yuuri was scared that Viktor had made a mistake and was going to leave. However, he disappeared into the bathroom instead, emerging moments later with a wet washcloth. He knelt down on the bed beside Yuuri and wiped the cum from his stomach and chest, and Yuuri shivered at the pleasant warmth of the rag. Viktor tossed the cloth into the laundry bin before looking down at Yuuri, a soft smile on his face. Yuuri flinched as a hand came into his field of vision, but Viktor just stroked Yuuri’s slicked back hair. Laying down beside him once more, Viktor pulled Yuuri back against him, burying his face in the nape of Yuuri’s neck. Yuuri felt incredibly flustered under all the attention, but he basked in the warmth of Viktor’s arms around him and the feeling of that broad, solid chest flush with his back.

Hours passed, and Viktor evidently fell asleep, his breathing going slow and rhythmic. Yuuri didn’t sleep so easily, though. Tomorrow was the games. Everything Yuuri had done starting from the Reaping had led to this point, and tomorrow, he’d find out if he’d made the right decisions. Part of him knew that he might die within seconds, and that would be it, but he had a gut feeling that he’d make it longer than that. Whether he’d be able to save Axel, though… Well, that was the question, wasn’t it?

Yuuri forced his eyes shut and focused on Viktor’s breathing. He needed sleep. Following the rise and fall of Viktor’s chest with his own, Yuuri finally managed to slip into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, this fic earns its rating! I know you were all waiting for it, and so was I tbh. I've had up until this point outlined since Chapter 1, so everything before this was just buildup. I just finished outlining the second part of the fic (the games), so hopefully I can get a jump on that soon.
> 
> Also, I drew more art for this chapter! I wanted to draw a few of the interview outfits, so you can find that [here!](https://noname-chan.tumblr.com/post/615668955767619584/more-trash-art-for-my-trash-fic-you-betcha) You may notice that the last drawing is MilaSara, and that's because I love that ship and was sad there was no room for it in the fic. But you know what? I'm the author, so I say that the girls made out in a closet at some point without Yuuri knowing! Nobody can tell me otherwise, therefore it is now fact. You're welcome.
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think! Updates will likely slow down from here, but next time, the games start, so stay tuned!


	9. The Games Begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Axel are escorted to the hovercraft to be taken to the Arena. Yuuri receives an unexpected goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are y'all ready? Got your tissues? Good. Everything is gonna be real sad from here moving forward, so prepare your hearts.

When Yuuri woke up, the bed was cold. He patted his hand beside him blindly and then sat up to discover that Viktor was gone. What felt like a rock made of pure ice formed in his stomach. Of course Viktor was gone. Why would he stay? Yuuri was a dead man, and an unappealing one at that. What reason did Viktor have to—to… Yuuri wiped away a tear that fell. No. No, he refused to cry for Viktor anymore. So what if Yuuri had just been a passing fancy to Viktor? That didn’t matter when Yuuri was going to die soon. His attention was better focused on the games and saving Axel.

Yuuri took a shower to rinse the remaining makeup and hair gel from his body. He breathed deeply at the scent of the soap, closing his eyes against the warm water. This would be his last shower. That seemed like a silly thing to get emotional over, but Yuuri’s heart was already aching. One by one, he remembered everyone important in his life: his family, Yuuko and Takeshi, the other two triplets. It wasn’t much, but they had showered him with more love than he could ever hope for. Yuuri curled up on the shower floor, pressing his face in his hands and crying. Why had he done it? Why had he volunteered? If he’d just stayed home, he never would have had to worry about being reaped again. He could’ve been home right now in his bed, waiting for the telltale smell of his mother cooking breakfast.

What about Axel, though? What would have happened to her? She would have gone into this scared and alone, and maybe she was still terrified, but at least this way, she had Yuuri. If she’d been alone, she would have had no chance. If another tribute didn’t kill her, she surely would’ve surrendered to the elements. At least this way, Yuuri could do his best to defend her. This way, he could take care of her for as long as his pathetic life lasted. Who knew? Maybe, luck would be on their side, and they’d make it to the final two. After that, though, Yuuri would have to…

Yuuri shook his head and stood up, turning off the shower. There was no point in dreading ‘what-if’s. All Yuuri could do was try his best.

Yuuri got dressed and headed to the dining area. Celestino and Axel were there, but no Viktor. Yuuri unconsciously clenched his fists. He remembered what Viktor had said about never giving up on him and Axel, but that was all probably just a lie to get into his pants, wasn’t it? Yuuri ate ferociously, and Axel and Celestino exchanged concerned looks. Yuuri slowed down after that. He didn’t want to worry them, and besides, it would be bad if he ate too fast and threw up his last meal before the Arena.

After a hearty breakfast where Yuuri made sure to drink as much water as he could stomach, Celestino escorted Yuuri and Axel downstairs to the car. The three of them shared a solemn silence. They had maybe two hours before the games officially began, and Yuuri’s stomach was in knots. They arrived at the building where Yuuri and Axel would be parting with Celestino to board the hovercraft, and their goodbyes were short.

Celestino sniffled, wiping a tear from his eye. “You two… were a delight to represent. You’re the best tributes I’ve ever had the pleasure of introducing to Capitol food, and—and—“ Celestino erupted into sobs. Yuuri and Axel each hugged the man who, despite everything, had been kind to them.

“Thank you, Celestino,” Yuuri said. “Thank you for doing everything you could for us. You were an amazing escort.” Axel nodded her agreement.

Celestino retrieved a handkerchief from his pocket and blew his nose, smiling tearfully at Yuuri and Axel. “Thank you, darlings. Good luck in there. May the odds,” he sniffed, “be ever in your favors.” The trio shared one last hug before Celestino pulled away and sped into another room as if he couldn’t stand the grief anymore. Yuuri and Axel were directed outside, where the hovercraft was waiting.

Yuuri took Axel’s hand and inhaled deeply. The two of them began walking toward the craft when suddenly—“Yuuri!”

Yuuri whipped around to see Viktor sprinting toward them, red and panting as if he’d been running for miles. “Viktor?” Yuuri whispered in surprise, stopping in his tracks.

“Yuuri!” Viktor repeated, skidding to a halt in front of him. “H-Here,” he panted, doubling over in exhaustion but holding out his hand to Yuuri. In his palm sat a golden ring, just a simple band, but beautiful and sparkling. Yuuri blinked in shock, unsure of what this meant. Viktor looked up at him, smiling weakly. “I’m sorry I took so long. I had to rush to get this evaluated and approved for the Arena. Please, Yuuri, wear this as your token.”

Yuuri was in shock. “You want to give me this?” he asked in disbelief.

Viktor laughed and held up his right hand. On his ring finger was an identical golden ring, shimmering in the sunlight. “Of course I want to give it to you. I had it specially made _for you_.”

Yuuri’s mouth was agape, opening and closing silently. He had no idea what to say, but Axel snapped him out of his stupor with a sharp elbow to the leg. “Take it,” she commanded before suddenly releasing Yuuri’s hand and running ahead to the hovercraft. Viktor stood up straight, still holding out the ring, and Yuuri stared at the beautiful thing.

Viktor took Yuuri’s shaking hand into his own, sliding the ring onto his ring finger for him. It was a perfect fit. Yuuri looked up at Viktor, tears welling up in his eyes. “Viktor, I-I—“ he swallowed, smiling. “Thank you. I’ll wear it as long as I live,” he swore. Suddenly, Yuuri was wrapped in a hug. Yuuri instinctively hugged Viktor back, squeezing the warm body as tight as he could. They pulled back, still holding each other. “Well,” said Yuuri. “I guess this is it. Thank you for everything, and please remember that Axel is the objective, not me. I-I—“ Yuuri couldn’t get the words out, so he pulled away instead, turning around to go to the hovercraft.

“Yuuri,” Viktor said suddenly, and Yuuri turned back one last time only to have his face cradled between two warm hands and pulled into a kiss. This kiss wasn’t like the kisses from the previous night, which were hot and desperate. Rather, this one was soft, warm, and full of tenderness. Viktor pulled back after several moments and pressed his forehead to Yuuri’s, looking deeply into his eyes. “Do what you came here to do,” he said in a firm voice. Yuuri tried to memorize the color of those blue eyes as he clenched his jaw and nodded. This time, when Yuuri and Viktor pulled away, it was for the last time, and they waved to each other as Yuuri climbed into the hovercraft.

Yuuri was ushered into a cabin with the other tributes. Yuri sneered at him, making some scathing comment about him and Viktor, but Yuuri didn’t care. He wasn’t even listening, taking his seat beside Axel with a blank look on his face. Across from him, the boys from Districts 9 and 10 gazed at each other, holding hands, and Yuuri smiled the slightest bit. At least he’d gotten to know love before he died.

Capitol technicians swarmed the tributes with syringes, injecting something into each of their arms before any of them knew what was happening. “What is that?” Yuuri asked, wincing as the needle pierced his arm and trying not to punch the technician making Axel cry next to him.

“Your tracker,” his technician answered shortly before leaving. Yuuri looked at the point in his arm where something glowed under the skin for a moment before fading. His eyes moved up to the golden ring sparkling on his right ring finger, and he felt his throat tighten. After that, he hugged Axel, telling her it was okay and coaxing her to stop crying over the pain in her arm. Yuuri frowned as he held the girl, knowing fully well how much more pain she was in for

Yuuri held his arms out, allowing Minako to slide a puffy jacket onto him. The Arena uniform consisted of baggy, muddy green pants tucked into brown lace-up boots, a gray, fitted tee made of a strange material, and the bulky jacket. Despite the puffy nature of the coat, it was oddly fitted as well, tapering in at the waist and then covering down to the middles of Yuuri’s thighs. It had a hood, too, and was a dark charcoal grey color.

Minako frowned as she zipped up the jacket and handed Yuuri a pair of black gloves. “The Arena is going to be freezing,” she warned. “The coat and the shirt are both made of thermal materials. It’s strange, though…” She chewed her bottom lip. “While the coat is meant to trap heat in, the shirt is intended to breathe and expel warmth. They’re opposites. I don’t know what that means for the Arena, but definitely expect some cold nights.”

Yuuri nodded. “I figured out that it would be a cold arena during training. They had supplies for ice fishing,” he told her.

Minako smiled, something akin to pride in her makeup-lined eyes. “Smart boy.” Then she pulled him into a tight hug which Yuuri returned. She pulled back after several moments, fixing him with a stern stare. “Now, I’m sure you know this, but don’t try to get anything from the mouth of the Cornucopia. That’s the easiest and most common way to get killed in the games. If there’s a backpack or something that you can easily grab near the outer perimeter of the goods away from the bulk of it, then grab that. Otherwise, go find Axel and get out of there.”

Yuuri nodded. Viktor had given this same kind of advice over meals. Yuuri’s first priority after finding Axel and escaping the Bloodbath was to find water. A voice called over the intercom, counting down the time Yuuri had to get in the tube in the room, and he and Minako exchanged one last hug before Yuuri followed the order. The tube closed, and Yuuri suddenly couldn’t breathe. It hit him all at once that this was real, this was happening right now, and Yuuri had no escape. He was trapped. The intercom counted down, and Minako nodded to Yuuri. He gulped and nodded back. Then, the platform he was on began to rise, and Yuuri was in darkness for several moments. He felt like he was suffocating.

Then, there was light so bright that Yuuri was blinded at first. A rush of cold air stung his face. He squinted until his eyes adjusted, and he found himself in a circle around the Cornucopia with all the other tributes. They were in a clearing of hard-packed dirt ground covered in a layer of snow and permafrost. Surrounding them from behind on all sides were tall coniferous trees, each one with heavy branches weighed down by snow. The trees seemed to lead to the base of a snow-capped mountain far in the distance on one side and continued endlessly on the other. The snow was falling from the overcast sky, too, in large, powdery flakes that melted against Yuuri’s cheeks as soon as they came into contact. Yuuri licked a stray water droplet and thought. Well, the good news was that water wasn’t going to be an immediate issue.

A voice called out overhead, announcing the beginning of the 125th annual Hunger Games. Then, the countdown began, starting down from 60. Yuuri’s heart pounded in his chest, and he took the slowest, deepest breaths he could to try and fight off the impending panic. He needed to focus. He scanned the immediate area. As always, there was a large, golden metal horn in the middle of the clearing, its mouth spilling with food, supplies, and weapons. Yuuri even noticed a pickaxe right in the mouth but quickly turned his attention away. Offense wasn’t his game. Instead, he focused on the placement of the tributes. Luckily for Yuuri, Yuri was as far away from him as he could be, eleven tributes to his left. Axel was seven tributes to his right, which was farther than Yuuri liked, but in between them were various backpacks and supplies littering the ground. Yuuri set his sights on the one most directly in his path to Axel and readied his stance. As soon as the gong rang, he’d run, get the backpack, grab Axel, and head into the woods toward the mountain. High ground was a good idea, and the Careers would likely set their base by the Cornucopia, so being far from them was a solid plan.

However, as the countdown reached the single digits, Yuuri’s anxiety hit him again at full force. He couldn’t breathe, and his head was starting to spin. _No!_ he thought. _Not now!_ He forced air in and out of his lungs, but the icy sting of the freezing air was jarring after coming into the Arena from a July summer morning. Yuuri was only snapped out of his downward spiral by the ring of the gong, and he scrambled to make his legs move. He clumsily ran for the backpack he’d set his sights on, but by the time he got there, the boy from Five had already grabbed it and put it on. He cursed under his panting breath. Yuuri wasn’t about to get in a grappling match for the bag with his life so heavily on the line, and he was about to run for another, farther bag when suddenly, the boy from Five was knocked onto his back. Yuuri saw the knife sticking out of his head and acted before he could think. He rolled over the body and attempted to untangle the backpack from it, but Yuuri heard a whizzing sound and turned his body just in time for the knife to only graze his shoulder. He shouted at the sudden, sharp pain, but he could also see Lilia running toward him, prepping another knife. Yuuri acted fast. Pulling the knife from the corpse’s head, he cut one of the backpack’s straps, leaving him able to wrench the bag free and run just as another knife whizzed by his head. Unfortunately, he’d chosen the wrong strap to cut, as the remaining strap had to then sit on his injured shoulder. He yelped but grit his teeth through it, not willing to lose the possibly crucial supplies over a bit of pain.

Yuuri heard a scream of his name and saw Axel running toward him. He also saw Mila running toward her with a long blade and doubled his sprinting efforts. He managed to make it to Axel first, sweeping her off the ground with his uninjured arm and carrying her as he then ran for the woods, making sure she was turned away from Lilia and her knives. However, no more knives came flying their way, and just as Yuuri reached the tree line, he heard a shout of “Pig!” as well as heavy footsteps running behind him. Yuuri didn’t have to look to know that Yuri was after him, but he turned his head just enough to see the long sword the blond teen held. Yuuri just kept running, but he knew immediately that he was at a disadvantage. He was bigger and clumsier than Yuri, and he had Axel and a backpack to carry. Couple those factors with the pain that was slowly spreading through his injured shoulder, and Yuuri knew he couldn’t outrun Yuuri. That left him with one option: hide. Yuuri grit his teeth and began to weave through the trees wildly. He took sharp turns, occasionally glancing behind him to see where Yuri was. Eventually, the randomness of his path broke the line of sight between them, and after Yuri had disappeared for a good few seconds, Yuuri quickly whipped around the side of a large tree, pressing himself to the backside of it. He heard Yuri crash through the woods, getting closer, and Yuuri did his best to quiet his breathing, holding a hand over Axel’s mouth.

As Yuri got closer, though, his footsteps slowed. He apparently figured out that Yuuri was no longer running, and Yuuri mentally swore. He slowly crept around the side of the tree as Yuri came within sight of it, pressing himself on the opposite side. Then, the taunts began “Piggy, piggy, piggy!” Yuri called out mockingly. “Come out, come out, wherever you are!” The footsteps got closer, breaking twigs with their heavy tread. “I’m coming for you, pig! I’m going to kill you and that little girl, too!” Yuuri knew Yuri was trying to goad him at this point, but Yuuri stayed firm in his hiding place. He was too exhausted to sprint much more, and Yuri was so close that he’d immediately catch him if Yuuri ran. Hiding was the only shot Yuuri had. The steps wandered around nearby, and Yuuri silently crept around the tree, trying to stay on the other side as them. Then, the footsteps grew closer, directly approaching the tree with agonizing leisure. “Piggy,” Yuri called out again, so close that Yuuri’s blood turned to ice, “I’m coming for you—“

Suddenly, however, there was a woman’s call of Yuri’s name from back the way they had come. Yuri huffed loudly on the other side of the tree, shouting back, “I’m coming, you old hag!” Then there were those loud footsteps again, this time stomping away from Yuuri. They crunched through the forest floor and bits of snow that had fallen through the trees’ cover, getting quieter and quieter before disappearing altogether. Only when they went silent did Yuuri finally let out the breath he’d been holding. He panted, looking at Axel in his arms, whose eyes were wet with tears.

“You okay?” he quietly whispered to the little girl. She just nodded, and Yuuri sighed in relief. She didn’t look like she’d gotten hurt during the Bloodbath. Yuuri winced as his left shoulder ached, instinctively putting his hand over the wound. He pulled his hand away, and his glove was wet with blood. Yuuri sighed. He’d have to inspect the wound more thoroughly later, but he could still move his left arm, so hopefully it wasn’t too deep. Yuuri heard shouts and screams in the distance behind him and decided that he’d better not stall any longer. Yuuri settled Axel in his right arm with her legs around either side of his waist and adjusted the backpack on his left shoulder so that it wasn’t directly on the wound. Then, he set off in a jog in the opposite direction that Yuri had gone. Yuuri couldn’t see anymore due to the dense trees, but he’d entered the forest in the direction of the mountain, so hopefully, he would still be heading that direction.

Yuuri kept jogging until his legs ached terribly and then slowed to a walk. He kept moving, though, occasionally jogging for bursts again, continuing for what must have been hours. Yuuri couldn’t see the sun through the snow clouds, but the uproar of the Bloodbath was long behind him. Yuuri hadn’t heard any footsteps anywhere near him since Yuri had nearly found them, and after probably another half hour, Yuuri finally slowed to a stop. He set Axel down as gently as he could and took a seat at the base of a tree, panting. He pulled the backpack off his now pulsing shoulder, and Axel meekly approached him.

“You got hurt,” she said. Yuuri nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, “I did.” Yuuri touched the wound again, and it at least didn’t feel as wet anymore. Yuuri decided it was better to take his jacket off and inspect it now rather than wait until nightfall when it would likely be much colder. Unzipping his coat, Yuuri took it halfway off, removing his entire left arm. The blood had stained a good portion of his shirt, and he carefully pulled the cloth down his arm to get a look at the wound.

It was deep, but not horribly so. It probably would benefit from stiches, but it wasn’t something that couldn’t heal without them. It would definitely scar, but Yuuri would be okay, assuming he could keep out infection. That was the challenge, though. Yuuri only had basic knowledge of medicinal plants and procedures, so he’d just have to hope it was enough. Yuuri scooped some snow into his hand and grit his teeth as he pressed it against his shoulder both to help numb it and to clean it when the snow melted into water. He repeated the process a few times as Axel watched him curiously, not saying a word. Yuuri hated that he had to deal with something so ugly in front of her, but they were in the games now; ugliness was the nicest Axel would get here.

Once the melted snow had cleared away a good bit of the blood and eased the searing pain to a duller ache, Yuuri wiped away the water with his jacket sleeve and pondered what to do next. He needed something to ward off infection, but what? Then Yuuri looked around him and had an idea. These were conifers, right? If so, then one of the trees would likely be pine. As a kid, Yuuri’s mother had often used pine sap as an antiseptic for shallow wounds and scrapes Yuuri got playing. Granted, this wound was much deeper than those, but it was the best idea Yuuri had. Yuuri paced around a bit until he spotted a lump on a tree that looked a bit like a pimple. The tree looked like pine, but Yuuri wasn’t sure. However, he decided to take a chance and removed a glove before squeezing the bump with his bare hand. Pine sap flowed from it generously, and Yuuri gathered it in his fingers. He then took a deep breath before applying it to his open wound. It stung, putting something like that in the gash, but Yuuri grit his teeth and bared it. Once the wound was coated in the sap, he covered it with another layer of snow and then pulled his shirt back over his shoulder. He moved and rolled the muscles slightly, and while it wasn’t comfortable, it wasn’t nearly as debilitating as before. Yuuri pulled his jacket on and zipped it before wiping his sap-sticky hand in the snow and pulling his glove back on.

Yuuri returned to Axel, who stayed nearby with the backpack. “All better,” he assured her when she looked at him worriedly.

She visibly relaxed. “What did you get in the bag?” she asked.

Yuuri sat down by the tree again. “I’m not sure. We should probably find out, huh?” The backpack was black in color, which was both fortunate because it would be invisible at night and unfortunate because it would stand out against the snow. Yuuri felt the strap he’d cut and cursed himself for having to do so. It was a detriment to have to carry the bag on his wounded shoulder. He unzipped the bag, which had only the one zipper and no pockets. The first thing he pulled out was rope. He figured that could be useful and set it aside. Next was an empty metal bottle. Yuuri filled it with snow before unzipping his jacket and putting it between his shirt and coat. It was cold and uncomfortable, but he needed water, especially after trekking for so long. Yuuri dug in the bag and pulled out a small bag of dried meat. He opened it and rationed him and Axel each a piece before closing it again. He didn’t want to eat it all at once, but they needed sustenance. He chewed on the salty jerky and continued rummaging through the bag. In it was a coil of thin wire, a small metal pot no bigger than a bowl, and a packet of dried fruit. It wasn’t much, and Yuuri had hoped for something to light their way at night, but it was better than nothing.

Finally, Yuuri inspected the knife he’d pulled from the boy from Five’s head. It was caked with dry blood, and Yuuri shivered, wiping it clean in the snow. It was a throwing knife, symmetrical with sharpened edges on both sides. It wasn’t the best knife; it wasn’t really meant for utility, as it lacked any serrated parts or much grip around the handle, but once again, it was better than nothing. Yuuri put all of the supplies back into the backpack and zipped it up. Then, he inspected the damage on the right shoulder strap. He’d cut it close to halfway, so he tied a haphazard knot between the two parts. It wouldn’t be comfortable, and he couldn’t really wear the backpack on both shoulders due to the unevenness, but at least he could carry the bag on his right shoulder now.

The supplies sorted through, Yuuri decided he and Axel could stand to travel a bit more distance before dark. Yuuri threw the bag over his right shoulder and beckoned the girl. “Come on, Axel. Let’s walk a little more before it gets dark. She nodded obediently and took his hand. Together, they walked further into the thick woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for the games! However, it might be a few days before I have another chapter ready because... well, you know that Spongebob meme where Plankton says, "I don't know, I didn't think I'd get this far"? That's me with this fic. I outlined the second half of it (though it might end up actually being more like two-thirds because I have a 14-day games planned), and lord. Prepare yourselves. Because it gets nasty. I have spared no ounce of brutality in the making of these games, considering I'm essentially the Head Gamemaker ahaha... haha... ha. Yeah, get ready to cry.
> 
> Also, small nitpick, but the reason Yuuri's knife isn't a utility knife like Katniss's is because THAT DETAIL ALWAYS BOTHERED ME ABOUT THE HUNGER GAMES. In the original, Katniss gets her utility knife when Clove throws it at her and it gets lodged in her backpack. This is the same knife that she goes on to saw a tree branch with and THAT MAKES NO SENSE because throwing knives AREN'T SERRATED and Clove wouldn't have thrown a utility knife and AHHHH??? So I corrected that detail in my version lol. All the survival skills in this are going to be based off quick google searches, though, so don't nitpick too much haha
> 
> I drew art for this chapter, too. It's not very good, but you can find it [here.](https://noname-chan.tumblr.com/post/615769068303187968/it-continues) As always, thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think!


	10. Lurking Danger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Axel stop for the night. Multiple dangers present themselves, and Yuuri has to problem solve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! It's the end of the semester for me, so I've had online work to do the past couple days. Enjoy the chapter! (Or don't, since there's probably death)

Hours passed, and it started to get dark. Granted, it had been dark in the shadows of the trees already, but it was obvious when the sun began to set behind the clouds. It got significantly darker, and it started getting cold, even with their heavy jackets and gloves. Yuuri decided they should stop for the night. He took a swig of the water he’d melted under his jacket before handing the bottle to Axel, who took several gulps. Yuuri took the dried fruit from their bag and rationed two pieces each for him and Axel. It wasn’t much, but it would tide them over until they could find more food tomorrow. Today was just about getting some distance; after all, the Bloodbath was long over, and the Careers were likely on the prowl by now. Yuuri hadn’t heard the cannons signifying the deaths that had occurred, so he guessed he must have been distracted and missed them. He’d find out who had died during the nightly recap of The Fallen, anyway.

Yuuri found a spot somewhat concealed by dead bushes and set down the bag, preparing to set up a makeshift camp. They didn’t have much to set up. A fire was risky with the Careers still so close by, so Yuuri decided against it for now. They didn’t have anything to cook, anyway. Yuuri and Axel took a seat on the ground. It was getting colder, so they huddled together for warmth.

“I’m tired,” said Axel, rubbing her eyes. Yuuri ruffled her hair.

“You can go to sleep, Axel. We walked far today,” Yuuri told her, and she nodded. She nuzzled her face into the crook of Yuuri’s arm and was out like a light. Yuuri stayed awake, though, as the sky continued to darken. He didn’t want to risk falling asleep before they had complete darkness on their side, and besides, he wanted to know who had died today.

It took a while, but surely enough, the anthem played and the nation’s seal was projected into the sky. It was a bit hard to see, only visible through a small space between trees and a bit dim with all the snow and cloud cover. Yuuri could see it, though, as the fatalities began to be displayed. The first was the little girl from District 3, and Yuuri sighed. She hadn’t had much of a chance, not having someone like Yuuri to protect her, but it was still sad to know that a young kid had fallen prey to the Bloodbath. That also meant all the tributes from One and Two had made it. It was unsurprising, but Yuuri had still held out hope. Next was the boy from Five, and Yuuri thought. All the Careers were alive, then. That wasn’t good for him. They had likely formed a pack to hunt down the other tributes, and a 1-6 disadvantage wasn’t exactly favorable for Yuuri, especially with Axel to protect. Yuuri also realized that Minami must have survived, but that was practically an afterthought. Next in the sky was the guy from Six, the one who had cried over losing his girlfriend during his interview. Yuuri was unsurprised to see such an emotional man go. Pity parties had no place in the games. After that was the elderly woman from Seven, another soul Yuuri felt intense sympathy for. Like the girl from Three, she had had no chance. She couldn’t even run, let alone fight. It was over for her from the start. The girls from Eight, Nine, and Ten were next, and Yuuri deduced that must mean that the ox-like man from Seven, Otabek, had survived, too. Yuuri clenched his jaw. He wasn’t liking his and Axel’s odds so far.

However, the last fatality of the day made Yuuri’s heart clench. Projected into the sky was the face of Sara. Yuuri’s jaw dropped. He hadn’t expected her to survive the games, but he didn’t think she’d die in the Bloodbath! She was smart, too smart to have given into the temptation of the loot. No, she must have been caught by a Career on her way into the woods. Yuuri held a solemn moment of silence for her. She had been sweet. Yuuri hadn’t known her well, but she was kind, genuinely kind to him and Axel. She’d also had feelings for Yuuri, and Yuuri realized with a sickening feeling that she was truly _gone_. The other deaths weren’t pleasant, but Yuuri wasn’t affected by them the way he was by Sara’s.

The projection in the sky went dark, and Yuuri sighed in relief that Phichit was still alive, at least. That was 8 dead in the Bloodbath. Statistically speaking, that wasn’t actually a lot; other games often saw over half the tributes dead within the first 12 hours. However, Sara’s death hung heavily on Yuuri’s mind, and he looked at Axel’s sleeping face. It could happen to either of them at any moment. Yuuri was sure he’d hear the Careers creeping up on him if they were anywhere near as loud as Yuri had been earlier, but what if he didn’t? Or what if they got him in his sleep? He’d be gone in an instant, and then Axel would be done for. Everything Yuuri had done would have been for nothing.

Yuuri shook his head and closed his eyes, leaning back against the tree they’d sat by. Axel’s snores were almost silent, and Yuuri hoped they’d stay that way. He listened to Axel’s breathing, allowing it to lull him to sleep.

Yuuri was woken by a howl. He shot up, looking around, but he didn’t see anything. It was still dark, but there was no torch light or crashing footsteps to signal the Careers’ approach. Yuuri listened closely and heard it again: another howl. Now that he was awake, he registered it was distinctly that of some kind of dog or wolf. Whatever it was, it was far away, but Yuuri was tense. If there were wolves about, he didn’t want to sleep on the ground where they were an easy target. Yuuri thought about it and remembered he had the rope. Gently shaking Axel awake, he whispered, “Axel, we’re going to go sleep in a tree now. It’s dangerous down here.”

Axel sniffled and shivered. “It’s cold,” she quietly whined.

Yuuri paused and realized she was right. He’d been so focused on the wolves, he hadn’t realized how much the temperature had dropped. He was shaking, too, and his nose was numb. Yuuri knew it was foolish to light a fire in the middle of the night, though; the light would be like a beacon in this darkness. Instead, Yuuri decided they’d better try something less risky. Yuuri stood and began picking up dead branches and needles off the ground as well as whatever dried leaves he could find. He then unzipped Axel’s jacket at the top. “This isn’t going to be comfortable, but it’ll help warm you up,” he told her before stuffing the dry leaves and needles between her jacket and her shirt. He’d learned this trick from his mother as a kid. The leaves would serve as insulation and help keep in body heat. Yuuri stuffed his own jacket with leaves, too, before looking around.

Luckily for Yuuri, the snow was just reflective enough to give him a bit of night vision, and he looked around for a larger tree. He wanted to get high enough off the ground to be out of reach of predators, but he needed a branch big enough to sleep on. He spotted a tree with big, heavy branches. “Come on, Axel, we’re going to climb that tree over there. I’ll lift you up onto the low branches, and keep climbing from there, okay?”

“Okay, Yuuri.”

Yuuri hoisted Axel into the tree, and she did as told. Yuuri put the backpack on his right shoulder and pulled himself up onto a large lower branch. It hurt his injured shoulder like hell, but it was better than being mauled by whatever had made those howls before. After that, he climbed up the tree until he reached a branch a decent ways off the ground, but not yet so thin that he couldn’t rest on it. “Axel, down here,” he whispered to the girl above him. He straddled the branch with his back to the trunk and helped the girl climb down, settling between his legs with her back to him. Yuuri rummaged through the backpack until he found the rope and zipped it back up. Leaning over carefully, Yuuri wrapped the rope around the branch and his and Axel’s legs several times before tying it in a knot that would hold, but was easy enough to untie quickly if necessary. “Okay,” said Yuuri, “we’re safe now. Sorry for waking you. You can go back to sleep now.” Axel nodded.

However, after several minutes, it was evident neither of them would be able to sleep. Not because of the discomfort of the tree, though—it was because of the cold. “Y-Yuuri,” Axel stuttered, shaking like a leaf. “It’s c-cold.”

Yuuri was shaking, too. “I-I know, sweetie. Come h-here.” Yuuri unzipped his jacket, drawing Axel’s tiny body into the space before zipping it around them both. It was a little better.

It was when Yuuri’s hands went numb under the gloves that he realized they were in trouble. This cold wasn’t the kind of cold that one could just grit their teeth through—these freezing temperatures were sure to lead to hypothermia if they remained exposed like this. Yuuri had never stayed outside in weather like this for so long, and with the hole Lilia’s knife had cut in his jacket, he wasn’t in good shape. Axel was shivering horribly against his body, and Yuuri silently cursed. Forget him! Axel was the one in serious danger, here! Her tiny body couldn’t handle such harsh temperatures. If this continued, she’d freeze to death. He really didn’t want to, but…

“Axel,” he said, “let’s climb back down and start a fire.”

Suddenly, as if he’d pushed a button, there came a beeping sound from above. Yuuri turned his head all around for the source, and lo and behold, something was floating down above him. Yuuri recognized the shape and realized that it was a parachute.

Yuuri practically scrambled to untangle himself and climb up the tree for the parachute. Parachutes were gifts paid for by the sponsors they’d worked so hard to earn and directed by… “Viktor,” Yuuri whispered. Viktor would have had to send the parachute. Whatever was in it, Viktor had felt it necessary to send. Yuuri’s hands were freezing, and he barely managed to open the package attached to the parachute with his stiff fingers. In it, there was something black and made of some sort of fabric. Yuuri pulled it out and inspected it and—“Axel!” he quietly exclaimed. “It’s a sleeping bag! Viktor sent us a sleeping bag!”

He carefully climbed back down with the bag and settled back onto the branch with Axel. This time, though, he slipped the black sleeping bag over his and Axel’s legs. “Oh,” said Axel, immediately pulling up the bag as much as she could. “That’s warm.” It was. Whatever the bag was made of, it reflected body heat, and Yuuri already felt the feeling in his toes coming back. He tied the rope around the sleeping bag before shrinking down further into the bag along with Axel until even his face was covered. It was like magic, and Yuuri silently thanked Viktor.

However, then Yuuri thought about it a little bit more. Viktor had sent them a sleeping bag, but why had he waited so long? They’d been freezing for hours. Then Yuuri realized what he’d said and understood the timing. Right before the parachute had appeared, he had suggested lighting a fire; the bag was Viktor’s way of saying ‘No, don’t do that.’ Viktor knew more than Yuuri, so if he thought it was unsafe to light a fire, then something—Careers or otherwise—must’ve been within a decently close radius.

Suddenly, there was another howl, and Yuuri went stiff. That one was closer than the ones before—not right beneath them or anything, but closer than Yuuri would’ve liked. Then there was another, and another. They weren’t getting any closer, luckily, but something about the frequency of them made Yuuri nervous.

Then he heard the cannon.

It didn’t take long for Yuuri to put the pieces together: the howls, Viktor’s timing, the cannon. Whatever made those howls, wolves or whatnot, they had just killed a nearby tribute. Yuuri breathed heavily, thanking his lucky stars that he’d had the good sense to climb a tree. He also silently thanked Viktor for his warning; if they’d lit a fire, they probably would’ve brought the predators right to them.

“Thank you,” Yuuri whispered, hoping that Viktor could somehow hear him.

It took awhile for Yuuri to fall back asleep after the cannon, but he finally managed to get a few more hours in. When he woke, it was light outside again, and he gently shook Axel awake. “Hey, Axel, it’s morning,” he told her.

“Mm, it’s early,” she complained, rubbing her eyes. Yuuri chuckled fondly.

“I know, but we need to find some food today, okay?” he said, and as if on cue, Axel’s stomach rumbled. Yuuri laughed and reached into the pack, offering Axel a dried pear half. She took it gratefully and began nibbling at it. Yuuri took a piece of apple for himself, but he was already hungry for more. He knew they needed to get up and find something heavier to eat than dried fruit and meat. Yuuri untied them from the tree, and he packed up their things. As an afterthought, Yuuri retrieved the parachute from the tree and stuffed the sleeping bag back into it before tying it to his belt at his hip. It was better than lugging it around in his arms.

Yuuri carefully climbed down before holding his arms out. “Here, Axel, jump! I’ll catch you!”

“Okay!” she said before leaping from the tree. Yuuri did catch her, but doing so sent an agonizingly sharp jolt through his left shoulder. He nearly dropped the girl but managed to set her down without incident. He clutched his shoulder. He needed to inspect it again.

Yuuri sat down and removed the clothing over his left arm. The wound wasn’t a pretty sight; it was red and irritated, and it looked like the jolt of catching Axel had freshly opened the wound again. Yuuri winced as he pressed more snow to it. It was important to keep it clean; if it got infected, he could very well die from it. Yuuri found another pine tree and coated the wound with more sap before clothing himself again. He’d just have to hope that the trees were indeed pine, and the sap was indeed useful as an antiseptic. Part of Yuuri thought he had to be on the right track; if he was wrong, then Viktor would have sent medicine by now. Or would he? Yuuri wasn’t actually sure how many sponsors he had. They’d been enough to afford a sleeping bag, but things like that were relatively cheap at the beginning of the games. As time went on, prices would skyrocket, especially for medicine. Yuuri sighed. He’d just have to trust that Viktor was withholding medicine for a reason.

Yuuri finished packing up their things before taking Axel’s hand. “Come on. Let’s keep walking, and we’ll see if we can find food along the way.” They set off on their trek, keeping their eyes peeled.

Unfortunately for them, this Arena was a true frozen wasteland. It looked like meat was their best option, as a few animals still prowled about, but Yuuri didn’t want to stop and set snares just yet; after all, who knew how close the Careers had gotten during the night? There weren’t exactly a lot of plants to forage, but Yuuri was determined. He’d foraged in winter in Twelve, and he could forage here. He stopped, trying to think. What was edible in winter, especially in a coniferous forest? Nuts, probably. Pine nuts were edible when roasted, and there were a few deciduous trees scattered throughout the forest. Maybe there’d be an oak tree, or perhaps they could find some chestnuts or walnuts. Mushrooms were an option, too, but Yuuri would have to be careful not to harvest any he didn’t specifically remember eating before. Under the snow, there might have been some dandelion greens or wild onions. Yuuri frowned. It wasn’t much, but it was a start.

“Axel, we’re going to look for some food around here, just like we do at home,” he told the girl. “Look for mushrooms and nuts on the ground. Make sure you stay where I can see you, though, okay?” Axel nodded eagerly and pranced off a little ways. Yuuri kept an eye on her, but she carefully made sure not to stray too far.

Yuuri got to work, searching the forest floor. He dug through the snow, but most of what he found was dirt. It didn’t seem like much was able to grow here under the cover of the forest. At best, he managed to find a couple of dandelions, which he dug up. “Axel?” he called out. The girl turned to face him a few meters away and pranced back to him with something in her hands. “I found some dandelion greens we can eat,” he said. “What did you find?”

“Mushrooms!” Axel announced happily, holding out her hands. The mushrooms she held, though, were unfamiliar. They weren’t anything they had back in Twelve, and Yuuri searched his memory for that particular mushroom during his edible plants class with Phichit. Nothing rang a bell, though, and Yuuri sighed. “You did a good job, Axel, but I’m not sure if those are poisonous, so we shouldn’t eat them.”

Axel looked dejected, dropping the mushrooms. “Okay.”

Yuuri crouched to her eye level, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay,” he told her. He then had an idea. “Axel, you know the trees that don’t look like pine trees? The ones without leaves?” She nodded. “Find some of those and look for nuts around them. We might be able to make a salad with the greens and some walnuts!”

Axel looked reinvigorated. “Okay!” she exclaimed determinedly.

The two of them got to work, staying close but searching the forest for nut-bearing trees. Finally, they had some luck, and Axel found a black walnut tree. Yuuri congratulated her on her good work, and they gathered as many as they could find. It wasn’t a lot, considering the season, but it was enough for breakfast, at least. Yuuri got to work, taking out the throwing knife. It wasn’t the best for this, but he carefully started cutting open the walnuts. Axel took the meats from the broken nuts and began washing them with melted snow, making a neat pile of them. Once they’d opened and cleaned all the nuts, they split the meats as well as the dandelion greens. Yuuri looked down at the pathetic excuse for a salad he’d made. After the hearty Capitol food, it wasn’t the most appetizing. However, Yuuri’s stomach rumbled, and he took a bite. He’d have to just get used to it.

Once they’d finished their breakfast, Yuuri and Axel continued hiking through the forest. Yuuri wanted to keep a good distance between them and the Careers if they could, and if possible, Yuuri wanted to reach that mountain. After a couple of hours, the trees grew less dense. Yuuri was surprised, thinking they’d already made it in only a day and a half, but that wasn’t the case. Instead, they came to a clearing in the woods with—“A lake!” Axel exclaimed, running toward it. Yuuri slowly approached the body of water behind her.

“More like a pond,” he said. It was too small to be a lake, but it was big enough to cover a fair amount of distance. It was frozen, at least the top of it was, and Yuuri had an idea. “Axel, keep guard and yell if you see anybody. I’m going to get us lunch.”

Yuuri rummaged through his backpack until his found the small wire coil. He searched the ground until he found himself a decent fallen branch. He broke of the thinner end, saving it, and started carving at the thicker part with the knife. Once again, it wasn’t the best knife for this, but it served him well enough. After a decent while, Yuuri inspected his work. He’d carved a decent enough fish hook out of wood. He then took the thinner part of the branch he’d saved and carved a small hole into the end of it before looping the thin, flexible wire through it. He tied the end of the wire to the hook, and with that, he had himself a primitive fishing rod. It wasn’t the best, as it had no reeling system, but it would have to do. Yuuri considered what to use as bait. “Hey, Axel? Dig in the dirt close to the lake and see if you can find any worms or bugs.”

Axel made a face. “Ew!” However, she did as told and started digging.

Yuuri, meanwhile, approached the ice. He carefully stepped a foot onto it, seeing how much weight he could put. A decent amount seemed to be frozen, though, and he was able to step out onto the ice without incident. He continued carefully testing the ice the way his father had taught him, creeping closer to the middle of the pond until he determined that it was dangerous to go any further. He took a few steps back before settling down and taking out the knife yet again. He felt resourceful, using something like a throwing knife for so many unintended projects. This time, he began carving away at the ice. It was a long and tedious process, considering he was doing it with a small knife and not a saw, but eventually he managed to cut a 6 inch or so hole, carefully prying out the cut ice. He only managed to get a layer out, though, and he had to repeat the process a few times until he got through to water. The pond was murky, and Yuuri just hoped there were actually fish in there.

Yuuri returned to Axel, who had managed to gather a small pile of worms. He instructed her to keep watch at the shore, not wanting to risk putting more weight on the ice, and returned to his fishing hole with the bait and rod. From there, it was easy: he sunk his baited hook into the water and waited, carefully holding the line and feeling for any tugs. It took a while, but finally, there was the telltale pull, and Yuuri pulled the line up by hand. The fish he’d caught was too small to eat, but he set it aside. Small fish were bait for bigger fish. He continued like that for what must have been hours, first catching smaller fish with the bugs and worms, and then he moved on to bigger catches. With pieces he’d cut off the small fish, he finally started reeling in bigger ones. Not trout or anything so large as that, but fish big enough to eat. Once he had a decent pile of them, he gathered up both the fish and the bait in the parachute fabric as well as his homemade pole and headed back to shore.

At the edge of the lake, Axel sat patiently. “Yuuri!” she exclaimed, jumping up when she saw him. “Wow! You caught a lot of fish!” Yuuri grinned, cutting away the fabric of the parachute full of fish and setting it down.

“Yep! We’ll have to wait until it starts getting dark to make a cooking fire, though.” Yuuri looked around, seeing what there was in the area. He spotted a withered cattail and grinned. “Why don’t we gather some roots to go with the fish? See those cattails? Help me dig up their roots.”

Together, Yuuri and Axel dug up a small pile of cattail roots, putting them with the fish. In the process of digging up the roots, Yuuri found some freshwater mussels as well and used the knife to scrape them up. After that, the two of them spent the day preparing the food to cook. Yuuri used the knife to cut and scale the fish, and Axel picked out the bones. Yuuri peeled the cattail roots and cut open the mussels, which Axel was happy to dig the meat out of. When they were done, it was dusk, and Yuuri gathered wood and dried needles. Using the friction technique he’d learned during training, Yuuri got a small fire going. He took out the little pot from their backpack and filled it with snow before setting it over the fire. The snow melted into water and then started to boil, and Yuuri added several fish bits, mussel meats, and cattail roots, making a makeshift version of a seafood and potato stew. He let them boil for a good while until he felt like they were done. The seafood was plenty cooked, and Yuuri and Axel let it cool to a warm temperature before eating from the pot with their hands. When they were done with the first pot, Yuuri made another batch before putting out the fire. He and Axel ate their dinner, and it wasn’t Capitol food, but it was a decent meal. Finally full to satisfaction, Yuuri wrapped up the rest of the fish and cattail roots and put them in the backpack for later. The fish and mussels wouldn’t keep super long, but they could have it for tomorrow, at least.

It was getting dark, so Yuuri and Axel got settled into another tree for the night. Yuuri watched the sky for the day’s deaths and discovered it had been Seung-Gil who was supposedly killed by the wolves the previous night. Yuuri shivered, thinking of Phichit. However, with their new sleeping bag and bellies full, it was easy to doze off this time, and soon both Yuuri and Axel fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a boring end, but I felt the need to set a tone at this point in the story. Survival is just as important as drama during the games. Think of it as the calm before the storm ahaha. Also I basically have to google everything relating to survival skills for this fic because I am a suburban 20-year-old girl, not a mountain man, so please forgive inaccuracies. I'm trying my best to make it believable, but if I accidentally include something not factually correct, don't be afraid to call me out lol I won't be mad
> 
> I drew some art for this chapter because I'm on a roll. You can find that [here.](https://noname-chan.tumblr.com/post/615980499379404800/an-uncolored-one-this-time) It's not colored this time, and it's just a couple scenes from this chapter, but some of you said you like my drawings, so I'm happy to continue them!
> 
> Anyway, this was sort of a chapter setting up the basics of how Yuuri and Axel are handling the wilderness. It'll be more action packed and such after this, so forgive me for the slow chapter. Let me know what you think, and as always, thank you for reading!


	11. Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Axel run into a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop! Sorry for the wait! This chapter's a little longer than usual!

Yuuri woke in the morning to the sound of a cannon. He snapped awake, frantically looking around, but Axel was safe and sound in his arms, softly snoring. He took a deep breath, letting his shoulders droop. He wondered who had died. Chances were, whoever it was had been a victim of the Careers; they hadn’t killed anyone that Yuuri knew of since the Bloodbath, so it was only a matter of time before they started finding people on their hunt. Assuming that the Careers had found someone, though, that meant that they had finally caught up to the traveling tributes after the Bloodbath. Yuuri didn’t like that; he and Axel had spent a good portion of the previous day gathering food, so the Careers could’ve covered a considerable distance in that time.

“Hey, Axel, wake up,” Yuuri prodded the girl. “We need to get going now.” Axel rubbed her eyes and silently nodded. Yuuri packed up the supplies, and he and Axel each ate a few raw mussels for breakfast. Consuming raw fish wasn’t necessarily the best idea, but there was no way Yuuri was setting a fire right now, and he’d prefer to not have to stop for a good while. They drank some water and carefully climbed down from the tree they were in before taking each other’s hands and beginning to walk. They made their way into the clearing and around the large pond. From the clearing, Yuuri could see the mountain, much closer now than it had been back at the Cornucopia. He led Axel into the woods on the far side of the pond in the direction of the mountain.

It was dark again. The snow was starting to fall a bit more heavily, floating down in large flakes. Additionally, the trees seemed denser here, and while on one hand they helped shield Yuuri and Axel from the snowfall, they also blocked out the natural light from above. Yuuri found the atmosphere a bit creepy; after all, they were being hunted down like animals by Yuri and his pack. The good news was that the forest floor was covered in dead, dry underbrush, so Yuuri would hear them coming. In the meantime, Yuuri kept his eye out for more food. He didn’t want to stop for another fishing trip, so if they could forage as they went, it would be ideal.

Yuuri stepped over a rotting log and spotted some mushrooms against a tree. These, unlike the ones from the previous day, were familiar. Yuuri had seen these growing in Twelve many times, and he knew they were safe to eat. Yuuri knelt down and began harvesting the mushrooms.

Then, he heard a twig snap behind him.

Yuuri whipped around in terror, instinctively grabbing Axel and pulling her behind him. He grabbed the knife, holding it out defensively toward the noise. However, he didn’t see anything. It was quiet, and for a moment, Yuuri thought it might have been an animal, but animals didn’t make steps that loud. Yuuri’s next instinct was to run. While he doubted it was the Careers considering it had been a single twig snapping and not a chorus of footsteps, that didn’t mean it wasn’t a threat. It could have been Otabek or even a Career that hadn’t joined the pack. However, before Yuuri could move to make a run for it, there was suddenly several more footsteps rapidly approaching them. Yuuri grit his teeth and guarded himself with the knife, prepared to yell at Axel to run.

However, then there was a rustling and a dark-skinned boy emerged from the trees. Yuuri’s jaw dropped, and he immediately ran toward the boy, dropping his defenses altogether and wrapping him in a hug. “Phichit!” he exclaimed.

“Yuuri?” Phichit gasped, hugging him back tightly. “Oh, thank god it was you! I heard voices, so I tried to hide, but I accidentally snapped a twig. I figured running was my best bet, but I didn’t think I’d run into you!”

The two of them pulled back, and Axel bounded over, wrapping Phichit’s legs in her arms. “Phi!” she excitedly greeted. Phichit grinned and ruffled her hair.

“Good to see you, too, especially now. I’m sure you saw, but I don’t exactly have my ally anymore.” Phichit’s face fell.

Yuuri put a sympathetic hand on his friend’s shoulder. “What happened?” he asked softly. “I know Sara was too smart to run into the Bloodbath.”

Phichit shook his head. “She didn’t, but the guy from Two, JJ, was faster than her. She barely even made the tree line.” Phichit’s hands were shaking.

Yuuri took Phichit’s hands in his, giving him a genuine look. “I’m so sorry. She was such a kind, intelligent woman. She never deserved to be here.”

Phichit smiled a bit bitterly. “Does anyone?” Yuuri fumbled to formulate a response to that, but Phichit shook his head again. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just been tough. She was a friend.”

Yuuri could understand that. He took Axel’s hand in his. Then, he changed the topic. “Have you managed to catch any animals? Knowing you, I doubt you’ve had too much trouble foraging, but we have some freshwater mussels you can eat raw if you’d like some meat.”

Phichit’s face lit up. “Really?”

The three of them sat together by a tree, sharing what food they had. Phichit had done a better job foraging than Yuuri, but that made sense from a District 11 tribute. He’d gathered a collection of different nuts, some mushrooms, and even crabapples. “Where did you find a crabapple tree?” Yuuri asked.

“It was a while back. I found it midday yesterday, and I’ve been walking since then, so don’t get hopeful about going back for it,” Phichit told him. Yuuri hummed. At least he knew that those trees existed within the forest now. Phichit gave Yuuri and Axel half of his spoils. More than half, actually—Yuuri tried to protest, but Phichit reasoned that he had two mouths to feed with a wink. Yuuri likewise portioned half of his remaining fish and roots as well as the dried beef, fruit, and new mushrooms to Phichit. After that, they told each other what supplies they had managed to grab from the Cornucopia. Phichit had nabbed a backpack as well, but his contained much different supplies than Yuuri’s. In it was a pair of night vision glasses, a folded plastic tarp—“It reflects heat,” Phichit said, “I never could have survived the night without it”—more rope, a bottle, and an extra pair of socks. That last one Phichit shared verbally, as he was wearing them. Yuuri told Phichit about his supplies as well as the fishing pole he’d made and the sleeping bag from Viktor.

Phichit’s jaw dropped. “Wow, you already got a parachute? Lucky! The sponsors must love you. I haven’t gotten anything.” He looked a bit dejected.

Yuuri didn’t hesitate to offer, “Well, you can share ours, if you want. It might be a tight fit, and maybe a little difficult if we’re all in a tree, but—“

Phichit cut him off with a grin and an eyebrow waggle. “Now, now, Yuuri. I know you’ve got Viktor, but if you want to cuddle with me, you can just ask!” Yuuri rolled his eyes and smacked Phichit on the arm. Phichit laughed. “I’m just kidding. Don’t worry about it, though. I wouldn’t want to risk falling out of a tree with the wolves prowling about at night. You know, both the human and nonhuman ones,” Phichit joked. “Besides, like I said, my tarp reflects heat. I’ll be just fine.”

Yuuri, Phichit, and Axel talked for a while longer before deciding to get moving again. “We might be a bit slow,” Yuuri warned. “I can’t carry Axel for too long because my shoulder is hurt.”

Phichit raised an eyebrow. “I was wondering when you were going to say something about why your jacket is bloody. What happened?”

“Lilia and a knife,” Yuuri explained shortly. Phichit nodded.

“No worries. I can carry Axel. My supplies aren’t too heavy, so she can wear my backpack, and I can carry her piggyback style.” Axel seemed excited about the prospect. With Phichit carrying Axel, the three of them were able to set off at a quicker pace. It occurred to Yuuri that they’d never even officially agreed to be allies.

The woods just got denser. The trees were so close together, there was hardly any snow on the ground anymore, and it was horribly dark. The trio pressed on, though, agreeing that the mountain seemed like a good bet. They might be able to escape the wolves, and high ground meant less opportunity for Careers to sneak up on them. As they trekked, though, Yuuri’s shoulder began to bother him. He’d kept his backpack on the uninjured one, but the wound was beginning to pulse with pain. Said pain was spreading from the gash itself, and that worried Yuuri. It was intense, too, and when Yuuri winced after lifting his arm to cut down some dead vines, Phichit took notice.

“Yuuri, let me see your shoulder,” Phichit demanded, putting down Axel. Yuuri didn’t really have an argument, so he unzipped his jacket and pulled down his shirt, exposing the wound.

It looked bad. The entire area was red and inflamed, and while the wound didn’t yet ooze puss, it was obvious: it was getting infected. Yuuri shook his head. “I tried to keep it clean, and I used pine sap to try and ward off infection, but… I didn’t know it had gotten this bad,” Yuuri said.

Phichit’s brow was furrowed, and he seemed deep in thought. “Sap was a good start, but it mostly only protects the wound. You need something with antibacterial properties.” Phichit tapped his chin. “Normally, I’d have just the thing, but this place isn’t exactly flourishing with plants. However, I may have an idea.” The man began looking around him, biting his bottom lip. “Hm. I might have to look around, though. I wish they had Mockingjays here, but it’s too cold. Besides, the Peacekeepers are always trying to kill off their nests back home, so I don’t think the Capitol likes them much.” Phichit shrugged. “They’d make a good way to signal, but I guess we’ll have to do without. Stay here; I’ll be back.”

Yuuri shook his head immediately. “No way! You shouldn’t go off alone in these woods. You could get lost, or worse, caught. We stand a better chance staying together.”

Phichit smiled. “You’re sweet for the concern, but no. It’d be faster if I went alone, and we need to treat that wound as soon as we can. Just wait here; I won’t go farther than I have to.” Yuuri wanted to protest, but Phichit patted Yuuri’s uninjured shoulder before turning and walking into the woods.

Yuuri huffed, walking over to a tree and taking a seat at its base. Axel silently joined him, taking his hand in hers as if to comfort him. Yuuri smiled at her reassuringly, but inside he was anxious. Anything could happen to Phichit while he was off doing…whatever he was doing. What was he doing, anyway? It had to do with treating Yuuri’s shoulder, but he hadn’t explained. Yuuri sighed, leaning his head back against the tree. He supposed he’d have to wait and see.

After a good while, Yuuri was really starting to get nervous. Why wasn’t Phichit back yet? He’d said he wouldn’t go far. Had he been found by something? Was he stuck somewhere? Was he hurt? A cannon hadn’t gone off, so he wasn’t dead, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t fallen out of a tree and broken his leg!

The sound of footsteps came crashing through the woods nearby, and Yuuri leapt to his feet, holding his knife up just in case. However, as it had been earlier, it was only Phichit, and Yuuri heaved a sigh of relief. “Oh thank god,” Yuuri breathed. “Where were you? I was worried!”

Phichit smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry ‘bout that. It took me longer than I thought to find one, but I found it!” he proclaimed cheerfully.

Yuuri raised an eyebrow. “What is ‘it’?”

Phichit held out…a piece of wood? Noticing Yuuri’s confused expression, Phichit explained, “It’s white oak bark. It can help fight infection. Get me that pot you have. I also need some pine sap, but we’re practically surrounded by those, so at least I won’t have to go on another journey for that.” Yuuri did as told and retrieved the pot from his backpack. Phichit took it and trotted over to one of the conifers, squeezing sap from it as Yuuri had done into the pot. However, after that, Phichit took the bark and broke it up into tiny pieces and added them to the sap. “Give me your knife,” Phichit said, and Yuuri handed it to him. Phichit used it to mix the sap and bark, grinding down the wood even more. When that was done, he wiped the knife off and handed it back to Yuuri. “Come here, Yuuri,” Phichit instructed, and Yuuri scooted over to him. Phichit scooped some of the remaining snow from the ground and pressed it Yuuri’s wound. Yuuri winced, but the focused expression on Phichit’s face convinced Yuuri not to protest. Phichit then removed his glove and began applying the sap and bark mixture to Yuuri’s wound with his fingers. When he was done, he sat back and sighed. “Alright, that should do it. It’s not the best, but it’s better than just sap. The bark might be able to fight off the infection that’s setting in if you’re lucky.”

Yuuri nodded and covered his shoulder again, putting his jacket back on. “Thank you,” he told Phichit, and the man grinned back.

“What are friends for?”

The three of them continued their travels. As they went, they found another nut-bearing tree and got a good portion of chestnuts from it. Given their decent rations, they didn’t have to stop for food and continued trekking long into the day. Yuuri was unsure how far they’d gotten, but when it started getting dark, they had to stop early. The woods were dark as it was, and the early nightfall of winter meant that traveling any longer was dangerous. Using the dusk for cover, Yuuri and Phichit started a fire, this time roasting the rest of the fish on sticks while boiling the remaining mussels and roots as well as some of the mushrooms. Phichit cut open some of the nuts and placed them close to the fire to roast for dessert.

Yuuri portioned out the food to himself, Phichit, and Axel, and the three of them ate heartily. As good as the previous night’s dinner had been, this one was even better, having Phichit by their side. The three of them laughed and joked as they shared their meal, telling stories from their childhoods.

When Yuuri told Phichit about his and Axel’s shared childhood game of Hide and Seek, though, Phichit lit up. “Oh! I used to play that with Sara and Michele all the time!” he exclaimed.

Yuuri was confused. “Wait… You knew Sara before this?” he asked cautiously after a moment of silence. He didn’t want to trigger any grief in Phichit, but Yuuri realized he didn’t know much of the man’s background.

Phichit nodded, smiling a little and looking into the fire. “Yeah. We weren’t best friends or anything, but I went to school with her and her brother. They were closer to each other than anyone else. Michele was very protective over Sara, actually. You wouldn’t believe how long it took for Michele to let a boy near his precious sister!”

Yuuri tilted his head, another question coming out before he could stop it. “Why didn’t Michele volunteer, then?” Phichit froze, and Yuuri immediately regretted the question. “Ah, it’s okay! You don’t have to answer that—“

“No, it’s okay,” Phichit said, tracing a stick in the dirt. “I think the reason Michele didn’t volunteer was because I was the one chosen. He loved Sara more than anything, but he trusted me, too. I know he wanted to volunteer, but… Sara never would have forgiven him if he sacrificed himself for her. She wanted to live her life with her brother, even if he drove her a little crazy sometimes.” Phichit laughed a little before his face dropped. “Michele knew I would’ve protected Sara if I could’ve. I was just…” Phichit swallowed audibly, his voice cracking, “too late.”

Yuuri was at a loss of what to say. He understood how Phichit felt, having that sense of responsibility toward Sara. Yuuri felt the same way about Axel; that was the whole reason he’d volunteered. For Phichit to lose someone he wanted to protect… He must have been devastated. Yuuri opened his mouth to speak, but to his surprise, Axel beat him to it. “Phi is a nice person,” she said, looking at their friend with a small smile. “Sara would be happy you found us.” The statement was simple, but Yuuri understood was Axel was trying to say: Sara may have been gone, but she would’ve wanted Phichit to keep going. She would’ve been delighted to have found out that Phichit had met with their friends.

Phichit stared at Axel in astonishment, blinking twice. Then, he cracked a grin. “Wow. I didn’t know you were so smart, Axel. Maybe I should start coming to you for advice,” he teased, poking her stomach. She giggled, and Yuuri smiled at the two of them.

Phichit and Yuuri shared a comfortable silence as they finished eating and put the fire out. They packed up some roasted nuts for the next morning, and together, they climbed up a tree, taking separate but nearby branches. Yuuri snuggled up with Axel and waited for the deaths recap. To Yuuri’s surprise, the tribute that had fallen that morning was the boy from Nine, the one who had been confessed to by the boy from Ten. The boy from Ten was still alive for now, so Yuuri wondered what had happened. He couldn’t imagine that the two boys weren’t allies, so how had one died but not the other? Yuuri’s heart ached for the boy from Ten, who was surely devastated right now. That whole love confession had seemed a bit corny to Yuuri, but he’d seen the way those boys had looked at each other. Viktor crossed Yuuri’s mind, and he shrunk down into his sleeping bag. It took him a while, but he managed to fall asleep.

The next morning, Yuuri and Phichit made quick work of preparing for the day. They split up the a portion of the roasted nuts between the three of them for breakfast and filled their water bottles with snow. Phichit carried Axel again, and the three of them began walking. The day was uneventful. They came across one of the crabapple trees Phichit had mentioned and added some more to their rations. The snow seemed to be getting progressively heavier, but the trees were so dense above them that it hardly mattered. No cannons went off, and there were no footsteps or any sort of commotion. Really, it should’ve been a boring day, but with Phichit and Axel by his side, Yuuri felt comfortable. He couldn’t imagine how terrifying all of this would have been alone. That thought was enough to cement his resolve that he’d made the right decision in volunteering for these games. Without Yuuri, Axel would have likely died in the Bloodbath, and even if she miraculously survived that, she would have frozen to death that night for sure. Axel needed Yuuri, and being honest? Yuuri needed Axel, too. She was a dear person to him, and she was the only piece of home Yuuri had in this place. When Yuuri looked at her laughing at Phichit’s jokes, he couldn’t help but smile. Axel was keeping Yuuri sane through this; she kept him from breaking down.

As it had every night in this Arena, it got dark early, and the team settled down for the night. Having cooked the plants the previous day, they didn’t set a fire and instead climbed a tree early on before eating. The less time on the ground, the better. Yuuri chewed the nuts and mushrooms in contemplation. A part of him was anxious; there had been no deaths today. The Gamemakers never let the games go without casualties for too long. One day was probably the limit, so if somebody didn’t die soon, something horrible was likely to happen to either push the tributes closer together or just outright kill them. Sometimes it was natural disasters. One year, the Arena had been flooded, and a woman from Four had won because she was the best swimmer. Other times, the Gamemakers set muttations on people. Giant, monstrous lizards and large, predatory cats—the Gamemakers never sent in anything pleasant. Yuuri had seen the deaths over the years, and he remembered the night when Seung-Gil had fallen to the wolves.

Yuuri looked at Phichit out the corner of his eye. His friend had liked the District 8 male, hadn’t he? “I’m sorry about Seung-Gil,” Yuuri said after a moment of contemplation. He’d considered not bringing it up, but it likely wasn’t as sensitive a topic as Sara was.

Phichit shrugged. “It had to happen. I’m not upset. He never liked me much, anyway.” Phichit laughed a little. “I tried to join him in archery practice during training; he didn’t like that and kept trying to get rid of me. I think I grew on him eventually, though. He gave me a few of his arrows when I ran out.” Phichit wore a small smile.

Yuuri listened and thought. He hadn’t known much about Seung-Gil. Until the interviews, he hadn’t even known the man’s name. From that, though, Yuuri had gathered that the man was cold, unemotional, and unfriendly. It was jarring picturing him shooting arrows with Phichit, of all people. Then again, Yuuri had never pictured himself with someone like Viktor. He sighed. Love was strange.

Phichit seemed to read Yuuri’s thoughts, though, his lips blooming into a cheeky grin. “So, you’re going to marry Viktor if you win the games, huh?” Phichit said offhandedly.

Yuuri almost choked on a walnut. He coughed, trying not to spit it out, and swallowed before looking and Phichit with hot cheeks. “W-What?”

Phichit laughed. “Come on, Yuuri, nobody missed that incident with the ring. I can’t believe you actually did it. When you pulled the whole love confession thing, I thought that maybe you were just trying to play an angle, but you really made that man fall for you, didn’t you?”

Yuuri looked down at the top of Axel’s sleeping head. He didn’t know how to respond to that. Sure, Viktor had given him the ring, but wasn’t it more of a good luck charm? Viktor knew that Yuuri was going to die in the Arena, so it wasn’t like the man was emotionally investing himself in Yuuri. That would be foolish, and Viktor wasn’t a stupid man. Yuuri shook his head. “It isn’t like that,” he told his friend. “Viktor and I… No, it’s impossible. There’s no way someone like him would love someone like me. Besides, I…” Yuuri left the sentence unfinished, but the implication was there. Yuuri wasn’t planning on coming out of this alive.

Phichit hummed. “I think Antony was right,” he said.

Yuuri raised an eyebrow. “Pardon?”

“You seriously underestimate your own charm,” Phichit stated.

Yuuri didn’t answer, ending the conversation there. The anthem played, but there were no faces in the sky tonight. Yuuri was tense. He had no idea what the Gamemakers might throw at them next. Worrying about it right now was pointless, though; if Yuuri wanted to be able to take on the next day, he needed sleep. Snuggling up with Axel, Yuuri closed his eyes and forced his mind to go blank until he nodded off.

The next morning, the trio shared a breakfast of apples and set out as normal. After what must have been a couple hours, though, the trees started to thin out. Yuuri wondered if perhaps they had found another lake, but that wasn’t the case. “We made it!” Phichit exclaimed. Before them a little ways off was the mountain. It was intimidating this close, the trees only covering it to a certain point before dissipating altogether and leaving the mountain caked with ice and snow. Yuuri and Phichit continued to approach it, but the more Yuuri looked at the beast, the more he thought. Maybe climbing this wasn’t a good idea. After all, higher altitudes meant colder weather, and Yuuri had never climbed a mountain before. The two of them had ropes, but did they have the right supplies to take on a challenge like that? Additionally, they wouldn’t have the cover of trees anymore or the safety of branches to sleep in. What if the wolves were on the mountain, too? The more Yuuri thought it over, the worse of an idea this sounded.

Yuuri continued considering it until they reached near the end of the trees, the ground turning into an incline. He weighed the pros and cons, but he already began to notice something bad: the snow was falling heavily. It wasn’t as noticeable in the forest, but now that the trees were thinning, they didn’t have protection from the precipitation anymore. Yuuri wondered if a storm was coming. If that was the case, then climbing the mountain was a terrible idea. Yuuri was just about to voice this and suggest they turned back when he heard it.

 _Footsteps._ Loud, crashing footsteps.

As if sharing a brain, Yuuri and Phichit ducked behind trees away from the sound. They were a short ways off but approaching rapidly. Yuuri counted one, two…five pairs of footsteps and felt the blood drain from his face. There was only one thing that could have created sounds like that. Yuuri and Phichit looked at each other silently, each contemplating what to do. If they had run as soon as they heard the steps, they might have escaped, but it was too late now; the footsteps were so close that their running would surely be heard. Phichit pointed in the direction they had come from, and Yuuri nodded. If they went slow and quietly, they had a chance of creeping back into the denser woods and not being noticed at all. The two of them carefully began to sneak back in that direction. Yuuri’s eyes darted between the direction of the sound and the ground, watching for twigs. However, then he realized something with a sinking feeling: the snow. He was leaving footprints in the snow.

Yuuri waved to Phichit and pointed at the footsteps, but suddenly there was a loud crack, and the two of them swiftly pressed themselves behind trees again. The footsteps were much closer now, so much so that Yuuri was holding his breath as he heard a voice. “Fuck off, JJ, I’m not sharing him with you!” _Yuri._

“Yuri, don’t you think you’re taking this a little far?” a woman’s voice, Mila most likely, asked. “I mean, I understand you hate the boy, but isn’t chasing him down like this, y’know, a waste of our time? Just let the boy die on his own. He has that little girl, so I doubt he’ll last long.” Yuuri realized with a horrible lurch of his gut that they were talking about _him_.

“He embarrassed me, hag!” Yuri’s voice snapped. “Some meek, wimpy coal miner from District 12 coming in, wooing the Capitol with his bullshit ‘Eros’ façade, and then scoring a 9 who knows the fuck how? It’s humiliating to us! We worked our entire lives for our training scores, and that _pig_ just waltzed in and upstaged us. It would be embarrassing if we didn’t kill him now.”

There was a sigh. “Yura, you’re letting your pride get to your head,” Mila said. “I know you, JJ, and Isabella volunteered, but Lilia and I didn’t want to be put in the games. She aged out of it years ago, and this was going to be my last year in the reaping. I was supposed to live a life of luxury, and instead, I got put in here. I just want to get this over with and go home.”

Yuuri could practically hear Yuri’s sneer. “You’re pathetic. How weak are you, being afraid of the games? This is about glory! You think I’m being too prideful? Well, tell that to all the people watching me right now and rooting for me to die! They always said I’d never win the games at the academy. They said I was too small. I came here to prove them wrong, and I’m not going to let some fucking pig from District 12 of all places make me look weak.” There were stomping footsteps coming toward them, and Yuuri’s breath hitched. The steps stopped. “What the hell? There’s footsteps!” Yuri shouted, and Yuuri felt ice-crusted panic creep up his throat.

“Footsteps?” came another voice, JJ. “I don’t believe you. Let me see.”

“I’m not a fucking idiot like you, Leroy!” Yuri spat. “Look! Right there!”

“Well, I’ll be damned,” came a woman’s voice, Isabella. “There really are footprints. I wonder who left them?”

“Whoever it was,” suddenly answered Lilia, “they’re close. It’s snowing heavily; if they were far, their tracks would have been covered by now.”

Yuuri looked at Phichit who met his eyes with a look of sheer panic. The Career’s footsteps began to approach them again, slowly this time. Phichit and Yuuri did the only thing they could; like Yuuri had during the Bloodbath, they creeped around the sides of their trees, hoping the Careers would see the footsteps stop and leave. They grew closer and closer until those predatory footsteps were right on the other side of the tree. Yuuri breathed as quietly as he could, trying not to hyperventilate. He grabbed his knife.

Then, the footsteps stopped. There were several moments of silence, and Yuuri could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He waited and waited, praying that the Careers would give up and go away.

Then, the voice was right beside him. “Found you, _pig_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O no. Yuuri, Phichit, babies...  
> It was nice to write their interactions, but oh boi, the next chapter is gonna be interesting.
> 
> As has become the usual, I drew some [art](https://noname-chan.tumblr.com/post/616244243137265664/cant-stop-me-nooooowwwww) for this chapter!
> 
> Aaand that's about all I have to say. Still just doing schoolwork and writing in between. Be patient with me lol  
> As usual, let me know what you think! :-)


	12. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Careers close in on Yuuri, Phichit, and Axel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all thought I was dead, but surpriiiiise!

Yuuri acted fast, swinging his knife and slicing the arm that held the sword. Yuri cursed, dropping the weapon and clutching his hand. Yuuri didn’t stop to think and started running, Phichit close beside him with Axel on his back. Unfortunately for them, the Careers were downhill, so they had to run out of the tree line and up the mountain. They found a sort of path, but after the Careers’ initial stun wore off and Yuri was able to pick up his sword, those crashing footsteps were not terribly far behind.

Yuuri and Phichit had one advantage: rather than five, they were only two people, albeit carrying a child, so they were quicker on their feet when pumped with adrenaline-fueled terror. They managed to gain some distance, but it wouldn’t last long. The Careers were more athletic, and Yuuri knew that as soon as he and Phichit began to grow tired, the pack would easily catch up. For now, they were at a standstill, or so Yuuri thought. Then he realized where they were: on their right, just above, was a ledge. It was too high to climb on their own, but together… “Phichit, I’ll give you a boost!” Yuuri called out, stopping and lacing his fingers together to form a platform. Phichit stepped in Yuuri’s hands, and Yuuri used that adrenaline to lift Phichit up, allowing the other man to get ahold of the ledge and pull himself and Axel up.

“Yuuri, hurry!” Phichit cried, holding out his hand. Yuuri grabbed it, and Phichit quickly pulled him up.

Yuuri knew they didn’t have much time before the Careers caught up, though. He looked around frantically. They were at the base of a steep incline, but it was rocky and full of places to get a foot hold. “Climb!” Yuuri shouted, and he and Phichit began to scale the incline. Below them, the Careers caught up.

“Someone give me a boost!” demanded Yuri from a ways below at the bottom of the ledge. “Leroy, get me up there!”

“No way!” argued JJ. “Like I said, I want Twelve’s head!”

Yuri and JJ began to bicker below them, and Yuuri panted as he continued to climb. He’d been able to ignore it at first thanks to the adrenaline, but his shoulder was starting to emit jolts of horrible pain, and Yuuri knew he couldn’t do this too long. Above him a good ways, he saw another ledge and called to Phichit, “Get up to that ledge! We can run from there.”

By the time the Careers stopped fighting, determining that Mila would give Yuri a boost onto the ledge and JJ would give a boost to Isabella instead, Yuuri, Phichit, and Axel were dangerously high up. If they fell from here, they’d be lucky to get away without a broken neck. Yuuri just kept climbing, though, having no other choice. Far below Yuuri, Yuri shouted, “I’m coming for you, pig!” and started climbing along with Isabella. Yuuri and Phichit were about three-quarters of the way to the top, and Yuri and Isabella were gaining on them. The Careers were much faster climbers, being uninjured and without a child to carry. However, as Yuuri reached the top, he heard a sudden shriek and the sound of rocks crumbling. Shortly after, there was a sickening crack. Yuuri pulled himself onto the ledge and helped Phichit climb up as well before looking over the side. Yuri was about halfway up, but he had stopped climbing to look down. Far below on the first ledge was Isabella’s broken body, oozing blood.

There was silence before a strangled cry of “ _Isabella!_ ” from JJ. He made Mila give him a boost onto the ledge and cradled Isabella’s body, but the boom of the cannon signified she was gone.

Yuri snarled. “I told you not to let her climb up!” he yelled down to JJ.

JJ snapped, tears evident in his voice as he screamed, “Fuck you, you premature fucking brat! She’s dead!”

Yuri lost it. “What the _fuck_ did you just call me?!” he shrieked in pure rage.

“Will you _stop it_ , you two?!” bellowed Mila.

As Careers began arguing again, this time having a furious screaming match, Yuuri and Phichit got up and began to run. With the Careers distracted, maybe they had a chance. Then, however, there was a particularly loud screech from Yuri followed by a deep rumble up above. For a second, Yuuri thought it was thunder. It was the first few rocks falling above that made him realize the reality.

Yuuri’s eyes shot wide as the snow and rocks started cascading down the path in an impenetrable wall toward them. “ _Run!”_ he screamed. He and Phichit began sprinting in the opposite way, away from the avalanche. It was raining down rocks from above, and Yuuri shouted out as he was pummeled with them. Far below, he heard the screams of the Careers and realized that the avalanche was raining down the entire side of the mountain. Ahead, Yuuri and Phichit reached the edge of the ledge they’d initially climbed up on and had to leap several meters onto another one. However, as Phichit hit the ground behind Yuuri, a large rock fell from above and struck him in the head. Yuuri heard the cry of pain and barely managed to grab Phichit’s hand in time as the other man stumbled over the side of the ledge.

The avalanche roared down from the other ledge, pouring into the gap Phichit was dangling in. Everything below was a chaotic flurry of snow and rocks, the bottom ledge having been overtaken by the river of ice and stone. Yuuri cried out in pain as Phichit and Axel both dangled from his injured arm. His body was pressed to the ground, and he grabbed Phichit’s hand with his other arm and feebly tried to pull him up with both hands. However, it was no use. The jolt of Phichit falling had torn open Yuuri’s shoulder wound again, and the pain was searing. Yuuri could barely manage to hold on, let alone pull Phichit and Axel up.

Phichit seemed to realize Yuuri’s struggle, and in a sickeningly horrifying moment, the other man smiled. “Axel! Grab Yuuri’s hand!” Phichit commanded.

Yuuri realized what he was doing and shook his head rapidly. “No! No, No, Phichit, please, no—“

Axel grabbed onto Yuuri’s hand, and Phichit smiled up at Yuuri sadly. “Do what you came here to do,” he told Yuuri firmly. “I believe in you.” Before Yuuri could do or say anything, Phichit let go of Yuuri’s hands and plummeted into the avalanche of snow below.

“ _Phichit!_ ” Yuuri screamed as another earth-shaking rumble came from behind him. Axel dangled from Yuuri’s grasp with Phichit bag still on her back, and Yuuri was able to pull her up onto the ledge as the tears started streaming down his face.

“Yuuri!” Axel called out worriedly, and Yuuri realized they didn’t have time to mourn here. Yuuri scooped Axel up with his good arm and started running again, sprinting on a downhill path toward the bottom of the mountain as another wave of rocks and snow began raining down behind him.

Yuuri didn’t know how long he ran. He kept running and running until the rumbling grew faint and the rocks stopped falling from overhead. He didn’t know where he was, but he was near the tree line again when he spotted an opening in the rocks of the mountain. On instinct, Yuuri went toward it, slowing down to a brisk walk. He poked his head into the opening and found it was an entrance to a cave. It wasn’t big, but Yuuri didn’t think he could climb a tree right now with the state of his shoulder, so it was a good option. Yuuri set down Axel and collapsed in a blur of pain. Everything went black.

When Yuuri awoke, his head was in Axel’s lap, and she was stroking his hair. Yuuri slowly blinked open his eyes, taking in his surroundings. Right, they were in a cave. He gradually remembered it all: the Careers chasing them, the avalanche, Phichit…

It was dark. “Axel, how long was I asleep?” he asked, sitting up.

“A few hours, I think,” the girl answered. “It’s almost nighttime.”

Yuuri carefully clambered to his feet and stumbled out of the cave. Sure enough, it was dusk. The snow was falling heavily, even more so than earlier, and Yuuri could barely see the sky. He sat down in the entrance of the cave and waited, though. He needed to see it for himself.

After a while, the anthem played, and the projection was very faint in the sky. The first face projected was Isabella’s. Yuuri remembered the sickening crack of her body hitting the ground and shuddered. She was a terrifying woman, but Yuuri wasn’t happy to see anyone go like that. The next face projected into the sky was Mila’s. This took Yuuri by surprise for a moment, but then he realized it made sense. She must have died in the avalanche. She’d been in the path of it, and it had been too loud for Yuuri to have heard a cannon. Part of Yuuri was relieved that yet another Career was no longer a threat; the other part of Yuuri felt sick that he could think such a thing.

Finally, up in the sky was Phichit’s face, and an icy rock formed in Yuuri’s stomach. Then it crept up his esophagus, and the next thing Yuuri knew, he was throwing up into the snow. He heaved as the anthem faded and Phichit’s face disappeared, and the tears began spilling from Yuuri’s eyes. Phichit was gone. Phichit was _dead_ , and it was all Yuuri’s fault. If Yuuri had just been able to pull him up, if he hadn’t suggested they go to the mountain, if he’d never allied himself with Phichit in the first place, his friend would still be alive. Yuuri crawled back into the cave and curled up in a ball, his body wracked with sobs. Axel said nothing, simply sitting by Yuuri’s side.

Yuuri didn’t know how long he cried. Everything passed in a blur. One moment, Yuuri was curled up on the floor of the cave. The next, he was tucked into the sleeping bag with Axel, who was wiping the tears from his cheeks. He kissed her forehead in thanks and pulled her close to him. The girl hugged him close, nuzzling her face into his neck as he silently cried.

The first time Yuuri had a firsthand encounter with death happened when he was eleven years old.

One day, while Yuuri, Yuuko, and Takeshi were walking around the trees at the outskirts of the meadow, they found a dog. It was a filthy, skinny thing. Its brown fur was matted with dirt, and it was so hungry it hobbled over to them on shaking legs. Takeshi was disgusted, but Yuuri and Yuuko were immediately enamored with it. Despite its frailty, the pup was sweet, happily accepting pets from them. Yuuri had hugged the dog, saying he wanted to take it home, but Takeshi just laughed.

“Your parents would never take on an extra mouth to feed,” he said. “Come on, Yuuko, leave the wimp and his mutt to cuddle in the dirt.”

“Takeshi!” Yuuko had scolded, proceeding to chew out the tall boy as they left Yuuri and the dog alone in the meadow.

Yuuri had growled at Takeshi’s words, but he knew he was right. His parents would never let him keep the dog when they could barely feed themselves. Yuuri wasn’t about to leave the dog, though. He picked up the small body and took it to the lake where he washed its fur, scrubbing away months of grime and dirt. When he was done, the puppy was curly haired and panted happily. Yuuri lavished his new friend with affection and fondly named him “Vicchan” after the amazing boy who had won the most recent Hunger Games.

Every day after that, Yuuri searched for food for the puppy. He left Vicchan in the meadow, where he loyally stayed until Yuuri came back each day with whatever he could find. He worked hard to provide for the dog. He snuck scraps from his dinners, went through trashcans at the butcher’s shop, and he was working on recreating a snare that Viktor had used in the games. Yuuri grew to love Vicchan who adored him just as much, wagging his tail whenever Yuuri came to see him.

However, the puppy grew weak. Yuuri could only provide so much meat, and Vicchan grew thinner and thinner until one day, Yuuri found him lying on the ground, unable to stand up. It was only then that he noticed the wound on the pup’s hind leg. Yuuri was certain it hadn’t been there when he bathed him in the lake, but it was swollen now, oozing puss beneath the thick curls of fur.

Yuuri did the only thing he could think to do; he brought the puppy back to his house, begging his mother to please try and help him. She was reluctant, not wanting to waste her herbal salves on a dog, but Yuuri’s furious tears convinced her. She inspected the wound on his leg, but with a grim expression, she told Yuuri there was likely nothing she could do. Yuuri begged her to try, and she did. She cleaned the wound of puss and fly larvae until it was just a bloody gash and applied a mixture of salves and herbs. When she was done, Yuuri took the puppy to bed with him and cuddled him to sleep.

However, when Yuuri woke up, the body in his arms was stiff and cold. Yuuri sat up, and Vicchan wasn’t moving. “Vicchan?” Yuuri meekly called out, shaking the pup, but he didn’t budge.

Yuuri had felt the coldness of that body linger on his hands for days after they buried him behind their house. No matter how he washed them or warmed them, the icy feeling clung to his fingertips. It was awhile before Yuuri regained a feeling of warmth in his hands, partially due to his growing infatuation with the human Viktor Nikiforov. Yuuri never forgot, though, the way that cold had stayed with him for months after Vicchan’s death.

When Yuuri awoke, his hands were cold. In fact, his entire body was cold. For a moment, this didn’t strike him as surprising, given the climate, but then he realized he was inside the sleeping bag _and it was still cold._ Yuuri sat up, and the cave was incredibly dim. Yuuri wondered if it was still night, but he quickly realized that wasn’t the case. At the mouth of the cave, the snow rained down in heavy sheets, making an almost solid wall of the stuff in its density. It was a blizzard.

Axel was roused by Yuuri’s movement, blinking her eyes sleepily. “It’s cold,” she said, and Yuuri realized all at once that they were back in the situation of the first night. This time, however, there were no trees nearby, and a sleeping bag wouldn’t be enough. “It’s cold,” Axel repeated again, shaking against Yuuri’s body like a leaf. Yuuri was struck with the realization that Axel would die from cold like this. Yuuri might die, too, but a little girl surely would. With such frigid temperatures, they desperately needed something to warm them up as soon as possible, and the sleeping bag was proving to not be up to the task. No, they needed fire. Yuuri looked at the cave entrance again and discovered just what kind of predicament they were in. To make a fire, he needed wood. To get wood, he needed trees, and this mountain was a little ways away from the tree line. Couple that with the fact that the blizzard was so heavy, Yuuri doubted he could see a foot in front of himself out there, and they had a dilemma on their hands. Should Yuuri risk getting lost and freezing to death to get wood for a fire, or should he risk him and Axel freezing to death in this cave anyway?

“Let’s eat something,” Yuuri suggested to Axel. Being hungry certainly wouldn’t help the cold seeping into their bones, after all. Yuuri’s heart twisted as he found his and Phichit’s backpacks sitting nearby. Phichit was gone now, so it was common sense for Yuuri and Axel to eat his rations, but something felt sickening wrong about it, still. Yuuri rummaged through both bags, combining the portions of nuts, roots, and mushrooms. There was a fair amount, and depending on how long the blizzard lasted, Yuuri and Axel might be able to last on it if they were careful. With how much snow was outside, water wouldn’t be an issue—that is, if Yuuri could melt it. It was probably unwise at this point to waste any of his body heat on melting snow. Yuuri bit his lip.

Yuuri pondered the issue as he and Axel each ate a small portion of their remaining food. It was getting colder and colder the longer Yuuri sat, and even though she didn’t say anything else about it, Yuuri could tell Axel was in bad shape. She was shaking profusely as she took bites out of a mushroom, and even then her movements were stiff and forced. She could barely move except for the tremors shaking her body, and Yuuri’s anxiety coiled in his gut. Going out in a blizzard to find firewood was a fool’s errand. He knew from experience that it was far too easy to get lost and freeze to death in that kind of snow, and if Yuuri died out there, Axel would freeze or starve to death without a doubt.

However, it was when Axel unzipped her jacket that Yuuri truly grew alarmed. “Mm… I’m hot…” Axel groaned, and Yuuri hurriedly zipped her jacket back up despite her weak protests. “It’s hot!” she complained, and Yuuri shushed her as soothingly as he could.

“I know, honey, but you need to endure it. It’s actually really cold, so you need to stay in your jacket and in the sleeping bag, okay?” he explained, gently coaxing her back into the sleeping bag. Axel groaned before curling up and falling asleep. Yuuri’s stomach turned to lead. If Axel was feeling hot, that meant that hypothermia was setting in severely. She began to softly snore, but her breaths were weak and far between, and Yuuri carefully extracted himself from her and the sleeping bag, his mind made up. Axel would die like this if he didn’t do anything. Yuuri knew that going out into a blizzard was stupid, but he had no choice. It was either that or let Axel freeze to death.

Yuuri retrieved the reflective plastic from Phichit’s bag and wrapped it around Axel and the sleeping bag. Hopefully that would be enough to keep her alive until Yuuri returned— _if_ Yuuri returned. Yuuri could practically hear Viktor’s voice screaming at him not to go from behind the cameras and screens, but Yuuri knew there was no other option if he wanted any chance of keeping Axel alive. This wasn’t about him; it was about her. Yuuri pulled his hood up and buried his face in the neck of the coat the best he could. He retrieved the knife from his things and put it in his pocket. Besides that, though, he left the supplies with Axel so that she had a slim shot if he didn’t return. With all that done, Yuuri took a deep breath and wandered out into the snow.

Yuuri thought he knew cold. He remembered long, snowy days of ice fishing with his father in subzero temperatures. Those days, his hands went numb and blue, and all of his extremities burned. He thought his fingers might fall off, but they never did. He simply had to spend a few hours by the fire after those days, his mother’s soft humming filling the air as she prepared supper with the fish he and his father caught.

This cold was nothing like that cold.

This was a deep, penetrating cold. This cold reached deep into his bones and froze him from the inside out. This cold was painful, creating icy needles throughout his flesh until it felt like he was being repeatedly stabbed. Yuuri had never experienced cold like this. Besides the cold, too, Yuuri had made the correct assumption when he thought he wouldn’t be able to see anything outside. Everything was dark and white at the same time, and Yuuri repeatedly had to blink the heavy snowflakes from his eyes. Even that was proving difficult, though, as it became harder and harder to move his eyelids. He didn’t have much time.

Yuuri pressed on, struggling to step through the thick snow. He had no idea where he was going, so he just tried to go in the opposite direction of the cave and mountain. Trees would be in that general direction, right? Yuuri couldn’t be entirely sure. He wasn’t sure where he had run during the avalanche, but this was the best chance he had.

Yuuri just kept walking and walking. His feet were long numb, and he cradled his arms around himself. He practically stumbled through the snow, his motor function becoming increasingly worse, and after a while, he wondered if maybe he’s gone the wrong direction. The trees weren’t _that_ far from the mountain, were they? The sickening anxiety curled in on itself in his gut, the cold too much even for it. What if he was wrong? It was too late to turn back; without a fire, at this point he would succumb to the elements after being in the snow like this. What if he had really just killed himself and Axel by coming out here?

However, just as Yuuri was starting to see doubles, he realized that what he was seeing doubles of was a tall, dark shape. Without any option but to pursue it, Yuuri hobbled toward the silhouette and to his almost tearful relief, it was a tree. Without hesitation, he made quick work of gathering branches. Most were from the ground, but some he broke off of lower limbs of the tree, and when he had an arm’s full, he turned around to go back the way he’d come.

Except… then he realized he had no idea which direction he’d come from. His footprints in the snow were already covered by the heavy precipitation, and Yuuri looked around and around only to find a wall of white at all sides. Yuuri’s breath got caught in his throat. It was just as he’d feared; he’d gotten lost. The only hope Yuuri had was to attempt to retrace his steps, but his vision was so blurred now that he could hardly remember which side of the tree he had been facing when he found it. Without any other options, though, Yuuri took his best guess and went to a side of the tree that was sort of familiar, turned around, and began to walk again.

However, Yuuri was already at the end of his rope. His vision was turning dark around the edges, and he couldn’t walk in a straight line anymore. He kept having to stop and pick up sticks as he dropped them involuntarily, and the longer he stumbled through the snow in whatever direction he was going, the more it felt like he’d been out here forever. He’d gone the wrong direction, hadn’t he? That was unfortunate, he blearily thought. Axel was going to die without him, wasn’t she? And Yuuri would die, too, out here in the cold. How sad it must be to his family back home watching him. How heartbroken Yuuko must have been to see both of them go. Yuuri slowed to a stop and sighed. He had failed.

The ringing in his ears got louder, and Yuuri dropped the sticks and got down to his knees. Yes, he’d die here as a failure. He was a stupid idiot who couldn’t accomplish the one task he had. He laughed weakly. How pathetic. The ringing got louder, and it started to sound like beeping.

Beeping…

Yuuri’s eyes shot as wide as they could. He recognized that beeping.

Forcing himself to his feet, Yuuri gathered his pile of sticks. He kept fumbling and dropping them because his coordination was abysmal, but he eventually was able to pick up enough of them to continue. It felt like weights were strapped to his legs as he trudged through the snow toward the beeping. It was getting louder, and Yuuri realized just how close he was to its source. Yuuri opened his mouth and cried as it came into sight, the parachute nestled right in the mouth of the cave.

Yuuri had made it.

It was a blur, the process of building the fire. Yuuri had had to dry the wood off on his shirt the best he could, and his senses were so foggy he could have sworn he had already died. However. Somehow, the fire came to life. Yuuri scooched Axel toward it with the last of his strength before collapsing beside the orange flame.

Yuuri never quite fell asleep, but he was in a reduced form of consciousness. He stared at that fire for probably hours, registering nothing but the pain growing in his hands and feet. Then, everything started to get less foggy. Little by little, Yuuri realized that his extremities hurt, but that meant that there was feeling returning to them. He still felt weak, but one by one, he began to move each finger and toe. Then, he was shivering, and he realized that it had gotten hot right before he’d built the fire. As his consciousness became clearer, he weakly registered that he really had almost died.

After enough hours that the fire was growing low, Yuuri slowly sat up, using what little strength he had to add another stick to the fire. He lethargically looked over to Axel, and to his relief, he face was red with cold, her breaths making small clouds in the air. She was still alive. Yuuri let out a weak laugh. Look at that! He’d saved her, after all.

Yuuri laid back down, patiently allowing strength to creep back into his body at its leisurely pace. Everything hurt again, but he knew that was a good sign. He could breathe, and after a few more hours, he could think, too, and he thought to check that parachute at the entrance of the cave.

Inside the parachute was nothing but a few dry beef strips and crackers. It was hardly even a serving for one, let alone two, and it had to be the cheapest thing the games had to offer. Yuuri ate a cracker and beef strip before stowing the rest away and lying down again. Yuuri’s brain was still slow, and it took several more minutes of thinking to realize that it was stupid for Viktor to send something like that for no reason.

It took a good while, then, to realize that Viktor had a reason: to guide Yuuri back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A LOT happened in this chapter, and I'll be honest, I'm gonna have to proofread it again later because I'm sure there are typos abundant in the last half since I just wrote in in a spur of creativity tonight. Also, There's more [art!](https://noname-chan.tumblr.com/post/629834944159580160/guess-whos-back-back-back-back-again-gain-gain) I drew it like 4 months ago, back when I wrote the first half of this chapter.
> 
> Life's been crazy, okay? My updates will certainly be sporadic.
> 
> BUT! I hope you enjoyed this chapter after the 4 month cliffhanger, and please feel free to let me know what you think, even if it's "Lez you dumb idiot, I waited SEVENTEEN YEARS for this chapter!" Love y'all!


	13. A Twist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Axel awaken to warmer temperatures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with another one! Again, forgive any typos, as I typed this chapter out in one go. Enjoy!

When Yuuri awoke, it was because he was sweating. He groggily blinked his eyes, taking a bit to register that he was, in fact, hot. That made him panic for a moment, thinking that maybe the fire had gone out and hypothermia had set in. However, he looked over with ease to find the fire on its last embers, and he swiftly deduced that he was too functional to be freezing to death. As Yuurio’s brain came to full wakefulness, he figured out that he was actually hot because of his jacket. Experimentally, Yuuri unzipped the coat, and he felt immediate relief as he exposed his body to the comfortable air. Then, he realized that it was far too bright in the cave for such a small fire to be illuminating it. He turned toward the entrance, and surely enough, bright sunshine filtered through it. Yuuri blinked. This was the first time he had seen sunshine since the games had started. It was warm, too. That was a good sign, right?

Yuuri looked over to find Axel softly snoring, but beads of sweat were running down her forehead. He made quick work of extracting her from the various layers of heat reflecting materials, and she blearily opened her eyes. “Yuuri?” she mumbled, yawning. “It’s hot.”

Yuuri smiled and pointed toward the mouth of the cave. “Look, Axel. It got sunny outside. Maybe it won’t be cold anymore.”

Axel blinked to attention. “Ooh!” she whispered excitedly. Yuuri could already tell the weather was rousing her playful spirit and chuckled.

“Let’s get you out of that coat, shall we?”

After having a quick breakfast, Yuuri gathered up the supplies the best he could. He wondered what to do with the bulky coats. He didn’t want to abandon them in case it got cold again, so he and Axel ended up having to tie them around their waists. Before leaving, Yuuri also took a moment to inspect his wounded shoulder. He’d almost forgotten it was wounded after the events of the previous day, which he tried his best to bury in the back of his mind. However, the wound was little more than sliced flesh now. While it still softly ached, the inflammation was gone, and Yuuri silently thanked Phichit for his wisdom in treating it before pouring a little bit of water from their bottle on it to keep it clean.

With that much settled, Yuuri and Axel stepped outside the cave. The first thing Yuuri noticed was brown and green. Before, snow had coated everything so thickly, he hadn’t seen much of the landscape, but now he saw a lush coniferous forest just a short walk away. Yuuri remembered his struggle trying to reach that forest the previous night and shuddered, deciding to repress that memory for now, too.

 _Great,_ he thought sardonically. _I’m already accumulating trauma, aren’t I?_

Everything dripped with melted snow, and Yuuri suddenly had a thought, remembering the avalanche. Yuuri wasn’t entirely sure, but while they weren’t very far up the mountain here, it probably wasn’t save to remain anywhere near it with all the snow melting. “Come on, Axel,” Yuuri beckoned, taking her hand in his and beginning to walk back toward the forest. The woods seemed like their safest bet at this point, anyway.

Yuuri really took his time to admire his surroundings and how much they’d changed overnight. It was amazing how quickly the Gamemakers had turned a winter wasteland into springtime, and Yuuri was pleased by the sight of dandelion buds in the dirt. Dandelions meant food. Yuuri briefly reflected on that conversation he’d had with Viktor where they’d discussed their favorite flowers and shook his head.

“Let’s gather some dandelion greens,” Yuuri suggested, not wanting to get buried in sorrow at this point in time. Axel was quick to get to work, pulling the leaves off the familiar plants, and Yuuri stored them in the fabric of the second parachute Viktor had sent. That reminded Yuuri; Viktor was clever. Yuuri had gotten lost in the blizzard the previous day. He surely would have given up and died if not for that parachute landing in the mouth of the cave. The more Yuuri thought about it, the more he was sure it was intentional. Why else would Viktor have sent nothing but beef and crackers? Yuuri sighed, gazing at the ring on his right finger. He’d never stop owing Viktor. After all, Yuuri was going to die before he could ever hope to pay him back.

“Yuuri?” Axel’s voice snapped Yuuri out of his thoughts. “It’s getting hot,” she whined, fanning herself.

Yuuri realized that she was right. It had been warm in the cave, but out here with the sun beating down, it was getting hot. That brought another important matter to Yuuri’s attention as he looked around. The snow had already melted, and while some trees still dripped, that meant that Yuuri and Axel would need a new source of water. Yuuri swallowed, the dryness of his throat suddenly apparent, and he regretted pouring some of their water bottle onto his shoulder wound.

“We need to find water,” he told Axel. Yuuri considered the options, his mind briefly going back to the pond he’d ice fished in, but he had no idea where that was. “Let’s keep walking away from the mountain, but be very quiet and listen for the sounds of a stream or river. Surely there must be one nearby.”

The two set out on foot again, snacking on dandelion greens as they went. A lot of plant life had grown in the forest overnight, and Yuuri wondered how that was possible. The Gamemakers had their ways, he decided, harvesting some familiar berries. At least food would be less scarce. However, as Yuuri and Axel kept walking, Yuuri started becoming alarmed. Hours went by without any sign of water. Yuuri considered collecting water from the trees out of desperation, but it had already dried up in the beating sun. Yuuri panted. It was so hot, getting hotter and hotter by the hour. Was that the point of the Arena? Was the concept to freeze half the tributes and then dehydrate the other half? Yuuri thought about it. As far as he knew, 13 tributes had already died. It could have been more, too, considering he’d missed the previous night’s recap. Someone could have died from the cold like Yuuri almost had. Yuuri wished he had a way of knowing.

As the day grew into the late afternoon, Yuuri grew panicked. That was it. The Gamemakers were trying to dehydrate them to death, and it was working. “Yuuri,” Axel weakly panted, and Yuuri soothingly patted her head.

“I know,” he said sympathetically. “Here, take a few sips, but not too many.” Yuuri offered Axel the water bottle, and she obediently took a few sips before handing it back to him. Yuuri took two sips as well before putting the remaining quarter of a bottle away. He couldn’t afford to waste it too quickly.

After another hour, Yuuri knew they were in trouble. He was beginning to get dizzy from the heat. His stomach turned, and he felt nauseous, a telltale symptom of heat stroke. Axel was stumbling, so Yuuri picked her up and carried her on his back while she held the backpacks on her own. Yuuri panted, his vision getting blurry. His body was weak, between almost freezing to death a day ago and sweating so heavily now. He couldn’t keep this up much longer, he thought as he started stumbling himself. He was already tired, and the heat was getting to him. He was so thirsty, he was hearing rushing water in his ears like a taunt.

Wait… He _was_ hearing rushing water.

Yuuri broke into a jog and headed toward the sound. Hopefully he was right and not just hallucinating because he was using the last of his energy to get to the source. Surely enough, though, Yuuri broke through the trees to find what must have been a large stream cutting through the forest. Yuuri about cried in relief, setting Axel down. He knew drinking unpurified water wasn’t wise, but the two of them immediately dropped to their knees and began gulping it down. Yuuri gasped for air after practically inhaling the water and began splashing his sweaty face with it. It was freezing cold. In fact, it felt like the stream was the only part of the environment that sustained the winter temperatures. Yuuri filled the water bottle and was contemplating the pros and cons of warming some more water up with a fire to bathe when a loud cracking sound filled the air.

Yuuri whipped around, retrieving the knife from his pocket in preparation to defend himself. However, instead of a person, Yuuri was met with some sort of brown, furry animal with a large, flat tail waddling around in the nearby shrubbery. Yuuri blinked, trying to remember the name of the familiar creature. _Beaver_. Yuuri had seen them a few times in his life, but their river dens were always swiftly removed by Peacekeepers. The beavers Yuuri had seen before were small, though—this one was _huge._ Yuuri would say it was about the size of a large pig, and it eyed him curiously before nibbling away on wood. It seemed pretty harmless in demeanor, but Yuuri cautiously admired those large, probably razor sharp teeth it had.

Yuuri retrieved his homemade fishing rod, deciding to catch some dinner while he and Axel were here. The river was probably a good place to setup some sort of camp, but he and Axel would have to keep moving along it to avoid being caught stationary by the Careers. “Axel,” he said, “remember how you dug up those worms before by the pond?” She nodded. “I’m going to fish again. Would you mind digging some up for me if you can?”

The girl who had previously been squeamish at the idea of digging through the mud for worms grinned eagerly and began to trot away from Yuuri. “Don’t go too far!” he warned her, and she stopped right before she was out of sight, crouching down in the mud and digging with her fingers. Yuuri was amazed and saddened by the way the Games had already started to harden Axel. While being less squeamish wasn’t necessarily bad on its own, he didn’t want her to become too desensitized to the world’s ugliness.

Yuuri decided to try fishing with the berries he’d picked in the meantime. Keeping Axel in his sight, he walked a little ways down the stream until he found a good spot to fish from. He cast his line, and the line slowly flowed downstream. _Huh,_ Yuuri thought. He felt a tug and pulled it in, placing aside the minnow he’d caught before casting his line again. _The flow of the stream is rather slow_. It was almost like something was blocking it. Then Yuuri remembered the beaver he’d seen. Glancing further downstream, Yuuri gasped. “Oh wow,” he mumbled to himself. Blocking the stream was in fact a beaver’s den. It was large and impressive, so much so that it took a moment to realize that it was covered and surrounded by beavers as large as the one he’d seen earlier. It was quite a sight, but Yuuri paid it no mind, turning his attention back to fishing.

Yuuri pulled in several more minnows. Axel returned with some worms before exclaiming in horror that Yuuri had used too many of their sweet berries to fish. She proudly declared that she’d go find more, and Yuuri warned her not to stray too far before allowing her to wander into the tree line. Using the worms, Yuuri had more luck with bigger fish, but he realized that the water was too shallow here for many to congregate. He had an idea, then, and approached the beaver den. The beavers eyed him as he approached, but Yuuri didn’t think much of it, chalking it down to caution. Here, the water had gathered into a deeper pool, and Yuuri began to fish. Surely enough, he began pulling in bigger fish, and after a while, he was satisfied with his parachute full of them. He and Axel would eat well for a couple days.

Yuuri tied up the parachute and put it in the backpack he’d kept on him, prepared to head back upstream when he noticed the beavers. He’d unknowingly inched closer to the beaver den as he fished, and now he was mere meters away from it. It was even more impressive up close, but Yuuri hardly registered that with the way the beavers were _staring_ at him. They were no longer waddling about, instead facing him with bristled fur. Yuuri quickly put together that he had gotten too close to their den, and they now felt threatened. Those teeth glistened in the sunlight, even sharper up close than they had looked before, and Yuuri slowly realized that these probably weren’t any ordinary beavers. The Gamemakers were always looking for twists to put on the games, and as a result, these beavers were likely muttations created by the Capitol. Yuuri gulped. He’d thought the beavers docile before, but their beady black eyes sent a chill through him now. Who knew what genetic modifications these animals had? Yuuri had a strong gut feeling he needed to get out of here _now_.

Yuuri began backing away slowly. He barely dared to breathe, taking the longest and most careful steps he could. The beavers continued to fix their gazes on him, but Yuuri gradually gained distance. Just as he felt he might be safe enough to walk away normally, though, his foot snapped a twig.

The reaction was instantaneous.

One beaver made a loud, guttural sound, and then the others began making the same noises. They then began crawling from their damn in a frenzy of activity, some taking to land and others to water, all in Yuuri’s direction. Yuuri ran.

Heaving, Yuuri sprinted away from the encroaching beaver mutts. They followed him swiftly, gaining on him with ease. Yuuri wanted to call out for Axel, but she was probably safer in the woods away from the mutts, and he didn’t want to draw unnecessary attention to her. Instead, Yuuri just ran as fast as he could. He had just decided that running into the woods to put more obstacles between him and the beavers was a good choice when his shoe slipped in the mud, and he went toppling into the river.

The breath was practically knocked out of Yuuri. It was cold, too cold to be swimming in, but he flailed anyway, not certain he could easily clamber back onto land. He knew how to swim, fortunately, so he swam faster than he probably ever had away from the beavers. Despite the current going against him, Yuuri was a good enough swimmer to not immediately be overtaken. However, beavers were better swimmers than humans, and the ones on land took to the water in pursuit of him. Yuuri quickly realized he was at a disadvantage and needed to get back on land, but as soon as he realized that, he also discovered the ground getting higher and higher above him. He was approaching a small canyon of sorts, but this gave Yuuri an idea. He might not have been able to outswim beavers, but he could outclimb them.

Yuuri swam to the edge and grabbing exposed tree roots, he began to climb. The time it took him to do that was enough for the beavers to catch up, though, and one lunged up at him when he was only a meter or so above the water. Yuuri shouted as those teeth sliced a gash in his calf, but he grit his teeth and kept climbing until he was out of the beavers’ reach. Clambering onto the land, Yuuri looked down at the mutts below. They thrashed, screamed, and lunged up at him, but after a few minutes, they quickly discovered that it was no use and dispersed so suddenly, it was almost mechanical.

Yuuri waited a few minutes before getting up. He waited until the beavers were long out of sight in the direction of their den before pulling up his pant leg to inspect his calf. Luckily for him, the beaver had only grazed him, and while it bled considerably, the wound wasn’t as deep as the one on his shoulder. He cursed himself, though. The last thing he needed was another wound to keep infection out of.

Once the sounds of the beavers were completely gone in the distance, Yuuri got up, tentatively placing weight on his injured leg. It was only a flesh wound, though, and it didn’t reach deep enough to cause him much discomfort walking. Grateful, he began trekking back downstream to find Axel. He kept an eye out for lingering beavers, but they were gone.

“Axel!” he called out once he reached his first fishing spot, still far enough form the beaver den to ease any worries about that. There were footsteps in the woods, and Yuuri’s heartrate spiked for a second before Axel emerged from the trees, completely unharmed with a parachute full of berries.

“Yuuri!” she exclaimed, all but dropping her parachute of berried on the ground. “Why are you wet?”

Yuuri looked toward the beavers nervously, but he decided scaring the girl might be unwise. “I accidentally fell in the stream,” he partially lied. “Come on, let’s go upstream.”

Yuuri took Axel’s land and led her back the way he’d come, far away from the beaver den. They walked for a few minutes before Axel gasped. “Yuuri, you’re bleeding!”

Yuuri glanced behind him and cursed as he noticed the trail of blood his leg had left. That was bad. He didn’t need to attract predators, or worse, lure the Careers right to them! Yuuri realized then, too, that he was shaking. Whether that was from shock or the freezing wet clothing clinging to him, Yuuri didn’t know, but regardless, he needed to dry his clothes. Yuuri emptied the fish into the plastic sheet Phichit had left them before using the parachute they’d been in to tie around his leg wound. Hopefully it would soak up the blood long enough that Yuuri and Axel could get away from the trail of blood.

Continuing to head upstream, Yuuri and Axel came upon another segment where the land was almost level with the water instead of towering high above it. Yuuri decided to stop here. “Axel,” Yuuri said, face already flushed. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t particularly feel like exposing a child to it. “Will you turn around for a while? I need to change out of these clothes.”

Axel made a face. “ _Eugh._ Okay!” she agreed quickly. Wandering off a little ways but remaining within Yuuri’s sight, Axel settled by the stream and faced away, digging in the dirt again for presumably worms.

Yuuri sighed, heat creeping to his cheeks even more. He knew he was on camera in front of the entire nation, but he couldn’t stay in those wet clothes. He made quick work of stripping, laying his clothing out on nearby rocks in the sun to dry. Then, naked as can be, Yuuri settled down by the waterside and began using handfuls of water to wash out both of his wounds. The shoulder one had begun healing, fortunately, but Yuuri couldn’t quite get the leg one to stop oozing blood. He wrapped it in the parachute again.

Then, Yuuri’s attention was caught by a familiar beeping. The parachute practically landed next to him, and he reached for it with curiosity. What could Viktor be sending right now? His gifts so far had both had meaningful timing, so what could it be? Yuuri unwrapped the small package to find a bottle of iodine droplets for purifying water. Yuuri was perplexed. Yes, the gift was useful, but why not send it earlier.

Then Yuuri looked down at himself and went beat red. _Oh._

 _Nice view_ , he could practically hear Viktor purring.

Once Yuuri’s clothes were merely damp, he prepared to change back into them, but before he could, he heard a cannon. He jumped to his feet in alarm, and as he did, he noticed to sound of footsteps in the woods. Yuuri no longer cared about his nudity and looked upstream at Axel, who was still digging through the dirt. The steps came from the opposite direction, though, and Yuuri silently cursed—the blood. Someone had found it and deduced that they hadn’t changed course due to the importance of the water source. It was only one pair of footsteps, though, and they were both too heavy and too relaxed to be the furious Yuri Plisetsky. Yuuri fumbled on what to do. Did he hide? No, Axel would be seen. Did he shout out to her? No, he would be heard. Did he run and grab Axel? By the time Yuuri thought that, the footsteps were too close, and Yuuri quickly snatched the knife off the ground and prepared to defend himself in all his naked glory.

However, the first thing that came from the woods was a familiar voice. “Oh my. What a nice view,” it purred, and Yuuri’s jaw dropped. Out from the trees stepped Christophe Giocometti, grinning like the cat who’d caught the canary. Yuuri didn’t relax, still holding the knife defensively. In Christophe’s hand was a trident.

“Chris?” Yuuri exclaimed. “Why are you here? What do you want?” he demanded, prepared for Christophe to simply spear Yuuri with the weapon in his hand.

However, Christophe just laughed, not even pretending to position the trident offensively. “Now, now, Yuuri, don’t look so surprised,” Christophe chided playfully with a wink. “And relax. When did I ever give the impression that I had it out for you?”

Yuuri thought back. Christophe had been playful and almost kind during training, and never had he joined the other Careers in mocking Yuuri. However, Yuuri remembered Viktor’s words: Chris was a snake. He was trying to lure Yuuri into a false sense of security so he could take him out more easily. Yuuri didn’t drop his guard, eying Christophe’s trident.

“Don’t play games with me,” he spat. “If you’re going to attack, then attack.”

Christophe threw back his head and laughed. Yuuri grew annoyed. How sickening for any of this to be considered _funny._ Christophe just grinned at Yuuri, though. “Why do you jump to the defensive so quickly? I thought we were friends, like you and that tan boy from Eleven.”

Yuuri’s blood went cold. “Don’t you _dare_ mention Phichit!” he snapped.

Christophe’s face fell, but more into an expression of concern than one of offense. “Oh! Oh, I apologize, I forgot that—My condolences, Yuuri. You must be devastated.” Yuuri said nothing, and Christophe sighed. “Look, allow me to explain myself: I didn’t join the Careers.”

Yuuri’s racing thoughts paused. He didn’t? Then Yuuri remembered that Christophe hadn’t been with the Careers when they’d attacked before the avalanche. He couldn’t help but ask, “Why?”

Christophe smiled, something of a genuine one this time. “They’re all snakes.”

Yuuri scoffed. “Rich, coming from you.”

Christophe rolled his eyes. “Now, why would you assume I’m a snake? What evidence do you have to prove that? I didn’t ally myself with anyone in training except you, after all.”

Yuuri thought back on it. It was true; while Chris bantered with everyone, he’d not shown anyone the attention he did Yuuri at the fishing station. However, the implication of that was…

“Why?” Yuuri asked. “Why would you want to form an alliance with me? I’m an underdog at best, and I have—“ Yuuri glanced over to Axel, who was watching the altercation from a distance, petrified.

Chris didn’t even look toward Axel, his eyes fixed on Yuuri. “Yuuri, dear, it’s for the same reason I didn’t join the Careers. I don’t want snakes for allies. I want genuine souls, and no soul has proven more genuine than yours, Yuuri. Besides, if I wanted to kill you, I would have done it already.”

Yuuri narrowed his eyes. No, he mustn’t believe anything Christophe said. However, that last part did bring up a good point. Christophe had a trident, a potentially ranged weapon. Yuuri had a knife. Christophe was bigger and stronger than Yuuri, too, so he could easily overpower him even without the trident. Why wouldn’t he just kill Yuuri, then? Yuuri had doubts before it occurred to him: amusement. Christophe had a good likelihood of surviving the games. In fact, this was probably like a sport to him, so why not amuse himself further by befriending and betraying weaker tributes? It made sense for a _snake._

Yuuri realized, however, that he didn’t have many options. He couldn’t outrun Christophe with Axel. He couldn’t beat Christophe in a fight. What options did he have, then? It then occurred to Yuuri that two could play at this game; if Christophe wanted to backstab Yuuri, then Yuuri would backstab him first. He could play allies, and then when Christophe was asleep, Yuuri could eliminate him. Yuuri thought about it, and yes, it seemed like his best bet at the moment.

Yuuri dropped his arm holding the knife. “You really want to be allies with me?” Yuuri asked with feigned sheepishness.

Christophe huffed as if exasperated. “That’s what I said, yes?”

Yuuri pretended to consider his options before pocketing the knife. “Okay,” he said, “as long as you promise to help me protect Axel.”

Christophe looked at Yuuri with an unreadable gaze. “Of course,” he said as if there wasn’t a doubt in his mind.

Yuuri turned and looked at Axel, who was still frozen in fear. He felt a sense of shame for her having seen him nude, but mostly he worried for her safety. He had no idea what kind of sick plot Christophe had in mind for disposing of her. Yuuri just had to hope he got to Christophe first.

“As much as I enjoy the view,” Christophe suddenly said, breaking Yuuri from his thoughts with that purring tone again. “You may want to show some modesty in front of the child.” Yuuri blushed furiously and scrambled to put his clothes back on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oo what these boys scheming?  
> No art for this chapter! I'm sure y'all are surprised to see me update so quickly anyway after my four month hiatus. Hopefully I can keep the momentum going.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and please let me know what you think!


	14. Allies and Snakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri questioned Christophe's motives. Maybe he's different than Yuuri thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again with the quick updates! I just have no hobbies rn so after work, I just come home and write lmao. Hopefully you enjoy! This chapter is... something.

Yuuri eyed Christophe as he followed Christophe and Axel further up the stream. Upon seeing Yuuri’s shoulder wound, Christophe had insisted on carrying her “so they could cover ground quicker.” The logic made sense, but Yuuri knew that Christophe was likely looking for an opportunity to betray them, so he’d denied the offer. However, Christophe had insisted, and not wanting to seem suspicious, Yuuri yielded. He kept a careful eye on them, though, half expecting Christophe to chuck Axel into the water or something else murderous, but instead the two were bantering, Axel giggling. Christophe was as charming as Viktor, and he easily won over the little girl. Yuuri didn’t like that. At this rate, he’d have to lie to Axel about how Christophe died.

Yuuri felt sick. He’d always hated lying. Deception made him uncomfortable, so playing allies with the intent of betrayal was something Yuuri really didn’t want to do. He would have to lie to Axel, too, as he couldn’t readily admit to her that he had murdered Christophe, not when her life depended on him and he needed her trust more than anything. She would find out, though; someone would either tell her in the form of rumors about him back in Twelve, or she would see the recaps of the games on television. Even though Yuuri didn’t plan on surviving long enough to feel the guilt, it still plagued him how little Axel would think of him after finding out he betrayed Christophe.

Additionally, the more Yuuri thought about it, the more the idea of killing Christophe in his sleep unnerved him. While Yuuri wasn’t afraid to defend himself if necessary, the idea of actually _murdering_ someone was finally hitting him in all its reality, and Yuuri felt disgusted that he was even entertaining it. Maybe, he thought, there was another way? Yuuri bit his lip. Christophe was a formidable competitor. It would be smart to take him out quickly if he could, but… No, Yuuri decided, steeling himself. He couldn’t— _wouldn’t_ be the kind of person to do something like that. Yuuri didn’t have it in him. Surely Viktor would be annoyed by his refusal to eliminate such a dangerous enemy, but Yuuri couldn’t do it. Instead, he’d wait until Christophe fell asleep, but instead of killing him, he would simply gather Axel and sneak away. They’d put distance between themselves and Christophe, and hopefully they’d never run into him again.

Yuuri’s mouth filled with the taste of blood from where he was biting the inside of his cheek. Hopefully, it wouldn’t come down to just them and Christophe.

“Yuuri?” Christophe said, snapping Yuuri out of his thoughts.

“Huh?” Yuuri blinked. He realized both Christophe and Axel were staring at him.

“You zoned out,” Christophe said. “I was going to suggest we stop for the evening. We should build a fire while we have dusk to conceal it.”

Yuuri raised an eyebrow. Why would Christophe care about dusk? He was formidable enough by himself to easily fight off anyone who found him. Then Yuuri realized that Christophe was playing his angle. _Ah_ , Yuuri thought, _he’s pretending he’s protecting me and Axel._ Yuuri nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we should find a good tree to sleep in for the night.” Christophe laughed, and Yuuri was perplexed. “What?”

“Yuuri, I’m too heavy to sleep in trees,” Christophe said, looking amused. “I could sleep on the lower branches maybe, but there wouldn’t be much sense in that.”

Yuuri thought about it. Christophe was right. Higher branches would likely be too weak for Christophe, who was tall and dense with muscle. “Ah… What do we do, then?” Yuuri asked.

Christophe waved a hand as if it was no concern. “We sleep on the ground. Don’t worry, if the Career pack finds us, I’ll protect you. We’ll be able to defend Axel between the two of us if it comes down to it. Besides, with the winter gone, the nights likely won’t be cold enough to require a fire, anyway.”

Yuuri considered this for a second. It would be rather difficult to quietly sneak himself and Axel out of a tree during the night, and hopefully Christophe was at least being semi-honest about protecting them from the Careers. “I suppose that makes sense,” he agreed finally, and Christophe looked satisfied.

The two of them built a fire, and to Yuuri’s unwarranted surprise, Christophe had a lot of fish. Of course, Yuuri realized, the man from District 4 would have a lot of fish. Yuuri offered his own as well, and Christophe laughed heartily. “We’ll have ourselves a feast!” he declared. Axel suddenly gasped.

“Oh!” she said. “Yuuri, I found more of those roots from the pond while you were naked! They’re in my backpack.”

Yuuri flushed. Why did she have to phrase it like that? “You did? That’s great, Axel! We can have some with the fish.”

The three of them got to work skewering fish on sticks and roasting them. Christophe guided Axel patiently, showing her the apparent perfect way to roast a fish over a fire, and she seemed delighted by the attention. Yuuri watched them as he boiled water in the pot for the roots as well as some more dandelion greens, mushrooms, and wild onions Axel had found while scavenging in the forest during Yuuri’s altercation with the beavers. Christophe was right; they would indeed feast tonight. Yuuri made sure to set aside some of the less perishable food items for later, though.

Once the stew was done and Axel and Christophe had roasted all the fish, the three of them helped themselves to the meal. Yuuri almost groaned at the taste of the fish. Christophe indeed was skilled at cooking them. Christophe smirked slightly at the look on Yuuri’s face, and Yuuri flushed. _What a pervert._ Yuuri ate the stew with his hands, and he was pleased by the taste. He patted himself on the back for doing just as good a job with his portion of the meal as Christophe.

“Mm! This is delicious!” Christophe complimented when the stew was passed to him, his face lit up. Yuuri felt warm with pride.

“My mother taught me how to cook,” he told Christophe. “We used to make stews like this all the time!”

Christophe looked at Yuuri curiously. “Really? Did she teach you how to fish, too?”

Yuuri paused. Right… He’d forgotten that Christophe knew about his secret skill. Though, Yuuri supposed it wasn’t such a secret skill anymore now that it had been televised across the nation. Yuuri could practically hear the arguments among officials, wondering who had taught Yuuri how to fish in a place like District 12 where fishing was illegal. Yuuri knew he’d better not reveal more details about how he’d obtained the skill. “Ah, no,” he said, leaving it at that. “You must have known how to fish since you could toddle,” he said then, just trying to change the subject.

Christophe raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment on the obvious diversion. “Ah, I suppose I have! Maybe even before then,” he joked. He leaned back against a tree, looking up through the trees at the sky and smiling fondly. “I’ve been fishing ever since I can remember. That’s what you do in Four is fish. You fish, fish, and fish. They have special classes in our schools there that teach advanced techniques like that net I showed you during training, but you have to start fishing for the nation as soon as you’re capable. I know there’s a lot of rumors in other districts about our wealth and prosperity as a district, and that’s partially true, but it has a price. You sell your life to fishing in exchange for comfort. Besides fishing, I don’t really know how to do much else.” Christophe looked down at the stew with a smile. “I’ve never had anything like this before. I never learned how to forage for plants. Pretty much all I’ve ever eaten is fish.”

Yuuri was stunned. Christophe seemed awfully… _soft_ in this moment. He seemed _genuine_ as he told Yuuri about his life in Four, like he was sharing something personal specifically to Yuuri. Something about Christophe’s story seemed sad, too. Yuuri tried to imagine never having a life besides fishing. It would get monotonous, wouldn’t it? Yuuri couldn’t even imagine how much of Christophe’s life was spent doing the same thing. Coal mining wasn’t all that different, Yuuri supposed, but at least he got to come home to a different meal each night. Yuuri felt silly, though, pitying someone from a rich district. “Surely you have more than just fishing,” he found himself saying.

Christophe’s smile softened even more. “Yeah. I have my lover, Masumi, and my cat, too.”

Yuuri couldn’t imagine being rich enough to afford a cat of all things, but instead of jealous, he just felt a pang at the memory of Vicchan. “And your family?” he asked. “Surely you have them, too.”

Christophe huffed a weak laugh. “Not since I was seven. A storm took my parents’ boat. I was raised by an older woman who took pity on my orphaned self. She was rather strict, but I appreciate all she taught me.” Christophe hummed. “I supposed I have her, though.”

Yuuri remained silent. He had always been weak for unfortunate souls. Seeing the poorest of his district, the beaten people who his mother tended too after whippings, and the children who lost their fathers to coal mining accidents had always broken his heart into pieces. Yuuri was soft, he knew. He was far too soft for something like the Hunger Games, yet here he was, listening to Christophe’s story with a melancholy heart. Maybe Christophe had never hungered or struggled the way Yuuri had, but he had suffered plenty in his own ways.

“Chris!” Axel sniffed, throwing her arms around the man. “I’ll be your family!” she declared. Christophe chuckled and patted her head.

Then, Yuuri realized what was happening. That tragic backstory… it was likely a lie. Christophe was trying to tug at Yuuri’s and Axel’s heart strings in order to garner pity from them. That way, Yuuri could be more easily manipulated into trust only to be betrayed and killed later on. Yuuri’s heart and stomach went cold, and he set down the fish he was eating. He wasn’t hungry anymore.

Yuuri kept the rest of the conversation over dinner short and impersonal. He asked if anyone had died on the day of the blizzard, and Christophe told him that the girl from Five had passed. Night crept in, and Christophe put out the fire. The death recap for the day told that the woman from Six, the one that sappy man had cried for during the interviews, had been the one to die earlier that day. Axel yawned and curled up at Yuuri’s side. It wasn’t long before she began to quietly snore.

The sounds of crickets and cicadas filled the air. Yuuri and Christophe stayed silent for several minutes before Christophe said, “Go ahead and sleep, Yuuri. I’ll take first watch.”

Yuuri frowned at the incredibly suspicious offer. _Oh_. That’s how Christophe was going to do it, huh? He was going to kill Yuuri and Axel in their sleep. Yuuri’s stomach twisted. He wasn’t going to fall for it. “Actually,” he replied, “I’d rather take first watch.”

Instead of arguing, however, Christophe merely sighed. “Do as you wish. I will stay awake in case you do fall asleep.” Yuuri frowned, and Christophe scoffed. “I’m not stupid, Yuuri. I know you don’t trust me. What was your plan? To kill me in my sleep?”

Yuuri froze, and Christophe huffed as if his suspicions had been confirmed. Yurui quickly backtracked. “N-No! I… I wouldn’t—“

“Then you were planning on running away, then,” Christophe interrupted. Yuuri went silent, and Christophe, of all things to do, smiled. “That comforts me a bit. You really are pure of heart to not desire to take me out while it’s easy.” Christophe laughed lightly. “As for your reasoning, I understand. I’m from a Career district. I have no apparent reason to ally with some man from Twelve and a child. It’s all very suspicious. If I were you, I wouldn’t trust me either. But,” Christophe looked up at the stars that were visible for the first time since the games had started. “I know my intentions. I know what kind of reputation I have, but that doesn’t mean it defines me. What these games want to make out of me doesn’t define me. I’m my own person, and,” he looked at Yuuri with a serious stare. “I will prove to you that I’m pure of heart, too.”

Yuuri was confused. Christophe was saying strange things. He wouldn’t let the games define him? What did that mean? Yuuri didn’t understand. Why would Christophe go on a whole spiel about character, but then not feign offense at Yuuri’s implicit criticisms of his? The whole conversation turned Yuuri’s gut in a strange way.

Yuuri decided to say nothing and looked up at the stars. He could see the constellations here just as he could when he was on the rooftop with Axel and Viktor. Where were they? Where in the world was this Arena, anyway, to be able to see the stars just as they had in the Capitol? Yuuri wasn’t sure, but he reflected on that night when Viktor had told him about the constellations. Axel’s breathing was rhythmic, and the peaceful thoughts of that night lulled him into sleepiness. Before Yuuri realized his mistake, he fell asleep.

Yuuri jolted awake a few hours later. He grasped at his neck as if expecting his throat to be slit and frantically looked around. However, Axel was still snoring peacefully beside him, and across from him on the other side of the extinguished fire, Christophe watched them with an almost… protective expression. Yuuri sat up, the confusion already stirring within him.

“Ah, you’re awake,” Christophe said. “I suppose it’s my turn to sleep, then.” Christophe lied back against his tree, arms folded behind his head and shut his eyes. Then, he opened one and grinned at Yuuri. “Now, now,” he chided, “Don’t look so surprised to still be alive.” He closed his eye again, contentment in his expression.

Yuuri _was_ surprised, though. Why? Why had Christophe spared them? Was it because he realized that Yuuri was onto him? Even so, though, that didn’t make sense! Christophe had the opportunity for an easy kill, so why not take it? What was with that protective look on his face while he watched them?

Then, it dawned on Yuuri. Everything Christophe said about character came back to mind, and it finally started making sense. Christophe said he didn’t want the games to define him. The games from the beginning had painted Christophe as an untrustworthy playboy. What had Christophe said earlier, though, about having a single beloved partner? What had he said about wanting to prove his character to Yuuri through action? Yuuri realized all that once that he’d been wrong. The games had been wrong. Viktor had been wrong. All of them had been wrong about Christophe. Maybe, Yuuri considered, Christophe was just an expert manipulator to make Yuuri believe him now, but somehow, Yuuri knew that wasn’t the case. Yuuri had misjudged Christophe.

When Christophe’s breathing evened out, Yuuri remained where he was, watching over both him and Axel. He no longer felt the need to make an escape. Maybe it was foolish not to play it safe, but Yuuri’s gut told him that Christophe was an ally, and hadn’t Viktor told him that Yuuri’s strong feelings and conviction to follow them through even against Viktor’s will was why he stayed by Yuuri’s side? Yuuri had to follow his heart, and his heart trusted Christophe Giacometti.

Hours passed. The moon was bright above, filtering through the trees and creating patched of light. Besides that, however, it was dark, and with the exception of the insects, it was quiet, too. Yuuri wasn’t sure how long he’d slept, but dawn was surely coming soon. Yuuri was alert still, though, in case anybody happened to come across them.

That alertness was how Yuuri heard the footsteps. Slow, creeping, almost silent footsteps. If not for Yuuri’s sharp ears, he would have missed it over the screaming cicadas. So quiet they were, they couldn’t possibly belong to a human. Yuuri didn’t think much of them, assuming some animal was wandering nearby until he realized that there was more than one set of them. Several pairs of those same, creeping footsteps reached Yuuri’s ears, and it was only when he realized that they were getting closer that he truly began to panic.

Yuuri crawled over to Christophe. “Chris!” he whispered, shaking the man. “Chris, wake up!”

“Mm?” the man groaned, blinking slowly awake.

“Listen,” Yuuri whispered, and Christophe paused before a serious expression took over his face. The other man got to his knees, and the two of them crawled over to Axel before taking either side in front of her, their backs to the tree she slept against. “Axel, wake up,” Yuuri shook the young girl, who mumbled.

“Yuuri?” she yawned, and Yuuri put his hand over her mouth with a finger over his own lips to signal her to be quiet. She quickly took on an expression of fear and got up to stand closely behind Yuuri. Yuuri turned back around, and the footsteps were closer now, somewhere around a dozen of them coming from all sides. Yuuri’s heart rate was spiked, and Christophe was already holding his trident up. Yuuri retrieved his knife from his pocket. Then, just as they were coming upon them, the steps stopped. Yuuri frantically looked around in the darkness, and it took him a minute to notice the almost glowing yellow eyes. Many of them.

It was only when he heard the howl, so close and loud as it cut through the air, that Yuuri realized what they were. “ _Wolves!_ ” Yuuri shouted in terror, and that’s when the attack began.

They lunged from everywhere. Huge, grey wolf-like creatures leapt into the moonlight, and Axel screamed. Yuuri had no time to react, and if not for Christophe spearing the first one that lunged at Yuuri with his trident, Yuuri would have been killed in seconds. Yuuri snapped into action though, swinging his knife violently. The wolves were huge, though. If the beavers had seemed large, these were something else entirely, and Yuuri realized as he frantically slashed that they had to be muttations. Yuuri had seen wolves, and wolves didn’t get this big.

However, Yuuri realized quickly as he stabbed and slashed away that he was of little use in this fight with just his knife. The hides of the wolves were thick, and while Yuuri’s attacks were enough to make them recoil for a moment, he couldn’t even hope to incapacitate or kill them. Christophe was faring better, his trident actually formidable against the mutts, but Christophe could only fend off so many by himself, and when Christophe screamed, Yuuri whirled around to find a wolf with its teeth in Christophe’s side. Yuuri leapt to action, stabbing violently at the creature that assaulted his ally, getting in enough stabs to make the beast release Christophe. He swung all around, warding off the wolves for just long enough to think. There was no way they could outrun these things, so they had no choice. “ _Climb!_ ” Yuuri screamed, scooping up Axel and pulling himself up into the tree.

Yuuri had never climbed so fast in his life, and despite his injuries, Christophe was able to lift himself into the tree right below Yuuri. The wolves were stalled for a few moments by the change of course, but it didn’t take long for them to catch on. Using those powerful hind legs, they began to jump, razor sharp nails leaving deep gashed in the tree as they slid down. Yuuri climbed even faster, but when those claws dug into the leg that has sustained the beaver attack, Yuuri’s screamed. He paused only long enough to register that the wolf had fallen after being impaled by Christophe’s trident, but the pain in Yuuri’s calf was searing. He kept climbing though, shouting, “Higher!” down to Christophe. The two of them scaled the tree quickly, and soon enough, the growls of the wolves seemed to be far below them. Yuuri had actually just stopped, actually, to tell Christophe that could stop climbing when he heard the sickening _snap_.

With a loud scream, Christophe fell from the tree, his weight too much for the higher branches of the tree. Yuuri watched in horror as he hit the ground with a loud _thud_. He didn’t even have the chance to grab his trident before the wolves began tearing into him.

“ _Chris!_ ” Yuuri screamed, and Axel was wailing. Yuuri could do nothing but watch as the wolves quickly and messily ripped Christophe to pieces.

It wasn’t long before the cannon rang through the air. As if on signal, the wolves immediately dispersed, growling lowly at Yuuri and Axel in the tree as they stalked away and disappeared. Yuuri could only gape at the mess of blood and meat that used to be Christophe. That charming grin Yuuri had seen only a few hours prior came to mind, and Yuuri couldn’t possibly put that image together with the gruesome scene before him now. Yuuri settled Axel into a nearby branch before promptly throwing up.

 _“I’m too heavy to sleep in trees,”_ Christophe had said. Why had Yuuri forgotten that?

Yuuri felt sick and kept throwing up until there was nothing left in his stomach but bile. Axel cried, sobs echoing through the now incredibly silent night.

Yuuri didn’t know when the hovercraft had come and retrieved Christophe’s body, but sometime between Yuuri vomiting and the light of dawn breaking, the corpse had disappeared. Axel’s crying had exhausted her, and Yuuri had tied them onto the tree for her to sleep. He didn’t sleep, though. He was in too much shock. All the memories he’d repressed until now, Phichit’s death included, resurfaced all at once, and tears streamed down Yuuri’s face as he let out his own silent sobs. Phichit had died. Christophe had died. Both of them because they’d allied themselves with Yuuri.

Yuuri wasn’t sure how long he cried, but by the time he stopped, it was well into the morning, and Axel was stirring. “Yuuri?” she whispered, her bottom lip trembling, and Yuur simply pulled her into a hug.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, knowing fully well what a lie that was. “It’s okay.” Yuuri and Axel climbed down from the tree cautiously, listening for any sounds of the wolves, but they were long gone. Yuuri and Axel didn’t bother to eat and just started silently walking, hand in hand.

It wasn’t long, though, before Yuuri had to stop. The pain in his leg was searing, and he sat down to inspect it. The sight turned his stomach, and if he had eaten, he surely would have vomited again. Four long, deep gashes marred his leg. Unlike the wound on his shoulder, this one would definitely require medical intervention, but Yuuri had no such resources out here. The wound still trickled blood, and Yuuri realized all at once just how lightheaded he was. Everything went black.

The second time Yuuri had encountered death had been when he was fifteen. One day, when a wounded man with lashes marring his back was brought into their home, his mother had actually asked him to stay instead of shooing him off. He had watched as she applied herbal salves and pieced his torn pieces of flesh back together, sewing them together with a needle. However, then the man had begun shaking violently, and Yuuri’s mother had yelled to Mari to retrieve something in a needle. Before she could inject the serum into the man however, he had stopped moving. Mari pressed her fingers to the man’s neck and shook her head. He was gone.

Yuuri hadn’t slept that night. Unlike the cold that had stuck around after Vicchan’s death, this time, Yuuri was haunted by images of blood and torn flesh. Whenever Yuuri trembled, he was reminded of how the man’s body had shook, and he felt nauseous.

He asked his mother, _why?_ Why had she made him witness that? She told him sternly that this was the reality they lived in in Twelve. She couldn’t shelter him from this kind of thing forever. From then on, Yuuri wasn’t taken out of the Square when people were tied up and beaten. No longer was the channel changed when public executions aired on television. Yuuri was forced very quickly to grow up.

“…uuri. Yuuri! _Yuuri!_ ” Yuuri blinked awake. His head was pounding, and he felt almost as weak as he had after the blizzard. However, the searing pain of his leg was now a dull ache. Above him, Axel hovered, worried etched in her features. “Yuuri? Are you awake?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he whispered with what little strength he had. “What happened?”

Axel’s eyes welled with tears. “Y-You got all white, and then you fell over. Your leg… there was so much blood!” She hiccupped. “I used my coat to soak it up, but it wouldn’t stop! You wouldn’t wake up! If not for that parachute with the medicine, you— you—“

Yuuri stirred to awareness. “Medicine?” he asked.

Axel nodded, sniffling, and handed Yuuri an unfamiliar container. Yuuri opened it to see the remnants of a purple salve and then suddenly positioned himself to inspect his leg. The gashes that had marred it before were now little more than deep scratches, still shiny with blood but no longer gushing it. Yuuri gaped. Viktor had sent him Capitol medicine, the kind that could heal just about anything. Yuuri had heard rumors of it, but he hadn’t believed until now that it could work such magic. How much had this cost? With 16 dead, they were approaching the end of the games. The prices of everything would have skyrocketed, especially something as valuable as this! How many sponsors had he and Axel _had?_ Whatever the case, Viktor likely didn’t have any money left to spend on their behalf. This was the ultimate sacrifice of resources to save Yuuri.

Yuuri closed his eyes and whispered, “Thank you.” Somewhere, Viktor would hear him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Here I am, breaking all the hearts. However, consider the consequences of this chapter's ending: Viktor has no money left from sponsors. If anything happens...
> 
> Anyway, no art for this chapter, either. I'm not in a drawing mood oop.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed, or at least very strongly hated this chapter! Let me know what you think, prepare more mop buckets, and have a nice evening!


	15. Life or Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Christophe dead, Yuuri and Axel are left alone again. However, things can't stay peaceful forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter was hard. I thought my house was getting broken into last night, and while it was a false alarm and just my cat making noises, I genuinely thought I was going to get murdered. I'm still pretty shaken up, so I wrote this chapter as a distraction. Prepare yourselves; it's an intense one.

For the rest of that day, Yuuri felt numb. His leg ached, but not terribly, and emotionally, he was exhausted. He sipped on water, not wanted to become dehydrated from crying so much. Axel walked beside him silently, but Yuuri wondered where they were even going. It was important to not stay anywhere too long, but he wondered just what kinds of horrors lurked around every tree. Yuuri could hardly care, though, after all that had happened. He almost wanted to stop and just lay down. He was tired. He was so tired.

However, Axel grabbed his hand. “Yuuri?” she murmured. Her eyes were still puffy from the tears she had cried, yet she squeezed Yuuri’s hand, and he immediately felt guilty. What was he doing, aimlessly wandering as if nothing mattered? Yes, he was distressed and grieving, but he was forgetting why he’d subjected himself to all of this in the first place. It wasn’t about him; it was about Axel. He needed to be alert! This arena was treacherous, and anything could happen at any moment. Yuuri needed to be prepared to protect Axel.

Nothing else happened, though. The day passed peacefully, and Yuuri had a sinking feeling. The Gamemakers never let too much time pass without casualties, and considering they’d been in the games for… Yuuri had to think about it. Ten days? They’d really been in there that long? Regardless, considering they’d been in the games for ten days with 8 competitors still left standing, the Gamemakers were likely to change that soon. Things had to speed up or the audience would get bored.

Yuuri and Axel slept in a tree again after eating leftover greens and roots. They’d have to forage for food again soon, but for today, they were left to simply process the previous night’s events. The sky showed Chris’s face. Yuuri felt a pang, but no one else had died today, and that anxious gut feeling that Yuuri had was intensifying.

Who knew what the next day had in store?

When Yuuri awoke, it became immediately apparent just what the Gamemakers’ plan was. It was raining heavily, and when Yuuri looked down from the tree, he saw a few inches of water pooled on the ground. He immediately woke Axel, and they quickly shoveled down some berries before climbing down.

Yuuri carried Axel as he walked through the water. It seemed to be rising quickly, soon reaching his upper calves. It must have been the stream overflowing from the rain, he thought. Luckily, the trees mostly shielded him and Axel from the violent rainfall, but the quickly rising water alarmed Yuuri. He and Axel had to get to higher ground, but he didn’t dare risk the mountain again. Instead, Yuuri waded away from the stream itself, hoping that maybe the land would incline upwards.

After probably an hour, though, the water reached Yuuri’s waist. He must have been going the wrong direction, he thought. Either that, or the Gamemakers were manually raising the water levels. Why, though? Despite the water, Yuuri could surely climb a tree if he really needed to escape it. This kind of thing wasn’t going to drown anyone who could swim, and even those who couldn’t still had the option of climbing above it. Yuuri bit his lip. What was the endgame?

Yuuri was becoming slow as the water continued rising, but he kept trekking on. He and Axel needed food, so if he could avoid spending the day in a tree, he would. He just kept wadding until he noticed the water level slowly dropping again. He looked around and realized the ground was starting to slope upward. He sighed in relief. He had been right about higher ground being within reach, after all. Trekking uphill, Yuuri slowly emerged from the water, and after that, he kept walking. He didn’t know how much farther the water would rise, so it was better to keep heading uphill.

Once they were above water, he put Axel down and instructed her to keep an eye out for food. Luckily, mushrooms seemed to be abundant, and while Yuuri had to be careful identifying them, they were able to find a decent ration of them. With that much settled, they just kept walking. The water was far behind them, but the rain continued pouring down.

When the trees started thinning, though, Yuuri had to slow down. He could hardly see in front of him in the downpour, and the droplets and humidity were fogging his lenses. That sinking feeling from the previous night returned as he realized what was happening. He figured it out just in time to grab Axel and dive out of the path of the knife thrown toward him.

Of course! He wanted to curse. The Gamemakers weren’t trying to drown him. They were _herding_ him right to another tribute. Judging by the knife, too, it was a Career. His pulse spiked. Did that mean all of the Career pack was here? Yuuri looked around frantically and spotted the silhouette barreling toward him. It was so large that it was surely a man, but it couldn’t have been Yuri Plisetsky, and there was only one pair of footsteps splashing through the puddles. When JJ Leroy emerged from the cloudiness wielding a pickaxe, Yuuri realized what must have happened. JJ had already had a tense relationship with Yuri Plisetsky, and after Isabella and Mila died, there must have been nothing to hold the Career pack together. That meant that there was no more Career pack, which would have relieved Yuuri if not for the current peril his life was in.

Yuuri wrapped himself around Axel and rolled out of the way of the attack, just barely dodging the pickaxe that speared the ground. “Axel!” Yuuri shouted, “ _Run!_ ” He released her, and she ran as fast as she could into the rain. Yuuri jumped to his feet and retrieved his knife, prepared to face JJ. The tanned man smirked as he and Yuuri circled each other. “Hello, little piggy,” he taunted. “I must say, it’s rather nice to see you. After all, Yurio is going to be livid when he finds out I got to you first.” JJ adjusted his grip on the pickaxe.

Yuuri’s stomach went cold as he realized very quickly what a disadvantage he was at. Yuuri was not skilled in offensive fighting. He’d learned self-defense during training, but he didn’t know how well that could match up against a well-built Career with a pickaxe, especially a Career whose ego mattered to him more than anything and had a personal vendetta out against Yuuri.

Then, Yuuri thought. Ego… He had an idea.

Yuuri put on his best smirk. “JJ! Fancy seeing you here. It only took you, what? Ten days to find me?” He laughed. “So much for all that talk about killing me quickly. You really do know how to run your mouth!”

JJ suddenly tensed before relaxing again, wearing a strained grin. “Well, it is difficult to find a little piglet who insists on hiding in a big forest. This could have been over much quicker if you weren’t such a _coward_. You ran away from us during training, and you ran from us here. Well, I’ve caught you. You can’t run anymore. I’ll take your head, and then I’ll find that little girl and gut her, too. How does that sound, _pig?_ ”

Yuuri’s veins went icy with rage as soon as JJ dared to bring Axel into it. However, he took a deep breath. He needed to keep his cool. Yuuri grinned and shrugged. “Those are rich words coming from the man who lost his pack. What happened? A little teenager’s taunts were too much for you? Or was it because Isabella died and couldn’t keep you cool anymore? You really are a hothead. Impulsive, cocky, and most of all, _stupid_. You were so impulsive that you sent that poor woman climbing after me all because you didn’t want to lose to a fifteen-year-old. And look where she is now: _dead_. And it’s _your_ fault!”

JJ’s face went red. “Don’t you _dare_ talk about Bella like that! She made her own choice! I wasn’t responsible for what happened to her!”

Yuuri chuckled. “Really? _She_ was the one so desperate to kill me just to settle her own ego against a child? I think you’d better take a look in the mirror. You’re the one so pompous and narcissistic to waste your time chasing down one person, and for what? To prove a point? The only point you’ve proven is that you’re a selfish jackass who got your girlfriend _killed_ ”

JJ fumed. “You’re going to regret those words.”

Yuuri prepared himself as JJ came swinging at him. He sidestepped and tucked into a roll behind JJ as JJ got the pickaxe lodged into the ground again. Yuuri watched the man carefully, backing away as JJ yanked at the pickaxe to dislodge it. The Career was sloppy. He had clearly never used something like a pickaxe in his life, and he had no idea how to wield it except mindlessly swinging it. Yuuri knew how to dance around that. The process repeated itself with JJ swinging at Yuuri and Yuuri easily dodging the sloppy attacks. Each time, JJ got the pickaxe stuck in the ground and had to take a second to dislodge it. Yuuri picked up on the timing of it and made a plan. As JJ swung again, Yuuri tucked and rolled behind him again, this time driving the knife into JJ’s back. The man shouted, doubling over from the impact of it, and Yuuri tried to pull the blad out only to find it stuck. Not having much time, Yuuri gave up and turned heel before running into the mist. He cursed himself. He hadn’t meant to lose the knife, such an important tool to him, in the fight, but he had to escape. Yuuri couldn’t have hoped to overpower JJ, so he’d simply goaded him into being reckless so he could make his escape.

However, Yuuri soon heard shouts echoing behind him. “ _Pig!_ Get back here, you little shit!” Yuuri kept running as the loud footsteps crashed a little ways behind him. Yuuri darted back to where the trees were thicker. Knowing he didn’t have much time, Yuuri searched for Axel. He couldn’t yell her name, so he weaved through the trees, looking for any sign of the young girl. “I’m going to tear you to pieces, Twelve!” shouted JJ somewhere behind him, but the voice had gotten further away. Yuuri realized that JJ must have started running the wrong direction and felt a sense of relief. He hadn’t escaped the Career left, but he was certain he could lose him. Yuuri continued weaving through the trees in search of Axel, making his path wild and harder to follow. He just needed to find her and the two of them could get out of here!

Then Yuuri heard the high pitched scream.

Before he could even think, Yuuri barreled toward the sound, the pit of his stomach dropping. It was possible that Axel had just fallen or gotten hurt, but Yuuri knew with a horrible sinking feeling what was actually happening just out of his reach. _Oh no… No no no!_ When Yuuri got to the clearing, Axel was on the ground, blood pooled around her. JJ loomed above her, blood splattered on his face and staining his pickaxe. He looked up at Yuuri and smirked.

“Found you, piggy,” JJ spat. Yuuri saw red.

Everything Yuuri had done came to a head at this moment. Everything he had sacrificed to save Axel… In a single moment, it all washed away. Inside Yuuri, a fiery rage he’d never experienced before overcame him, and before he knew what he was doing, he was tackling JJ to the ground. The other tribute had no time to react as Yuuri began pummeling him with punches, but Yuuri had been foolish. He was unarmed and JJ was not. Yuuri screamed as the knife impaled his right arm at the shoulder, and he was rolled over. He and JJ wrestled, fighting for control and toppling each other over again and again. JJ finally rolled Yuuri over, straddling him and pinning him down, and Yuuri realized how foolish he had been, attacking JJ like this. He stared up in fear at that smirking, sadistic face, and he was hit with the reality that he was about to die. Probably slowly, too, all things considered.

JJ laughed. “You look so scared, piggy! What, have you never looked death in the eye before?” JJ reached beside him, retrieving the pickaxe he’d lost during the fight and tossing it in his grip. He smirked. “Ironic, huh? A coal miner dying by his own tool! I could laugh all day. I’m sure the audience is laughing, too. You must have thought you were pretty clever, winning them over with that Eros shit, but they knew all along that you would die. Nobody ever believe in you. You’ve been a lost cause since the moment you volunteered, and everybody knew that. Viktor Nikiforov knew that. That cold bastard was just entertaining himself with you. He never had faith in you, either. You are _nothing_.”

Yuuri felt a sense of despair wash over him as he faced his soon to be murderer. Those words were cruel and cut deep, bringing out every insecurity Yuuri had had about his own actions. He’d known he would die from the beginning, but he hadn’t wanted it to be like this. He was supposed to save Axel, and now… Tears streamed down Yuuri’s cheeks, and JJ laughed. He continued mocking Yuuri, but Yuuri wasn’t listening anymore, his own thoughts forming a dark vortex in his mind. He couldn’t save Axel. He never could. It was a fool’s errand, trying to save a young child from the Hunger Games. He was a fool, and now he was going to die, not by his own hand, but at the hands of a cocky Career with a fragile ego.

Yuuri didn’t want to go like that.

While JJ was giving his spiel about Yuuri’s worthlessness, Yuuri suddenly twisted his left arm so suddenly that JJ was too unprepared to keep his grip on it. Without hesitation, Yuuri wrenched the knife from his own shoulder and slashed it in an ark, making a long gash across JJ’s chest. “ _Augh!_ ” JJ shouted in pain and surprise as he recoiled, and Yuuri wrenched his knees upwards and kicked JJ off of him. JJ toppled backwards, dropping the pickaxe, and Yuuri threw himself forward onto his knees. He couldn’t win with just a knife, so before JJ could grab it again, Yuuri snatched the pickaxe off the ground.

It was over from there. Years of mine training had prepared Yuuri for this moment, and even as JJ threw knife after knife, scrambling backward on the ground, he was unable to land another hit. JJ was sloppy. He was so focused on his own conceit that he hadn’t been prepared for Yuuri to fight back, and Yuuri walked toward him in large, powerful strides. Yuuri raised the pickaxe above his head. This time, it was JJ who gaped at Yuuri in fear, and Yuuri paused. Something Christophe had said was murmuring at the back of his mind. Something about character and not letting the games define you rang a bell in Yuuri’s head.

Then he spotted Axel’s bleeding body out the corner of his eye, and he brought the pickaxe down, burying it in JJ’s skull.

The blood splattered everywhere, and Yuuri saw red. He thought of Phichit falling to his death and brought the pickaxe down again. He thought of the wolves tearing Christophe to shreds and brought the pickaxe down again. He thought of Axel, smiling not too long ago only to be little more than a bleeding corpse now, and he brought the pickaxe down again and again just as he had with the training dummy during his evaluation.

By the time Yuuri’s vision cleared, JJ’s body was mangled, riddled with holes. The cannon boomed, and Yuuri panted before taking a step back and simply staring in shock. What had he… What had he just _done?_ Yuuri dropped the pickaxe and stumbled several steps backwards until collapsing onto his back, breathing heavily as the panic attack set in. He had killed him. He had killed JJ and mutilated his body. Yuuri, who thought himself incapable of murder, had just violently killed someone. Yuuri curled up in a ball, shaking violently. _What had he just done?_

Yuuri barely registered the hovercraft coming to collect JJ’s bloody body. He was hearing ringing, his heart rate so fast he could have sworn he was having a heart attack. He clutched his head and screamed, tearing streaming down his face. Axel was dead! JJ was dead! Phichit and Christophe were dead, and all of them were dead because of Yuuri! It was Yuuri’s fault! He was a murderer! He’d killed all of them!

Yuuri didn’t know how long he stayed there, rocking back and forth. After a while, the panic attack eased, and Yuuri simply stared at the blood on his hands, not comprehending. He was a murderer. He was actually a murderer. Yuuri could hear the voice back home, the ones that had whispered about Viktor for years, hissing _Murderer! Murderer!_ Yuuri was a killer, and he could never take that back. It all gradually became numb as the hours passed. Numb, cold, and nauseating. Yuuri rolled over and looked at Axel’s body. She was so pale, contrasting against the dark blood staining her. Tears rolled down Yuuri’s cheeks. She never deserved her fate. The rain was washing away the blood little by little, though, and Yuuri wondered where the hovercraft was to pick up her body.

Then Yuuri realized he’d only heard one cannon.

Yuuri practically scrambled to Axel’s side, rolling her onto her back, and surely enough, her chest rose and fell weakly. A deep puncture wound pierced her left shoulder, but she was still alive! “ _Axel!_ ” Yuuri cried. He shook her more violently than he should have given her injuries, but he was desperate. “Axel! Please wake up!” he sobbed.

Slowly, one eye at a time, Axel blinked awake. She stared up at Yuuri as if not really seeing him. “Yuuri?” she murmured.

Yuuri hiccupped another sob. “Yes! Axel, I’m here! Please stay with me!”

Axel blinked slowly. “It hurts,” she whispered before her eyes fell shut again.

Yuuri panicked. “No… No, no, no!” he said, feeling her neck for a pulse. To his relief, her heart was still beating, but it was weak. Yuuri had to treat her and _now!_

Yuuri scooped up Axel’s body and began stumbling through the woods. He needed somewhere to go where he could keep Axel safe long enough to treat her. He thought back to the hill he had been climbing when he found JJ. They surely wouldn’t find anything in the flooded stream, so uphill was probably their best bet. That turned out to be a wise idea as the hill became steeper before becoming a wall altogether. In that cliff, though, there were several small cave-like structures like there had been on the mountain, and Yuuri search for a big enough one before carrying Axel inside and laying her down.

Yuuri stared at the wound on Axel’s shoulder for a moment and wondered what to do. He had scarcely paid attention to how his mother healed things like this. Yuuri supposed the first course of action would be to stop the bleeding so that Axel didn’t simply die from blood loss. Yuuri fished out the fabric from one of the parachutes and pressed it to the wound, but it immediately became soaked in blood. Yuuri needed something denser and untied the thick coat from around his waist, pressing it to the wound instead. It took almost the entire coat before the bleeding slowed down enough to really see the wound itself. It was deep, and Yuuri had no way of knowing if it had punctured any vital arteries. Axel was still breathing, though, so he guessed that it hadn’t. He had to do something, though, and began washing the wound with the water bottle, fetching more water from the rain outside, and repeating. Eventually, Yuuri was able to clear away a good deal of the blood, and from that he saw just how angry the puncture looked. It was red and swollen, but Yuuri knew that the best he could do right now was stop the bleeding and keep it clean, so he wrapped the shoulder in the parachute fabric and tied it tight.

It was hours before Axel woke up again. Yuuri didn’t sleep watching her condition carefully, but it neither bettered nor worsened. The girl simply breathed, and Yuuri was grateful for that much. Finally, though, she did wake, albeit in a stupor. She kept murmuring things to Yuuri that he couldn’t understand before falling asleep again. Yuuri guessed that she needed rest to recover. It was only then that Yuuri thought to check his own wounds. The adrenaline had numbed the pain, but Yuuri was starting to feel the stabs of pain running down his arm. He inspected his shoulder where JJ had stabbed him with the knife, but while the wound had certainly bled a lot, it didn’t seem too serious. Like the knife wound he’d gotten on the first day of the games, it would mostly be a matter of keeping infection out. He cleaned his own wound as well.

Hours had passed, and Yuuri grew exhausted. He didn’t feel like eating, but he nibbled on some dried beef and crackers and drank some water. He continued to watch over Axel, but she didn’t wake up again. She just kept breathing. Yuuri managed to stay up long enough to watch the recaps, showing the face of JJ. No one else had died, though, and Yuuri could only hope that his battle with JJ had been entertaining enough to give them a moment of peace before the Gamemakers decided to mix things up again.

Yuuri cleaned Axel’s wound one more time before curling up beside her and falling asleep.

When Yuuri awoke, it was because he was scorching hot. He wondered if the Gamemakers had decided to spike the temperature again, but he heard rain still pouring down outside. Then he looked at Axel to find her face flushed red. Yuuri’s panic spiked, and he felt her forehead to find she was burning up. Knowing with a sinking feeling what this meant, Yuuri hurriedly undressed her wound.

Yuuri almost threw up. The entire area was furiously red and inflamed now, puss oozing from the puncture. There was no doubt that it was incredibly infected. Given Axel’s fever, too, it was bad. Yuuri had to do something _fast_. Yuuri tried to remember everything he knew about medicine. Pine sap, like Phichit had said, was a protective measure, and this wound was beyond protecting. Phichit had said that white oak had disinfectant properties when he used it on Yuuri’s shoulder, but Yuuri had no idea how to identify the tree. Then, Yuuri remembered something: the Capitol medicine! The medicine that Viktor had sent! Yuuri didn’t have a lot, but maybe the little remnants he had left would work? It was worth a shot, so Yuuri hurriedly retrieved the container and smeared the little bit that was left on Axel’s wound.

The puss began flowing like a river, pouring out of the wound, and Yuuri was almost sick. It covered the floor beside Axel, and Yuuri tilted her body on its side to make sure it could drain. It felt like forever that the wound drained, but eventually, it ran out of puss, and Yuuri inspected it again. His stomach dropped as he saw that the wound still hadn’t closed completely, although it did look a little better. Yuuri felt Axel’s forehead again, and to his distress, her fever was still high. He needed a disinfectant, but he was out of Capitol medicine. He would have to make his own, and he combed his brain for any medicinal plant knowledge. He had flashbacks to training when Phichit had told him all about the different plants they might see in the arena. Chamomile, Yuuri remembered! Chamomile and garlic both had disinfecting properties! Covering Axel with the heat reflecting sheet to keep her from getting sicker due to the cooler temperatures, Yuuri all but jogged out of the cave and began searching.

Yuuri searched the nearby area, not daring to stray too far from the cave’s mouth, and soon enough, he was indeed able to find a blooming chamomile plant. He dug through the dirt, searching for garlic, too, but he didn’t have any luck. Deciding it would have to be enough, Yuuri returned to the cave. He ground down the chamomile flowers he’d found with a little bit of water in the pot, creating a sweet smelling pulp. He washed his fingers with rainwater before tenderly but heavily applying the pulp to Axel’s wound. He thoroughly coated it, and as an afterthought, he applied a little of it to his own shoulder, too. He couldn’t risk himself getting infected as well. After that, Yuuri carefully poured water into Axel’s mouth, but she still panted, face flushed and wrenched up in discomfort. Yuuri’s heart was racing. He needed to save this girl. He _had_ to!

Yuuri spent the rest of the day taking turns applying chamomile to Axel’s wound and feeding her water. She never woke long enough to eat, and that worried Yuuri. Additionally, her fever didn’t go down. Yuuri applied the rest of his homemade salve to the wound before wrapping it up again. Hours passed, and Yuuri dozed off. He must have exhausted himself during his altercation with JJ, which he buried deep in the back of his mind. He couldn’t afford to break down right now, not with Axel’s life on the line. Despite the heavy weight of trauma looming over Yuuri, he had to stay strong. Axel was depending on him.

Eventually, night fell, and Yuuri watched the sky. No deaths today. He had a feeling he and Axel had been the stars of today’s show, but medical treatment was probably pretty boring to watch. Something was going to happen. It had to.

It was when the trumpets sounded that Yuuri realized what exactly _it_ was. The announcement of the feast was the same as it had been every year since after the 73rd Hunger Games. Before the 74th games, the feast had always been a gathering of food meant to coax starving tributes and Careers into a fight. However, the Gamemakers eventually realized that food wasn’t necessarily enough of a lure; now, after the two years of games that were forbidden to air, the feast instead offered every tribute a desperately needed item. They would be inside backpacks labelled with the district numbers and gender identifiers for the remaining tributes, all in the mouth of the Cornucopia. It was essentially a second Bloodbath, and Yuuri knew that almost everyone who went to it died. Consequently, he immediately ignored the announcement of the feast to tend to Axel.

Yuuri’s mind was immediately changed when he saw Axel’s condition, though, and realized exactly what his desperately needed item would be. Axel’s shoulder was even more inflamed than before, once again dripping with puss, and her fever had spiked even higher. Yuuri realized all at once that she was going to die without more Capitol medicine. Yuuri knew exactly what he had to do to get it; Viktor had already used all of their resources on the first container of medicine for Yuuri, after all. He couldn’t send more for Axel. There was only one option.

Yuuri had to go to the feast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The stakes are higher than ever! Yuuri has blood on his hands, Axel is dying, and Yuuri has to throw himself into a bloodbath to save her. The next chapter is going to be something.
> 
> No art for this chapter, either. Sorry ;v;
> 
> I hope y'all are having an emotional time dealing with this fic. Or at the very least, I hope you're enjoying and/or hating it. Until next time, stay tuned!


	16. The Turning Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri heads into the feast to save Axel's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big trigger warning.

Yuuri was petrified. He knew damn well that he would die if he went to the feast. Yuri Plisetsky, Lilia Barnovskaya, and Otabek Altin would definitely be there. They were the three most dangerous enemies now that the rest of the Career pack was dead. Yuuri tried to rake his mind for the rest of the tributes who were still alive, but he could barely keep track at this point. He just knew that there were 2 others he was forgetting after JJ had been the 17th tribute to die. Part of Yuuri was amazed that he’d made it this far. The rest of him knew he wouldn’t make it much further. After all, regardless of what happened, he wouldn’t live to the end of the games.

Yuuri packed only the essentials: some food and his knife. He left the rest for Axel including the water, and before he left, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. Hopefully he would make it back in time to save her if he made it back at all. However, as soon as he left the cave, he had a thought. Bringing a knife alone into a bloodbath was unwise. Trekking a little ways down the hill in the direction he was surprised he remembered, Yuuri found the blood-stained clearing he’d killed JJ in. Laying in its own pool of blood was the pickaxe. Yuuri picked up the deadly tool, eying it with distrust. He had ended a life with this pickaxe. Was he sure he could bear to wield it again? Yuuri began walking, pickaxe in hand. He really had no choice.

It was night, and the feast would start at dawn. Yuuri didn’t know exactly where the Cornucopia was, but it was definitely in the opposite direction of the mountain, so he used that as a starting point. Yuuri listened carefully as he alternated walking and jogging in case there was any sign of the wolf-like mutts. However, the night remained eerily silent. Yuuri came across a pond, which he eagerly drank out of. Not bringing water may have been unwise, but if Axel woke up, she would need it more than he would. Yuuri nibbled on another cracker and beef strip by the pond before drinking another few handfuls of water and continuing.

Hours passed, and the deathly silence left Yuuri to the chasm of his own thoughts. It was deep, and the longer he walked, the further he fell into it. He backtracked everything from the first wound he’d sustained from Lilia. He remembered in detail the days he’d been able to spend with Phichit and Christophe, and the sorrow that overcame him was deeper than any sadness he’d ever experienced. He felt sick with guilt. He felt like it was personally his fault that his two allies had died in such horrible ways. If only they hadn’t allied themselves with him, he thought, they might have stood a chance. Yuuri practically had a target painted on his back, which led to Phichit’s untimely demise, and Yuuri’s own foolishness had been responsible for Christophe’s. Yuuri’s throat was tight with the tears he refused to cry. He couldn’t cry now, not when he needed to be at his most alert. He was in so much pain, though, between the deaths of his friends and the aching wounds he’d sustained.

Why was Yuuri still alive?

Each of his wounds had the potential to kill him from blood loss or infection, yet Yuuri had managed to survive all of them. Yet somehow, Axel was the one dying from infection now. Why? What higher power had been so cruel as to subject a six-year-old to torture and death but left Yuuri alive to witness it? Perhaps that was the greatest torture of all, knowing that his efforts were in vain. If the Gamemakers decided to kill Axel, that was it. His and Axel’s fates were out of his control at the end of it, and even though he could feign autonomy by participating in the feast to save Axel, hadn’t that been planned by the Gamemakers, too? Yuuri was nothing but a puppet, fighting and killing for the Capitol’s entertainment.

That was one subject Yuuri continued to repress his thoughts about: murder. He had murdered JJ brutally. He had shown no remorse, hacking into the other man’s body over and over in order to release his rage. What had overcome him? Yuuri had never been a particularly angry type, but in that moment, all he had seen was red. He couldn’t control himself, killing JJ in vengeance for harming Axel. Yuuri could only imagine what the people back in Twelve were saying. Yuuri had grown up listening to the rumors about Viktor being cold-blooded for his kills in pure self-defense. The argument was there that Yuuri had done the same, killing JJ to protect himself and Axel, but that wasn’t true. Yuuri knew it. If it had been purely in self-defense, he wouldn’t have mutilated the body the way he had. That was overkill, and the reasoning behind that itched at the back of Yuuri’s mind. Yuuri recalled again Christophe’s speech about character. He was the one determining his own character with every action he took.

What did JJ’s murder say about him?

Yuuri repressed that reality, though. He knew he’d quite possibly have to do it again going into this feast, but this time, he assured himself, it would purely be in self-defense. He wouldn’t kill if he didn’t absolutely have to. He would defend himself as necessary, but that was it. That was his character.

Yuuri fortunately was able to find the Cornucopia. The mountain was a good point of reference, and Yuuri made sure to remember exactly where he’d come from so he could find his way back. It was almost dawn now, and Yuuri crouched just behind the tree line. Unfortunately for him, he hadn’t gotten there early enough to try the cleverest move: hiding in the Cornucopia itself, grabbing his backpack when it appeared, and bolting before anyone could react. That tactic was dangerous in itself, though, as someone tried it almost every year. Someone was probably already in the Cornucopia, waiting.

Yuuri tried to get a grip on himself, burying his thoughts about death once more so he could focus. He had to keep his eye on the prize and come up with a plan. Yuri was here somewhere, and Yuri was much faster than Yuuri. If Yuuri simply made a run for the bag, he’d likely get a sword in the back before he even reached it. No, Yuuri had to play this smarter than that. If he could, Yuuri wanted to avoid direct confrontation. How could he do that, though, if he was in plain sight? Plus, there were flaws to multiple approaches. One such approach would be to run in first before anyone else and get out the fastest, but that was a good way to make himself an easy target. However, if he waited, then he would run the risk of Yuri taking Yuuri’s backpack to try and lure him out. Yuuri tried to think from Yuri’s perspective. The teen was cocky enough to run out first and grab all of the bags to make others fight him. However, Yuri was smart, too, and making himself a target for potentially 5 people wasn’t necessarily a good plan. No, Yuri would probably let someone else make the first move and then attack, taking out at least one opponent before guarding the bags.

Yuuri figured it out, then. He would only have one opportunity to get to his bag unharmed: when Yuri was busy killing another tribute. If he could make the run while Yuri was distracted, he might just make it. Were there risks in that plan? Certainly. Yuri might immediately change targets onto Yuuri out of spite. Yuuri didn’t really have a lot of options, though, and at least with the pickaxe, he’d be able to defend himself now. Yuuri waited patiently for dawn to break. The sun was rising, lighting the sky dimly, and Yuuri knew it had to be any minute now. He prepared himself to run as soon as he saw the opportunity. However, as soon as the ground split in two and the line of tables holding the bags rose, Yuuri’s stomach dropped.

Yuuri had forgotten that there would be two District 12 bags, and they were on opposite sides of the line.

Yuuri wanted to curse out loud. How could he have forgotten that there would be two bags? Both were small, too tiny to contain anything much bigger than a vial. He knew at least one of them contained medicine, but he didn’t know which one! Presumably, it would be Axel’s because she was the injured one, but what if it was Yuuri’s because he was the one getting it? Yuuri had no way of knowing. He had no choice; he had to grab both. However, getting both significantly upped the danger of his plan. It would take him time to sprint across the seven spaced tables to get the other bag, and that time could cost him his life. Now that the tables had risen, though, there was no more time to plan.

As Yuuri had thought, the first person to appear darted out from the Cornucopia to grab his bag. It was the boy from Ten, the one that had been in love with the boy from Nine before the games. He looked worn down, skinny and pale. Yuuri wondered if what was in his bag was food or medicine. The boy made a break for the woods in Yuuri’s general direction, but before he could make it to the tree line, a throwing knife struck him in the shoulder. Yuuri knew just who it was that threw knives so well, remembering his own shoulder wound from Lilia, but she didn’t reveal herself even after throwing the blade. Instead, Yuri came barreling from the direction the knife had come from with a long sword in hand. Yuuri realized that he and Lilia must have still been allies despite everything, and he mentally cursed even more. This was going to be even more difficult with both Yuri and Lilia’s knives to worry about.

However, as Yuri started hacking away at the poor boy from Ten, Yuuri knew this was the best chance he’d have. He made a run for it, angling himself for the far right backpack as to not directly cross paths with Yuuri. Yuri didn’t notice him at first, too caught up in his bloodlust, but Lilia did. Yuuri heard the knife whizzing toward him and ducked just in time to avoid a blade to the head. Yuuri snatched the first backpack and made a run for the second, but to his horror, Yuri had noticed him, and now Yuri was there holding the 12F backpack, which most likely contained the medicine.

Yuri snarled, eyes like a predator that had at long last found its prey. “Found you, _pig_.”

Yuuri was able to block the first swing of the sword with his pickaxe. However, he knew the tool wasn’t designed for a swordfight, so Yuuri used the same tactic as he had with JJ. He dodged the second swipe and tucked and rolled to the side to get behind Yuri. Yuri was too smart for that, though, kicking a leg out sideways and striking Yuuri in the side. Yuuri wheezed, the breath knocked out of him as he was rolled over onto his back, and he just barely reacted in time to block get another swing of the sword with the pickaxe again. Yuri sneered, pressing his weight into the sword atop Yuuri. “You think a flimsy little pickaxe is going to be enough against me? I’m going to kill you, and then that little girl is going to die.” Yuuri glared up at Yuri, and the teen smirked as if he’d hit the nail on the head. “She’s sick, right? She must be if you were stupid enough to come face me here. You wanted to grab medicine for her, right?” Yuri laughed cruelly. “You were stupid to ever think you could save her. Color me impressed that you made it this far! However, this ends _now._ ”

With a quick change of grip, Yuri wrenched the sword into the crook of the pickaxe and yanked, sending the tool clattering just out of Yuuri’s reach. Yuuri stared up at Yuri with wide eyes. It was just like their fight during training; Yuri had used the exact same method to disarm him! However, now Yuuri would pay the price for his mistake; this time, he would die.

Just before Yuri brought the sword down on Yuuri, though, a large shape came barreling in, tackling Yuri to the side. Yuuri blinked, not registering what the flurry of movement was at first until he realized that Yuri was wrestling with none other than Otabek Altin. The two tossed and turned, Otabek using his leverage to wrench back Yuri’s wrist and make him drop the sword with a yelp form the younger blond. Yuuri watched in astonishment as Otabek picked Yuri up like a ragdoll and threw him into the side of the Cornucopia. While Yuri was down, heaving from getting thrown like that, Otabek turned to Yuuri.

“Quick. Grab your bags. Run. Save the little girl,” he said shortly in a deep voice. Yuuri figured out what was happening and came to his senses just quickly enough to roll out of the way of another knife thrown by Lilia. He quickly snatched up his bags and pickaxe before bolting, using the bags to shield him from the frenzy of knives that came flying his way. Two of them lodged themselves in the bag, and Yuuri was momentarily pleased to gain more of the tools.

However, Yuuri was more perplexed than anything. Otabek had… _saved_ him. But why? Why would Otabek— then Yuuri remembered. The little old lady from Otabek’s district, the one who had died on the first day. She was helpless from the start, but Yuuri had wondered if Otabek might have tried to save her as his fellow district ally. The fact that he told Yuuri to go save Axel made sense if that was true; after losing his own ally, Otabek might have felt pity for Yuuri, who was in the same situation of protecting a helpless tribute. That was the only explanation Yuuri could think of for Otabek’s actions, anyway. Yuuri broke the tree line, and the knives stopped coming. The fight was down to Otabek, Yuri, and Lilia now. Something told Yuuri that whoever the other remaining tribute was wouldn’t dare show their face now.

Yuuri just kept running, half expecting Lilia to pursue him, but she didn’t, and after a while, he slowed to a walk. He walked and walked until he came upon that pond again and stopped. He drank some water and then settled down to inspect the bags. As he’d thought, Axel’s bag contained a vial of strangely colored salve that could only be Capitol medicine. However, what was in Yuuri’s, then? Yuuri reached for his own bag, and inside, he found the last thing he was expecting. Inside was a carefully wrapped golden locket. Yuuri opened the locket, and in it were two pictures: one of his family, and one of the Nishigoris. In both pictures, everyone was smiling, and Yuuri felt a wave of confusion overcome him. Why was _that_ what was in the bag? The bags were supposed to contain something each tribute desperately needed. Why did Yuuri contain jewelry instead of medicine or food or a weapon or literally anything else? Yuuri wanted to scream. A locket was _useless!_

However, Yuuri knew he didn’t have much time to sit around being angry over a locket. He had to get back to Axel with the medicine before it was too late. Pocketing the medicine and the locket both, Yuuri got to his feet and broke off in a jog again. Somewhere along the way, he heard a cannon and figured that Otabek’s and Yuri’s fight must have been over. He wondered which one of them had survived and could only hope it was Otabek.

Yuuri finally reached the cave, and he sprinted the last several meters to it. He all but fell to his knees at Axel’s side and quickly retrieved the vial from his pocket. “Axel!” he exclaimed. “Look! I got the medicine!” He unscrewed the cap and coated his fingers in the slimy substance. “Now I can—“

Yuuri froze as he looked at Axel. She wasn’t moving. Her chest didn’t even rise or fall. Her eyes were wide open, completely unblinking and dilated. She was so pale.

Yuuri’s stomach dropped in horror. “No…” He brought his fingers to her neck. It was still, and she was freezing cold to the touch. “No, no, no, no, _no!_ ” Yuuri shrieked. The tears immediately flooded his eyes. “Axel! Axel, wake up!” He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. She was incredibly stiff. How long…? Yuuri shook his head. No! It couldn’t be true! He had gotten the medicine! He was going to save her!

Yuuri spread the medicine on Axel’s wound, but her flesh was so, so cold. She didn’t once blink her eyes, and Yuuri noticed that her lips were blue. He choked. It was only then that he put together that the cannon he had heard a few hours ago on his way back hadn’t been for Yuri or Otabek.

Yuuri buried his face in Axel’s chest and sobbed.

Yuuri rocked Axel’s body in his arms. She was limp like a ragdoll, but her joints were stiff with rigor mortis. Yuuri applied layer after layer of the medicine, but the wound never healed. Axel’s eyes stared past Yuuri into something unreachable from the mortal realm, and eventually Yuuri came to terms with the futility of his actions. Placing a finger on each eyelid, he slid them shut.

Yuuri clutched Axel still, though, he cries loud and horrible. However, he didn’t care right now if another tribute heard him. Let them. Let Yuri come to him right now and drive that sword of his through Yuuri’s heart. He was already as good as dead. He had no reason anymore. His reason and his purpose for living; they had both died with Axel. Yes. Died. She was dead. Axel was dead. Dead, dead, dead. Yuuri kept chanting it to himself in a whisper as if that would make him believe it. “Dead, dead, dead,” he murmured. He was rocking Axel back and forth.

It seemed impossible, though; how had the little girl who had only a day ago held his hand and whispered words of affirmation be dead? Axel, who was completely innocent in the crimes committed here, was gone. How? Why? What higher power had allowed such irony? Why was she dead, and why was Yuuri still alive? Axel was _dead!_ So why was Yuuri, who had sworn to protect her, still cursed by his own life? Yuuri felt sick. He’d long since emptied his stomach just outside the cave. Yuuri didn’t have a reason to do this anymore. Survival, making it through the games, it meant nothing without Axel.

Yuuri heaved dryly. He was out of tears. This was all of his fault. It had been _his_ responsibility to protect Axel, but instead he’d left her alone to go to the feast. She’d died alone in a cold cave, and it was all Yuuri’s fault. Maybe if had tried harder to find disinfectants, maybe if he’d paid more attention in training, maybe if he’d just listened to his mother all of those years ago, Axel would still be here. Yuuri clawed at his hair with his fingers and wailed. He’d done it! He’d killed Axel! It had been him! Christophe had been right about character; Yuuri was a _murderer_.

Yuuri screamed and cried some more, but eventually, his voice went hoarse and he had to pant to catch his breath. He laid back against the wall of the cave in defeat. He had nothing now. No purpose, no reason to keep living. He couldn’t go back home now. He couldn’t live with himself. He couldn’t bear to see the look on Yuuko’s face when she confronted him about murdering her daughter. He couldn’t bear the whispers and truthful accusations that would surround him like a black cloud for the rest of his days. Yuuri couldn’t stand it. His family probably didn’t even want him to come home now after all the shame he’d brought them. Nobody wanted a son with blood on his hands. Yuuri was just like Viktor now, but worse. Yuuri was more than an outcast. He was a true murderer.

Yuuri didn’t eat. He didn’t drink for the rest of the day. He didn’t move. Somewhere, distantly, he heard a cannon, but he didn’t care. The only death he cared about was Axel’s. Yuuri barely even registered the recap telling the deaths of Otabek, the boy from Ten, and Axel. The only thing he could focus on was Axel’s portrait, bright-eyed and breathing. He could hardly even put that image of her liveliness together with the husk he held now. Yuuri curled up beside the body, burying his face in his chest, and continued crying dry tears until he fell unconscious.

Yuuri had never experienced death the way he did now. Death before had been a cruel reality after Phichit and Christophe, but now it was more than that. It was thick, viscous, filling the air with its rotten stench. Yuuri felt like he was wading through molasses as he moved through it. It was all around, filling the air and his lungs with that horrible smell. Yuuri had only encountered the scent of decay so closely once before when Vicchan had died, but it had been nothing like this. Yuuri could taste it. It fogged his vision with darkness. It rang in his ears with deadly silence. Death was a looming creature, not breathing but wiggling in between his fingers and toes. It encompassed every part of him, itching under his skin and fingernails. He clenched his fists and felt it ooze. It feather out from his lungs into his throat until he vomited it, too, thick and black. It stained his lips. It stained his organs.

Yuuri was full of death.

When Yuuri awoke, the smell of death was in the air. He didn’t cry this time as he looked at Axel, so still and pale. He almost wanted to pretend she was sleeping, but he knew he had moved past denial. Yuuri was wordless, scooping the girl’s body in his arms and carrying her outside. He picked a single dandelion, placing it on her chest before returning to the mouth of the cave and watched as the hovercraft came and took her away. The sunshine was mockingly bright, beaming down on his ice-cold flesh hotly. Yuuri sat in it awhile, letting it penetrate his flesh and warm him up physically. However, it never seemed to quite reach the source of the cold.

Yuuri didn’t register what he was doing. It was like an out of body experience as he watched himself pack up the supplies and start walking. He didn’t know where he was going. He didn’t know what he was doing. He simply watched himself do it as if watching someone on television. Yuuri found himself back at the river, so much larger after the rain, and for a moment, he considered plunging himself into it. Why not? What else was there to do? He wasn’t planning on winning the games. He never had been. So if Axel couldn’t live, why should he?

Instead, Yuuri watched himself sit down and carefully clean his wounds. He washed each one gingerly, taking his time to clear away the dirt and blood. He rinsed each with the cool water and then, to his own surprise, coated them with the remaining salve from Axel’s feast backpack. Why, he wondered, was he doing this? He had no reason to save himself. Maybe he was on autopilot. Yuuri condensed the smaller bags of supplies into the largest backpack. He stuffed the other packs into the sleeping bag case and tied it at his hip. He picked up the pickaxe and continued walking downstream. Maybe, he thought, he’d run into the beavers again, and then they could end his miserable life. He never did, though, even as he passed the place their dam had been. The rain must have washed it away. Yuuri, of all things, found his eyes repeatedly flitting down to the pickaxe in his hand. _Oh_ , he realized. It was still covered in blood. JJ’s blood and… Yuuri felt sick. Axel’s blood, too. JJ had impaled her with the pickaxe, too. Yuuri realized with an icy feeling that he was holding the weapon that had killed Axel.

Then, Yuuri realized it. Yes… Axel had died by the pickaxe. Yuuri’s attempts to save her may have failed, but it had ultimately been the infected wound that had killed her. It was the pickaxe, the one that Yuuri had repeatedly stabbed in JJ. JJ had held it then, though. JJ had hurt Axel. Didn’t it follow, then, that JJ was the one who had actually killed her? It was prolonged and indirect as the infection had been what did it, but the wound inflicted by JJ had killed Axel. JJ had murdered Axel.

_JJ murdered Axel. JJ murdered Axel. I murdered JJ. I avenged Axel._

Yuuri crouched down by the river and carefully cleansed the blood from the pickaxe. It was a little larger and a lot sharper than the pickaxes he’d used back home, but it felt familiar in his hands. Yes, because he’d used it to kill JJ. He’d used it to avenge Axel’s murder. It was all them, Yuuri realized. JJ and his crew. They’d been the ones to kill the little girl, not Yuuri. They’d wanted to hurt her from the start just to get to him. Now she was dead, and it was all _their_ fault. JJ. Isabella. Mila. Lilia. Yuri Plisetsky. It was them who had made it their personal mission to chase down Yuuri and Axel and kill them. Now Axel was dead, but _Yuuri was alive_.

Yuuri stood, clutching the clean pickaxe in his hand. The metal pick gleamed in the sun, and Yuuri stared at it with a blank expression. He was still alive, and so were Yuri and Lilia, the ones responsible for Axel’s murder. Axel was dead, and yet somehow, they were still alive.

Yuuri would have to change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you have it. A few of you predicted a lot of what happened in this chapter, but Yuuri has reached a major turning point in his psyche. Axel is gone, so things are going to certainly be rocky from here.
> 
> Ahaha... this chapter was intense to write ;v;
> 
> Anyway, please let me know what you think! Y'alls comments give me life. Thank you for reading this emotional rollercoaster! <3


	17. Rampage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri decides to hunt down the Careers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUUUYS GioGioStar made [fanart](https://writing-eros.tumblr.com/post/630259417544294400/so-i-have-been-reading-cold-hearts-colder-games) from the last chapter!! I'm incredibly honored to receive such amazing art from my fic ;A; Thank you so much, GioGioStar!
> 
> With that said, here's another chapter coming atcha! Don't get too excited.

Yuuri walked through the woods, the pickaxe heavy in his hand. He barely blinked and barely thought. He just kept walking. Two words repeated themselves over and over in his mind: _Avenge Axel. Avenge Axel._ As he continued walking, his wounds ceased to ache, and he inspected them to find them to be no more than cat scratches now. He stopped and picked some berries, popping them into his mouth one by one. The juices stained his fingers red. He stared at them, but he felt nothing. He drank some water, too, and the water was almost too foggy to see his reflection. Slowly, strength returned to him. For the first time since he’d been struck with Lilia’s knife, he felt truly able-bodied again. Yes, he was strong—strong enough to do what had to be done. Yuuri tossed the pickaxe just a little bit and caught it again, and again. Where, oh where were the murderers? Yuuri had walked a good ways down the river without any sign of Yuri and Lilia, so Yuuri figured they must have found another water source somewhere. Where, oh where? Yuuri swung his pickaxe leisurely. Where, oh where?

“Come out, come out,” he whispered. “Come out, come out wherever you are.”

The afternoon grew hotter as the sun reached past its peak, and Yuuri still had no clue as to where his targets were. Yuuri sat and drank from the cloudy river again. His efforts were probably pointless, he realized. The arena was large, and Yuri and Lilia were two people in the expanse of it. Somewhere else, a fourth tribute hid, but Yuuri didn’t care about them. His mind was set on the Careers. Yuuri mindlessly tapped the dirt with his pickaxe, and soon he became lost in thought. The Careers… Yes, they were Careers, specially trained to kill. They had killed Axel. Yuuri would avenge her, but… how? The more Yuuri thought about it, the more he realized he was going at this all wrong. What was his plan? To march through the woods until he encountered the two Careers, who would immediately impale him with various blades? No, that was foolish. This entire plot was pointless if Yuuri died from it. Yuuri didn’t care what happened to him after Axel was avenged, but until she was, he had to stay alive. No, Yuuri needed a plan. As much as he wanted to drive his pickaxe between Yuri Plisetsky’s eyes, he couldn’t be rash. Two against one left the odds against Yuuri. That meant only one thing: he had to separate the Careers. How, though?

Yuuri could think of several ways to lure the Careers. Setting a fire in the daylight was probably the easiest, but simply making a fire wouldn’t guarantee than only one Career would be drawn to it. Additionally, this wouldn’t be the first games where a daylight fire had been used as a trap, which would make it all the more logical that either both Careers would scope it out or neither would. There had to be something else. Then, Yuuri remembered his snares. He knew several ones, albeit basic, but while they were intended for animals, could they possibly work on humans? Yuuri hummed in thought. Yes… Yes, if he modified them, he could make one work. Maybe the one Yuri had stomped to pieces in training? Yuuri could almost laugh at the irony. He could trap Yuri with that very same trap and then charge. However, that still didn’t solve the issue of luring Yuri without Lilia. Yuuri mused it more and more, but he was drawing a blank. If only there was a way to distract one of the Careers and lure the other.

Then, Yuuri had it. Supplies. Yuri and Lilia were probably depending on the Cornucopia for supplies, but given that it was the 12th day in the arena, they were likely running out of food by now. Coming from District 1, Yuri and Lilia likely had no foraging experience, which meant that they would be dependent on hunting meat. Being so loud, it would be foolish of them to both go hunting, so in all likelihood, one would hunt while the other guarded their camp. As to where their camp was, Yuuri had some ideas. It could’ve been by the Cornucopia itself, but that left them exposed in a clearing for mutts or whatever else the Gamemakers designed to kill them. Besides, the Cornucopia was missing one important feature: water. Yuri and Lilia needed water to make it this far, but Yuuri doubted they’d traveled far to find it. No, they were most likely camped out at a water source near the Cornucopia, so if he circled the area, he could likely find them. Finding them posed its own risks, though; what if they heard him coming and attacked? Yuuri was much quieter than them, but if they were used to hunting animals by now, they’d likely hear him if he got too close. Yuuri’s mind came back to fire.

Slowly, he was formulating a plan.

Yuuri knew it was risky. Yuuri couldn’t guarantee that Yuri and Lilia would do what he expected; he could only base his guess off of past behavior. If a target was spotted, they’d both attack to cover each other’s backs. They’d done as much at the feast. Yuuri ironed out the details of his plan as he trudged the long way back to the Cornucopia. He would build a fire after all, but he wouldn’t have much time. As soon as the smoke went up from the Cornucopia, the Careers would abandon their post and check it out. They’d know it was a ruse. It was obvious as no sane tribute would make a fire by the Cornucopia. That’s exactly why it would lure them, though. They would suspect a trick and check it out, assuming they were close enough nearby that it would be a short trip. From there, Yuuri would spring into action.

It was almost dusk by the time Yuuri reached the Cornucopia, but that wouldn’t matter if the Careers were close enough. Smoke would be visible from nearby. As he’d expected, the Careers were nowhere in sight, but to Yuuri’s delight, what was in sight was smoke from a fire. It wasn’t too far off, either, and Yuuri knew exactly who had set it. The Careers may not have been stupid enough to stay by the Cornucopia, but that didn’t mean they weren’t cocky. They didn’t fear Yuuri or the other remaining tribute, so they had no reason not to set a fire. Yuuri laughed. He’d originally planned to wait and see which direction the Careers came from, but this bought him much more time. With that much settled, Yuuri got to work building his own fire. He made it big and full of leafy branches that would give off a lot of smoke. As he lit it, he ran into the tree line and headed just left of the smoke he’d seen. He would make an arc around the most direct path to get to the other fire.

Yuri and Lilia were just as loud as they’d always been, and Yuuri heard two sets of crashing footsteps nearby going in a straight line toward the Cornucopia. Yuuri sighed with relief. As he’d hoped, both had gone to check out the fire. That was perfect. Yuuri waited until those footsteps had passed him by enough of a distance before break back into a run. Even with the time he’d bought, he still needed to hurry. The smoke led him straight to the Career’s campsite. It was next to a pond, and it was both impressive and intimidating. Two tents were set up around the fire, and littering the area were weapons of all shapes and sizes. Different blades, bows and arrows, you name it. Yuuri couldn’t, as so many of the killing instruments were unfamiliar to him. They looked deadly all the same.

Yuuri shook himself from his thoughts. He needed to focus. What he was looking for wasn’t in plain sight, so it had to be in one of the tents. He rummaged through the first one and only found medical supplies. He opened up the other one and smirked. Jackpot. Here, a fair amount of food was piled up. Most of it was meat wrapped in cloth, as he’d predicted. Yuuri grabbed as much as he could before coming across a dilemma: what would he do with it? There was too much to merely run away with. Yuuri considered his options before looking at the fire. It wasn’t perfect, but it’d have to do. Yuuri rummaged through the meat, finding the smaller bits like rabbits and squirrels and throwing them into the fire. The smaller the piece of meat was, the faster it would burn, and Yuuri wanted as little to be salvageable as possible. He cut some slightly larger chunks of meat up, too, throwing them into the fire as well until what was remaining was manageable to carry. Lugging the containers of meat, Yuuri ran just a little ways away, remaining just within sight of the campsite. He hid the meat under some bushes before climbing a nearby tree with thick bunches of needles. He’d be nearly impossible to see up there unless someone was right under him. Yuuri waited.

He didn’t have to wait long, though, as two sets of footsteps came barreling back to the campsite. Yuuri watched from his perch as the familiar woman and teenager tore through their tents. Yuuri heard enraged screaming, and Yuri emerged from the tent where the food had been. Lilia was picking through the fire, but she didn’t look pleased by what she found. Yuuri was too far away to hear what was said, but it involved a lot of shouting between Lilia and Yuri. Yuuri managed to catch some of the louder words. “He’s fucking mocking us, Lilia!” Yuri screamed. Yuuri had a feeling Yuri knew exactly who had stolen their food. “He thinks we’re stupid!” Lilia’s reply was too quiet to hear, and Yuri went red in the face. “We should go out and catch him _now!_ He can’t be far away!” Lilia pointed something out, however, and Yuri recoiled, looking down at the ground. Yuuri listened closely, but he couldn’t make out the words. Something about ‘wolves.’ Yuri settled back down by the fire, looking visibly livid, but neither Career moved to start a search, and Yuuri figured out what must have occurred. Yuri had wanted to go find Yuri, but Lilia had pointed out that the sun was about to set, which meant the wolves would prowl soon. Yuuri had no idea if the Careers had already encountered the beasts, but whatever the case, they clearly weren’t eager to be found by them while hunting for Yuuri.

Yuuri felt victorious. All thus far had gone according to plan. Night fell, and Yuuri tied himself in the tree. The sky showed that no one had died today, but Yuuri was certain he was putting on enough of a show to gain him some peace. He turned in after that, though, knowing he had to wake up before the Careers did.

When Yuuri blinked awake, it was still dark out, and he looked toward the campsite. The fire was out, and while it took a few moments for Yuuri’s eyes to adjust to the darkness, he saw no sign of Yuri or Lilia. They must have been sleeping, Yuuri deduced. _Good._ He silently climbed down from the tree. The sky was a dark grey, signifying that the sun would rise soon. Hopefully the Careers wouldn’t wake with it; he needed some time.

Yuuri walked away from the campsite until it was well out of sight and earshot before finding a small clearing and getting to work. He gathered some branches and cut himself a length of wire from the spool he’d acquired at the start of the games. The first attempt fell apart, and the second took Yuuri probably half an hour to set, by which time the sky was getting lighter. Yuuri looked upon his snare proudly, though, before concealing it with underbrush. It was a modified version of a rabbit snare, meant not to catch such a small creature but instead a human foot. It wasn’t the most skillfully assembled; Yuuri knew that it wouldn’t be hard for a grown human to escape from. Trapping wasn’t the objective, though. Yuuri made a large circle with the campsite as a center point, setting three more of the same snare, this time with a little more ease. By the time he was finished, a couple of hours had gone by, and the sun had risen. Not wanting to risk missing his chance, Yuuri snuck his way back to the tree by the campsite.

Luckily for Yuuri, Yuri and Lilia were caught in another argument when he arrived, allowing him to slip into a bush within which to watch unnoticed. Neither Career was yelling this time, but Yuuri could guess what they were talking about: food. Yuuri had stolen or burned most if not all of their meat, and while they may have had rations squirreled away somewhere, they had no choice but to hunt. The argument, then, was probably whether or not they should both go. However, Yuuri knew what the answer to that was—if both Careers left, their camp would be unprotected and vulnerable to another raid. Additionally, they were too loud together to hunt. In fact… Yuuri realized just as she got up and gathered a bow and a quiver of arrows that Lilia would be the one to hunt. Yuri, even alone, was too heavy-footed. Lilia, on the other hand, could carry herself with grace if necessary, so she was the only option. Yuuri felt a little put out; he’d hoped to ensnare Yuri. Lilia would have to suffice, though. Lilia stalked away to the left of where Yuuri hid. Yuri settled by the fire pit with a sword in hand, looking incredibly bored and irritated. Yuuri carefully snuck away from him.

Yuuri went the general direction that Lilia had gone, and as he’d hoped, she didn’t stray too far. Not wanting to abandon their camp for long, she prowled quietly through the woods somewhere near the perimeter Yuuri had set his snares in. She wasn’t silent, though; she wasn’t raised to hunt animals. Yuuri was able to follow her from just out of sight by the sounds of her footsteps, and from there, he contemplated what to do. He needed to lure her again, this time into one of his traps. The nearest one was a little ways away, though, and Yuuri knew that a fire wouldn’t do the trick this time around. No, that was too obviously a trap, but there was another simple solution that might do the trick. Yuuri found a palm-sized stone on the ground and threw it as far as he could in the direction of his trap. It struck a tree, and birds exploded from the branches with distressed chirps. Lilia, of course, snapped her head in that direction. She pulled an arrow from her quiver and prepped it before slowly stalking that way.

That wouldn’t do, though; Yuuri needed her to go further and faster. Yuuri silently made his way toward the snare alongside Lilia. This time, though, he crept a little farther than she did and threw a rock in the opposite direction. She was smart. First, she turned in the direction of the sound, but then she continued stalking toward the snare. She was too clever to think that two sounds like that in a row weren’t intentional; no, she was searching not for the sounds themselves, but the source: the person who threw the rocks. Yuuri stepped right out of her sight before purposely breaking into a run, making a beeline for the trap. As expected, footsteps began running behind him; Lilia realized that she had caught someone. What she didn’t realize is that he’d wanted to be caught. When Yuuri made it to the clearing where his snare was, he immediately came to a stop, pressing himself to the backside of a tree and waiting. Lilia came to a stop in the clearing, too, as soon as she realized that the footsteps she’d been pursuing had stopped. She held her bow and arrow in preparation, turning left and right cautiously as she quietly crept forward.

Yuuri smirked.

Lilia shouted in alarm as her leg became tangled in the snare. She instinctively tried to yank it out, but that only made it close tighter around her leg. Fortunately for Yuuri, she hadn’t figured out that the snare was flimsy enough to break free from. Instead, she crouched to undo the loop from around her leg, and Yuuri didn’t hesitate. Yuuri span around the tree and charged Lilia from behind, pickaxe overhead. She reacted just in time to look at Yuuri in alarm and dodge to the left. Her leg was still trapped, though, and she only made it far enough the for the pickaxe to bury itself into her shoulder instead of her skull. She screamed in pain.

Lilia fumbled for her knives, but her aim was off. She threw them, but while one grazed Yuuri’s cheek, none pierced his body. Yuuri swung the pickaxe around in a sideways arc, and when Lilia ducked, he threw the moment backwards and bashed the side of her head with the handle. She doubled over, clutching her head as it began to bleed, and Yuuri didn’t hesitate this time. With one final swing, he buried the pickaxe into her skull.

For a moment, everything went still. Lilia’s eyes were wide, blood dripping between them from the wound. Yuuri held the pickaxe there, staring into those horrified green eyes without remorse.

_Die for Axel._

Then time continued. Lilia’s legs gave out, and she dropped her knives. Her body slumped backwards, taking the pickaxe with it as Lilia fell onto her back, staring up at the sky. The cannon boomed. Yuuri placed a foot on Lilia’s shoulder and used it for leverage as he pulled the pickaxe from her skull before shaking the blood off of it. Lilia didn’t move again.

Yuuri didn’t get much time to bask in the moment, though; shortly after the cannon went off, footsteps came barreling in their direction, and Yuuri quietly stepped behind a tree again. Yuuri bounded into the clearing, shouting, “ _Lilia!_ ” He looked horrified as he laid eyes upon her, dropping to his knees at her side. “Lilia? _Lilia!_ ” he screamed, shaking her corpse as if she’d wake up. Yuuri considered for a moment if he should take this moment of distraction to end Yuri as well, but this time, he hesitated. No… No, let Yuri feel it. Let Yuri feel the anguish of losing someone dear to him. Let him _feel_ what he had done to Axel and Yuuri!

With that, Yuuri silently crept away, listening to the sobs that soon echoed into silence.

Yuuri didn’t go back to the campsite. At this point, going there just to retrieve the meat he’d stolen was a fool’s errand. As soon as Yuri had come to terms with Lilia’s death, he likely began hunting for the perpetrator. Chance were, he knew exactly who it was; who else would have chosen a pickaxe to kill Lilia?

Yuuri made his way back to the river and cleansed the blood from his pickaxe once more. This time, though, he felt fire in his blood as he did so. He’d done it. He’d killed her. He’d killed one of Axel’s murderers! Yuuri was one step closer to truly avenging her. Then, he could be at peace.

The day went on, and Yuuri fished. He was running low on food himself, but that wasn’t much of an issue for him. He set a fire in broad daylight to roast them, too. He hoped Yuri would find him. He hoped that he could see the look on his face as Yuuri laughed at him. However, yuri never came. He must have been closer to the Cornucopia still, then. Yuuri hummed, shifting his pickaxe in the sun so the metal gleamed. _I better go end his search, then._ Yuuri ate and packed up the rest of his supplies once more. He’d already made the walk back to the river, though, which made going all the way back to the Cornucopia seem silly. Yuuri mulled it over for a minute or two before sitting back down by the river and looking into it. He could just barely make out his face, but it was hazy. What he did see were the splatters of blood.

Yuuri washed his face in the river, watching the blood wash away in swirls of red. He imagined Yuuko watched him avenge her daughter back home. Fishing into his pocket, he pulled out the locket and opened it, looking at the smiling faces of Axel and his childhood friend. He would do this for them. He would do this for both of them. Maybe that’s why he’d been sent the locket. It was a reminder of what he was fighting for. He closed it again and held it in his hand. Somehow, he knew that wasn’t it.

The afternoon grew later and later, and Yuuri decided it had been long enough. He got up and began walking back toward the Cornucopia. This way, he would make it most of the way there by sundown. By then, Yuri would likely have given up, though. Yuuri nibbled his lip. He’d have to find a way to lure the teenager again, then. Maybe another fire? If Yuri thought that Yuuri had set it, it would probably do the trick. Now, the matter was weakening Yuri enough to kill him. Yuuri was outmatched in combat, even with a pickaxe. Yuri had demonstrated that during the feast. Yuri wouldn’t fall for snares, either, not after Lilia’s death. Yuuri considered simply sneaking up on Yuri and killing him in his sleep, but something told Yuuri that Yuri wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. Yuuri hummed. What to do, what to do…

Yuuri realized as he continued walking, though, that he wasn’t even being careful to be quiet. He wasn’t looking or listening for any sign of trouble. That’s when Yuuri realized that for the first time since the games started, he felt like the hunter instead of the hunted. He felt like a predator instead of prey, and Yuri Plisetsky would make wonderful prey. Yuuri curled his lip at the thought of the blond. Yes, he’d kill him. In fact, he’d kill him so brutally that every ounce of cruelty that had gone into Axel’s death would be magnified back onto Yuri. Yuri would feel pain like he never had for what he’d done to Axel. Axel, Axel… Yuuri’s heart ached as he thought of her. The poor little girl. She’d never deserved what had happened to her, not from the moment she’d been reaped. He wondered what kind of cruel power would allow a little girl to die like that, but Yuuri knew: it was the Gamemakers. They’d been coordinating everything from above, and they had all the power in the world to save Axel. Instead, though, they lead her straight to her death at the hands of JJ. JJ, the Career. Yuuri grit his teeth. Their kind had to die, and this time, Yuuri would be the cruel higher power to do it.

It’s what Axel would have wanted.

Yuuri made it to the forest around the Cornucopia. He didn’t dare get too close, though—he couldn’t set up camp too near to Yuri’s. Yuuri didn’t want to die in his sleep. Instead, he stopped a mile or so away from the Cornucopia. Dusk fell, and Yuuri climbed a tree. He chewed on roasted fish as the sky displayed the news of Lilia’s death. Yuuri looked at her cold expression in her portrait and grimaced. Someone as cruel as her deserved to die.

Yuuri had to wonder, however, what was next. There were three tributes left including Yuuri, meaning they were approaching the finale. The finale of the Hunger Games was never anything pretty; it was always started by the Gamemakers employing some cruel tactic to push the remaining tributes together. After that, it was one final bloodbath. The last of the tributes would fight to the death under whatever perilous circumstances the Gamemakers had cooked up. It would be a horrific affair.

Yuuri brandished his pickaxe in the moonlight with a cold prickle in his chest. He was ready for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Yuuri's lost it.
> 
> As the end of the chapter suggested, we're approaching the end of the games, and let me tell you, I have one hell of a finale planned. I took some inspiration from events in Hunger Games canon, but it's still going to be a wild ride! Prepare yourselves. Yuuri's not playing around anymore.
> 
> This chapter wasn't my favorite. The next chapter is going to be a lot better, though, so buckled your seatbelts.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and please let me know what you think! <3


	18. The Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri awakes to an earthquake. Everything seems to happen so fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strap yourself in, bois, thois, and other ethereal creatures. It's the moment of truth.

Yuuri woke up to a deep rumbling. He groggily blinked his eyes open one at a time. Another rumble came, this one shaking the branched of the tree he was in. What was that? Was it an earthquake? Yuuri looked down at the ground as another rumbled came and realized everything was shaking. Then it was silent for a moment before Yuuri heard footsteps. Not a human’s, though—the footsteps were multiple and too light. Yuuri heard a howl and jumped to attention. The wolves! They were back! Yuuri was safe in his tree, but he didn’t want to risk anything. He grabbed his pickaxe. The wolves appeared beneath. However, instead of gathering and jumping at the tree to get to Yuuri, they ran right past. Yuuri frowned. They looked… frightened? Why? Was it the earthquake? Then another rumble came, this one deeper and more powerful than the rest, so much so that Yuuri’s tree shook violently. Yuuri was glad he was tied to it. However, after that, there was another sound. _An explosion._

Yuuri realized all at once what was happening and felt the blood drain from his face. He scrambled to untie himself from the tree and all but leapt to the ground before breaking into a sprint.

Yuuri looked behind him. From the mountain, smoke erupted, and lava cascaded down every side. While Yuuri knew he was miles away from the mountain turned volcano, he kept running. Lava was supposed to be slow and thick like molasses; this wasn’t regular lava. It streamed down the mountain at a terrifying speed and seeped into the trees. Fire caught, and Yuuri saw smoke billowing into the air. He didn’t have much time. All around Yuuri, animals ran. The sprinted in fear like the wolves had, and Yuuri did, too. He began to smell smoke and knew that the forest fire was quickly spreading. Whether the fire or the lava would reach him first, he didn’t know, but he wasn’t going to stick around to find out. All of it was definitely designed by the Gamemakers, which meant it wouldn’t be slow to reach him.

Yuuri kept running and began to cough as the smoke grew thicker. He looked behind him again to see that the fire had grown alarmingly close. He looked around, trying to see which directions the smoke was coming from and realized that the fire was spreading to either side as well as behind him. Then Yuuri knew. This volcanic eruption was meant to drive the remaining tributes to the Cornucopia. This was the finale.

Yuuri doubled over and hacked some more. The smoke was growing so thick, it made the air a dark grey. Yuuri knew he had to get out of it as soon as possible, so he changed paths and made a beeline toward the Cornucopia, the place that would be both safest and most deadly. As Yuuri broke into the clearing, he heard trees crashing behind him. He whirled around, and surely enough, the lava was only meters away. Yuuri’s jaw dropped. How had it traveled so fast? It was still speeding toward him, too, and the fire now lit the trees all around the clearing. Yuuri made the only logical decision he could—he ran to the Cornucopia itself. The golden metal was textured like woven wood as if it were a real cornucopia, and Yuuri started climbing it. The lava began pooling below, and the metal grew hot. It grew more difficult to climb as the metal got increasingly hotter, and Yuuri just hoped it wouldn’t melt. As Yuuri was clambering on top, though, his foot slipped. Yuuri shrieked, but before he could fall into the lava, someone caught his hand. Yuuri looked up to find Minami, the tribute Yuuri had forgotten, keeping Yuuri from falling.

“Qick! Grab my hand!” Minami shouted, holding out his other hand, and Yuuri grasped it. The other boy struggled, but he managed to pull Yuuri up before the two of them collapsed, panting. Yuuri looked over at Minami in disbelief. He’d survived! The scrawny boy from three had survived! He looked even skinnier than before, though, and Yuuri wonder just how he’d managed not to starve to death.

“Minami… how…?” Yuuri started.

Minami grinned, sitting up. “I did what you taught me, Yuuri! I set fires to stay warm, and then I used what I learned from training to stay alive! I found berries and nuts to eat, and I climbed trees at night.” Minami looked proud. “I did what you would do, Yuuri!”

Yuuri was astonished. All of this time, and the teen was still trying to model himself after _Yuuri?_ “But… why?” Yuuri couldn’t help but ask. “Why me?”

Minami looked at Yuuri like he had hung the stars. “Because you’re amazing! You came here to protect that little girl, and you did! For so long, she lived! I’m sorry for what happened to her, whatever it was, but Yuuri,” Minami’s expression was adoring. “You did your best. You kept her alive as long as you could, and you did it because you have a strong heart. You didn’t give into the games. From the start, you were pure of heart, and you kept that kindness with you even as things grew more and more horrid here. You’re everything I want to be.” Yuuri stared disbelievingly. Minami admired Yuuri. He _believed_ in Yuuri, and it was because… Yuuri had a pure heart? That wasn’t true, though! Yuuri had fought, and he’d killed! He killed JJ, and then he’d hunted down Lilia and… and…

Yuuri realized with an icy feeling colder than anything he’d ever experienced what he’d done.

Minami looked confused as Yuuri stared at him, face growing paler as the blood drained. Then, he seemed to realize what Yuuri was silently saying. His eyes widened. “Yuuri,” he whispered. “You…?”

Yuuri was the silhouette appear behind Minami too late.

With a scream, Minami was run through with a sword. He looked down at the blade coming out his chest disbelievingly. He coughed, blood spewing from his lips, and looked back up at Yuuri hopelessly. “Yuuri…” he mumbled before his eyes closed and his body slumped. Yuri retracted the sword from Minami with a cold expression before kicking the body aside. He looked at Yuri with an icy hatred Yuuri had never seen before.

“Let’s end this, _pig_ ,” Yuri spat.

Yuri charged with the sword, and as he had during the feast, Yuuri blocked it with his pickaxe. Yuuri pushed back against Yuri, rising to his feet, and Yuri released the pressure to jump back. Yuuri stared at Yuri wide eyed for a second as the blond eyed him. Then, Yuri looked to Minami’s bleeding body, and he charged. He swung the pickaxe repeatedly, but Yuri skillfully dodged it each time. He twisted around, getting behind Yuuri and putting him in a chokehold. He pushed Yuuri down, and the pickaxe clattered from his hands. Yuuri screamed as his flesh was burned by the searing hot Cornucopia. Yuri laughed.

“Does it hurt, pig? It hurt Lilia, too, when you impaled her skull!” Yuri placed a foot down on Yuuri’s head just like he had during their fight in training and ground it into the metal, and Yuuri screamed again. “You make me sick. You pretend to be this goody two shoes _savior_ or whatever bullshit you convince yourself of, but you’re no better than me. You’re a sick, twisted _coward_. You killed her. You _murdered_ her!” Yuri was screaming now. “And you dare to pretend like I’m the fucked up one?”

Yuuri twisted around, grabbing Yuri’s ankle and yanking. The teen shouted as he was thrown down, and Yuuri scrambled for his pickaxe. He grabbed it just in time to block another blow form Yuri’s sword, and Yuri began to twist the blade. Yuuri realized what was happening this time, though, as Yuri attempted to disarm Yuuri with the same trick again. Yuuri pulled back instead, making Yuri stumble with the force he’d had behind it. Yuuri swung, using the butt of the pickaxe to bash the side of Yuri’s head. Like Lilia had, Yuri doubled over, but unlike her, he reacted fast, rolling aside as Yuuri tried to bury his pickaxe into his skull. It was Yuuri who stumbled into the force of his swing this time, and Yuri took the opportunity to throw his body into Yuuri’s, sending the older tribute sprawling on the ground, his pickaxe once again clattering beside him. He tried to reach for it, but he saw Yuri charging him again. With nothing else to defend himself with, Yuuri grabbed his backpack and held it out in front of him. Yuri slashed it out of Yuuri’s hands with one swipe, and the bag toppled into the lava below. When Yuri swung again, Yuuri could only hold out his arms.

Yuuri didn’t register it at first. He felt the pain at his left wrist, but he didn’t understand why. His eyes trailed down his arm, and he saw the blood. Then he saw where the arm ended in a stump, and he realized his hand was gone.

Yuuri screamed, rolling to the side with his handless arm clutched to his chest. His hand! Yuri had cut off his hand! Yuuri looked up in terror and saw the teen rushing toward him again. While Yuuri could reach his pickaxe now, he couldn’t block the force of one of Yuri’s swings with one arm. Yuuri froze as the likelihood of his impending death hit him. He didn’t… _He didn’t want to die!_ In a moment of pure adrenaline, Yuuri quickly had an idea and reached into his pocket. He held his arm back and pretended to throw a knife at Yuri. Yuri dodged, and Yuuri snatched his pickaxe off the Cornucopia. He charged Yuri, and Yuri held up his sword to block it. He was off guard, thoguh. Yuuri twisted the pickaxe similarly to how Yuri had twisted his sword before and wrenched the blade from Yuri’s hands, sending it clattering down the side of the Cornucopia into the lava.

For a moment, Yuri and Yuuri were at a standstill. Yuri looked at where the sword had disappeared with wide eyes, and Yuuri adjusted his grip on the pickaxe. Yuri looked up at Yuuri, mouth agape. Yuuri was prepared. He waited for Yuri to pull out another knife, to come up with some kind of weapon and charge Yuri. What he didn’t expect was for Yuri to drop to his knees.

Yuuri stared in astonishment at the teen. Yuri sneered. “What?” Yuuri said nothing, still not comprehending why Yuri was suddenly… giving up? Yes, that was it. Yuri was giving up. Why? Why would this teen, so driven by ego and pride, drop to his knees now? “Stop gaping like a fish,” Yuri snapped. “Just get it over with. Kill me. Kill me like you did Lilia.”

Yuuri just continued to stare, though. “Why?” he asked.

Yuri sneered. “Oh, don’t play dumb, pig! You’ve disarmed me. I don’t have a weapon that can match against your pickaxe, even if you are down a hand.” He looked smug as he stated that fact. “I’m not going to die fighting for my life like a _coward_. If I die, I die on my own terms.” The look in those green eyes was fiery.

Yuuri still didn’t understand, though. “But… don’t you want to live?” he asked. “You came in here to win, didn’t you? That’s why you volunteered, to… to prove a point.”

Yuri glared at him. “Don’t pretend you know me, pig,” he spat. “I came here because everyone told me I _couldn’t_. Couldn’t survive, couldn’t win. I was told I would always be too weak because of my stature, even when I topped my classes. They told me I was too young. They told me I could never be a victor because I’m too _weak_. They laughed at me. Everyone did back home.” Yuri curled his lip. “I don’t even particularly want to go back there, even as a victor. I have nothing there. My grandfather died two months ago. He was all there was for me back there. So…” Yuri sneered. “Just do it. Kill me. End my suffering. Kill me and go home to tell your family and friends that you’re a murderer. Tell them how you killed me because I taunted you and you couldn’t handle it. Tell them how your innocent façade is all a lie. _Tell them what a coward you are._ ”

Yuuri stared at Yuri with wide eyes. Yuri’s words stabbed into Yuuri like knifes, and he felt sick. _Murderer_. He heard the taunts. He imagined everyone back home, whispering about him with scared glances. He imagined kids seeing him and scampering away in fear. He imagined his mother, his father, and Mari quietly welcoming him home, the weight of what he’d done hanging over his family forever. He imagined Yuuko, looking into his eyes like she didn’t recognize him. All these images flashed through Yuuri’s mind in an instant. Then he remembered the locket, and it finally dawned on him why it had been sent. _His humanity._ He had lost Axel, but until he;d decided to murder the Careers in cold blood, he hadn’t lost his humanity. The locket was supposed to remind him of that, to help him to remain himself as he made his way back to his family. Viktor must have been the one to have it put in that bag. As soon as he’d seen the way Yuuri had mutilated JJ’s body, he must have realized what was happening to Yuuri. The locket was a reminder of who Yuuri was and what he was living for.

It hadn’t worked, though. Yuuri had lost himself. He had killed JJ brutally and then hunted down Lilia of his own accord. _To avenge Axel?_ Axel never would have wanted this! She was a bright, cheery little girl; she never would have wanted Yuuri to become this. Yuuri had lost his humanity. He was a _monster._

Yuuri breathed heavily, his head muddled. He had killed. He had killed again and again. He looked at Yuri. He was so small. His stature had always been lithe and petite despite the toned muscle, and his face was young. Yuri was so _young_ , Yuuri realized. He was only fifteen, and yet he was here, in the games. He was just a _kid_. Yuuri was about to murder a child! Yuuri was going to…

Then Yuuri stopped. No… No, this… it wasn’t right. Maybe the Careers were willing to murder children, but Yuuri _wasn’t_.

Yuuri dropped the pickaxe, taking a few steps back and shaking his head. “No,” he whispered then repeated it again louder. “ _No!_ I won’t do it! I—I won’t do it again! I… I killed people. I did. I killed JJ and Lilia, and Phichit and Chris, they died because of me, too. I’m a murderer,” Yuuri said. “But Chris… he told me our actions determine our character. Maybe I’m already too far gone. Maybe I’m a monster, but I don’t have to continue to live up to that.” Yuuri dropped the pickaxe with a loud clatter and stared Yuri in the eyes fiercely. “I won’t kill you.”

It happened so fast. Yuuri only saw Yuri smirk. He had no time to react as the teen pulled out a knife and lunged at him. Yuuri could only stare with wide eyes, unable to move as it all seemed to turn into slow motion. Yuri had the knife raised, ready to kill Yuuri. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Minami appeared, throwing his body into Yuri’s. Yuri stumbled, losing his footing. He fell, clawing at the metal as he slid down the side of the Cornucopia and into the lava with a loud scream. Yuuri could only watch in horror. The screams loudened for a few seconds as Yuri’s skin blistered and melted off in chunks, but then they went quiet, Yuri’s body sinking into the molten lava, his hand reached out for help before he disappeared altogether. Yuuri could only stare for a moment, mouth agape. The blood was visible before it burned away, too, and Yuuri was disbelieving until the cannon boomed. Yuri Plisetsky was dead.

Yuuri looked away and turned to Minami, who heaved weakly, one hand holding the stab wound through his chest. The teen quickly crumpled, though, and Yuuri scrambled over to him. “Minami!” Yuuri shouted. “Minami, are you…” Then Yuuri saw how pale Minami was and knew the answer to his question before he even spoke it. Minami was not going to make it. Yuuri gathered Minami’s head, holding it in his lap and brushing his bangs out of his sweat-shiny face. The red streak from the interviews was still there. “Minami,” Yuuri whispered, tears welling up in his eyes.

Minami smiled up at Yuuri, though. “Yuuri,” he murmured weakly. “It’s okay. I was never going to live, anyway. I knew that.”

Yuuri choked back a sob. “Why?” Yuuri asked, but he didn’t know what he was asking. Why what? Why had this happened? This kind of unspeakable tragedy was the kind of think only the Hunger Games could produce.

Minami reached a hand up, touching Yuuri’s face. “Don’t cry,” he whispered. “It’ll be okay.” He closed his eyes and smiled. “I’m glad it was you who survived,” he said confidently.

“ _Why?_ ” Yuuri asked again, this time asking why Minami still had faith in him despite everything. “Why did you want it to be me? I’m a murderer! I killed JJ and Lilia! It wasn’t an accident or self-defense; I _murdered_ them! I’m a monster!”

Minami shook his head. “No, Yuuri.” He coughed, more blood staining his lips. “You may have lost your way, but you did all of this for the girl. You did all of it to save her. You never had to come here, and yet you did, for her. That’s so incredibly brave.” Minami smiled. “You subjected yourself to this out of kindness. You’re amazing, Yuuri.” Minami’s eyes shut again, and the smiled fell from his lips. His hand fell, and his chest stopped moving.

Yuuri sobbed. “Minami!” he wailed. The cannon boomed.

Everything was a haze. Yuuri barely registered the trumpets announcing Yuuri as the winner of the 125th annual Hunger Games.

The hovercraft gathered Yuuri, but after that, everything went black. Yuuri woke up for short intervals with needles in his arms and doctors bustling about above him, but he’d fade back into unconsciousness before he could register what was going on. Everything was numb. Somewhere in his stupor, he had a dream about Axel. They gathered dandelions in the meadow by his house together. Yuuri made her a crown of them, and she laughed as he deemed her a princess. Then, she ran away, shouting for Yuuri to catch her. Yuuri ran after her, but somehow, she was much faster than him. He reached out for her as she grew further and further away, shouting back at him to hurry up. Eventually, she disappeared altogether.

When Yuuri finally woke up, he was in a hospital bed. Several needles were in his arm, and Yuuri was too weak to sit up. He could barely move at all, struggling just to wiggle his toes and fingers. He couldn’t feel his left hand. He looked down to find a stump with stitches where it had once been and remember that he didn’t have a hand anymore.

Yuuri looked to his right and found blue eyes staring piercingly into his own. “Viktor,” he just barely whispered. The man sat in a chair by his hospital bed. He was silent, though, simply staring at Yuuri. Yuuri had so much he wanted to explain to Viktor, but his mind drew a blank when he tried to formulate the words. His vision went dark at the edges again, and soon, Yuuri was once more unconscious.

The next time Yuuri woke up, the needles were gone, and he was a little bit stronger. He started to sit up, but a familiar voice said, “Careful! You’re still weak, you know.” Yuuri turned his head to find Celestino in the chair by his bed this time instead of Viktor. Something about that made his stomach drop.

“Celestino?” Yuuri said, looking around slowly. He was in a hospital room surrounded by machines and a table of instruments he didn’t recognize. “Where am I?” he asked.

“Why, you’re in the Capitol!” Celestino boomed cheerily. “You did it, Yuuri! You won the games! Oh, I’m so proud of you! The prep team didn’t think you’d make it, but Minako and I, we said—“

Celestino started to ramble, but Yuuri tuned him out. He looked down at himself slowly. He wasn’t in any pain, and his eyes carefully raked over his own flesh. The scars were gone. Both those from the games and those he’d accumulated from years in the mine, all of his scars were gone. Yuuri’s skin seemed as untouched as a newborn baby’s. The stitches from his stump of a wrist were gone, too. Celestino seemed to notice Yuuri staring at it and chimed in, “Oh! The doctor’s made you a new hand, Yuuri! I’ll let them know you’re awake so they can come attach it.”

Before Celestino could go, though, Yuuri asked, “Where’s Viktor?”

Celestino paused. “Oh, him? He’s talking with the doctors. He wanted to make sure you got the best prosthetic hand the Capitol has to offer.” Celestino smiled knowingly. “He’s barely left your side since you arrived. I had to bring him food and wake him up sometimes. You really worked your charm on him, didn’t you, Yuuri?” With that, Celestino left.

Yuuri was confused. Viktor hadn’t left his side? Then why… why had Viktor looked at Yuuri like _that_ when he’d woken up the first time? Yuuri’s stomach was in knots as he laid back down. He looked to his remaining hand, and to his surprise, the golden ring still sat on his finger. It was tarnished and dirty, having endured a lot during the games, but it was still there. Yuuri shewed the inside of his cheek. Why? Why wouldn’t Viktor have asked the doctors to remove it and throw it away? After all, it had to have been Viktor to send the locket during the games. Viktor had been the one warning Yuuri not to stray from his morals, and yet Yuuri had become the monster Yuri had described. Viktor would surely want nothing to do with Yuuri after that.

Eventually, Celestino came back with a few doctors bearing a high-tech prosthetic hand. Viktor wasn’t with them, though. The doctors explained how the hand worked to Yuuri, something about electrodes and nerve signals, but Yuuri wasn’t listening. All he could think of was Viktor. Viktor, who Yuuri might never see again or who might come see Yuuri one last time to tell him what a disgusting excuse for a human being he was. Yuuri wasn’t sure what was worse.

The doctors helped Yuuri attach the hand, showing him how to properly put it on before telling him to try moving his fingers. Yuuri looked at the fake hand and tried. Sure enough, the fingers moved at Yuuri’s will. It was truly impressive how technologically advanced the Capitol was. After that, Yuuri was brought food and water, and he picked at it. It was rich Capitol food, and Yuuri was overwhelmed by the taste of it after living off of the forest in the arena. He tried to nibble on the hearty meal, but he soon found himself feeling nauseous and pushed it away in favor of the glass of water he’d been brought with it. That was much better. Celestino kept rambling on and on to Yuuri about the games, describing exactly where he was and what he was doing at different key points. When he got to the part about Axel, though, Celestino grew quiet. He looked at Yuuri with a sincerity he didn’t expect. “I’m sorry, Yuuri,” the Capitol escort said. “She didn’t deserve it. You did your best.”

Yuuri felt like crying again, so he turned over in bed and shut his eyes.

The next time Yuuri woke, it was to doctors ushering him out of bed, telling him it was time to go. Where he was going, Yuuri didn’t know, but he was quickly stripped of his hospital gown and dressed before being lead to a car outside the unfamiliar building. Yuuri looked out the window at the strange Capitol citizens, but they hardly struck him and strange anymore. He’d seen much stranger things than people in funny wigs.

To his surprise, Yuuri found himself brought back to the Tribute center. Celestino escorted him to the elevator, and he was soon facing the weirdly familiar living area of the penthouse. Yuuri felt cold and numb as he slowly walked in, brushing his real hand over the furniture. It all seemed so surreal. The last time he had been here, it had been before the games, and it had been with Axel. Now she was gone, but Yuuri was still here. Those things didn’t seem to make sense. Yuuri was sat down to dinner with Celestino, and once again, he picked at his food, but now not even water appealed to him. He retired to bed early, walking down the dark hallway feeling like a ghost. He almost went to the room he had slept in with Axel, but he hesitated before instead walking to the other room they’d been provided. He curled up beneath the sheets in the unfamiliar room and stared at the wall. So much seemed to make no sense now.

Axel was gone. Yuuri still couldn’t make sense of that. He’d likely never see Viktor again, either, and his heart panged for those losses. He didn’t cry, though, instead writing a list in his mind of everyone else he’d never see again. There was Yuuko, who surely would make one last visit to slap him across the face before telling him to never bother her or her family again. There was Phichit and Chris, who had died in the games. Minami, too. Minami was gone. So many people who Yuuri loved, just… gone. Yuuri still didn’t cry, his body too numb to conjure the tears.

He’d never felt so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it. The games are over, and Yuuri won. I'm sure we all knew that he would from the beginning, given it's from his point of view, but I hope I was able to get y'alls blood pumping anyway. The fic isn't quite over yet, though - I think there will be another two or so chapters to wrap it all up.
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for reading! Your comments and art and love have been incredible, and you've all kept me going. Please let me know what you think of this hell of a chapter, and I'll be back with another soon! <3


	19. The Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri deals with the consequences of being a victor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare your hearts, folks. This one gets emotional.

“Come on, Yuuri!” Axel shouted, dragging Yuuri by the hand. “There’s a dog by the lake! I named him Vicchan! Come on, he’s hurt! We can save him!” Yuuri ran with Axel, but when they got to the lake, the dog wasn’t moving. Axel ran it its side, shaking the pup. “Vicchan?” she cried, shaking him again. “Vicchan, wake up!”

Then JJ was there, running straight at Axel with a pickaxe. He raised it over his head, and Yuuri screamed but was unable to move as he buried the pickaxe into Axel. The little girl fell to the ground in a pool of blood that grew bigger and bigger with each passing moment. Soon, it sloshed at Yuuri’s ankles, and JJ stood across from Yuuri with a sadistic grin.

“It’s all your fault, Yuuri,” he said, but it wasn’t his voice. Slowly, JJ’s face morphed into Yuri Plisetsky’s, and the teen laughed. “You killed them! You killed them all!” The laughter boomed and echoes all around, and Yuuri covered his ears at the loudness of it. Then Yuri’s grin dropped to a fearful expression. “You killed _me_.” Suddenly, the blood on the ground was lava. Yuri’s face started to melt, the skin peeling off, then the muscle, and finally the skeleton melting. Yuri dropped to the ground in a pool of blood.

Yuuri screamed, the lava beginning to burn his legs where he stood in it. Slowly, he melted, too, the lava taking him from the bottom up. Yuuri cried for help, reaching out with his handless arm as he sunk into the lava and disappeared.

Yuuri awoke screaming. He felt his body with his hands, making sure all the pieces except his left hand were still there. He looked around in terror, expecting to see JJ or Yuri or Axel’s bloody body, but they were all gone. They were dead now. Yuuri cried as he curled in on himself, rocking back and forth. The words rang in his head: _You killed them._ Yuri and JJ and Lilia, and Axel, Chris, and Phichit, too. He killed them all.

Yuuri didn’t know how long he sat there in the dark, but eventually, the door burst open. Yuuri jumped with a shriek and curled up, expecting to be attacked. However, whoever it was paused before a woman’s voice said, “Ah… I’m sorry, Yuuri. I forgot you— I didn’t mean to scare you.” Yuuri looked up to find the apologetic face of Minako staring down at him in pity. Yuuri felt small.

“Minako?” he whispered, slowly untangling himself. She smiled before carefully approaching Yuuri and wrapping him in a hug. Yuuri couldn’t stop the tears. “Minako. I…” He sniffed.

“I know, Yuuri,” she comforted him. “I know.”

As it turned out, Minako was there to dress Yuuri for the recap. Yuuri paled as he remembered what the meant. Every year, the surviving tribute was sat down on television to watch a recap of the games, showing every death as well as telling the story of the tribute’s victory. Victory… That’s right, Yuuri was a victor now. Victor… The name felt wrong. He felt more like a victim. Minako looked pityingly upon Yuuri, who was pale and shaking as he realized he’d have to experience the games in their entirety again. This felt like a sick joke. The Capitol was cruel.

“This time,” Minako explained, “I didn’t aim for Eros. I wanted to convey something more akin to strength. Your outfit, this time is red. And before you go cooking up some story in your head about it being the color of blood, stop that right now. The red is meant to symbolize your courage. You survived those horrible games, Yuuri. You are strong.” Yuuri didn’t feel strong, especially when the prep team came in and groomed him. They complimented how soft his skin was now, and Yuuri felt sick. The Capitol had erased the scars from his skin, and yet they were rehashing the much deeper scars of the games today. It felt incredibly ironic.

Yuuri didn’t fight or protest as he was plucked and waxed. He didn’t question the serums or strange smelling soaps or any of it. He didn’t care. He felt hollow, like a husk of his former self. He was just that, wasn’t he? A husk. Just a body with no soul. He’d lost his soul to the games. Yuuri’s hair was slicked back and contacts put into his eyes. He looked at himself and saw an unfamiliar face. He wasn’t himself, not anymore. He wasn’t Yuuri. He was whatever creature the Capitol had designed him to be. He was a mutt.

Minako came in again with the suit. It was a brilliant red with black lapels and diamonds. However, instead of being placed suggestively, the diamonds fractured in a circle around his heart. He stared at it, and Minako frowned. “Don’t go thinking the diamonds are supposed to be about your heart breaking, either. They’re pointing to your heart because that’s the strongest part of you, Yuuri,” she explained in a chiding tone. Yuuri was dressed, and he looked at himself in the mirror. He looked powerful. The red was a bold color, and the diamonds seemed to accomplish what Minako had described. However, Yuuri didn’t feel it. He felt broken. Nothing about the costume seemed right on the pale, trembling man that wore it. Strangely, Yuuri’s face was barely touched by makeup, and Minako chimed in again, “We wanted to leave your face untouched this time. You’re the one that survived the games, not whatever image the Captiol has made out of you. I wanted to convey that.” Yuuri felt numb as he stared himself in the eyes. They were dark brown and hollow, and while the little makeup he wore concealed the bags under his eyes, he still felt them there, heavy and dark. Everything about him was heavy and dark.

Yuuri was escorted to a car that took him to the building where the interviews had taken place. A person Yuuri assumed was the director told him to wait offstage until Antony Brute called him on. Yuuri barely heard the instructions but followed them anyway. He tried to steel his nerves, but they were an endlessly tangled knot in the pit of his stomach. The show started, and Antony gave an impassioned speech about the games and the tragedies, but he described them more like triumphs. He began to tell the story of a little girl from Twelve and the brave man who had volunteered to protect her, introducing Yuuri as a the courageous victor, and then Yuuri was called on stage. He didn’t move for a second until someone gently shoved him forward. He robotically walked to the couch across from Antony, sitting stiffly. Antony grinned, asking to shake Yuuri’s hand. “Ah, the one you still have, that is,” Antony joked, and the audience went into an uproar of laughter. Yuuri didn’t find it very funny, but he shook Antony’s hand anyway.

“So, Yuuri,” Antony began, “it was hardly touched on before the games started, but you volunteered to protect the little girl, Axel, didn’t you?”

Yuuri’s voice was hoarse, but he managed to choke out, “Yes.”

Antony clutched a hand to his heart, making a show of wiping a tear. “It was tragic, what happened to her. You were so brave, protecting her until the end. After that, your survival instincts and courage helped you defeat your opponents and win the games. You’re one of the bravest victors we’ve ever seen, in my opinion!” Yuuri’s stomach twisted at the way Antony described his murdering the other tributes. Brave? Courageous? It had all been far from it. It was cowardice. “But Yuuri,” Antony continued, “We aren’t satisfied by just that. No, we all want to see your story from start to finish, to see you rise from protector to victor. Luckily, the Capitol had prepared a special film in your honor! Let’s watch!” Antony turned to a screen that had been lowered behind them, and Yuuri slowly turned to look at it as well, ice prickling through his veins.

The film started with Yuuri, looking calculating as he searched for Axel on the platforms before the games. After that, it honed in on him making a run for Axel, pulling that knife out of a tribute’s head to cut the backpack free before scooping up the little girl and running off. Yuri was focused on next, chasing after Yuuri into the woods. The editing was excellent, portraying the intensity of the moment when Yuri almost caught Yuuri before being called away. Yuuri’s relief was apparent across his face as he was able to escape with Axel.

After that, the bloodbath was shown in cutting shots of each death. Yuuri felt a pang as the other little girl and the old woman were ruthlessly slaughtered by the Careers, and Yuuri felt a lump in his throat as Sara was taken down by a knife just as she entered the tree line. It was a bloody, brutal affair, and it ended with shots of the corpses of the Bloodbath’s victims. Once the Bloodbath was over, Yuuri and Axel were the focus again, Yuuri being shown tending to his shoulder wound as well as Axel in an almost heartwarming portrayal of his love for her. Briefly, Seung-Gil’s death by the wolves was shown, but the feed immediately went back to Yuuri and Axel. A few shots were shown of Yuuri’s ice fishing, but the film quickly jumped ahead to the boy from Nine being killed by the Career’s followed by Yuuri and Phichit finding each other. Yuuri almost choked as he saw the face of his dear friend again. It was painful, seeing his and Phichit’s friendship on screen. It almost brought life back to the boy from Eleven for just a moment, and Yuuri had to remind himself with a pang what was coming.

The altercation between the allies and the Careers was dramatic. From the suspenseful moment when Yuuri was found by Yuri to Isabella’s death to the avalanche starting to rain down, it was all edited like an action sequence. Mila’s death by the rocks and rubble was shown before another intense scene that Yuuri had been dreading came on screen. Yuuri had to hold back tears as Phichit said his last words before falling into the Avalanche, and Yuuri was shown screaming on screen. It took all of Yuuri’s power not to simply look away.

The blizzard was only covered briefly, as watching tributes freeze to death was rather boring for the Capitol audience. Yuuri’s struggle to find firewood was covered as well as the death of the girl from Five to the elements, but the film quickly cut to the next day. Yuuri’s fight with the beaver mutations was shown, and then the death of the girl from Six to JJ. After that, Yuuri began to tremble as Christophe came on screen, meeting up and allying himself with Yuuri. As was the fashion of this film, their friendship was built theatrically, starting with Yuuri’s initial distrust and turning into the comradery they had at the end. Yuuri once again knew what was coming, though, and the editors didn’t spare Yuuri of the brutality of the wolf attack at all. Christophe’s death was shown in all its violence, and this time, Yuuri did have to close his eyes until it was over.

After that, though, the film turned into a different narrative. While up to that point, Yuuri was portrayed as an innocent protector, the editing turned it into a descent into madness. Yuuri’s crying and rocking was shown as well as Axel’s comfort, and after that, the next scene was the rain. Yuuri could only watch the fight with JJ hashed out in detail. Axel was shown running into the woods, and Yuuri was shown running the wrong way to find her. The camera alternated between them dramatically until Axel ran into JJ. Yuuri’s jaw dropped as he watched JJ bury the pickaxe into Axel, and then Yuuri was shown bounding into the scene. The fight was once again displayed in detail, right up to the point when Yuuri killed JJ. It didn’t stop there, though—Yuuri had to watch himself impale JJ with the pickaxe over and over, a crazed look in his eyes as he brutally mutilated the Career. Yuuri looked down at the ground. He had truly lost it.

Yuuri’s madness in the Arena was only developed from there. His desperate attempts to save Axel were put on screen, and then the feed cut to the feast. The boy from Ten died, and the fight there was portrayed dramatically as well. After that, though, Yuuri saw what he had never wanted to see. The camera cut to Axel, waking up in a stupor. Her wound was inflamed with puss again, and she was all alone. “Yuuri?” she weakly called out, but he wasn’t there. “Yuuri, it hurts.” Tears streamed down the girl’s face. “Yuuri? Where are you?” She looked around, and the tears came faster. Yuuri realized then that said tears were not only Axel’s on screen; he was crying, too. “Mommy,” Axel cried. “Mommy, Daddy! Lutz! Loop! It hurts!” Axel continued to cry on screen until her sobs grew weaker. “Yuuri,” she whispered one last time, “Where are you?” Then, her eyes fell shut, and she was gone.

Yuuri couldn’t contain his trembling. The feed cut to Yuri’s and Otabek’s long, drawn out fight, but Yuuri didn’t care. His tears splattered against his hands, real and prosthetic, and he felt himself breaking down. The rest of the film was a blur. Otabek died to Yuri’s sword, and the film went back to Yuuri. His grief over Axel was thick and palpable, and Yuuri felt it in real time. The tears were silently streaming down his face, and he didn’t care that he was on camera in front of the entire nation as he quietly sobbed. The rest of the film was a dramatic portrayal of a man’s descent into madness. Yuuri’s plan to kill Lilia as well as her murder were shown in detail, and then it was the finale. The finale was probably drawn out the most of the entire film, barely making any cuts as the volcano blew, and the remaining three tributes fought it out atop the Cornucopia. The camera honed in on Yuri melting in the lava after his defeat, and then the moments Yuuri shared with Minami were completely uncut. The trumpets sounded, and Yuuri was shown boarding the hovercraft in horrible victory. The film ended.

“Wow,” Antony gasped, looking out at the audience with an amazed expression. “That was something. I thought my heartstrings had been pulled the first time I watched it all, but that film brought all the emotions back even more intensely than before! Yuuri,” Antony turned his attention to the victor. “How do you feel?”

Yuuri stared at Antony dumbfoundedly, saying nothing. How could Antony ask him a question like that? Yuuri was beyond torn apart; he was broken. Yuuri continued to stare at Antony silently before finding himself lunging forward. Yuuri barely registered himself being forcefully pulled off of Antony by Capitol guards after landing a punch, and the audience screamed in horror as Yuuri was dragged off screen and locked in a room with a television still airing the broadcast. Antony composed himself quickly, and of all things, he laughed as he rubbed the bruise on his cheek. “Well, there you have it, folks!” he said cheerily, and the audience laughed in relief.

The feed cut off, and Yuuri was left in silence. He didn’t know what would happen next. Would he be punished for punching Antony? He didn’t know, and he didn’t care. Every death he’d just been shown flashed before his eyes before Yuuri’s mind settled on Axel’s last pitiful cries, and Yuuri broke into sobs again, curling up in a ball on the floor. He’d left her alone. She’d died alone, crying for him. He had left her alone. She died alone because of him. Because of him… Because of him… It was all his fault. He’d killed her. _Murderer, murderer, murderer,_ the whispers chanted in his head. _You’re a murderer._

Yuuri didn’t know how long he was left in that room. He didn’t think to even check if the door was locked. He didn’t care. Let the Capitol punish him. Maybe if he was lucky, they’d just kill him and put him out of his misery. After what must have been hours, though, the door opened, and Yuuri looked up. To his shock, Viktor stood there, looking at Yuuri with an unreadable expression. The two stared at each other for several moments. Then, Viktor walked to Yuuri, picking him up and carrying him out of the room. Yuuri stared at Viktor’s profile in disbelief. Why was Viktor here? Why was he doing this? Was he taking Yuuri to his execution himself? Yuuri was brought to a car, and Viktor sat beside Yuuri in silence. To Yuuri’s surprise, he was simply brought back to the Tribute center, and Yuuri was guided upstairs by Viktor. When they reached the penthouse, the door closed and they were alone. They took a seat at the dining table, where another feast was spread out, but neither ate. They simply stared at each other.

It took what seemed like an eternity for Viktor to finally speak the one word. “Yuuri,” he said in a deep voice with heavy implications around the simple name.

Yuuri immediately broke into tears. “Why?” he asked in a screaming wail. “Why are you here? Are you here to mock me? To tell me that I failed?” Yuuri shrieked. “Are you going to call me a monster? Are you going to tell me how I lost myself? Because I already _know!_ ” Yuuri dissolved into loud sobs, and Viktor jumped up, quickly making his way around the table and yanking Yuuri to his feet. However, instead of yelling at him or hitting him or anything that Yuuri expected, he pulled Yuuri into a bone-crushing hug. Yuuri could only cry harder, not understanding it. Why? Why was Viktor doing this? He didn’t understand! Yuuri was a monster! He was a mutt! He’s killed so many people, and for what? To come back to a family that would disown him, a community that would curse his name? Yuuri had no reason to be alive anymore! He should have just died in the games!

Yuuri was guided to Viktor’s room and lifted into the bed. He half expected Viktor to try something, but Viktor simply sat by his side, stroking his hair as he continued to sob. Eventually, Yuuri ran out of tears, and he looked up at Viktor in silence. Viktor’s eyes weren’t cold anymore. They were filled with… sadness. “Why?” Yuuri found himself asking once more. He didn’t specify what he was asking, but Viktor seemed to understand.

“Because I love you, Yuuri,” Viktor whispered. Yuuri stared at Viktor in silence for another unknown period of time before turning his back on Viktor. It was cruel of him to say something like that now. Yuuri curled in on himself again and forced himself to fall asleep.

This time, when Yuuri woke from the nightmare screaming, Viktor was there. He pulled Yuuri into another hug, holding him and rocking him back and forth as he stroked his hair. Yuuri didn’t understand. Why was Viktor doing this? Why was Viktor staying by his side? Didn’t he know what Yuuri was, what Yuuri had done? It made no sense! Viktor’s words echoed in Yuuri’s mind. _I love you. I love you._ Yuuri didn’t believe it. It had to be a trick, a cruel tactic to win Yuuri over before Viktor inevitably left him. That must have been it; Viktor was trying to break Yuuri’s heart again, to leave him with nothing but despair in revenge for the people Yuuri had killed. That was the only explanation.

Yuuri said nothing to Viktor in the coming morning. Viktor led him out to the dining area, coaxing him to eat a little bit. He held a glass of water to Yuuri’s lips and got him to drank, and Yuuri said nothing. He let Viktor take him to the bathroom, let the man strip him of his suit and wash the makeup and products from his skin. Yuuri still said nothing. He wouldn’t fall for another cruel trick.

Viktor never left Yuuri’s side after that. Yuuri was crowned victor by the president of the nation and boarded a train to be taken back home. He said nothing, not giving those bastards another word. Not the Capitol, not Viktor. They had all taken everything from him. They had taken his soul from him, leaving him nothing but a husk of his former self. Minako and Celestino bid Yuuri farewell as the train pulled into District 12, and Yuuri and Viktor sat in silence until Peacekeepers came to escort them off the train. Yuuri was televised one last time, standing before his district, but he couldn’t look at them. He couldn’t look at them because he knew at the very front, his family and the Nishigoris would be standing, watching him with incriminating stares. He stared at the ground and said nothing as he was announced victor by the mayor, and finally, the cameras left.

Viktor escorted Yuuri not home, but to Victors’ Village. He told Yuuri this is where he’d live now and that his family was packing up to move in the next day. He suggested Yuuri should choose the house with the evening primroses in the front yard, and Yuuri remained silent and allowed Viktor to lead him there. He was sat in an unfamiliar kitchen and fed before being led to an unfamiliar bedroom and tucked into an unfamiliar bed. Everything was unreal, and Yuuri still said nothing. Viktor stroked his hair and murmured something that Yuuri didn’t hear. He didn’t sleep, not for many hours and not until it had long grown dark outside. Viktor didn’t leave Yuuri’s side once, staring down at him with a once again unreadable expression. Yuuri stared back. Both were silent.

Yuuri woke up screaming from another nightmare, and Viktor rocked him again. The dark sky grew lighter as Yuuri sobbed into Viktor’s shoulder. Eventually, Viktor coaxed Yuuri out of bed, dressing him and leading him to the kitchen again. He fed Yuuri himself, spooning some meal Yuuri didn’t care to identify into his mouth and making him drink more water. Then, he sat Yuuri in the living room, and for the first time in days, Viktor left him. Yuuri felt satisfied, though. Viktor had left, just as Yuuri had expected. However, to Yuuri’s surprise, Viktor came back, and this time, he wasn’t alone. Yuuri stared up at the faces of his family in disbelief. His mom, dad, and sister were all there, all gaping at him as if they couldn’t believe he was real. Then, once again to Yuuri’s shock, they all ran to him, enveloping him in tight hugs. Yuuri’s mother cried, and even Mari’s eyes were shiny with tears. Yuuri’s eyes welled up with tears, too, and he choked out a sob. For the first time in days, Yuuri spoke a single word: “Why?”

His family held him tight, and his mother replied, “Because we love you.”

Yuuri was doted on by his family and Viktor alike. They held him, fed him, bathed him, and not once was Yuuri left alone again. Days passed like this until one day, there was a knock at the door. Mari answered it, and Yuur stared in horror as the remaining Nishigoris walked in. They stared at each other in silence. Yuuko was the first to approach Yuuri, hands gently cradling his face as if to make sure he was real. Then, Yuuri was enveloped in probably the tightest hug he’d ever experienced. “Yuuko,” Yuuri whispered before blinking out tears and hugging her back. “Yuuko!” He didn’t understand. He thought he’d never see her again! He thought, at most, she’d come to scream at him for murdering her daughter, but instead she was holding him tight. The two remaining triplets ran over and hugged his legs, crying with him, and Takeshi wrapped all four of them in his arms. Yuuri broke into loud sobs, crumpling to the floor, and the Nishigoris kneeled down with him. Yuuri choked out the words, “Why? Why are you here? I… I killed… I—“

Of all things, Yuuko lightly smacked him in the side of the head. “Shut up, Yuuri,” she commanded before wrapping him in her arms again.

Yuuri didn’t understand any of it. He… he was a murderer. He was responsible for Axel’s horrible, lonely death. So why? Why were they all here, holding him? Why did Yuuko refuse to let Yuuri say what he’d done? Why did none of them look at him like the monster he was? Then, his family’s words rang through his mind once more.

_Because we love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri is stupid. He doesn't understand that he is loved and forgiven, poor traumatized baby. He might never truly understand it.
> 
> I'll probably end up drawing Yuuri's suit from this chapter. Stay tuned for that.
> 
> We're reaching the end, folks! I've got one more chapter planned for this fic, and maybe, just maybe I'll write a short companion fic from Yuri's POV. I'm not sure about that one yet, so don't get your hopes up too high, but I have some ideas.
> 
> With that much said, this was an emotional chapter! There's still one last epilogue-like chapter to go, but this is almost the end. Thank you all so much for joining me on this journey. It's been an experience writing this incredibly tragic story, and your support has made it all incredibly worth it. Please let me know what you think, and thank you for reading! <3


	20. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the games haunts Yuuri, but he's not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are! The final chapter! It's been a long road, but y'alls support had made it endlessly worth it <3 Stay tuned, though! GioGioStar has said they're working on a prologue about Viktor, and I may write a oneshot from Yuri's POV. This ain't completely over!
> 
> Prepare your tissues and enjoy the epilogue.

The days after that passed in a fog. Yuuri’s family tended to him, making him eat and bathe. The Nishigoris visited often, slowly getting Yuuri to talk again. Viktor watched over Yuuri at night, rocking him back to sleep after every horrible nightmare. Yuuri still didn’t speak to Viktor. He didn’t believe Viktor’s proclamation of love, and he wouldn’t give Viktor the satisfaction of winning him over. Viktor didn’t seem to mind Yuuri’s muteness, though, and stayed by his side. He coaxed Yuuri to do things besides wallow in his misery. He got Yuuri to write in a journal, and in it, Yuuri described the horrors of the games. Each time he wrote, he’d begin hyperventilating again, and Viktor would sit with him and count to make him breathe slower until he calmed down. Despite the panic attacks, Yuuri found writing in the diary therapeutic. He continued to keep up with the habit.

Sometimes, Viktor got Yuuri to go outside. They wouldn’t do much more than walk around the perimeter of the house or sit in the shade of trees for a little while, but Yuuri enjoyed the fresh air. Yuuri didn’t leave Victors’ Village, though. He didn’t want to hear the whispers about him from the district. _Murderer_ , they would whisper. Yuuri didn’t need them to tell him that. He already thought that word about himself over and over every single day. One day, while sitting under the shade of a mulberry tree, Viktor confronted him about it. “You’re worried about the rumors,” Viktor said. Yuuri didn’t reply, still not talking to Viktor. Viktor sighed. “I understand, Yuuri. In fact, there’s probably no one in this world that understands it more than I do.” Viktor went quiet for a moment. “When I won the games all those years ago, I was a lot like you. Barely speaking, barely eating. Yakov had to get me to even sustain myself. I didn’t leave my house. I didn’t see anyone, not for months and months. My family didn’t want to see me, unlike yours. They were a lot less forgiving of my actions.” Viktor smiled wryly. “I know what you’re thinking, Yuuri. You’re a murderer, right? Those words must go through your head a thousand times a day. Maybe they’re true. They were true for me, too. I killed during the games. I had to, and so did you. It’s part of the horrors. It’s probably the worst part, but hardly anyone wins the games without killing. I remember when I came back, and those words chanted in my head. ‘Murderer, murderer.’ I called myself that every day, and after a few months of not seeing anyone, I finally left Victors’ Village to find everyone else calling me that, too. ‘Murderer.’”

Viktor took a deep breath. “I didn’t leave the house often after that. I didn’t want to hear the hushed voices talking about me. I didn’t want to see the disgusted and accusatory stares in my direction. Eventually, my reluctance to explain myself became new rumors. I was said to be cold and ruthless, selfish and unwilling to share my wealth. I didn’t see a point. I barely left my bed. I called myself that word over and over every day: ‘Murderer.’ I grew horribly withdrawn with no one but Yakov to forgive me. I certainly didn’t forgive myself. Years passed, and it got easier, but not much. I started going outside again, and the rumors stopped feeling like knives to the chest. I cut off my hair and exercised to entertain myself. Yakov eventually passed, and I was left alone. I mourned his death, but I didn’t care about my solitude. I was used to it. No one forgave me after that. Nobody ever looked at me as anything other than a monster again. Nobody wanted anything to do with the cold-hearted victor, so I didn’t want anything to do with them, either. I lived. I ate, I drank. I started drinking alcohol, and I lived a lot of my days drunk. I didn’t care. I became a mentor, and I didn’t care about the tributes who trembled in fear of me. I never tried to help them because each year, they died. I didn’t dare attach myself to people who would only abandon me the way my family and friends did. There was no point.

“But,” Viktor continued, “Then you volunteered. Years of solitude, and then you came into my life. You were scared of me, and at first, I thought you were no different than anyone else. You piqued my interest by volunteering, but that was it. I had no interest in helping a man who would die protecting a child, so I left you to your devices. That is, until you decided to confront me. I can’t explain it. I never had anyone stand up to me, not in all those years. If they hated me, they hated me from afar, but you, you showed me your anger with a ferocity I’d never seen. You yelled in my face, you challenged me, and I felt annoyed. I couldn’t explain why, but I had to prove myself to you. I had to prove that I wasn’t as useless as you seemed to think I was. You were still scared of me, but you didn’t let that stop you from challenging me, pushing me to try harder and harder to keep you alive. I knew from the start that Axel would never make it, but for a second, I thought that just maybe, you might. That was when I started to fall in love with you. The second I thought I might have a chance to keep you, I clung to it. So I tried my best to keep you both alive. I pulled strings where I could, and I talked sweet to every sponsor that would listen. When I thought you were going to die after the wolves attacked, I spent all night and day coaxing sponsors into paying for that medicine. I had to do a few favors, but I did it, and I did it for you. I tried my best to protect both of you. However, I knew it was only a matter of time. When Axel died, it was heart-wrenching, but I knew it would happen.”

Viktor paused. “Yuuri,” he murmured, “I know you blame yourself, but it wasn’t your fault. You did everything you could, even throwing yourself into almost certain death at the feast to keep her alive. It wasn’t your fault that it was too late. If anything, it was mine. If I hadn’t exhausted our resources to save you, maybe I could have sent her the medicine instead. I know that’s pointless thinking, though. If I had let you die, she never would have made it on her own. One way or another, she would have died anyway. I had to keep you alive for you both. As much as I hate myself for it, there was nothing I could do when JJ attacked her, and there was nothing you could do, either. It was out of your control, Yuuri, and I know. I know you don’t believe that anyone has forgiven you, and maybe that’s true of the rest of the district, but who cares about them? Your family, both the Katsukis and the Nishigoris, they’ve all forgiven you, and so have I. I know you lost your way during the games, but when horrific things like that happen, sometimes you lose control. I tried to help you by sending you that locket, but it was too late. I know you’ll never truly forgive yourself, but I ask you to try. You aren’t the lost cause you think you are. You may have lost your mind, but you never lost your heart. That much was apparent when you refused to kill Yuri Plisetsky at the end. Despite everything, you remained _you_. And I know you don’t believe this either, but I love _you_. I love everything about you. Your strength, your courage, your good heart—I love it all. You may not believe me, and I don’t fault you for that. You need time. Once again, though, I ask you to try. I ask you to try and accept that you’re forgiven and loved.” Viktor stood up, offering a hand to Yuuri. “Until then, I will stay by your side. We all will.”

Yuuri said nothing, but after several moments of hesitation, he took Viktor’s hand and let him pull him to his feet.

The days both flew and crawled by. Some days were almost okay. Yuuri laughed with his family and friends. He let them coax him into playing games and dancing with them again. On those days, he almost believed Viktor’s words. He almost believed that he was in fact forgiven. Other days were bad, though. Some days, Yuuri never left his bed. Some days, the nightmares plagued him so bad, he couldn’t even bring himself to write them in his diary. On those days, he chanted the words out loud: “Murderer, murderer, murderer.” On those days, though, Viktor was especially attentive to him. Viktor fed him and bathed him and sang him to sleep. Viktor held him and whispered comforting words, and every night, Viktor told Yuuri he loved him.

One night, as Viktor whispered his love while dozing off, Yuuri started to believe it.

It took a long time before Yuuri dared to leave Victors’ Village again. The whispers about him were terrible. He received stares of disgust and hatred, and Yuuri recoiled in on himself so badly that Viktor had to carry him home. Viktor didn’t let Yuuri give up, though; he brought him out again and again on the days that Yuuri could stand it, and eventually, Yuuri stopped caring what the district said. Yuuri didn’t need those strangers to forgive him. The people who mattered already had, and it was then that Yuuri realized that he finally believed that he was forgiven by his family.

He hadn’t forgiven himself yet. That would take a long time, but Yuuri was no longer bothered by what others thought of him. For the first time in his life, scrutiny didn’t get to him, and Viktor seemed to realize that, holding Yuuri’s hand tightly. Neither of them said anything, but Viktor wore a content smile.

It was months before Yuuri spoke to Viktor. At first, he’d been mute out of spite, but eventually, it just became a habit. He no longer doubted Viktor’s love for him. Viktor had proven a thousand times over that he truly cared for Yuuri, and Yuuri grew to accept that. His anxiety returned in the form of fearing talking to Viktor. He didn’t know what to say. Viktor was patient with him, though, and didn’t try to force speech out of him, which Yuuri was endlessly grateful for. He needed time.

It was one night after Yuuri woke from a nightmare. As always, Viktor rocked him in his arms and whispered those same words of comfort. Over time, Viktor had become the source of comfort himself, and Yuuri had started hugging Viktor back. Tonight, though, as Viktor began to sing an old lullaby to Yuuri, Yuuri stared at Viktor, searching his eyes. He saw nothing but love there, and Yuuri felt a moment of courage. When Viktor finished his song, Yuuri whispered the words. “That was beautiful,” he said in a hushed tone. “Thank you.” Yuuri had never seen such joy in someone’s eyes as he did in Viktor’s then. The man clutched him tightly and didn’t let go for the rest of the night.

It took Yuuri more time to grow comfortable talking to Viktor. It started as short words, little utterances of “Thank you” when Viktor helped him to eat and bathe and tucked him into bed. Eventually, he said more, though, pointing out how nice the birdsong sounded in the morning and how beautiful the colors of autumn were. He grew to talk to Viktor every day, having pleasant conversations with the other man. He started talking about his nightmares, and Viktor shared that he had them, too. The two began to cuddle each other to sleep each night, and Yuuri found safety in Viktor’s arms.

One night, as the two men gazed at each other, Yuuri broke the silence. At first, he couldn’t get the words out, but Viktor patiently waited on them. Finally, Yuuri said it. “I love you,” he whispered, and tears welled up in Viktor’s eyes.

“I love you, too,” he whispered back. For the first time since before the games, the two leaned in close and shared a kiss.

Winter came, and with it, the Victory Tour. Yuuri withdrew again as he was met with the familiar faces of Celestino and Minako. The horrors of the games came back full force as he was forced to board that train again, this time to visit each of the districts.

It was horrible. The first district was the worst as Yuuri had to face those who had known and loved Yuri and Lilia. Yuuri had been directly responsible for both of their deaths, and the hatred in the eyes of District 1 haunted Yuuri’s dreams. He barely slept on the train the night after he’d faced District 1. Each time he dozed off, he was quickly woken by nightmares of Yuri’s and Lilia’s deaths. He screamed himself awake over and over, each time cradled back to sleep by Viktor until he gave up on sleep altogether. Instead, he laid with Viktor, and they searched each other’s eyes.

“I know how you’re feeling right now,” Viktor eventually said, breaking the silence. “I felt the same way when facing the districts of the people I killed. It’s a horrible feeling, seeing the faces of people who genuinely hate you. The whispers of District 12 couldn’t possibly compare to that horrible loathing.” Viktor went quiet for a while. Eventually, he spoke up again. “You’re blaming yourself all over again. You’re remembering those moments and deaths so vividly, they haunt your nightmares. I know. I went through the same thing.” Viktor sighed. “It’s so frustrating how the Capitol forces you to relive it over and over again. Each year, you get interviewed again. Each year, you go back to the games as a mentor. Every time you think you’ve made progress in forgiving yourself, the Capitol barges in and sends you back to square one. It never stops. However,” Suddenly, Viktor smiled at Yuuri. “It won’t always get to you as bad as it does now. Someday, those nightmares will be less vivid. They won’t go away, but you’ll stop waking up screaming. Someday, you’ll remember the tragedies of the games with sadness, but you’ll still get out of bed. You’ll eat. You’ll go outside. You’ll live, and those memories will haunt you, but not the way they do now. They’ll become a ghost, and you’ll be able to live with them.”

Yuuri didn’t speak, but he did lean in and kiss Viktor. He still felt horrible, but he had grown to trust Viktor, and he believed him when he said it would get better. Yuuri trusted Viktor to guide him through every step of his grief. He trusted Viktor to stay by his side, and if he could have that, then maybe he’d be okay.

Those kisses grew more feverish, and Yuuri climbed onto Viktor’s lap. He grazed his hands across Viktor’s stomach, and Viktor caught them in his own. He searched Yuuri’s eyes desperately. “Are you sure?” he asked Yuuri. Yuuri didn’t even hesitate to nod his consent. Viktor probed Yuuri to say it, however, but as soon as Yuuri said ‘Yes’ out loud, Viktor flipped them over. He hovered over Yuuri with nothing short of adoration in his eyes. He kissed him slowly, starting at his lips and moving down his jaw, then his neck, and then he littered Yuuri’s body with those kisses. They undressed one article of clothing at a time until they were both naked, hardnesses pressing against each other. Viktor was gentle with Yuuri, using oil and his fingers to open him up. Yuuri moaned his pleasure to Viktor, but Viktor still asked him one more time, “Are you sure?”

Yuuri threw his arms around Viktor neck and almost cried, “ _Yes!_ Please, Viktor!” He was begging, kissing Viktor passionately. He pressed his forehead against Viktor’s and gazed into his eyes. “Make love to me,” he commanded firmly.

Viktor didn’t hesitate after that, pressing himself into Yuuri. They both stalled for a moment, simply feeling each other. Viktor started to move, slow and careful, and Yuuri wrapped his legs around Viktor’s waist. They grew frenzied, Viktor thrusting fast and desperately, and Yuuri’s eyes rolled into the back of his head. “ _Viktor!”_ he cried out. “Please!”

Viktor didn’t hold back much longer, “Yuuri!” he cried. “Yuuri, I’m—“ Viktor suddenly stopped deep inside of Yuuri with a loud groan. Yuuri was overwhelmed by the feeling of Viktor orgasming inside of him like that, and it pushed him over the edge as well. The two collapsed together after that, Viktor on top of Yuuri. They panted, taking several moments to come back to themselves before gazing at each other again. They pressed their lips together in another long kiss.

Viktor carried Yuuri to the bathroom. He bathed him, carefully cleaning Yuuri with gentle hands. They continued pressing kisses to each other’s lips until they returned back to bed. This time, when Yuuri fell asleep, he didn’t have any nightmares.

The Victory Tour continued, and it was hard. District 2 was almost as bad as District 1, and Yuuri cried hard on the train that night, but Viktor talked him through it. The nightmares got worse as the tour continued, especially after seeing the grieving faces of Districts 3, 4, and 11. They all looked at him with thanks, but that was almost worse than the hatred. He couldn’t save their tributes, and that fact haunted him in his dreams of their horrible deaths.

The tour came to a close, though, and Yuuri went back home. It was like starting over with his grief except this time, he didn’t feel so alone. His family was there. The Nishigoris were there. Viktor was there, and none of them ever left him.

Time went on, and Yuuri slowly healed. Viktor was right that it got worse again when the 126th annual Hunger Games came around, and Yuuri had to hopelessly watch the District 12 tributes die. He and Viktor both tried their best now, neither allowing themselves to withdraw and abandon the poor kids sent into the arena, but it was no use. Yuuri’s nightmares got worse, and for the first time, he saw Viktor’s get worse, too. Now they took turns holding each other after waking up screaming. Time went on, though, and the night terrors eased up again.

Yuuri and Viktor found a sort of peace. Years passed, and Yuuri eventually moved into Viktor’s house in Victors’ Village with him. Each year, they were terrorized by another Hunger Games, but Viktor was right in that it eventually got easier. Viktor drank each summer when the games came around, and Yuuri had more panic attacks, but they got through it together. The rest of those years, they lived in peace together. The rumors about their relationship began to circulate, but while they couldn’t officially get married, there wasn’t much anyone could do about it. Viktor and Yuuri still had their matching rings, and as they grew older, they had to occasionally get them refinished as they tarnished. Nothing about their relationship tarnished with the rings, though. Sometimes they fought, especially during the games, but they always fell back together. Nothing ever tore them apart again.

It was ten years after the 125th annual Hunger Games that it happened. It was springtime, and Yuuri looked out the window at the dandelions. Viktor held him from behind, but Yuuri was lost in thought. He remembered the tragedies of his games, specifically placing that single dandelion on Axel’s body. She had a grave in Twelve, and after each games, Yuuri and Viktor visited it together and placed dandelions on it. That spring morning, though, Yuuri decided to go there alone. He kissed Viktor goodbye and promised to be back soon.

Yuuri trudged through the streets of Twelve, and as always, there were whispers about him from all around. They didn’t get to Yuuri anymore, though. He simply made his way to the florist, asking for a bouquet of dandelions. The florist looked at him strangely, but when Yuuri offered him a good sum of money for it, the florist sent her son to go gather the flowers. The bouquet came out beautiful, small sprigs of baby’s breath being used as a filler. The bouquet conveyed the innocence and hope Yuuri had hoped for.

Yuuri entered the cemetery that had long since been exclusively used for the fallen tributes of Twelve. He passed the graves of the kids he’d been unable to save after his games and paid them his respects. When he reached Axel’s though, Yuuri stopped. He stared at the name on the tombstone for a long time, _Axel Nishigori_. Then, he kneeled before it, placing the bouquet upon it and closing his eyes. He apologized in his head for what had happened to her. He apologized for every moment she had spent alone, for his mistakes. He apologized for his sins, too, knowing she never would have wanted to see him become like that. He apologized for everything he’d done, one by one, until he ran out of apologies. Then, he asked for her forgiveness, and to Yuuri’s shock, a single yellow butterfly fluttered to him, landing on his prosthetic hand. He lifted it, looking at it curiously before it fluttered off, making a circle around the grave before disappearing into the distance.

Yuuri breathed a soft cry. His heart was suddenly light, and somehow, for the first time, he felt truly forgiven.

That’s when Yuuri realized that he had forgiven himself.

_The End._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there it is. The end. I almost cried writing it.
> 
> I drew some [art](https://noname-chan.tumblr.com/post/630522916167090176/art-from-the-second-to-last-chapter-cant-believe) from Chapter 19 as promised. But that's it! Unless I get a wild streak and draw some more, this is the last art, too!
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading. Your support has meant the world to me, and your comments and fanart has kept me going. This is the first time I've finished a fanfic longer than five chapters, and I'm amazed with myself. Thank you all again for supporting this fic, and please let me know what you think! For now, though, I bid thee adieu~
> 
> ....  
> Unless you're interested in the [pirate fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26693020/chapters/65110090) I just started. Feel free to check that out if pirate AUs are your thing.


	21. A Boy Named Viktor

Hey guys! I just added this chapter to let y'all know that GioGioStar wrote a [prequel](https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/65336371?show_comments=true&view_full_work=false#comment_350613412) to this fic from Viktor's POV! It's really good and I loved it a lot, so y'all should totally go give it a read while you wait for my slow ass to come out with the possible Yurio companion fic!

Tl;dr: I give Gio's work my official stamp of approval. GO READ NOW <3

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [A Boy Named Viktor](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26783065) by [GioGioStar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GioGioStar/pseuds/GioGioStar)




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